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Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 3:37:31 AM

willing2serve

Posts: 381
Joined: 4/6/2004
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Do you consider it a sign of disrespect or demeaning authority for a submissive to use endearing names for their Dominant such as, "babydoll", "darlin", "hot shot", etc..?

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 3:43:43 AM

perseus7

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Joined: 2/27/2005
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That is a tough call, as it can not always seen a sign of respect. I would argue a wide lattitude can be given to private moments. Also it may help if one is masquerading as an "average vanilla" couple in social events. I would argue that such public display of affection in lifestyle events could be miscontrued as disrespect and should be avoided in those events.

Perseus7

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 5:03:23 AM

topcat

Posts: 1013
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Long Island
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Midear Willing-

outside of a few ritualised exchanges, I don't even require 'Sir'- I let it be known that I like it, and if she has the desire to please me, I'll hopefully hear it now and again. There are some times and situtions where I might find 'hun' or 'baby' or the like inapropriate, but unless it was a strictly SM relationship (that is, one that wasn't a componet of romantic relationship), I'd likely accept it as a token of affection

Stay warm,

Lawrence

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 7:22:53 AM

Moleculor

Posts: 182
Joined: 5/23/2004
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I'm "Bob".

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 8:55:24 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
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If the owner allows it, it's fine.

Naming eachother is a sign of solidarity and connectedness. Many Ds relationships involve love. I call the Owner by his name often, or when referencing him to other people. It can get confusing with an entire convention calling "sir!" or "master!" all the time.

It's not about the name, it's about the meaning. I know a sub who calls her dom "MasterMuffin" and they enjoy it thoroughly.

(in reply to willing2serve)

Post #: 5

RE: Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 9:22:18 AM

MrThorns

Posts: 801
Joined: 6/4/2004
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I think that certain "alternate" names can be considered disrespectful, but it really depends on the context in which it is used. I have absolutely no problems being called "...fucking bastard..." during a scene, but would probably take some offense if it were said to me while out shopping with my girl.

I'll admit that I would probably be taken aback if she referred to me as "sweetie" or "loverhoneysnugglemuffin" and would question the reference, (as I can't imagine such things ever coming out of her mouth..) but I don't think I would consider it disrespectful.

~Thorns

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 9:41:44 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 1291
Joined: 4/3/2004
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Context please. If you do it in the middle of a scene, it is inappropriate. If you do it with a strange Dominant, it is inappropriate. If your Dominant expresses that they do not like pet names and you're to always call them by a certain title every time you address them, it is inappropriate. Otherwise, I don't see the problem with it as long as your behavior and tone are respectful or loving. My sub calls me Ma'am at all times of his own volition. It is not only his title for me; it is his pet name for me. Sometimes in a very intimate moment he will call me baby. That has happened a total of four times. I've found it sweet every time he's done it, as it was an appropriate time and place.

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 10:02:20 AM

sanita

Posts: 328
Joined: 1/30/2005
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i, too, think it is something that depends on the One being addressed.

i thought about it when i read your question. most of the time, i address my Master as "Master," sometimes i use His name, and i have been known to address Him as "Cutie Pie, Sweetie Darling" or the like, but never when it is more than a little good natured teasing.

as friends, before we were able to be together, i often referred to Him as "Sweet," so He still answers to that. thought He does say He is not sure how sweet He actually is.

also, so there is no question about how seriously i take Him as Dominant, quite often, that string of descriptive endearments is followed by "Badass."

my Sweet-Cutie-Pie-Badass does not seem to have a problem with it. However, i am NOT to call Him "Baby," and i am especially not to tell Him "Poor Baby," unless given explicit permission.

i don't mean it as any sort of disrespect. it is a way of me showing how much i adore Him. it is playful, and endearing, and if we are in chat, and other Doms rib Him about it, He laughs as One who is secure in his masculinity.

and really, when He has me pinned down and is growling with that feral look in His eyes... ummmmmmmm, all i can usually think to say to Him, is "Yours."

_____________________________

Sometimes, He calls me "subbie." Sometimes, i call me "subbie." And if someone wants to call me a BBW, its flattering. Just don't call me false.

"Please do not show me your ass and expect me to read your mind." -Opencollar

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 10:11:05 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2245
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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Well, I call my partner my "boy." It comes from before we took power exchange seriously, but it does confuse a lot of people.

We go by "boy" and "girl" a lot, to each other and to some of our friends. I dunno...it's a diminuative, but it's also something we've adopted into our lexicon as a term of love for each other. It's nice.

It -does- tend to make people do a double take, especially when I'm on alt chat.

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 12:52:18 PM

willing2serve

Posts: 381
Joined: 4/6/2004
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quote:

also, so there is no question about how seriously i take Him as Dominant,....
i don't mean it as any sort of disrespect. it is a way of me showing how much i adore Him. it is playful, and endearing....
and really, when He has me pinned down and is growling with that feral look in His eyes... ummmmmmmm, all i can usually think to say to Him, is "Yours."

I can completely understand this. And I think the general consensus is use the words in context and make sure it is appropriate within the dynamics set forth in the relationship. I appreciate how everyone has expressed how they handle the "hot shots" in their relationship.

I will admit the first time i used the word "babydoll" to a Dominant, they like thorns, questioned the reason...after He realized it was an endearing word of adoration...babydoll was hesitantly approved...but in all honesty "dearheart" and "Sir" feels so much more appropriate.

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 12:55:14 PM

Darthbetta

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sure thing there shugarbritches.... you are my sweet cake.

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 1:21:53 PM

willing2serve

Posts: 381
Joined: 4/6/2004
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quote:

sure thing there shugarbritches.... you are my sweet cake.

Darth, you are my favorite buckethead boy... wink wink flirt flirt

< Message edited by willing2serve -- 2/27/2005 1:23:56 PM >

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/27/2005 3:57:10 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 1466
Joined: 12/3/2004
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If I don't like the name then I'll tell them to change it. I myself don't like being called Baby, Daddy, Bozoe, nor Turkey Butt.

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/28/2005 9:04:01 AM

MidnightWriter

Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
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That would depend entirely upon tone of voice and the occasion, but I generally don't take offense where it's not intended.

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RE: Hot Shot? - 2/28/2005 10:07:13 AM

sanita

Posts: 328
Joined: 1/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darthbetta

sure thing there shugarbritches.... you are my sweet cake.

*lollollol* years ago, Master worked at a donut shop, and would come home from work with His jeans so stiff from the glaze that they would stand up on their own. i called Him "SugarBritches" on a regular basis.

Your post made me laugh so hard. *grin* love Your sense of humour, oh Bucketed One.

_____________________________

Sometimes, He calls me "subbie." Sometimes, i call me "subbie." And if someone wants to call me a BBW, its flattering. Just don't call me false.

"Please do not show me your ass and expect me to read your mind." -Opencollar

(in reply to Darthbetta)

Post #: 15

RE: Hot Shot? - 2/28/2005 10:44:18 AM

Voltare

Posts: 467
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

This is actually pretty funny!

My girl and I have very similar senses of humor. I often call her 'cunt, bitch, slut, whore' even in common situations. She regularly calls me 'asshole, bastard, fucker' and any number of other explanatives. It's a joke between us, and it makes us laugh all the time.

We also have our times when other names are used, she often calls me (affectionately) a caveman, or big hairy man, etc. Again, this falls into the 'whatever works for you' catagory.

Stephan

_____________________________

[GEEK] Me [/GEEK]
"There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness" - Nietzsche
[image]http://img2.exs.cx/img2/7251/voltare-death.gif[/image]

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Post #: 16

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