Hot Shot? (Full Version)

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willing2serve -> Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 3:37:31 AM)

Do you consider it a sign of disrespect or demeaning authority for a submissive to use endearing names for their Dominant such as, "babydoll", "darlin", "hot shot", etc..?

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1



perseus7 -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 3:43:43 AM)

That is a tough call, as it can not always seen a sign of respect. I would argue a wide lattitude can be given to private moments. Also it may help if one is masquerading as an "average vanilla" couple in social events. I would argue that such public display of affection in lifestyle events could be miscontrued as disrespect and should be avoided in those events.

Perseus7



topcat -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 5:03:23 AM)

Midear Willing-

outside of a few ritualised exchanges, I don't even require 'Sir'- I let it be known that I like it, and if she has the desire to please me, I'll hopefully hear it now and again. There are some times and situtions where I might find 'hun' or 'baby' or the like inapropriate, but unless it was a strictly SM relationship (that is, one that wasn't a componet of romantic relationship), I'd likely accept it as a token of affection

Stay warm,

Lawrence



Moleculor -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 7:22:53 AM)

I'm "Bob".



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 8:55:24 AM)

If the owner allows it, it's fine.

Naming eachother is a sign of solidarity and connectedness. Many Ds relationships involve love. I call the Owner by his name often, or when referencing him to other people. It can get confusing with an entire convention calling "sir!" or "master!" all the time.

It's not about the name, it's about the meaning. I know a sub who calls her dom "MasterMuffin" and they enjoy it thoroughly.



MrThorns -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 9:22:18 AM)

I think that certain "alternate" names can be considered disrespectful, but it really depends on the context in which it is used. I have absolutely no problems being called "...fucking bastard..." during a scene, but would probably take some offense if it were said to me while out shopping with my girl.

I'll admit that I would probably be taken aback if she referred to me as "sweetie" or "loverhoneysnugglemuffin" and would question the reference, (as I can't imagine such things ever coming out of her mouth..) but I don't think I would consider it disrespectful.

~Thorns



BeachMystress -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 9:41:44 AM)


Context please. If you do it in the middle of a scene, it is inappropriate. If you do it with a strange Dominant, it is inappropriate. If your Dominant expresses that they do not like pet names and you're to always call them by a certain title every time you address them, it is inappropriate. Otherwise, I don't see the problem with it as long as your behavior and tone are respectful or loving. My sub calls me Ma'am at all times of his own volition. It is not only his title for me; it is his pet name for me. Sometimes in a very intimate moment he will call me baby. That has happened a total of four times. I've found it sweet every time he's done it, as it was an appropriate time and place.



sanita -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 10:02:20 AM)

i, too, think it is something that depends on the One being addressed.

i thought about it when i read your question. most of the time, i address my Master as "Master," sometimes i use His name, and i have been known to address Him as "Cutie Pie, Sweetie Darling" or the like, but never when it is more than a little good natured teasing.

as friends, before we were able to be together, i often referred to Him as "Sweet," so He still answers to that. thought He does say He is not sure how sweet He actually is.

also, so there is no question about how seriously i take Him as Dominant, quite often, that string of descriptive endearments is followed by "Badass."

my Sweet-Cutie-Pie-Badass does not seem to have a problem with it. However, i am NOT to call Him "Baby," and i am especially not to tell Him "Poor Baby," unless given explicit permission.

i don't mean it as any sort of disrespect. it is a way of me showing how much i adore Him. it is playful, and endearing, and if we are in chat, and other Doms rib Him about it, He laughs as One who is secure in his masculinity.

and really, when He has me pinned down and is growling with that feral look in His eyes... ummmmmmmm, all i can usually think to say to Him, is "Yours."



perverseangelic -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 10:11:05 AM)

Well, I call my partner my "boy." It comes from before we took power exchange seriously, but it does confuse a lot of people.

We go by "boy" and "girl" a lot, to each other and to some of our friends. I dunno...it's a diminuative, but it's also something we've adopted into our lexicon as a term of love for each other. It's nice.

It -does- tend to make people do a double take, especially when I'm on alt chat.



willing2serve -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 12:52:18 PM)

quote:

also, so there is no question about how seriously i take Him as Dominant,....
i don't mean it as any sort of disrespect. it is a way of me showing how much i adore Him. it is playful, and endearing....
and really, when He has me pinned down and is growling with that feral look in His eyes... ummmmmmmm, all i can usually think to say to Him, is "Yours."


I can completely understand this. And I think the general consensus is use the words in context and make sure it is appropriate within the dynamics set forth in the relationship. I appreciate how everyone has expressed how they handle the "hot shots" in their relationship.

I will admit the first time i used the word "babydoll" to a Dominant, they like thorns, questioned the reason...after He realized it was an endearing word of adoration...babydoll was hesitantly approved...but in all honesty "dearheart" and "Sir" feels so much more appropriate.

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1



Darthbetta -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 12:55:14 PM)

sure thing there shugarbritches.... you are my sweet cake. [;)]



willing2serve -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 1:21:53 PM)

quote:

sure thing there shugarbritches.... you are my sweet cake.



Darth, you are my favorite buckethead boy...[:D] wink wink flirt flirt [;)]



FangsNfeet -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/27/2005 3:57:10 PM)

If I don't like the name then I'll tell them to change it. I myself don't like being called Baby, Daddy, Bozoe, nor Turkey Butt.



MidnightWriter -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/28/2005 9:04:01 AM)

That would depend entirely upon tone of voice and the occasion, but I generally don't take offense where it's not intended.




sanita -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/28/2005 10:07:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Darthbetta

sure thing there shugarbritches.... you are my sweet cake. [;)]


*lollollol* years ago, Master worked at a donut shop, and would come home from work with His jeans so stiff from the glaze that they would stand up on their own. i called Him "SugarBritches" on a regular basis.

Your post made me laugh so hard. *grin* love Your sense of humour, oh Bucketed One.



Voltare -> RE: Hot Shot? (2/28/2005 10:44:18 AM)

This is actually pretty funny!

My girl and I have very similar senses of humor. I often call her 'cunt, bitch, slut, whore' even in common situations. She regularly calls me 'asshole, bastard, fucker' and any number of other explanatives. It's a joke between us, and it makes us laugh all the time.

We also have our times when other names are used, she often calls me (affectionately) a caveman, or big hairy man, etc. Again, this falls into the 'whatever works for you' catagory.

Stephan



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