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early on these black out came on while driving-

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ORIGINAL: RosaB

Pahunkboy, I empathize with you, I am under treatment for mini blackouts, its one of the reasons I had to give up driving among making many other changes to my life.  My doctors wanted to up my meds to lessen the instances even more, but I refuse as that would cause me to become completely homebound.  I prefer the dealing with things as they are as opposed to being flat out in bed 24/7.  Like you, there are good days and bad days. 

Some days it's barely possible for me to get the grocery through the door much less put them away before I pass out; and then some days, I have an abundance of energy, but if that energy is over used, it will take days to recover.  And try explaining this to people who see your outside layers and see the appearance of a healthy strong person, but know nothing of your health issues.  At times Its definately frustrating when you try to explain, why your unable to follow through on certain commitments.  I rarely cancel out on people, but it happens.  In the year that I've done volunteer work in my local area, I've called out only two times on the day I was to show up. I do appreciate the friends in my life that understand and though sometimes they get frustrated too, because sometimes they forget about my limitations, they always try to include me in all activities regardless of whether they think I'm able or not, but for some reason they never appoint me the designated driver.  HMMMM, I wonder why.

Oh and on my good days, I'm really, really bad. 

Rosa

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ORIGINAL: proudsub

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early on these black out came on while driving-

I'm sorry you have to go throught that, but i hope you aren't still driving, would hate to see you injured or worse, kill yourself or someone else.

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ORIGINAL: velvetears

Sounds like a form of narcolepsy.  It must be very frustrating to deal with, and dangerous unless you have some idea of when they are coming on.  i tend to think you must since you obviously are still driving. 

Most of the time people who haven't experienced an illness or disability simply don't have the capacity to understand what the implications are for it. Especially ones that aren't visual - like yours. If you were in a wheel chair or on crutches people would be more sympathetic or tend to give more credence to your disability.  Aslo i think people tend to become desensitized to people who have chronic illnesses and have less patience... for instance imagine living with someone who had a constant 24/7 year round flu - after a few weeks you would start to treat them like you would anyone else even though they were as sick on day 365 as they were on day one - it's human nature i suppose. 

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ORIGINAL: Sinergy


I have been in a situation similar to yours, Pahunkboy, and I empathize more than I can really express in text.

If there is anything that julia or I can do, do not hesitate to ask.

Sinergy

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ORIGINAL: HaveRopeWillBind

Count your blessings PA. You are alive, your brain functions, your body does most of the time, and there is always a chance a cure will be found for whatever troubles you.

Don't dwell on a missed computer deal. There will always be more, and often better, deals coming along.

In the meantime use whatever time you have left in life (hopefully a lot of it) to seek out satisfaction and avoid dwelling on things that tense you up.

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ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Hello hunkboy,
 
Do you have someone nearby who you can call when you feel a black-out coming on? 
Someone who can help you get home and secure the house? 
How does your dog react when this happens?  Does she sense the onset too?

I second the possibility of narcolepsy.  What options for treatment have your doctors offered?
 
Take good care of your sweet and wonderful self, feel free to write
at any time when you need some support.
 
 
Vendaval

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ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

Hunky (I hope you don't mind me calling you that) , I have shifted into overdrive. I have partially defined my abilities in other threads, so here goes. You tell me if I am stupid.

I have studied, and even though I do not have blackouts unless I really drink too much (very rare, been years), I can understand it from my younger days.

My brand of counselling can be harsh, the last couple here "Don't you realize that when you talk to him you are talking to someone who is fucked up in the head (turn to him) Don't you realize that when you tak to her to are talking to someone who is fucked up in the head ?". Enough on that, back to you're thing.

Hold on folks, this ride goes pretty fast.

The first thing we need to do is identify the trigger. The second thing we need to know is just what is your behavior like during an episode ? Are you like a different person or are you youself in a different reality ? Only the people around you can answer that. Hypnosis might bring it out, but to me hypnosis is a last resort. I would rather teach you enhanced meditation, that might give you the answers.

The human mind is a very complicated thing, and you are trying to understand it from the inside, which is not easy. But understanding is the key to the cure.

Exactly what causes these blackouts ? Is it interpersonal things ? What is more, you need to examine any and all meds you are taking as well as catalogue EVERYTHING you eat for a couple of weeks. If we find any correlation, perhaps I'll bring a couple people strong enough to keep things cool, and cause no harm, and we induce it. That would open your self up to me in ways you maybe don't want.

Fact of the matter is this, there are certain types of stress you can't deal with as of yet, and the tendencies of your 'alter-ego' so to speak, speaks volumes and gives valid clues to what exactly the problem is.

Do not EVER call me a professional, professionals are a bunch of boobs in my view. Don't ever think I will be here 24/7 for you, but you don't seem to need that, if you did, I dunno what to tellya.

You get it when I am ready and able, if you can accept that I need information. You should know what causes these episodes, and I am sure you have gotten some feedback on what happens during. This is crucial. This tells me of your inner desires, as well as which part of your psyche that isn't devloped enought to handle normal life.

