Gay Fantasies (Full Version)

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scotland -> Gay Fantasies (5/30/2007 5:13:57 PM)

Hi all,
I have been reading through a lot of posts these last few days, and I've found them all to be very informative. Thank you.

As for my question/comment. For the last two years I have been having very strong gay fantasies. While this is not something that is uncommon in general, it seems to have come out of nowhere. While growing up, these ideas repulsed me. Now out of (it seems) nowhere, these ideas really turn me on. This is the part I can't figure. I'm not opposed to changing my opinion on such things, but I'm not sure where it all came from. Along with all of these fantasies, I usually imagine myself submitting. This is something that I think most people I know would be surprised by.

I'm wondering how many others there are with similar experiences and what you ended up doing in the long run.
Many thanks,
S



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/30/2007 5:36:00 PM)

I've actually run across many more things that I found to turn me off even though I'd fantasized about them for years. People change. Don't be so hard on yourself...and don't be afraid of exploring them.

Master Fire



earthycouple -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/30/2007 5:39:04 PM)

I agree with MasterFireMa'am.  I fall into something new all the time and say "what the hell?  when did I think this would be cool?"  Go with it, as long as you are doing no harm to you or others...life is a bowl of cherries and I'm here to eat every darn one.



LadyPaige -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/30/2007 5:48:28 PM)

As we grow and become more educated we begin to loose our prejudices and are more open to new ideas.  Perhaps you're simply more open now than you were then.



HornyToadsMI -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/30/2007 6:58:53 PM)

Fantasies allow us to be people other than ourselves.  Let Yourself explore.....or just enjoy the dream.  i am a bisexual switch, and loving it!  (but would not have known if i hadn't tried).

Good luck in your searching!



hereyesruponyou -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/30/2007 6:59:09 PM)

You are naturally submissive so to fantasize about being with a male is just a variation on theme really. Maybe your inside has just become more comfortable with the idea of doing more things you previously thought were taboo. Being forced is also a common theme among many bdsm fantasies from forced bi to rape fantasies. A little force on either side is a turn on to me.

The next step is to decide if this is really an interest or just a fantasy that would remain better there. I've had rape fantasies since i was young, and as i explored this realm more i went through a phase where the idea of being forced to take many men orally and vaginally was VERY exciting to me. I could get off on just the idea if i let my imagination go. Wrote stories, did role play. But do i really want to experience these scenarios??? NO. Absolutely not. Not a chance in heck. Do i think there is anything wrong with others do ing this, not at all, it's just not for me. I think the fantasy is exciting but the reality would be damaging to me inside. I'll indulge my masochistic side in slightly more controlled ways thanks!




Faramir -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/30/2007 8:41:06 PM)

I'm going to make a wild guess that you're gay or bisexual, and that earlier in your life you repressed your feelings, and are now allowing yourself permission to express them.  I've known people and know of many people who supressed their sexuality and later admitted to it, and I've never came across someone who poof one day were gay, or asexual, or D/s framed, etc.

Good for you that you are letting yourself out of your closet!!



beargonewild -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/30/2007 9:26:55 PM)

I think that most of us in our early years felt the same way as yourself.. It sounds like to me that as you grew and learned more, your way of thinking also changed. As we learn more about ourselves and acquire a better understanding of our wants. needs and desires, what we once found repulsive has now become a desire to explore. It is only natural that many of our opinions change over time. Sometimes we are surprised by this, thinking we'd never do this or that but never say never as that can change!



Lordandmaster -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/30/2007 9:28:06 PM)

I have fantasies about gay women all the time.



scotland -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/30/2007 10:47:47 PM)

Thank you all for all the info. You all are incredibly brilliant about all of this. Really I probably did think about some of this as a younger teen,but honestly I would get repulsed by it. Perhaps this was repression. I don't know. But you all are right when you say that my mind is opener. This of course has happened with time. Obviously I must be Bi, but I am just now accepting it. Thank you so much for all the input. I still don't know how to go about all of this, but as always... time will tell.



RuheMaus -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/30/2007 11:05:05 PM)

I have to agree with most here.  If you feel an urge in this direction, it is fine to explore.  Just remember to keep it safe, sane, & consentual in your experimenting to see if this could be for you or not.  Good luck!



scotland -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/30/2007 11:24:56 PM)

I definitely understand the advice... "try it out if you think it is for you", "don't be hard on yourself", "enjoy", "be yourself", "be happy"... blah blah blah.

Honestly thanks. I know some people see this sort of banter as helpful... but I'm not looking for encouragement... I am looking for someone to relate. I'm not trying to be crass (even if I am being crass), but it feels like I'm sick and people telling me to "try and feel better".

Thanks again for the encouragement. Obviously, I am shy and not dipping my toes in the wet too quickly. I probably won't get "wet" anytime soon. I guess I am hoping to find someone that understands the hesitance and has experienced something similar.

To all those who have enquired... yes my folds were religious folks, but it has had no impact on my life. No, I didn't grow up in a small town... I am from the city. However these stereotypes aren't completely relevant. I still wouldn't want anyone to know.

I know I am being a little stand off-ish here... "it is just a bit of habit"... please ignore that. Thanks for the kind imput. If anyone has ever felt similar as I do... I would love to hear about it. As for everyone else... again thanks and I love you all.



LeatherBentOne -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/31/2007 3:53:27 AM)

I have fantasies as we all do.  Some of them would make the jaws drop of anyone who knew me well,  so I can relate.  I have no desire to make them come true, at least to my conscious mind.  From what Ive read, men fantasize about sex more than women do, but I think it depends on the individual.  I try to see my fantasies for what they are . . . fantasies.  Should there may come a time when I have the desire to make my fantasies come true, then I must decide whether or not to follow through.  But, I'll cross that bridge, if and when, I get to it. 

