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Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 4:45:35 PM   
Hanable


Posts: 3284
Joined: 3/19/2007
From: BFE ohio
Status: offline 		ok.. a random general question...

How long would u wait to meet ur master/dom(me) or slave/sub/pet/toy in RT?

Where would you first meet with the abouve said person?

these question has been on my mind for a while.. and i keep forgetting to ask them. just asking for future reference.

H >:)

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 4:49:07 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Many times, that same day (of the initial contact).  This last time, 11 days (but there was a few hundred miles distance to plan for).

Meeting places are generally in a public place, but at one or another's home is acceptable if it feels comfortable.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 4:51:31 PM   
Stazia


Posts: 49
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		well i would wait till you feel comfortable, and as to where ALWAYS first meet in a public place, and it would be wise to have a friend know where you are and what you are doing (if they are vanilla friends just tell them you are meeting someone off of one of the nilla dating sites if you dont feel comfortable telling them about your intrest in bdsm) have a preset "check-in" time with said friend so that if something bad does happen it would be known fairly quickly rather than days later... 

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:03:39 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		For me it used to depend upon the vibe I got from the person.  Generally from month's to years waiting prior.
With my current dom it was 3 month's.  He was the quickest I had ever met in person.

Also a very populated public place.  We met in the middle of a grocery store.

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:07:22 PM   
Hanable


Posts: 3284
Joined: 3/19/2007
From: BFE ohio
Status: offline 		thnc u for ur opinions.. i think same day is a lil soon.. and a year is to long.. i go on vibe usually... but idk.. its hard to tell for ppl u meet on the net.

H >:)

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:21:00 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Asap.... If you talk to someone off of this damn thang and they seem cool and there is a positive vibe flowing...She enjoys the beach...You enjoy the beach...she loves anal, you dig anal....I try to take it to real time quickly just simply 'cuz I roll like that.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 4/29/2007 5:27:14 PM >

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:25:10 PM   
Viciousbabe


Posts: 61
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		Generally, I go with the vibe I get from some one. Usually I will meet them at some where like a mall; if I meet them some where a little less public, I make sure a friend comes with me.

A good bit of advice is to talk on the phone for awhile before meeting the person. It is easier to get a feel for how people will act/react when you hear it in their voice.

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:33:51 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline 		2-4 weeks. I would meet in a very public place (malls seem good.) I usually bring a kink-savvy associate with me on the first meeting. It provides a level of safety and assures my potential date that I am NOT giving him sex on the first date.

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"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:41:02 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

2-4 weeks. I would meet in a very public place (malls seem good.) I usually bring a kink-savvy associate with me on the first meeting. It provides a level of safety and assures my potential date that I am NOT giving him sex on the first date.


I don't think I would groove to the idea of meeting someone who was bringing a friend unless it was discussed I would be tapping'em both.

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:44:48 PM   
opensoul


Posts: 77
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline 		 I agree with some waiting till you feel it is right and you feel safe. Public is a must for the first few meetings and always have someone know you are out with someone new and need a person to checkup on you. Going out and not making sure about a no sex first meeting is way too dangerous in todays world. IMO 

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:45:30 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hanable

i think same day is a lil soon.. its hard to tell for ppl u meet on the net.



I think in all but one or two cases, the people I met the first day all made it home that night safe and sound.  And I think THOSE were the people who bothered with safe calls.  Most don't.  Personally, I know 'safety rules' and all, but I couldn't possibly imagine such a thing.

Flame away.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:48:05 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

2-4 weeks. I would meet in a very public place (malls seem good.) I usually bring a kink-savvy associate with me on the first meeting. It provides a level of safety and assures my potential date that I am NOT giving him sex on the first date.


I don't think I would groove to the idea of meeting someone who was bringing a friend unless it was discussed I would be tapping'em both.


Well the friend I usually bring is a gay dude, but I'll see if he's up for it.


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to domiguy)
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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:49:58 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hanable

ok.. a random general question...

How long would u wait to meet ur master/dom(me) or slave/sub/pet/toy in RT?

Where would you first meet with the abouve said person?

these question has been on my mind for a while.. and i keep forgetting to ask them. just asking for future reference.

H >:)


You referred to them as "ur master/dom(me) or slave/sub/pet/toy "  so i assume you are talking about people who you have interacted with for some length of time beforhand on the internet.  Personally i would never call someone "my dom" unless i had a rt relationship going with them. i prefer to meet someone within a month of online contact simply because i don't prefer to waste a lot of time online pursuing something that's not going to go anywhere.  You won't really know how things will work out till you have that first face to face meeting.  Why invest months and months if the chemistry isn't there rt?

