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RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 9:26:32 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

I live in a household made up of Myself, a switchy roommate who is My best friend, her 11 yr. old daughter, and My two male slaves.

I am somewhat disabled, but not helpless by any means! The other three adults work outside the home. I may not rise until noon if My pain level is high, but I take responsibility of the majority of the housework. I love cooking, and I am very organized and efficient with laundry, dishes, etc. Through the week, I expect them not to make messes when possible, and I'll do the daily chores. On Saturday morning I expect them to rise at a reasonable hour (usually 10 am) and we do deeper cleaning until noon (scouring bathrooms, dusting the higher shelves, wash cars, shampoo My six boxers, shampoo carpets, etc).

Funny how a little effort throughout the week keeps the place clean even though we are a very full and busy household...?

I was once on the phone talking to a submissive-type. He asked "what are You doing Ma'am?"
I replied, "washing up a few dishes".
He said "REAL Mistresses don't wash dishes."
I answered "I suppose real Mistresses eat off of filthy plates and then try to maintain their dignity as they vomit from ptomaine(sp?) poisoning?"
He hung up without another word.
LOL

_____________________________

Lady Kathryn
Athens, Ga.
House of Phoenix

"Nothing is ever final until you're dead - and even then I'm sure God negotiates" Anjelica Huston in Everafter

(in reply to MasterNdorei)

Post #: 21

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 9:40:27 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
However, I must confess I have a hard time imagining this. Perhaps it that I am Southern and most of the people in the lifestyle who I've interacted with are Southern. Every play party I've attended was thrown by either a male dominant or a male dom/fem sub couple who took care of everything. Even when I've stayed much later then the other guests to let my mind clear up or just chit-chat, I've never been asked to clean anything. Heck, I've never even seen the start of clean-up.

This got me in major trouble with a couple I was owned by for a short time in NY. They celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving and entertained a couple they were friends with and I was there as well. It was quite enjoyable overall, lasted all day into the early evening.

I was majorly chastised the next day for not cleaning up after everyone had eaten. This shocked me as I was always taught that you only clean when guests are around if you want to signal that it's getting very late and time for people to go home, but otherwise it's very rude to start putting your attention to cleaning their mess while they are still there. And they had given no specific instructions during the day to suggest I should be doing anything other than what I was.

But you know, when you're the slave in that situation, and you've been told you've done badly, that's all that matters. They broke it off shortly thereafter.

I got to say... that would shock me too. The only times I clean up in front of guests is when they arrive early and I'm still in the midst of last-minute touches or when (as I'm still a college student with a limited amount of dishes) I need to wash dishes or my fondue pot to move onto the next course. I've always been taught that part of being a hostess is being around to entertain and help guests interact with each other (as not every guest knows everyone). It's kinda hard to do that when you are in the kitchen up to your elbows in suds!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 22

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 9:51:09 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
I got to say... that would shock me too. The only times I clean up in front of guests is when they arrive early and I'm still in the midst of last-minute touches or when (as I'm still a college student with a limited amount of dishes) I need to wash dishes or my fondue pot to move onto the next course. I've always been taught that part of being a hostess is being around to entertain and help guests interact with each other (as not every guest knows everyone). It's kinda hard to do that when you are in the kitchen up to your elbows in suds!

I have diffrent expectations, but in LA's case the 'fault' was clearly on the part of the Dominant/s not making their expectations clear.

In My household, with My guests, she is My girl and *I* am the host. I will entratain them whilst My girl clears things away (Actualy washing them up can wait till the guests have left. I'd probably dry and put away whilst she washed them and we talked over the evenings events)

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 23

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:04:01 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well heartbreak leads to heart renewal- and I'm still addicted to the relish sausage rolls she made that day. Better than chocolate covered pretzels for a sweet/salty dish.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 24

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:12:21 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
I got to say... that would shock me too. The only times I clean up in front of guests is when they arrive early and I'm still in the midst of last-minute touches or when (as I'm still a college student with a limited amount of dishes) I need to wash dishes or my fondue pot to move onto the next course. I've always been taught that part of being a hostess is being around to entertain and help guests interact with each other (as not every guest knows everyone). It's kinda hard to do that when you are in the kitchen up to your elbows in suds!

I have diffrent expectations, but in LA's case the 'fault' was clearly on the part of the Dominant/s not making their expectations clear.

In My household, with My guests, she is My girl and *I* am the host. I will entratain them whilst My girl clears things away (Actualy washing them up can wait till the guests have left. I'd probably dry and put away whilst she washed them and we talked over the evenings events)

If that was what Valyraen wanted, I would do it of course. But it wouldn't be my natural, uninstructed course of action.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 25

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:22:46 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

Wasn't saying it is the 'way it should be done'.... just making the point that peoples expectations can differ and that the Dominant should make Theirs clear to avoid situations like LA found herself in.

