I need help (Full Version)

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Jmv0405 -> I need help (4/24/2007 12:55:48 PM)

Here's the issue.

Had a girlfriend in which we engaged in *some* sadomasochistic activitites. We had a safe word.

One night we fooled around after she told me "You could have me whenever you wanted me", which I took to mean be a little rough with me.

After, she started crying, and then brought a legal suit through my University at me. I feel as their decision to hold me responsible for "coercion" as they said only came from the fact that they disagreed with S+M.

So, anyone know any good lawyers who can help me?

P.S. Sorry my first post was such a downer, but I really do need help.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 1:01:36 PM)

You can try contacting the National Calition for Sexual Freedom. Perhaps they can give you some pointers about how to find the right lawyer.

Master Fire



kiyari -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 1:02:11 PM)

During the course of this 'fooling around', did she use her safeword,
or was she ABLE to use it if she had wanted to (ie: not gagged without some alternate means to express it)?

Yes, this does not answer your specific request, is just food for thought.

You might browse the "Alternative Lifestyles in the News" forum for possible leads in what you have come here asking for.



SlutMuffin -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 1:06:00 PM)

You might want to consider contacting the Woodhull Foundation.  They have a website which is www.woodhullfoundation.org

There's another group and if i think of their name, i'll post it later.  Best of luck to you!

Hugs,
muffin  :)



SlutMuffin -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 1:08:28 PM)

That's it... the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom was the other organization i was trying to think of.  Here's their website...  www.ncsfreedom.org/

Best of luck with everything!!!  Please post and keep us updated as to how things go.

Hugs,
muffin  :)



WhiplashSmile -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 2:37:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jmv0405

Here's the issue.

Had a girlfriend in which we engaged in *some* sadomasochistic activitites. We had a safe word.

One night we fooled around after she told me "You could have me whenever you wanted me", which I took to mean be a little rough with me.

After, she started crying, and then brought a legal suit through my University at me. I feel as their decision to hold me responsible for "coercion" as they said only came from the fact that they disagreed with S+M.

So, anyone know any good lawyers who can help me?

P.S. Sorry my first post was such a downer, but I really do need help.


Ummm... I don't think I myself would have taken "You could have me whenever you wanted me" to mean as being rough with her, but rather you could take and have sex with her any time you wanted.   Perhaps this is what she intended?  It's always a good idea to talk about things in depth, instead of assuming anything.  Meaning to carry on a full conversation for clarification sake.   Only you and her know the details about what went down.   At times misunderstandings can lead to mistakes being made.  It's obvious something went wrong and now it's because of where it's ended up.





Jmv0405 -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 3:04:57 PM)

Thanks, all.

I assure you I had no intention of hurting her, for anyone who asks.

But I will not go into further detail.

To protect myself.



Casie -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 3:26:06 PM)

It sounds like a definate lack of communication. I agree you should contact the organizations mentioned before. 



OedipusRexIt -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 3:57:06 PM)

If this post is legitimate, then it represents the classic concern of any thinking Dom.

"What to do if she says 'rape me', and then cries RAPE!"?

I'm not going to assume I know the facts in the OP's case,  as who knows but the parties involved. 

Still, I can sympathize, as this concern replaced "what if I get her pregnant", back when I was in college, as number one.

I guess I can say "be empathetic" or "communicate", or even "choose your partners more carefully", but does any of that really make sense until you have the life experience to truly know what it means?

I just can't picture myself so detached that I wouldn't spot something going wrong, hopefully before it went horribly so.

... oh, and OP:  your posting on this site at all is now subject to discovery.  Perhaps that was also the point, to make it part of the litigation file?


edited for spelling yet again (and not, not to remove an "it's" CL)



Jmv0405 -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 4:01:49 PM)

I don't know if that was the point.

I may never need a lawyer anyway.

But I'd rather know where to find one than not need one, than need one and not know where to find them.

Thanks again all.



