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validation.... - 2/17/2006 10:48:57 AM   
LadyElizabeth


Posts: 53
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline 		Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?


< Message edited by LadyElizabeth -- 2/17/2006 11:18:01 AM >

_____________________________

Judge not lest ye be judged.

I do have a profile, for some reason you have to actually search my name from cm's main page. I have no idea why, that's just the way it is. lol.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 10:59:51 AM   
jimej6


Posts: 31
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline 		i think every one does in one form or another we are socal animals after all. RP

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 11:18:22 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 703
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?


No.

Celeste

_____________________________

I wasn't there. I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. I wanna lawyer!

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 11:22:55 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 2651
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Support and perspective? Absolutely, that's what friends and loved ones are all about.

Validation? No.

For many people however, the answer is yes. Just see how many posts we get on asking "I do this...does anyone else do this? I want to make sure I'm not the only one"

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 12:33:41 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 633
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..


No. I've found over the years that I have very little in common with most other subs and/or slaves, and NO need to seek their advice or approval.

_____________________________

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 1:07:38 PM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 534
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?



Yes all the time in both areas. However, like L.A. states that alot want validation. "I do this...does anyone else do this? I want to make sure I'm not the only one" i do want validation but i think not to do what they say is ok or acceptable but to more use it as a way to get me to think. i think it makes me reflect on my actions more than anything. i dunno, am i making any sense here? LOL!!!

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 1:09:51 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 721
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline 		No i dont look to other subs/slaves for validation..but i know i do look to Master for it.

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 1:10:58 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 1767
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?



As LA stated, for support yes, but validation...absolutly not.


_____________________________

"I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life"
Daryl Worley

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 1:42:12 PM   
sweetnessforsir


Posts: 19
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline 		yes for support.

yes for validation . . . . but not blindly because they are submissive. those who become supportive friends, and this is not different than the friends made on the playground in fifth grade when boys were beginning to become less yucky, they often see things clearly that i miss. i think friends generally do validate me in come way or another.

s

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 2:12:44 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 337
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

No i dont look to other subs/slaves for validation..but i know i do look to Master for it.



Me too. I have some wonderful submissive friends that I get support from and I value that more then I can say. But, validation is something I want from my Sir. I know who I am and it's his opinion that matters to me.

_____________________________

~There are two kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and the strength to follow; the strength to control, and the strength to yield. There are two kinds of power: the power to strip another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked. By Yalda Tovah

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 2:38:55 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 3896
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?


I enjoy knowing that others have the same thoughts, emotions and kinks that I do, and i enjoy talking about them. Not sure if that would be considered validation or support, but it does help keep me sane.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .


(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 3:21:04 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 403
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Support for sure but validation no i don't need that from others i get that within myself.

Matt's littleone


(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 4:10:36 PM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 534
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		ya know what i'm thinking, is maybe the ones that seek validation (not for the reasons that i do) is because they're newbies and may not have a Master or they just dont know what to do period.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 4:22:59 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 1767
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

ya know what i'm thinking, is maybe the ones that seek validation (not for the reasons that i do) is because they're newbies and may not have a Master or they just dont know what to do period.


Yes, but would that not be more for acceptance.

I would think that if someone is looking for validation...then they are looking to have someone say outright 'what you are doing is right, keep on doing it', where as support would fall more in the area of 'I understand what you are doing and it's ok to keep doing it if that is what you want"

_____________________________

"I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life"
Daryl Worley

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 6:57:42 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 1850
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?



he has sought and he has known...
he has sought and he has known...
he found Me and now he knows...
his validation is Me and what W/we have

a submissive without a Dominant is nothing more than a person seeking--as a Dominant is nothing more without a submissive than a person seeking---to seek validation from other subs is IMHO like asking "does this make me look fat?"


_____________________________

"I would rather 30 seconds of something wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." Steel Magnolias

Mistress Hathor

Proud owner of subtoFemDommes--who is known as Her private label in training.

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 7:55:15 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 1386
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		validation?...Hell, I'm looking for consumation...stop confusing me.

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 9:47:11 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 1161
Joined: 3/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:


Newbie




Posts: 53
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?


Hummmm...I am starting to want to bargain for 10%.

*Brightspot

_____________________________

*Brightspot

"Cheer Up! The worst is yet to come" ~Philander Johnson

"Common sense is very uncommon" ~Horace Greeley

"Words are the most Powerful Drug of Mankind." ~Kiplin

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: validation.... - 2/17/2006 11:34:42 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 688
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		No. i turn to a couple very close friends to bounce thoughts and feelings off of from time to time. It helps me process.

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: validation.... - 2/18/2006 2:27:07 AM   
mystiquenz


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

Do you look to other sub/slaves, for support and/or validation?..Is the 'need to please' others tied in with the need for validation?


in reply LadyElizabeth, there appears to be a variety of opinion. Maybe it's nice to know that we can all be individuals, but when we associate with others, at a munch or a play party, there is a sense of belonging. As one other girl posted, she gets her validation from her Master, and surely that is all that matters. I know I enjoy the companionship and friendship of others, locally, but I do not seek their approval or validation. Just merely acceptance and reciprocated friendship.

I am wondering why you asked this question.

_____________________________

blessings
~mystique~

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 19
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