SusanofO
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Joined: 12/19/2005
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Sinergy: Well, I'd re-vamp the whole idea just anyone can become a parent, and make a privilege and not a right.
I know the following ideas would never stand a chance of being instituted, and you'll probably think I am crazy, but you haven't worked where I've worked for the past few years.
As long as you asked, here is what I think.This might anger some people, but oh well. In my utopian, ideal world, here is what would happen (and I realize it probably won't - ever). But you did ask me:
I would make people fill out applications to become parents. Not just to adopt UMs, I mean to conceive a child. If they had a UM anyway, and hadn't filled it an application (aqnd there would be a "grace period" for obviuos reasons - conception accidents do happen), or gotten a subsequent license, then the state could just take their child and it would go into foster care or a group home, unless - they were able to find it a home with relatives or friends who did qualify to be parents, until they could qualify (if ever).
This obviously flies in the face of wat most take for granted as their right to re-produce. After what I've seen, I am pretty sure I don't care, anymore.
I would make people take 1) mandatory parenting classes in highschool, in order to graduate, and also having anyone who already has UMs take a behavioral exam that tests personality traits that would prevent them from becoming a good parent, along with an extensive interview, with really well-constructed questions where the "correct" answer wouldn't necessarily be obvious (kind of like the MMPI).
**Anyone deemed "at risk" as far as being a potentially really bad parent (like someone who was prone to violence, or psychotic, or a drug abuser, and also who'd likely exhibit blatnat, or even moderate, forms of emotional or physical and-or sexual abuse toward a UM, as well - would just plain be out of luck. Sorry. Both of these measures would be ones I'd make essential to getting a parenting license.
No, tests aren't perfect, there are "holes" in these ideas, and some people might get the "short end of the stick". Yes a lot of this might seem "unfair". I don't have a solution to that. I do think, though, that it's mostly better that what happens now to many unfortunate UMs, though, as a result of being born to people who obviously didn't think for 10 seconds, before conceiving a child, bearing one, or becoming a father, and who mostly make it clear, via their behavior toward their UM(s), that they don't want to be a decent parent.
**Anyone deemed "at risk" but less so, could get a "transitional parenting license" as long as they signed up for parenting classes that would help improve whatever skills they were lacking that would help them engage with their UMs in a healthy, or at least nuetral, manner. Then they could re-take the exam, and if they passed, they could have a child, if they could conceive one, and met the other necessary requirements.
Income and marital status wouldn't have anything to do with getting a license (beyond being able to basically support a UM, as well as spend a substantial amount of time with the UM) - but mental and emotional stabilty would have almost everyting to do with it, along with a genuine, almost fervent desire, to become a parent, and truly nurture a UM.
These same procedures would be in place for people who already have UMs, and I'd advocate social workers "dropping in" unexpectedly, to check to see how things were going as far as being a parent, for anyone deemed "at risk".
For people who already had UMs that were obviously unfit, the system would operate much as it does now (except we'd need more foster parents, and-or or group homes).
I am sure under this kind of system, responsible folks who genuinely wanted UMs and could care for them, would still be able to become parents. Thye could re-apply every 3-5 years, of they failed to meet the requirements for a parenting license.
You asked. If I get flamed for this post, I am not answering any flames. But there is my answer. And thanks for asking (really).
- Susan
< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/20/2007 4:44:55 AM >
_____________________________
"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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