For the purpose of my question and, hopefully, ensuing comments, the following meanings: (NOTE: These are not meant to be ‘twue’ definitions but, rather, interpretations for the purpose of clarity in questions and answers. This is not meant to be a debate on terminology of these concepts below)

M/s Relationship: Master/slave and/or Dominant/Submissive. Not necessarily to include S/m activities.

Events: Conventions, educational classes, workshops, runs, discussion groups, etc for alternative lifestyles. May or may not also include play time.

Play Parties: Dungeon nights, public play spaces etc.

quote:

But I dislike when people blame "everyone else" and their lack of understanding as a reason to hide under a bush.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

In another post someone stated: "Most people who live their M/s dynamic full time do not attend events because of the misunderstandings." (MasterNdorei)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Argentopal

Just some random thoughs, comments and questions:

Not because I felt outcast, but because everyone else seemed so damned fake and forced. I mean, does everyone really strut around their homes wearing chaps with their ass cheeks hanging out every day?

No, most people, no matter their fetish, do not strut around their homes like that. But who wears a tux at home, who wears a cocktail dress and their best jewlry to clean house, who has steak and a marvelous wine every night ... no one does, but isn't it fun to dress up and go out for a fine dinner sometimes?  People who have a fetish or even just want to feel like they look really hot need a place to do that.  Just like the ones who do enjoy seeing people in full out fetish gear need a place to go see it.  One of the groups we used to attend very regularly had monthly parties and they were fun, but the group had an annual event that was bigger and for that one everyone wore "their best" and the coustumes ala Renn Fair, the leather, latex, feathers, guys in ballerina tutus, women in thigh hi boots ... they all made the atmosphere so much different and more energized.  Now - personally, we do not go all out in that way, Argent has one "pirate/gypsy" shirt and a couple of different leather vests (ummm that he wore back when we CW danced all the time) and I have a few things put together from "vanilla wear" to look fetishy.  But, just because we do not wear it all, we still enjoy seeing it, and wearing it does not make someone fake.
 
I guess that it is hard for me to get your point about dressing up for dinner, because I don't do that either. I did not say that it was wrong, though, I said it seemed fake. I also found that everyone calling one another " Master " this, " Lady " that and so on to be equally fake. Nothing wrong with renfaires, but they don't pretend to not be fake. Just the opposite, in fact. Rennies aren't pretending to be real. I don't give a rats ass if you want to go to a BDSM event, a formal dinner, or a ren fair. But at the same time, I will not care to attend. I will also continue to think of it as flaunting ones kinkiness, and I am entitled to my opinion whether it distresses you or not. Many had posted that the M/s people they knew enjoyed such events. I was simply stating that I did not. I also hate rap and feel that it insults the word music by association. Are you going to take offense at this opinion of mine as well?


From some other comments here it almost seems as if there is a feeling that if a couple includes bd-sm in their relationship it means they cannot be in a "twue" M/s relationship ...???  huh???  Have I misunderstood some of the feelings expressed here?  If you are in an "owner-property" relationship and you see someone flog their submissive do you assume that they are NOT really in an M/s relationship?  If so - why would you think that, I do not understand that line of thought amd would like to at least see how someone can think that.  If you are owner and property and it fulfills something in the owners personality to flog someone, and they own someone, why can't they flog them?  I hope I wrote that in a way that makes sense.
 
Again, don't give a rats ass if you flog someone or not. But if you are only flogging them at BDSM events, you are probably only playing at it to show everyone how kinky you are. Not that I care, but I don't care to waste my time going and watching either.


But if it floats your boat to go to them, then be my guest. Just remember that some of us don't feel the need to show people how kinky we can be.


I have no need to show people how kinky I can be.  Actually that is best left for the privacy of our home/bedroom/dungeon/ trees outside!  We go to alot less now that we did in the past, but we have been going to things for 10 years now and there really is only so much time and $$ to go around, and we have found a smallish, close circle of friends that we really enjoy spending time with.  

Some people enjoy an outlet for their fetish and should not be regaled as fake because they do.
 
So this is about tolerance, is it? Some of us find events to be pompous, cliquish, self indulgent, and a waste of time. And how many threads on CM have people stated that they don't trust people that aren't active in such nonsense? I guess that tolerance isn't a two way street. And as for an outlet for a fetish, is not the home an ideal setting for such a thing? And yet you yourself admit that they are not parading around like that at home. Isn't this a little telling to you? Perhaps not, but to me it screams " Ohhh, look at me! Kinky is hip, and I am super, mega, kingsize hip! ". Yes, I think that they are Yuppies playing at kink because kink is vogue. This is my opinion, and one that any amount of bashing and flaming will reinforce, not negate.
 
 


We are an M/s and have never felt left out or disrespected - in fact just the opposite.