In My household, *I* am the host and My girl will clear things out of the way so we are not entertaining amid the clutter of the evening... that is MY expectation and would be clear to any girl of Mine (Or serving Me that evening) before My guests arrived. If you are not clear then how can you blame the girl? Even just saying to the guests "Time to move from the table and sit more comfortably whilst My girl clears the table." Would have been clear enough to avoid the 'problem'

< Message edited by RavenMuse -- 4/25/2007 10:23:16 AM >

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 26

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:24:33 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Are there exceptions if it's an event like her own birthday party or a relative like her mothers?

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 4/25/2007 10:25:30 AM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 27

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:24:49 AM

MsVenus

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline

I live a 24/7 D/s relationship with my boi, wimpy. We are in the fortunate position where he works from home and I am office based, so he gets to do the daily household chores such as dishes, laundry, shopping etc, and also cooks the evening meal.

At weekends though I see no problem with sharing the chores - I like cooking so tend to take care of weekend meals or picnics if we go out. I also clean the bathroom and my own bedroom, and more often than not it's me that gives the living room a once over at the weekend too, whilst he takes care of the kitchen stuff. It wouldn't be much fun for either of us if all our free time together was spent with me watching him do chores.

When we're entertaining at home, I also do all the cooking, lay the table etc and make sure everything's right for our guests, and then he does the clearing up after they've gone or the next day, whichever suits him best.

The way I see it, our relationship is a partnership - it takes work from both of us to make it work properly and whoever sees something that needs doing. does it, regardless of whether they are Domme or sub. Neither is more important than the other; without him I am a Domme without a slave - without me, he is a slave without a Domme - we're reliant on each other as equal partners, not as superior and inferior...

Just my twopenn'orth!

Mistress Venus

I love deadlines. I particularly like that whooshing sound they make as they fly past

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 28

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:25:39 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Wasn't saying it is the 'way it should be done'.... just making the point that peoples expectations can differ and that the Dominant should make

Didn't mean to imply that you were. *smiles* Guess I'm a little brain-dead from finals and just looking to chatter. Sorry about that.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 29

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:35:32 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

My wife and I are both professional housekeepers. She has something like twenty two years of experience as a maid, housekeeper, and personal assistant. I have somewhere around eighteen years experience in janitorial and hospitality services. At the moment, she's working for IHSS, helping to take care of elderly and disabled persons who are medically incapable of taking care of their own housekeeping. I'm sort of doing the same thing for my mother, with the addition of secretarial work. To be honest, at the end of the day, when we get home, neither of us wants to do a damn thing around the house. We both pitch in to try and keep the place habitable, but for the most part, we just grit our teeth and see if we can ignore the mess for one more day. I'll admit, somewhere in the back of my head, there's a fantasy about picking up a submissive third who does something other than cleaning up after people all day. Just having an extra set of hands to handle basic things like laundry and kitchen clean-up would be a blessing, and would motivate the both of us to do more.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to MasterNdorei)

Post #: 30

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:37:01 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Are there exceptions if it's an event like her own birthday party or a relative like her mothers?

If she is the focus of the attention then the guests will be there for her, so of course there would be an accomidation of that in My expectations. A birthday girl does tend to be a little more indulged. However the dishes would be cleared away by one of us as I don't like entertaining amid the debris of dinner.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 31

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:38:37 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

For those who identify as subs or slaves, how do you feel about Dominants/Masters performing serving & cleaning tasks?

I would rather do the cleaning. I do not know if that is a submissive thing, a female thing, or if it is just "me". He has ordered me to sit down and cleaned in front of me when he felt like it. He does domestic things about the house when I am there. I love working on things with him, like we cleaned out his garage (which was piled high with things from when he emptied his storage into it). It was fun to go through all of it with him. He does not have the attitude that all housework is for me to do. We both work, we both will always work, so he does not feel it is fair to put all the rest on to me. He would rather hire a housekeeper (he has one) than to burden one person with the lion's share of the work. It really does not matter how I feel about it

quote:

Is there a difference when you attend a public function than in the privacy of your home life?

I have never been to one.. it will be the way he says when we do.

quote:

Do you feel as strongly about a Dominant/Master who is present but not "yours"? What if "your" Dominant is present?

I would strongly resent someone that I had not agreed to share a power exchange bossing me around or expecting me to do things for them. I'd rather stay home, and I would not feel I was missing out on a damn thing (if I was single). My Daddy will tell me who has the right to tell me what to do, and who does not. If my Daddy has not specifically instructed me to serve someone, and they request something of me and I am not their hostess... I will ask them to clear that with Daddy first.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MasterNdorei)

Post #: 32

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:40:05 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

Problem with the world today is that respect isn't shown women as it once was. Look around and how many men do you see getting the door for the woman?