Focus50 -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 4:02:53 PM)

You're my new pinup for 20yo doms!  Just as well she didn't tell you she wanted to be fucked to death, ay? 
 
<shakes head in bewilderment>
 
Focus.



MadRabbit -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 4:19:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

You're my new pinup for 20yo doms!  Just as well she didn't tell you she wanted to be fucked to death, ay? 
 
<shakes head in bewilderment>
 
Focus.


*whacks Jmv0405 on the head with his cane*

BAH! Fracking crackin kids these days with their hippitity hoppity music and their bleepin reeping video gagits! I'm going to go eat some turnips!



Jmv0405 -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 4:21:44 PM)

Except there was really no "domming" going on.

I know the temptation is to talk about safety measures here, but it is not the place.

I will be glad to engage in those conversations, elsewhere.



minnetar -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 4:29:13 PM)

Why do you have your picture on your posts?  That seems to me like blatant advertising of who you are.  i know you are needing answers but i would be less conspicuous.

minnetar



Jmv0405 -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 4:33:52 PM)

I'm not ashamed of who I am, minnetar.

Nor am I ashamed of anything I have done.

Nor will I ever hide in fear, of anyone or anything.

That sounded a little too zen budhist for my tastes.



Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 4:57:32 PM)

Hopefully you are able to find a lawyer who can help you.

But, I am curious.  Did you stop when she started crying?  Did you ask if she was okay?  Did you apologize for hurting/scaring her? 

As others have stated, communication is vital whenever you are doing something which can be interpreted as 'illegal'.  Simply asking "how do you mean?" or "does whenever also include however?" when she made the confusing comment would have helped to clarify things better.

Good luck.



Jmv0405 -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 5:23:33 PM)

Yes, yes, and yes.

And as for clarifying things, I kept asking her if she was enjoying it when it was occuring.

In case, you're curious she said "Yes" once and "Yes, Sir" at another point.

I am very careful not to hurt people.

This was about one girl's specific desire to hurt me.



CreativeDominant -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 5:30:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jmv0405

Here's the issue.

Had a girlfriend in which we engaged in *some* sadomasochistic activitites. We had a safe word.

One night we fooled around after she told me "You could have me whenever you wanted me", which I took to mean be a little rough with me.

After, she started crying, and then brought a legal suit through my University at me. I feel as their decision to hold me responsible for "coercion" as they said only came from the fact that they disagreed with S+M.

So, anyone know any good lawyers who can help me?

P.S. Sorry my first post was such a downer, but I really do need help.


Try googling "kink aware professionals".  They have a list of doctors and lawyers and other professionals who understand the ins and outs of these situations from legal, health, and other standpoints.  I was a member for a few years, dropped for awhile, and am in the process of getting back in as I realize the need for a health care professional who is not going to look at your bruises and call the cops right away.



OedipusRexIt -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 5:36:11 PM)

JMV, you may wish to take a moment and surf through the forum archives to see how classicly you're representing the "yearling" stage of wannabe Dom.

Stop... think... reconsider...  If that really is your photo, you're making a lasting impression as a fool.  How's that going to help you?

If your OP was at all real, don't you think you're acting in an inadvisable manner, vis-a-vis your legal situation?

Go look up "attorney" in the phone book, pick one at random and make an appointment, unless your op is just a pose.



LotusSong -> RE: I need help (4/24/2007 5:36:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile

Ummm... I don't think I myself would have taken "You could have me whenever you wanted me" to mean as being rough with her, but rather you could take and have sex with her any time you wanted.   Perhaps this is what she intended?  It's always a good idea to talk about things in depth, instead of assuming anything.  Meaning to carry on a full conversation for clarification sake.   Only you and her know the details about what went down.   At times misunderstandings can lead to mistakes being made.  It's obvious something went wrong and now it's because of where it's ended up.







I agree.. he may want to work on the communication thing a bitt more in the future.



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