It's okay to have fantasies, quite "normal."  But, I hope that you can put your fantasies in the proper place without guilt, wherever they may or may not lead you.  Take them for what they are and keep them in perspective.  I think that you may be anxious because you feel the need to decide whether or not to act on them.  It may be putting the cart before the horse unless you feel the desire to act them out.  That's the time when you'll need to make choices.

Ive also read that when one acts out there fantasies, sometimes the actual experience wanes from what they fantasized about.  Nothing is more creative and a "turn-on" than what our minds allow us to visualize.  Most of the ones Ive acted on , paled in comparison because real life isnt as predictable as a fantasy.  We can control our fantasies, but we cannot predict the response we or others might have when we act them out in real.  There are just too many variables in real life or our lives would be perfect and we'd have no need to seek the advise of others, here or anywhere else.

I hope this helps you know that I can relate to your experiences, as can millions of people across the globe.

LBO



murmur -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/31/2007 4:56:22 AM)

I've had gay fantaisies for quite some time now and i must confess that even now i'm a bit afraid of trying out (fear of ridicule, fear of giving up my ideal of the love for the fun of sexual experience, etc). So i guess what i can tell you is that whatever you want to do, do it because you want to and not because it is something you've never tried out that will makes you feel cool. The bigger mistake you could make is assume who you are by your fantaisies without knowing everything about your real self. That could be destructive. I've been there - three years ago, because of my new interest in BDSM, i thought that that new path would redefine me better, but the way i took lead me to insane places in my mind because i thought that i needed the new cool stuff. New doesnt mean it's better.
I assume your changes cames with a new maturity of yourself and your desires and time has a big role in it. Time and your own openness (is that a word?) to yourself. Keep going in that way, with keeping in mind your true values and you'll be fine :)



cjenny -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/31/2007 5:02:51 AM)

My ex-hub and I were discussing this very thing yesterday. He has had homo-erotic dreams (hehehe & they skeered him) but to my knowledge I've never had one. Nor have I put waking thought to bi-sexual encounters.
Reading all the replies I wonder if I'm just... some sort of freak? I'm not a rigid person. Nor homophobic. I'm not repressed, I'm educated & open, I just don't have that inclination or interest.
Am I a freak [:(] ?



murmur -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/31/2007 5:05:14 AM)

of course not



lockedaway -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/31/2007 5:05:18 AM)

You aren't a freak.  Perhaps bisexuality simiply holds no eroticism for you. 



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/31/2007 7:09:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny
Am I a freak [:(] ?


Yes. Luckily, you're in good company. [;)]

Master Fire



Teachme59 -> RE: Gay Fantasies (5/31/2007 8:36:22 AM)

Hi Scotland

I believe I know exactly how you feel…a real bitch isn’t it. You will find many threads on what constitutes a homosexual or bisexual. You know the type…. they ask if you even think about the same sex does that make you gay or do you have to have a sexual encounter to be gay. They don’t help at all do they.
This forum is not always the best place for help or advice. People into this lifestyle tend to be open and non-judgmental. They have to be because their own desires are often extreme and to some outsiders perverse. They don’t judge least they be judged.

Now for my presumptions that may not be correct. I think there is a good chance you are a bisexual… but there are degrees of everything. In life people seem to forget that it is possible to be just a little of something or a lot. You may have a small leaning toward bi that is just enough to set off warning signs in your brain… or you may have a deep need. Believe me you will know in time.

When I was a teen I was very sexual… I loved women and I was well …admired by my friends in my exploits. But I had a secret…once in a great while I would think of men and get an erection. I hated myself for it…fought it and denied it… I would lay naked with a fantasy then after release feel so guilty. I let it eat at me for years and made the mistake of defining myself by it. Otherwise I did not feel good about myself. I overreacted and would get in fights…hell I joined the Marine Corps and volunteered for forced recon all to prove my manhood to myself. It did not help…. the feelings continued to come.
I just would not let myself fit in either world…I knew I was not gay…at least in wanting men exclusively… in fact I did not want men as anything but sexual partners… and even then only once in awhile. I was married and had children… a good father and lover but I felt that I was betraying my wife with those damn feelings. I was faithful while married but the guilt just would not go away.

I don’t mean to be a sexist but I do believe in general it is harder on men to admit they may be gay or bi. There are so many pressures in society to protect and provide… to be manly at all times. How many times have you denied yourself and made fun of gays. I know I have… not proud but I did it to survive.

I still hide my bisexuality but I understand it now and don’t feel guilty with those feelings. It has taken me a long time and I missed much in life because I refused to admit even to myself that I was bi.

Now for the advice….. only you know if the feelings are effecting your life and self worth. If they are… don’t be resigned to live with the conflict it will just get worse. Do some research and find some legitimate professional help. Let them help you learn how to deal with those feelings. The days of trying to change people’s sexual orientation are thankfully gone. They will help you straighten out your thoughts and provide ways you can live with them.

Good luck Butch



Faramir -> RE: Gay Fantasies (6/1/2007 9:50:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Teachme59

I joined the Marine Corps and volunteered for forced recon all to prove my manhood to myself. It did not help…. the feelings continued to come.


"Forced" recon??  Was that some kind of Freudian slip, perchance?  Suddenly I wonder at all the possibilities "ARS" might an acronym for...



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