Those are two very important pieces of information, without them we cannot proceed. Also your meds and diet, but those are a bit less important. If the trigger was food you would notice "Every time I eat hot wings this shit happens", then of course you order the mild I guess.

It is not going to be that simple. As much as I would like to keep it in the forum instead of going to ther other side, there may be things you don't want this public. But really if someone gleans something helpful, great. You have some degree of anonymity here, and I have found out, it is against the rules to really get on your case in the open forum, so there is really nothing to fear.

No matter how much I know about the complexity of the human mind, any solution starts with logic. If you weigh the trigger with the result, the tare is something to be considered. The simple logic might still apply, and when it does not, other factors are usually found, like some shit in your childhood or something.

If you black out, there is something that makes you want to run away. I also need to know how drunk and/or high you get. And if you do, are there times when it seems to hit you like a ton of bricks and other times when you could drive perfectly after a fifth of whiskey ? I can drive to FL after a case of beer. I made it to Columbia SC and found a really nice motel. I could've made it, but the time of day it was, the people I would see there were all sleeping. I did take about three naps on the way but they were short. I made to SC in record time, almost even including the time in NC with a flat tire.

You see intoxicants do not really effect you, they make you effect yourself. I kniow an older guy who literally drank a fifth of whiskey every day, NEVER had a DUI, and stopped having car wrecks like sometime in his twenties. And I know a younger guy who can drink like three Busch Lites (I mean these things about don't have any alchohol in them hardly) and be unfit to drive. Staggering and stupid he would be.

I have actually drank myself straight, and I know I was. I,,,,,,,,,,to try to stay within CM rules I shall now give you a totally hypothetical story about someone I might have known VERY VERY WELL.

Preludents. The mere existence of this drug burns me up. It consisted of a very powerful amphetomine, coated with a candy like coating of a mild barbiturate. What burns me up is that it was intended and used to get people all disoriented for court the next day, so the mental hospital can make more money. The drugs in it and the effects are known to me, and I resent being on the same planet as the MF who invented it. It was used to steal fortunes from people. That is not right.

Well, some people on what one might term the drug culture figured it out. Wash the barbiturate coating off and you got some seriously powerful speed. I am talking two tablets and up for three days. This is how I know about the sinister invention and application of this drug. And they were about $5 per pill.

NOW, I have not done a pill in decades. I think administering a pill like a Preludent to someone who already has problems is a crime, not even for the money. Doesn't a psychiatrist take the Hippocratic oath ? That is HARM.

The fact of the matter is that alot of the human suffering in this world is perpetuated by those who people look to for help. I know that is hard to swallow, but how does your shrink make his Mercedes payment without you ?

Is each and every one of them evil ? NO. But drug companies have been giving BIG BIG donations to med schools for decades.

So this hypothetical person, I am pretty sure he did not have a car at the time, but after three days of drinking (he had money) he was actually sober. And I mean drinking constsntly.

The existence of that drug is why I do not trust them. That hypothetical person survived, after crashing for about 36 hours, literally, but he was up for 72 without a break.

The sheer power of that drug proved to me that they are not nice, the existence of it proved an alterior motive. I don't know what else to say.

The Columbine shooter had drugs, PRESCRIPTION drugs. Anti-depressants, all that, try to get off of them if you can. If you haven't done anything violent it should not be a problem, but DO NOT just stop abruptly. I can't advise that and will not. But over time, you want off. That is a suggestion, one that needs to implemented carefully and probably gradually.

They want you dependent, and if you do not know who they are, just know that there is a they, they have beeen described before. When you (like me) need nothing from them, they do not like it.

You see I do not endevor to treat your problem and never will, I seek to CURE it. There is a difference.

It's your call.

T

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ORIGINAL: RosaB

"hi Rosa!

-interesting. i am glad someone understands. i can sense when these come on. can u???? "

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The kind I have are a bit strange, its really difficult for me to explain them, but for the most part I do get a warning.  I also have siezures where I just loose a few seconds of time.  Mostly I know its time for me to find a spot and rest my head, because, if I don't I will likely just pass out. But the brief moments of lost time were picked up during a battery of test performed, on me, at my neurologist office.  Only over the last year or so have I, myself, become aware of the mini siezures.  Though I look at the bright side of it, I miss out on quite a bit of babbling drbble in one way conversations, when people are talking at me.  That is so fun.    But then, I get to have an excuse if I don't remember a thing or if I don't make good sense most of the time.  WIN, WIN!  Ahhhhh, what's life without a sense of humor.   

BTW, it probably takes me more time to compose a stupid post than most people take to complete aaaaaaaa..... damn I just had black out., What was I about to say.  You laugh, I'm serious.  Oh, I know, it takes me as long to finish one of these things as it takes others to complete a uh, uh, uh, the words escape me.  Book report, that'll do for now or I'll be here all night.trying to recall the correct thought.  I envoke a bit of fun, but I'm dead serious, my thoughts jumble at times.

  .  stop that.