poly funnies

Join Our Community

As the Collar Turns:

Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home Login Event Calendars Search

poly funnies

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Polyamorous Lifestyles >> poly funnies

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

poly funnies - 4/24/2005 6:12:00 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 3240
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Montréal - Canada
Status: offline

I think it's funny how some people react to poly lifestyle. I can understand when you shock the general masses, but then I get surprised when you shock the perverts.

Here is my anecdote from this afternoon. I share because I find it funny and hoping people will feel like sharing other funny poly stories.

I was talking a walk with my boy today, when we decided to step into a specialty condom boutique. The sales woman approached us and engaged us in a conversation, showing us some condoms and describing their advantages. She took a super thin ones and showed it to my boy saying how wonderfully thin it was and how it was a huge seller. "Not huge enough though" was my boy’s response. He indicated that he tried them and has a box with 11 left as they were too small for him. Of course, the sales woman immediately glanced down at his crotch <weg>.

We looked around some more and I ended up buying regular ones. The truth is that I have a bunch of the large, but not all men being that large, I need some regular ones.

When I got to the cash, the sales woman said: "Oh! Those won't fit him he said". So I looked at her and smiled and said softly: "Oh I know. These are for my other lover. " My boy just cracked right up. The sales woman looked so startled and just shuffled the condoms into the bag.

My boy’s comment when we exited was that he didn’t expect a woman working in a condom shop to be such a prude.

Isn’t wild how even within the realm of non-conventional sexual practices, there is still practices that are even more fringe. I guess I’m so open-minded that I get taken aback when open-minded people aren’t fully open-minded.

- LA

_____________________________

An iron hand in a velvet glove.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: poly funnies - 4/25/2005 5:06:03 AM

ansfrid

Posts: 24
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline

I find the best thing to do, is to be blunt, but not sensationalist. I don't try to shock, but I definitely don't try to hide.

My best moment was 2 years ago. I was in a play, 9 shows in a 1000 seat theatre. In the program, I wrote for my bio, something to the effect of "Michael would like to thank his wife ***** and his girlfriend *******, for their love and understanding while he was away at rehearsals, be back soon girls". I figured they both sacrificed a lot to allow me to be in the play, they should be thanked. It got some comments, both veiled negative, and some positive, but I wasn't about to hide either.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: poly funnies - 4/25/2005 4:33:26 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 3240
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Montréal - Canada
Status: offline

quote:

I find the best thing to do, is to be blunt, but not sensationalist. I don't try to shock, but I definitely don't try to hide.

Well I don't see what was sensationalist about my story. I was simply clarifying a situation. She had given me information, I noted that information. She repeated it. I confirmed that I understood and I clarified. It's not like I went in there with the dick size of all my lovers looking for a perfect fit ;)

I'm very discreet in fact in all aspects of my life. I was simply taken aback that in a sex shop, someone would be taken aback that I had more then one lover.

- LA

_____________________________

An iron hand in a velvet glove.

(in reply to ansfrid)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: poly funnies - 4/26/2005 4:35:11 PM

ansfrid

Posts: 24
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline

no no, I wasn't saying you were being sensationalist, I was just describing my approach.

edit: To be clear, I would have handled it the same way.

< Message edited by ansfrid -- 4/26/2005 4:36:29 PM >

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: poly funnies - 4/26/2005 5:54:42 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 3240
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Montréal - Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ansfrid

no no, I wasn't saying you were being sensationalist, I was just describing my approach.

edit: To be clear, I would have handled it the same way.

Oh! Ok then :) Fiou! I was wondering how I could have been more discreet ;)

- LA

_____________________________

An iron hand in a velvet glove.

(in reply to ansfrid)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: poly funnies - 9/2/2005 8:35:23 PM

scared

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/13/2005
Status: offline

A year ago I was wearing a ring I got from my dad that only fits my wedding finger at work.
Someone noticed the picture of my gf (who was married to someone else) on my desk and commented "oh is that your wife?"
"no, that's my girlfriend."
(they look at the ring) "oh, I thought you were married"
"no, I'm not married, she is..."
<jaws drop all around then they start laughing>
"but don't worry, I asked her husband"

I figure if I start making jokes now, when I do accidentally slip I'll be okay.

Now that I'm married, I make jokes about going over to the girlfriend's house too :)

*everything is dangerous if you're stupid*

scared

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: poly funnies - 9/3/2005 4:46:41 AM

Manawyddan

Posts: 212
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
Status: offline

I'm just out at work. I have photos of my wife on the wall of my cubicle, and a photo of my girlfriend on my desktop.