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:54:13 PM   
Hanable


Posts: 3284
Joined: 3/19/2007
From: BFE ohio
Status: offline 		idk if id take a friend.. kinky or not.. but id have my phone to call and check in at the least. rules r ok.. but sometimes there to much.

H >:)

_____________________________

Will you be my hooker??


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Fate: a horribly wonderful thing

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:57:35 PM   
MasterGremlin


Posts: 230
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline 		Master and I initially met online and lived over 1000 miles away from each other.  He flew up to meet me after about 2 1/2 months.  My sister sub W/we met here online in February.  W/we met her in person only about a week or so later. 

I think it just really depends on how comfortable you feel about the person you have been talking to. 

Sincerely,
minxy

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:58:37 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hanable

idk if id take a friend.. kinky or not.. but id have my phone to call and check in at the least. rules r ok.. but sometimes there to much.

H >:)


The important thing is to do what you're comfortable with. I've learned that bringing a friend drives home the point that you're looking for something more than sex. And if he objects to something that is important to me feeling safe, then that gives me 2nd thoughts about his intentions.

But then again I do a lot of weird things with new people, like having them talk to my previous Master. I figure I'm going to check his references and he *should* want to check mine..if he's unwilling to speak with my exMaster (who I also consider my "protector") , then that's a red flag to me.I feel that someone serious about the lifestyle should want to find out as much as possible about the sub/bottom he's dealing with and no one could tell him more about me than my ex.


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to Hanable)
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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 5:59:47 PM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hanable

ok.. a random general question...

How long would u wait to meet ur master/dom(me) or slave/sub/pet/toy in RT?

Where would you first meet with the abouve said person?

these question has been on my mind for a while.. and i keep forgetting to ask them. just asking for future reference.

H >:)


You referred to them as "ur master/dom(me) or slave/sub/pet/toy "  so i assume you are talking about people who you have interacted with for some length of time beforhand on the internet.  Personally i would never call someone "my dom" unless i had a rt relationship going with them. i prefer to meet someone within a month of online contact simply because i don't prefer to waste a lot of time online pursuing something that's not going to go anywhere.  You won't really know how things will work out till you have that first face to face meeting.  Why invest months and months if the chemistry isn't there rt?


ya... I was wondering when someone would really read the OP's second line and comment on it......
 
"ur" master/dom(me) or slave/sub/pet/toy in RT?
 
 



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With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 6:21:08 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hanable
How long would u wait to meet ur master/dom(me) or slave/sub/pet/toy in RT?

Where would you first meet with the abouve said person?


How long would I wait. Not long at all to be honest. I have met in real life the same day as the initial contact. With My current girl, she is 400 miles away and it was about two weeks from seriously looking at building something to My stepping off the train and her throwing herself into My arms at the station.

ALWAYS if at all possible meet somewhere public, a bar or cafe has been My usual choise. munches and events are OK too BUT they are social events and it can be hard to get to chat one to one, especialy if one or both is quite well known and therefore likely to get a lot of well meaning interuptions. But if interest is a little less clear then a munch is a good choise as I'm usualy going anyway and thus not going out of My way.

Even with desire, from the station I'd stated we would go to a local bar that did food. Have something to eat and a couple of drinks before deciding if we wished to go more private.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Hanable)
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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 6:22:51 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I usually meet at a nice quiet or not so quiet bar....Or a  coffee shop.....Not trying to pick on "geekygirl" but there is no way in hell I'm talking with someone's previous master .....Just another ridiculous notion like safe calls and all the rest....I value my ability to determine character and to judge a person whether there is any possibility at being compatible with one another....I often wonder how did you all function w/o all of these rediculous rules and protocols.

If it makes you happy fine...But I think most folks go on their "gut" when making decisions such as these.  And quite frankly I really don't wish to spend time with a woman who is unable to ascertain these things for herself.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 4/29/2007 6:35:45 PM >

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RE: Meeting in RT... - 4/29/2007 6:30:45 PM   
MadameButterfly


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		Very interesting topic... one that I have dealt with recently in fact...

I met a boy on here recently... we chatted for about three weeks before meeting real time... the catch is... early on in our conversations we both decided that it would be best to meet real time in order to see if there was a "connection".  paul does not reside in the same city as I do; which in some ways worked to our advantage, it does seem pointless if there is no connection... we connected intellectually .. but sometimes it takes more than that to make things work.

I think it is a personal preference and each situation differs from the next...

I think it has to do with personal representation...







(in reply to myobedience)
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