My Daddy always opens doors for me.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 33

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:47:37 AM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I think that if I came into a party and the first thing that happend was i was ushered off to be used to clean or searve or something my Master would kindly collect me and take me out of there in favor of doing something better, Master is of the mind set that I am His and am there to serve HIM not anyone that choses to call themselves Domly. If in the course of serving Him He seeks me to serve another that is something different.

As for a Dom doing work around the house well... He does his part to keep things clean and clean things up around the house. he doesnt expect me to do all the work or even a great deal of the work (my chores include folding and sometimes orgeniseing and a few other things here and there)

Though one time I walked in and my mouth drop and I turned to him and said "what happen the maid quit" and then he turned to me and said "you quit???"
but that was just him beeing his normal charming self (we both giggled pretty hard and he almost fell of the chair he was standing on to cha nge a light bulb.)

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 4/25/2007 10:53:16 AM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 34

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:50:54 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Unless there is a group protocol that says the slaves serve and the Masters are served (there are groups like this), then I usually help...unless I have a sub or slave to contribute to the help. However, if the job is large, I still help. I was raised that this is simply the nice and polite thing to do. I've also have many BDSM parties in my home and it is sure nice that there are people still left afterward to help clean.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MasterNdorei)

Post #: 35

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:52:55 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Most subs/slaves don't really have a penchant for doing those things either.

We need to execute this myth that service/helping others = submission. It doesn't.

I have to disagree because there are many submissives that like domestic servitude and some that like domestic servitude only.
I know one particular maid who works very hard for many Mistresses and all she does is clean up after them, cook, serve food and drinks and generally run around at their beck and call. If you asked her if she was submissive she would surely answer ‘yes Ma’am’ If you asked her if she wanted some sort of reward for her servitude she would answer, ‘knowing I have done a good job for a Mistress is enough reward for me’.
Would she go and do it for someone vanilla? No, because she is a submissive!

Of course a lot of subs don’t want to do the servitude bit just as some dominants don’t want them to but for a sub that does it is still part or even all of their submission.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 36

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:56:07 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterNdorei

A post on another thread makes me want to ask... What cleaning & serving types of service do You as Dominants/Masters provide, and how you feel about doing these tasks? Is there a difference when you attend a public function than in the privacy of your home life? Does your participation change in the presence of submissive types that are not "yours"? Does your feeling about your participation change if the submissive present is "yours"? For those who identify as subs or slaves, how do you feel about Dominants/Masters performing serving & cleaning tasks? Is there a difference when you attend a public function than in the privacy of your home life? Do you feel as strongly about a Dominant/Master who is present but not "yours"? What if "your" Dominant is present? i do not believe there are any right or wrong answers. i am clear on how i feel, i am just curious to see how others live and think.

I can't say my owner provides services, and he isn't really the cleaning/cooking type of person. If he volunteers to help out at a function it will be in the building, carrying heavy things, stereotypical man type of stuff and would probably volunteer me for the cleaning serving stuff.

C~

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 4/25/2007 10:57:04 AM >

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to MasterNdorei)

Post #: 37

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:56:16 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
I have to disagree because there are many submissives that like domestic servitude and some that like domestic servitude only.

I don't think that disagrees with what I said.

Many subs are into domestic service.

I don't think most subs have a penchant for domestic service.

I even think most subs who are into domestic service get off on pleasing and doing a good job by being inconspicuous in the background and leaving a mark- not on the actual act of cleaning itself. Some do, but not most IMO.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 38

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:57:28 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Unless there is a group protocol that says the slaves serve and the Masters are served (there are groups like this), then I usually help...unless I have a sub or slave to contribute to the help. However, if the job is large, I still help. I was raised that this is simply the nice and polite thing to do. I've also have many BDSM parties in my home and it is sure nice that there are people still left afterward to help clean.

Master Fire

Absolutely, it is not a dominant or a submissive action to help clean up a party or dinner dishes... it is what people with manners do

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 39

RE: Doms cleaning & serving - 4/25/2007 10:59:38 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

Problem with the world today is that respect isn't shown women as it once was. Look around and how many men do you see getting the door for the woman?

My Daddy always opens doors for me.

There is a strong hint of gender biased thinking there. Does this woman have no thumbs? Is she physically invalid or mentally incompetent?

If I happen to be at the door, I'll open it (or hold it open) for any person I see coming along, man or woman, fit or frail. That's just basic courtesy. I usually get the door for my wife, but I also tend to be a little bit faster on my feet than she is. When she gets to the door first, she holds it for me.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 40

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