cash deposit for chastity

cash deposit for chastity (Full Version)

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hereyesruponyou -> cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 5:55:31 AM)
Background: I am looking to specifically explore chastity with one sub. Originally the sub i had in mind had his own device, but since that did not work out i am now looking for someone to fill a brand new i own. Due to my location, it looks very likely that the person i choose will be about 2 hours away. Because of this we will get together only weekends, etc... Not a problem for the chastity aspect in itself, however, i find that i am not feeling altogether trusting of the people i have had applying for the position. I think this is one of those cases where trust would develop more over time, but since we both want this aspect the most, i'm not sure there is another way to get to the point i am willing to trust someone i don't know very well with an expensive piece of equipment. Question: Do you feel it would be appropriate to ask for a cash deposit to be give at the time the device is put in place? The reason i was thinking a cash deposit is that it can be sealed in an envelope along with his pledge and make that a part of the ceremony and symbolism so that the envelope will be exchanged originally for the device, and then exchanged again if service is ended. It wouldn't matter then if it is a week, a month or ten years. The money is symbolic, unless he disappears on me, then it can be used to purchase a replacement. Thanks for input from all sides

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 5:58:31 AM)
You may consider having him purchase the device in question - that way if he does a runner, you're not out an expensive piece of equipment. Alternatively, since cash is such a touchy subject - how about some other type of collateral? I do understand what you're saying though - toys are expensive and not always easily replaceable, and I think particularly when meeting someone online, building trust takes quite a bit of time. I wouldn't loan out one of my single tails or floggers to someone I barely knew. Heck, I even have a hard time loaning out my rarer kink books to good friends because I've haven't had them returned, and it was difficult/expensive to replace them.

SirDominic -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 6:02:30 AM)
Your idea, though logical, it probably not practical. By asking for cash, you are saying, essentially, that he is guilty until proven innocent. At least that is how he will see it. I think Sonnet's solution was excellent. Get him to buy his own for you to use. Namaste, Sir Dominic

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 6:05:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou Question: Do you feel it would be appropriate to ask for a cash deposit to be give at the time the device is put in place? I think it is. You bought it and you want to use it on someone you don't have a full relationship with yet. Makes fiscal sense to me.

Invictus754 -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 6:08:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou Background: I am looking to specifically explore chastity with one sub. Originally the sub i had in mind had his own device, but since that did not work out i am now looking for someone to fill a brand new i own. Due to my location, it looks very likely that the person i choose will be about 2 hours away. Because of this we will get together only weekends, etc... Not a problem for the chastity aspect in itself, however, i find that i am not feeling altogether trusting of the people i have had applying for the position. I think this is one of those cases where trust would develop more over time, but since we both want this aspect the most, i'm not sure there is another way to get to the point i am willing to trust someone i don't know very well with an expensive piece of equipment. Question: Do you feel it would be appropriate to ask for a cash deposit to be give at the time the device is put in place? The reason i was thinking a cash deposit is that it can be sealed in an envelope along with his pledge and make that a part of the ceremony and symbolism so that the envelope will be exchanged originally for the device, and then exchanged again if service is ended. It wouldn't matter then if it is a week, a month or ten years. The money is symbolic, unless he disappears on me, then it can be used to purchase a replacement. Thanks for input from all sides I don't think asking for cash is a good way to start a relationship, even if they are submissive. Unless the sub has an extra $200.00 he is willing to just let sit in an envelope for months or years, you may not get many who will gladly do it - and if things get ugly, a good lawyer may find a way to work it against you. If you aren't solvent enough to take the monetary hit if he walks away with it still attached, I would suggest not using it. Have you thought of a couple of leather straps, small locks and a tin can? [:D]

LadyEllen -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 6:17:28 AM)
It makes sense to me, though I would be very careful as some bright spark might be able to demonstrate that it falls into the area of offering sexual services for payment. A way around this might be to treat it as purely a deposit on equipment hire, with the hire rate being zero per day - and not put in writing at all what the person in question does with the equipment, suffice that it is returned within a specified period stated in the hire agreement. Alternatively, you could treat it as a straight sale to the person in question, with the same caveat that what its used for is none of your business, but with the condition that you may purchase it back at sale price should the person wish to sell it. This is a better solution from the point of view of possible legal repercussions I'd say. E

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 6:28:14 AM)
I think if you flip through the Ask a Sub and Ask a Mistress sections, you'll typically find at least one thread about no shows or subs that disappear after a meeting or two even when everything seems just fine - it's a common phenom. It's a valid concern that the sub may in fact take off, and with an expensive piece of equipment to boot. Interestingly, dominants often seem to be seen as having limitless supplies of toys and funds to buy them. The issue is not so much to do with solvency, but rather not wanting to have to pay to replace something that is essentially "stolen" by the sub who does a runner.

