RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?!

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?!

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/19/2007 7:52:31 AM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

Sometimes I will let it be known what kind of mood I am in, other times I don't let on at all. There are times I want it more rough, or less rough....in the end though he pretty much does it how he wants to. There are times I don't enjoy the act, but I enjoy having made him happy. I don't think you have to enjoy an act to make you submissive, you are submissive by putting their needs and desires above your own (IMO).

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to fairerthanshe)

Post #: 21

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/19/2007 7:56:01 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

What if the Master in a mood to act mean, while the sub wants her Master to act nicely? Or the Master wants to act nice, while his sub wants him to act mean?

Who makes the decision?

PERSONALLY, if he is following my wishes, then there is something very wrong with the relationship. He should follow his own dictates towards how he wishes to act with me; not mine.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Master96)

Post #: 22

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/19/2007 8:37:20 AM

PairOfDimes

Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

should all the subs/slave enjoy doing things their Owners want, even if the subs/slaves don't want to do it (except limits)? If a sub doesn't enjoy it, does that makes her/him less submissive?

I think it's pretty hot when a person obeys me out of pleasure in the obedience, without finding pleasure in the activity requested. Rare, admittedly, but hot.

(in reply to Master96)

Post #: 23

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/19/2007 9:06:20 AM

robertolapiedra

Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Master96

For me it is the Master.... but when the Master never care for his sub's wants or need then it is a red flag. But we have to keep in mind the idea of "topping from bottom"; a sub should expect that her mood isn't the same of her Master's all the time.

I want to ask too... should all the subs/slave enjoy doing things their Owners want, even if the subs/slaves don't want to do it (except limits)? If a sub doesn't enjoy it, does that makes her/him less submissive?

Hello Master96. Just for the sake of argument, do you really think that a request from a sub is 'automatically' topping from the bottom? What about a Master who asks his sub what she want's is it 'bottoming from the top'? Or is it mostly regarded as being considerate?

If it is to bring attention to need, it is not topping. If it is asking information about a need, it is not bottoming. It is considerate and respectful. A good sub knows that her dominant 'needs' this information. If she is free to suggest, again how can this be topping?

If you use the driving a car analogy. A sub giving you 'map instructions' (information) so you can arrive to where 'you' want to go is not topping, she's helping. A sub telling you how to drive, where to turn, how to turn, when to stop, how to stop, too fast, too slow is actually telling you how to drive (training you!) I think that may be topping a little. What do you think? RL.

(in reply to Master96)

Post #: 24

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/19/2007 12:33:24 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Master96
What if the Master in a mood to act mean, while the sub wants her Master to act nicely? Or the Master wants to act nice, while his sub wants him to act mean?

Who makes the decision?

He makes the decisions whether that decision is to continue doing what he wants even if I am not in the mood for it or if the decision is to change what he is doing. He will do what he wants as long as it is not harmful to me. He also knows that he can't push water uphill and if he wants to go in a direction that mentally I am just not capable of going at that time it will not be pleasurable for either of us. The key is that I am not capable of doing it and not that I don't want to do it.

quote:

I want to ask too... should all the subs/slave enjoy doing things their Owners want, even if the subs/slaves don't want to do it (except limits)? If a sub doesn't enjoy it, does that makes her/him less submissive?

No and no. For me, to submit is to follow the will another. Whether I like what I am doing or not is irrelevant to whether I am submitting to him.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Master96)

Post #: 25

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/19/2007 2:27:01 PM

ready4srvce4all

Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline

In regards to opposite moods, my first and foremost thought is, "How is Mistress feeling?" Communication between Dominant and submissive is the key. We are human above all else, and even a Dominant has their frail moments. I feel it is my responsibility to make Mistress happy, and when She is, I am. So if She wants to act mean or nice, I feel it is for me to follow, not resist.

Regarding should a sub or slave enjoy what their Dominant does (within limits), even if the sub/slave doesnt' actually garner much from it. Yes they should. If it isn't a limit, then they should be expected to do it. It doesn't make them less submissive, in fact, I think the opposite. To engage in something a sub/slave doesn't enjoy, but does it to please Mistress/Master, I feel is the core of submission.

_____________________________

(in reply to Master96)

Post #: 26

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/19/2007 5:10:59 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I know for me and Master when our moods arent matching we take it easy from the M/s not that we arent master and slave but we dont look to scene or anything becuase it isnt going to end well.. It doenst happen often but if we are in contradictory moods the best thing is to take it easy and not cause friction.. at least that is how we handle it.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to fairerthanshe)

Post #: 27

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/19/2007 11:53:42 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

I do not enjoy him honestly being mean, we play around like he says I am a whore who needs a cock in her mouth, because it's my job, but if he was to say I was stupid or worthless or anything it'd instantly knock me out of the mood. I DO NOT play around with things like you stupid bitch or you're worthless.

