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New BDSM analogy - 5/17/2007 9:11:05 AM

SimplyMichael

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I have always likened bdsm to dancing, where one leads the other follows but the reality of who is leading and who is following is far more complex because if the leader couldn't see the follower they would stumble and trip.

Sailing is a lot like BDSM. You want to get to a goal but often can't get there directly. A sailboat is powerless but uses the power of the wind to not only move but often sail into the wind, using that energy as its own, tacking back and forth, moving indirectly but always moving forward toward some distant goal. The path is sometimes quite indirect especially if the wind is against you but despite that you still move forward. The better you can read the wind, the faster you can move forward even when it is completely against you. If you run into a storm you pull down your sails and ride it out but you don't quit, when the wind is reasonable, you emerge, set sail, and again using power that isn't yours, you move toward your goal.

Then, having mastered the wind and sailed into it and used it as your own, you tack and fly downwind, that energy filling your sails as you move with the wind as fast as your boat can go.

YMMV...

Post #: 1

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/17/2007 11:21:57 AM

lighthearted

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at the risk of sounding cliche, that sounds more like life than anything else...

edited because I can't spell

< Message edited by lighthearted -- 5/17/2007 11:22:23 AM >

_____________________________

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Post #: 2

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/17/2007 12:56:43 PM

cloudboy

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Clearly he was listening to Bob Dylan with his sub tied to the mast on his last sailing trip.

I kept waiting for him to go on about tying knots. He never did.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 5/17/2007 1:23:23 PM >

(in reply to lighthearted)

Post #: 3

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/17/2007 2:49:03 PM

earthycouple

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Joined: 2/19/2006
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It does sound like life....Michael...a lovely picture though. I have a friend, a rope bottom who loves to sail and I thought of him during the reading of your post...it was meaningful for me in more ways than you making your point.

Thanks.

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Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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Post #: 4

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/17/2007 4:32:44 PM

robertolapiedra

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Joined: 5/3/2007
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Hello SimplyMichael. Nice poetry, me likes. (Waiter! I'll have what he's having!) RL.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 5

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/17/2007 10:58:16 PM

aldompdx

Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
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This is the definition of the switch. Sometimes surrendering to the wind, and other times controlling it to their advantage.

> the leader couldn't see the follower they would stumble and trip.
This is the lack of forsight, and the surrender to chaos. The greater one's forsight, the greater their control over their destiny.

(in reply to robertolapiedra)

Post #: 6

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/17/2007 11:45:19 PM

SadoCasinero

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Joined: 12/8/2006
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if you run into a storm....
suddenly at 2 am you are flung upside down; you pick yourself out of the heap of canned goods, and wait, knowing you are poised over 6000' of water. Suddenly you flip back up, and everything that was on the ceiling falls back on top of you again, only this time mixed with diesel oil, food and sharp broken things. The lights go out. You check outside, and see that you no longer have anything to catch the wind with. A nasty insidious sloshing noise urges one to pump; and pump and pump. Eventually you realize that you're on a losing streak here, so you abandon ship and get a ride home in a helicopter. You start over, chastened and wiser.

Yep..it was very much like a relationship!

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 7

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/18/2007 5:08:58 AM

Focus50

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Simply

Sailing is a lot like BDSM.

Mind if I cite this gem next time someone is after philosophical quotes relevant to BDSM?

<chuckles on outa here>

Focus.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 8

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/18/2007 5:26:14 AM

petdave

Posts: 2479
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...and sometimes, the wind is against you, the current is against you, and there's nothing left to do but break out the paddle.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 9

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/18/2007 10:39:08 AM

CuriousLord

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You'll need a partner with a paddle, too, or you just may find yourself going in circles from being so one-sided. ;)

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 10

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/18/2007 12:03:23 PM

WhiplashSmile

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Analogies and Metaphors can be great to convey thoughts, ideas, meaning and emotions.   However, you have to be consious of your target audience.

What one persons mental image of sailboating is totally different from another persons.   This is based on their own personal experience or things they have read or saw about sailboating.

A group of farmers in Iowa may not fully connect with the deeper meaning or concepts being associated with Sailboating.

I found it interesting that CuriousLord spoke it being important that one should have partner with a paddle too, else you'll be rowing around in circles. While there is merit in what he posted, it itself does not strongly connect with the sailboating analogy. Where as Sailboating is about being powered by the wind and not by human power of oar strokes. The OP was expressing the harnessing the natural power and energy about oneself and using it for ones own purpose and direction. In many cases to the point where we can take engery that is working against us to move in the right direction we want to go. That we can move in a direction other then simply going with the natural flow of things.   This is an aspect of my own Domly nature, that I don't simply go with the flow or follow the mindless masses at times.   So many ways I equate the OPs post regarding being a Dom.

In regards to CuriousLords post, it reminds me of a passage out of the bible about a OX and an ASS being Yoked together trying to plow the field. An OX and Ass (jackass aka mule) coupled together will plow in circles.   Well, so how does this apply to BDSM. It simply means that two like minded people need to get together. This does not mean that a pair of Dom/mes or submissives should get together. It just means that two people need to like minded on the choice for the type of relationship they desire to be able to have a relationship that has direction to it.