Stranger1 -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 6:59:21 AM)
It's best for a Top never to give levers to a sub. Make him purchase the device for his own use-I'd avoid keeping something he could sue you for.

hereyesruponyou -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 7:07:01 AM)
Thanks for the comments so far. I am talking totally deposit for equipment only. If the device was ever removed, it wouldn't matter to me if it were in a month, a year, or several years, he would get the FULL amount back. And if it ever got broken after we had a real relationship established, the money would be there to purchase a replacement item. Having him purchase his own device kinda defeats the purpose of using the brand new one i have sitting here. I see it more as a deterent to just skipping out and doing a poof.

Stranger1 -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 7:08:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou Thanks for the comments so far. I am talking totally deposit for equipment only. If the device was ever removed, it wouldn't matter to me if it were in a month, a year, or several years, he would get the FULL amount back. And if it ever got broken after we had a real relationship established, the money would be there to purchase a replacement item. Having him purchase his own device kinda defeats the purpose of using the brand new one i have sitting here. I see it more as a deterent to just skipping out and doing a poof. As you wish,you trust him that little?

MasterFireMaam -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 10:27:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou Thanks for the comments so far. I am talking totally deposit for equipment only. If the device was ever removed, it wouldn't matter to me if it were in a month, a year, or several years, he would get the FULL amount back. And if it ever got broken after we had a real relationship established, the money would be there to purchase a replacement item. Having him purchase his own device kinda defeats the purpose of using the brand new one i have sitting here. I see it more as a deterent to just skipping out and doing a poof. The device you had may not fit the man you choose. What then? I'd wait until you DID find someone you felt you could trust, then shop together. This way, you find something that definately fits, is comfortable and safe for long term wear and that both of you like. You'll also then be able to better judge who should pay for it. I know that doesn't fulfill the desire to "use the new toy", but if you're letting that desire rule your choices, be prepared that you could very well make a poor choice. Master Fire

MsKatHouston -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 10:37:03 AM)
Trust goes both ways and I fear you may reach an impasse when he wonders at how trustworthy you are with his $200.00. Maybe you got the toy as a gift and if he leaves you'd actually be up a few hundred. I don't think you are doing that but if no trust is established yet on your end, there probably isn't any on his either. I'm with the camp that is saying to wait until you do find someone you can trust. Maybe even a contract staing that it is on loan and is your property so that if you want to take it back you have proof of ownership. The second best alternative I have seen would be to outright sell it to him. That way you have your money and he has his new toy he can take to another mistress if that occurs. The ownership of the item transfers immediately to him.

Devilslilsister -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 10:47:12 AM)
aye well if its a good chastity, whoever wont be able to take it off....... me thinks keeping the key is a good deposit!

MsKatHouston -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 11:15:16 AM)
LOL and then she can call him up from time to time and talk dirty to him, ending in a "neener neener neener...you can't do anything abouuuttttt ittttt...I'll stop calling when you bring me my CD back"

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 11:44:33 AM)
OOOHHH the inhumanity of it.

hereyesruponyou -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 2:22:51 PM)
ahhhhh, if it were only that easy....anything can be removed with the right tools (or so i have been told)! I think i am probably just getting frustrated right now with not getting the follow through i am expecting from the people i am chatting with online. So far i haven't even gotten one to show up for a meeting. much less one to go any farther than that. There is a HUGE part of me that wants to believe the real thing is out there, but then again there is another part that just has such huge doubts. I have a great partner/lover/friend now, so i am not feeling desperate to move on this, he's just not interested in chastity and i have wanted to explore this for a long time. Will work on my patience a bit more. Which will likely lead to being called fake again. sighhhhhhhhhh

Najakcharmer -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 5:23:13 PM)
So, he simply pays for the device that goes home with him, with the understanding that you may (and are willing to) buy it back for the same amount if the situation ends. That's not really a deposit, he's just assuming full responsibility for the toy that he'll be wearing and keeping.

Griswold -> RE: cash deposit for chastity (5/1/2007 6:35:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou Background: I am looking to specifically explore chastity with one sub. Originally the sub i had in mind had his own device, but since that did not work out i am now looking for someone to fill a brand new i own. Due to my location, it looks very likely that the person i choose will be about 2 hours away. Because of this we will get together only weekends, etc... Not a problem for the chastity aspect in itself, however, i find that i am not feeling altogether trusting of the people i have had applying for the position. I think this is one of those cases where trust would develop more over time, but since we both want this aspect the most, i'm not sure there is another way to get to the point i am willing to trust someone i don't know very well with an expensive piece of equipment. Question: Do you feel it would be appropriate to ask for a cash deposit to be give at the time the device is put in place? The reason i was thinking a cash deposit is that it can be sealed in an envelope along with his pledge and make that a part of the ceremony and symbolism so that the envelope will be exchanged originally for the device, and then exchanged again if service is ended. It wouldn't matter then if it is a week, a month or ten years. The money is symbolic, unless he disappears on me, then it can be used to purchase a replacement. Thanks for input from all sides I would answer that, however due to your distance from me, I require a cash deposit to answer such questions.

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