If I am not in the mood for mock meanness then he don't do it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Master96

What if the Master in a mood to act mean, while the sub wants her Master to act nicely? Or the Master wants to act nice, while his sub wants him to act mean?

Who makes the decision?

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

(in reply to Master96)

Post #: 28

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/20/2007 5:33:34 AM

salilus

Posts: 201
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline

I don't always enjoy everything Daddy does with/to me but I still do it... and it doesn't matter to him if I enjoy it or not, most of the time.

However, if he really likes what he's doing, I usually end up enjoying it as well.

(in reply to Master96)

Post #: 29

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/20/2007 6:24:41 AM

nonu

Posts: 139
Joined: 8/31/2005
From: Cochin, India
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

Any good Dominant will guage the needs of both parties involved before saying things like "strip it's time to pull out the rope and wand". If the moods aren't congruent enough then playtime doesn't happen.

This comes down to how in tune with each other you are. One of the things that makes the relationship I have with my slave so perfect is that even in type written communication I can "hear" what he says to me and vice versa. We are in tune with each other.

Chores have to be done by someone... My slave doesn't enjoy certain house chores but he does them because it pleases me; pleasing me, thrills him; the world is in balance and life goes on. This can be said for many many things...

Just the way i feel about my Queen. It is the 'understanding' in the relationship that helps in making most such decisions.

She knows what She wants and when She wants it, but at the same time, She also knows when is the best time to get it out of me. If it can wait, it will....but if it cannot, then i'm nobody to question Her decision.

And that's the way it works best. We both know that i trust Her enough, to blindly walk into any door She asks me to. Why else would She be my Queen and i Her pet?

< Message edited by nonu -- 5/20/2007 6:26:38 AM >

_____________________________

We're all different....until we realise that we're all the same, and vice versa...

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 30

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/20/2007 7:04:37 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I' the dominant in our household so my mood seems to have far more effect on us all than any one else's mood. That tends to happen with my friends too.

If I'm in a good mood, everyone seems to be able to feel better. When I'm in a bad mood, basically leave if you can't handle it or work to help me feel better.

Is that fair? No, but it is reality in my household.

My feeling things as I feel them is far better for everyone then when I locked things inside where they'd build up to very nasty explosions.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Master96)

Post #: 31

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/21/2007 11:11:57 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

Greetings

If Master wishes to act mean, nice, playful; etc, etc...it is his choice to do so. It is not my place to tell him how he can or can not act, despite MY mood.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to Master96)

Post #: 32

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/21/2007 11:15:44 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PairOfDimes

quote:

should all the subs/slave enjoy doing things their Owners want, even if the subs/slaves don't want to do it (except limits)? If a sub doesn't enjoy it, does that makes her/him less submissive?

I think it's pretty hot when a person obeys me out of pleasure in the obedience, without finding pleasure in the activity requested. Rare, admittedly, but hot.

it may not be quite as rare as you think.

(in reply to PairOfDimes)

Post #: 33

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/21/2007 11:18:56 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: PairOfDimes

quote:

should all the subs/slave enjoy doing things their Owners want, even if the subs/slaves don't want to do it (except limits)? If a sub doesn't enjoy it, does that makes her/him less submissive?

I think it's pretty hot when a person obeys me out of pleasure in the obedience, without finding pleasure in the activity requested. Rare, admittedly, but hot.

it may not be quite as rare as you think.

Greetings daddysprop

I am inclined to agree with you

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 34

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/21/2007 11:51:56 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Master96

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

What most women want tends to be someone who will act mean and act nice depending on what will turn her on at that particular time :)

What if the Master in a mood to act mean, while the sub wants her Master to act nicely? Or the Master wants to act nice, while his sub wants him to act mean?

Who makes the decision?

Edited to add:

For me it is the Master.... but when the Master never care for his sub's wants or need then it is a red flag. But we have to keep in mind the idea of "topping from bottom"; a sub should expect that her mood isn't the same of her Master's all the time.

I want to ask too... should all the subs/slave enjoy doing things their Owners want, even if the subs/slaves don't want to do it (except limits)? If a sub doesn't enjoy it, does that makes her/him less submissive?

I think it is a matter of getting to know each other...reading each other. But in the end, I am of the agreement that it is what I say will happen that happens. For me, usually that decision is arrived at based on what I am feeling and thinking and wanting and being aware of what the submissive I am with likes. Sometimes it is based on input from the submissive and sometimes, it just flows as we react to each other.

kyra made an interesting point and I hope this will not be considered hijacking: she noted that it is difficult to push water uphill. I agree with that. She also noted though that when she does not do something, it is not because she does not want to but because she can't. I think the hard thing...no matter how long the relationship has gone on...is being able to judge in each instance whether or not that is what is occurring: the submissive is not just being stubborn or pouty because she did not get her way or what she wanted/liked/needed but really cannot do what you are asking her to do.