_____________________________

_______________________________________________
"She always had a terrific sense of humor"
(Valerie Solonas, as described by her mother)
_______________________________________________

(in reply to scared)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: poly funnies - 9/6/2005 9:40:55 AM

Nuke718

Posts: 216
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

First, LA you weren't sensationalist. You simply correcter her misconception.

As a non-poly, I don;t have any funnies to share, sorry. But I do have an observation. There is plenty of people in the greater OL/RL community who will judge you because your kinks aren't theirs. It's not exactly news to anybody here. But In my experience you Poly folks get an unusally large amount of that. Hell just the word will scare away people willing to be hung from the ceiling by chains.

Anway nice thread. And for those that don't understand you, go home and have a quick snog in their name LoL.

Nuke }:-

(in reply to Manawyddan)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: poly funnies - 9/7/2005 9:10:27 AM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 254
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline

I was looking forward to this thread taking off. I know there are a lot of funny anecdotes about poly folks and people understanding them or not. I love seeing the "Aha!" moments in people's eyes when they finally understand.

Personally, I think I'm just pretty old and accepting. We're poly. We've been "Out" for so long that there aren't many people around that question it, react oddly, or even care. Our banks, realtors, mortgage brokers, insurance agent and doctors all know and there's little response anymore. (I guess when you've got 10-15 years under your belt, all of the gossip-value is worn off?)

One semi-recent moment we did have was with a new intake person at the local hospital. The old ones all know about us and don't question it. (Fer cripes sake, BOTH of my husbands names are on my Emergency Contact list, and both list them as "Relationship: Spouse".) This new gal stopped her questioning for a bit, hummed and hawed, and then look at the one next to me and asked what his name was. She seemed releived once she had a name, and things started to click.
Nurse: "Any you are?"
S: "I'm S"
Nurse: "and you are her?"
S: "Husband"
Nurse: *Looks through paperwork*
"and who is D?"
S: "Her other husband"

The Nurse was amusing, but I think I got more out of the fact that after 10 years, my ever-so-shy S had no problem saying this to another persons face. He's always been the shy one and didn't care that he left our some data points when people asked too many questions. This time, he was very bold. I was proud.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: poly funnies - 9/7/2005 11:45:01 PM

MistressGrace07

Posts: 95
Joined: 7/29/2005
From: Chicago
Status: offline

chuckles.. I love doing things like that to people who *should* be a bit more... well enlightened?

I was out to lunch with one boy.... and the waiter asked if I wanted desert...

I said, "only if it's you darlin'".

_____________________________

My Journal

"Let me make this as monosyllabic as possible" - Captain Amelia in "Treasure Planet"

Lady of Grace for nichole, michael, jack and anne

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: poly funnies - 9/18/2005 7:09:49 AM

teapaw

Posts: 97
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

ITs very funny how people respond to poly. My previous Master, sister slave and I went to buy a bigger bed. A queen size water bed is just too small for three people who like to stretch out while sleeping. We stopped at a sleep number bed store in the mall. We all hopped up on the display bed, an Eastern King, turning a tossing, making room for my cat etc..The salesman look a little concerned but asked us if he could help. We told him that we were looking for a bed for three and a large cat. His jaw just dropped, we all looked so serious, then he laughed. The other slaes people were just socked at all the touching (touching each others hair, small kisses and casual hugs) we were displaying in the excitment of having a new bed. They were whispering behind their hands with each other or out right staring. We asked for the biggest bed they have and precided to buy the Grand King (300$ but worth the 81/2ft width woo hoo). We were his best customer all year, hell since the sheets themselves are 200$ a set..LOL
It was a blast!..We laughed all the way home.

Pamela

_____________________________

"get a taste of reiligion ...lick a witch"

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: poly funnies - 9/18/2005 9:51:19 AM

krazysubbiekat

Posts: 145
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline

I was in a non-BDSM polyamorous relationship several years ago in which I was intimate with a man and his wife. The three of us went to shop for some lingerie items for the two of us girls. While we were in the dressing rooms, this conversation went on in the storefront.

Him: (to a salesgirl) Will you go ask my wife if she needs a smaller size?

Salesgirl: Sure...(confusedly) which one is your wife?

Him: The redhead.

Salesgirl: Okay be right back...(went back to the dressing room)

About this time, I walk out of the dressing room and cuddle up to him whispering things in his ear. The salegirl come back.

Salesgirl: She says she is fine Sir. (notices me wrapped in his arms) Sir! What would your wife think?

Him: (looking at her innocently) Why wasn't she invited?

The three of us went home and enjoyed a good laugh and a good fashion show. <weg>

_____________________________

"Treat every day like it is a gift. Unwrap it and then wrap your arms around it; it will surprise and intrigue you." --N. Elchibini

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 12