Unappreciated Dominants

Unappreciated Dominants (Full Version)

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servilecat -> Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 1:22:19 AM)
Every other day a Dominant Friend will tell me that They got little or no emails from or returned from subbies. Just how hard is it to return an email? Why aren't the subbies answering? Couldn't we just randomly send out an email to someone just to tell them to have a nice day or that they have a thought provoking profile? It could be an emailathon! (i wrote a sample email but it was so very cheeky i thought i shouldnt add it......)

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 3:09:58 AM)
I answer every email I get. And I also send random emails to comment on their profile or journal.

Miriah -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 3:31:44 AM)
Speaking as a Dominant, I get many that do not answer my email's. Or they will answer the first one and then say they want to get to know you and never respond again. But it is only male submissives/slaves that I have had problems with. I had no idea that female submissives/slaves did the same, I guess I just took it for granted women were raised better to be polite and answer everyone that addressed them. Pretty sad to hear that isn't true.

bandit25 -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 3:44:05 AM)
Every time I see a thread like this I see red. I doubt that most subs (male or female) just blithely refuse to answer emails. I believe it is much more a case of someone not reading the sub's profile and sending unwanted emails. This is the internet folks. You can send whatever you want, but you should have absolutely NO expectation of getting an answer. It has absolutely nothing to do with how one was raised or politeness or I should say it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with that.

MyMasterStephen -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 3:56:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Miriah Speaking as a Dominant, I get many that do not answer my email's. Or they will answer the first one and then say they want to get to know you and never respond again. But it is only male submissives/slaves that I have had problems with. I had no idea that female submissives/slaves did the same, I guess I just took it for granted women were raised better to be polite and answer everyone that addressed them. Pretty sad to hear that isn't true. I only write to female submissives. Of the messages I send (and I must send two or three a day), few get replies. Maybe two or three a week. I recognise that most female subs get snowed under with mail and cannot answer all of them - indeed many of them do not merit answers. But most of my messages are considered and polite, and I would hope that my profile goes some way towards demonstrating that I am genuine and thoughtful. Therefore I would have expected that my messages deserved a polite response, even to say "thanks but no thanks". This all presupposes, of course, that the recipient is genuine and female... No, manners do not seem to be gender-specific. Some have them, most do not.

KatyLied -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 3:58:14 AM)
I get email that I don't reply to. I don't feel compelled to reply to every email I receive. Especially one liners and obvious trolls.

redsky -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 4:07:36 AM)
i dont get many emails - i reply to them all... im sad, but im polite! lol[:D]

bandit25 -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 4:14:02 AM)
The other thing I didn't mention are those who are searching for one to add to their family. If you clearly state in your profile that you aren't poly, why reply to a request for poly? No matter how politely worded. With that said, I actually tend to reply to all but the most rude.

Satyr6406 -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 5:00:15 AM)
What some people don't realize (I know I didn't, until just recently) is that there are "default" mail filters and if, for example, a female submissive lets CM know that she is looking for male dominants, even if she states a curiosity about ladies, in her typed profile, e-mails from female dominants might get filtered so that she never knows she received them. *quote:* The other thing I didn't mention are those who are searching for one to add to their family. If you clearly state in your profile that you aren't poly, why reply to a request for poly? This is an absolutely valid point but, how many have no such statement and get "pissy" when approached by someone who is polyamorous? In my experience: MANY Peace and comfort, Michael

sillygirl09 -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 5:40:32 AM)
I answer all the emails I get.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 9:25:07 AM)
Don't take it personally. When someone doesn't answer...it's not about the person who sent it but about the person who didn't reply. It's all about the non-replyer's "stuff" and how they react to it. Master Fire

lilsubl -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 9:56:13 AM)
as a general rule, i tend to reply to most emails, except for the ones that simply say, "hello" or "nice tits"...even if i'm not interested, i will send a reply to that effect & wish that person luck in their search...when i first posted my profile here, i emailed a Dominant in my area who i found attractive & he was kind enough to email me back that i didn't fit his physical preference...i so appreciated that response, that i try to do the same.....