(in reply to Master96)

Post #: 35

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/22/2007 5:01:27 AM

Master96

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline

Thank you guys so so much :) You all were helpful, and I'm looking for more inputs :D

After reading your replies I now understand more that.....

Both or all, when it is poly, parties of the relationship should be happy. I want my slave to enjoy things I do or she does either for the enjoyment we both have. Or because I just enjoy it, I agree with you PairOfDimes :) And we can have it all sometimes like cuddling up after a session, for example. Thank you MasterMataeo.

However, I can't expect my slave do something or me do something she can't handle it at a time, physically or emotionally. Thanks kyra and CreativeDominant.

Keyword: Communication :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: robertolapiedra

Hello Master96. Just for the sake of argument, do you really think that a request from a sub is 'automatically' topping from the bottom? What about a Master who asks his sub what she want's is it 'bottoming from the top'? Or is it mostly regarded as being considerate?

If it is to bring attention to need, it is not topping. If it is asking information about a need, it is not bottoming. It is considerate and respectful. A good sub knows that her dominant 'needs' this information. If she is free to suggest, again how can this be topping?

If you use the driving a car analogy. A sub giving you 'map instructions' (information) so you can arrive to where 'you' want to go is not topping, she's helping. A sub telling you how to drive, where to turn, how to turn, when to stop, how to stop, too fast, too slow is actually telling you how to drive (training you!) I think that may be topping a little. What do you think? RL.

I'm on these boards to learn :) I liked the care example. It is very helpful, thank you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I get the impression (perhaps wrongly) that there is much concern about topping from the bottom. I do not know how big of a problem this really is. It has not seemed to be a problem in my neck of the woods, but it seems to be a very big concern here. Some even seem to think that a submissive wanting to do X Y or Z is somehow topping from the bottom...

It is rather simple for us. I state what I want, what I am in the mood for, if I am in the mood for something... but mostly I just like going along with what he wants. I do not expect that we will do what I want, but if he asks me what I want, he usually intends to give it to me...smiles.

I do not think I should enjoy all the things that my Daddy wants. He usually wants me to enjoy it though.

When it comes to sex, sometimes it is just sex. The Ds portion of what we are together is all the time, but sometimes when we are being sexual we just go with the flow. I never think about whether I am topping from the bottom at times like these, in fact I never worry about topping from the bottom...isn't that odd?

I'm also concern about red flags very much too..... thanks for your input juliaoceania

< Message edited by Master96 -- 5/22/2007 5:02:24 AM >

_____________________________

Master96,

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Understand that actions will always speak louder than words.

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence? - Sai Baba

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 36

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/22/2007 5:35:51 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ready4srvce4all

Regarding should a sub or slave enjoy what their Dominant does (within limits), even if the sub/slave doesnt' actually garner much from it. Yes they should. If it isn't a limit, then they should be expected to do it. It doesn't make them less submissive, in fact, I think the opposite. To engage in something a sub/slave doesn't enjoy, but does it to please Mistress/Master, I feel is the core of submission.

Greetings,
i am going to highlight this viewpoint.
In regards to LTRs, one would hope communication and trust had already been established... alot of personal growth and developement come from that which stretches us - many times in vanilla life we do things we do not wish to but must because we have made a commitment to do so, the choice comes in how we approach the task - do we do it grudgingly and with negative thought or do we do it in a spirit of quiet acceptance, offering even the smallest task to the universe?
Likewise, with submission...it is how we approach the task and perform it that brings beauty to action. We can control our moods thru positive replacement. The Dominant is not asking for me to be pleased, happy and in the mood for each request i am given - He/She expects it to be done with beauty and grace in the true spirit of service - it is up to me to change my mood and thru this, i grow~

i realize there are exceptions here, as there always are, but in general...when one agrees to service - it should be done to the best of ones ability, with grace and beauty, to "master" our own negative thoughts and grow in the giving of oneself~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)

Post #: 37

RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?! - 5/23/2007 12:43:21 AM

LadyPaige

Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

It's the Master's decision. While a responsible Master will take his submissives needs and desires into consideration, it is still his decision. If he consistently disregards your needs and desires then you need to communicate to him that you are not feeling cared for. If it continues long term, then you need to consider if he's the Master you need.

No two people are going to enjoy ALL the same things. Is it not very submissive that you do the things you don't like in order to please him?

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

Post #: 38

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: mood.... sub's or Master's ?!

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.250