I think the OP was equating the wind to the power exchange itself. That the levels of power might change direction or even fluctuate and that one must be prepared to deal with it.   Hell, not to mention what can happen in an unexpected storm. Relationship power dyanamics tend to be just that! Dynamic!   it's not a simple matter of two people rowing in unison at a constant rate or direction.   The sailboat dynamic also account for outside forces that threaten to change the direction of the boat as well.   Wind itself being any force that exerts itself upon the power exchange dyanamics.   For instance what happens when a Dom or submissive becomes ill, or let's say disabled for a matter of a few months. This is a bit of a change in the wind is it not? This is when two people can not simply row or even think about oaring a boat.

What if there is a death in the family, where somebody needs a break with the normal dynamics of the relationship. Peoples priorities can change and their focus is changed based on things such as the loss of a friend or family member, loss of job, changing jobs, relocation, and other things. Hell, the house could burn down.   There are situations that will confront and test any Dom/me and it might be up to the other person (submissive or whoever) to pick up the slack or step out of their normal day to day role.   For example, lets say.. I have a slave and her mother was killed in an auto accident! She would be in no frame of mind to function properly under the role of being a slave.   It would be time for me to read this wind, and make adjustments in the sails to accomodate for the changes in the power dynamics.   Last thing in the world I would be doing is expect for her to row in unison with my ass.. if this was a RowBoat...

There's a difference between the type of power involved in sailboating and rowboating. In my book if you can't row the boat yourself with both oars in the water or even one what are you going to do, in the event the other person becomes sicks, hurt, injured or god forbid falls over board. Will you find yourself rowing around in circles then?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 11

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/18/2007 12:19:58 PM

sadomasokisti

Posts: 221
Joined: 10/20/2005
From: Iceland
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I often find it helpful to say that BDSM play is like flying. The dom is the pilot and the sub is the plane. If the plane is in order and the pilot knows the plane he can get them both very high, and then land safely. If the pilot doesn't watch all the instruments and dials (signs) the plane can easily crash.

_____________________________

Pain is good. Extreme pain is extremely good

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 12

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/18/2007 6:12:15 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile
What one persons mental image of sailboating is totally different from another persons. This is based on their own personal experience or things they have read or saw about sailboating.

A group of farmers in Iowa may not fully connect with the deeper meaning or concepts being associated with Sailboating.

I found it interesting that CuriousLord spoke it being important that one should have partner with a paddle too, else you'll be rowing around in circles. While there is merit in what he posted, it itself does not strongly connect with the sailboating analogy. Where as Sailboating is about being powered by the wind and not by human power of oar strokes.

Damn personal experiences... you must be a better sailor than i

At least my D/s relationship has hit fewer oyster beds than my Jetwind.

...dave

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 13

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/18/2007 6:57:49 PM

Kitte9

Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
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Very nice, Michael. You're writing teacher should be very proud of the images you inspire.

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I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 14

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/18/2007 7:16:52 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I have always likened bdsm to dancing, where one leads the other follows but the reality of who is leading and who is following is far more complex because if the leader couldn't see the follower they would stumble and trip.

Sailing is a lot like BDSM. You want to get to a goal but often can't get there directly. A sailboat is powerless but uses the power of the wind to not only move but often sail into the wind, using that energy as its own, tacking back and forth, moving indirectly but always moving forward toward some distant goal. The path is sometimes quite indirect especially if the wind is against you but despite that you still move forward. The better you can read the wind, the faster you can move forward even when it is completely against you. If you run into a storm you pull down your sails and ride it out but you don't quit, when the wind is reasonable, you emerge, set sail, and again using power that isn't yours, you move toward your goal.

Then, having mastered the wind and sailed into it and used it as your own, you tack and fly downwind, that energy filling your sails as you move with the wind as fast as your boat can go.

YMMV...

Except that most sailboats under most conditions will be faster upwind than down under competent hands.

Not that incorporating this fact would diminish the usefulness of the analogy. Quite the contrary.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 15

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/18/2007 7:21:32 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Is this the exception that proves the rule?

Circuitously,
Milo Kant

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Noah)

Post #: 16

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/18/2007 7:58:17 PM

KeirasSecret

Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline

quote:

Where one leads the other follows but the reality of who is leading and who is following is far more complex because if the leader couldn't see the follower they would stumble and trip.

I have thought of the dance analogy as well, the thing with dancing, when you are good and know your partner; you know where they are without looking. I do also see life as a dance.

I don’t know much about sailing but, it would seem to me, that with the wind being unpredictable, it would leave too much to chance.

I have also thought of it as resembling a car. The “D” represents the positive charge; the “s” represents the negative charge, the relationship the car itself, or something like that. Starting a relationship is equivalent to hooking up the battery, which starts the car.

Makes me want to ask... "So, how fast do you go?", or What kind of car do you drive?" *shrugs*

Edited to add: Also, a playground see-saw, where balance is based on the pivot point and not equality of weight.

k

< Message edited by KeirasSecret -- 5/18/2007 8:03:00 PM >

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 17

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/18/2007 10:17:52 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Is this the exception that proves the rule?

Circuitously,
Milo Kant

Aww. You cost me $20, Ron.

I had bet you were gonna say "... the exemption that proves puerile."

Turbidly,

Savonarollerova

< Message edited by Noah -- 5/18/2007 10:32:46 PM >

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 18

RE: New BDSM analogy - 5/19/2007 4:38:24 AM

mnottertail

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Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

If the bet was with yours, you are only robbing wittgenstien to pay russell.

Gregorian Kant

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Noah)

Post #: 19

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