juliaoceania -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 11:22:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam Don't take it personally. When someone doesn't answer...it's not about the person who sent it but about the person who didn't reply. It's all about the non-replyer's "stuff" and how they react to it. Master Fire Hmmmm, I am sure there are many people that do not reply to various emails for various reasons that have "no stuff" attached to this decision, they have no emotional attachments to emails sent to them, there is no inner "stuff" they are working on. To me "stuff" has the connotation that there is some negative emotional attachment related to this decision... Another aspect of this concept is that it comes off as if the sender has no responsibility for the lack of replies to what they send off into the universe. How we preceive the world, how the world perceives us, is all directly related to our own "stuff". If someone is not getting what they desire in life, that truly is all about them, and not other people. Like my Daddy always says, futitility is doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting a different result. If people send off one liners, canned form emails, crude come ons, pay no attention to the desires of those they are approaching, is that the "stuff" of the recipient of the sender? If they send off sincere emails that are not responded to for lord knows what reason, perhaps the Universe has reasons that are not apparent to the sender... faith that 99% of what we desire to manifest as yet unseen, and gratitude for this is a much more productive way to approach this than to think our personal stuff is the domain of other people... it just isn't I tried several ways of responding to people that invariably led to opening the door to abusive crap being thrust back at me. My "stuff" was to find an approach that limited this crap in my life, I found ignoring it was the best solution... I believe in taking responsibility for my reality and what comes into it. Not feeding has all but ended abusive emails, which are now just a trickle. Most of these revolve around calling my Dom "Daddy". It is not my responsibility to make others feel good, it is my responsibility to create a world that feels good to me and radiate that out to others. Personal responsibility is so freeing, and I strongly believe that those who send out emails and do not get the response that they had an expectation of getting are not being personally responsibly. I think this because we cannot create in another person's reality, and when we invest emotionally in the actions of others and allow ourselves to be let down by them we are in fact attempting to create for others. I see myself as a creative being, and I have been learning that the largest obstacle I have to my own personal happiness is the desire to control and create for others... in letting this go I have been much more at peace, my relationships are happier... and although I still struggle with this concept at times, it feels good to honor others by not foisting my own expectations off on to them. I believe that expecting a response from others is indeed trying to create in their universe, and to me this has nothing to do with politeness, it is ethically wrong by my own moral compass.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 11:41:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Hmmmm, I am sure there are many people that do not reply to various emails for various reasons that have "no stuff" attached to this decision, they have no emotional attachments to emails sent to them, there is no inner "stuff" they are working on. To me "stuff" has the connotation that there is some negative emotional attachment related to this decision... Not at all. "stuff" can be positive as well. I love cats. They make me happy. I have "stuff" that relates me to cats in this way. When I use the term, I simply mean a grouping of all the things that I've experienced that make me me. And, having no emotional attachment IS stuff. Granted, however, "stuff" is usually seen with a more negative connotation...probably because we tend to not have a problem with it unless we're dealing with the negative stuff. quote: Another aspect of this concept is that it comes off as if the sender has no responsibility for the lack of replies to what they send off into the universe. How we preceive the world, how the world perceives us, is all directly related to our own "stuff". If someone is not getting what they desire in life, that truly is all about them, and not other people. Wondering why they're not getting emails from someone else isn't about improvment. Learning how to get emails in a positive manner IS. The question, as I read it, wasn't about how to do better, it was about why it was happening. (Of course, I could have read it wrong or incompletely.) Excellent points, BTW, especially the repsonsibility of the sender if they want to change what they're complaining about. Master Fire

LadySeraphina -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 2:08:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50 I answer every email I get. And I also send random emails to comment on their profile or journal. I do the same, cuddleheart. Some do, some don't. It isn't always about politeness, but when one DOES reply, even with a 'no thank you', they are showing manners. Doesn't mean that not replying indicates a lack thereof, as it could also be busyness, or floods of emails, a filter as mentioned, or - it does happen - that they created a profile and haven't maintained it or visited CM in a while. shrug Just a thought.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 5:00:55 PM)
i don't get many emails from strangers but if i did i would reply nicely unless it's a stupid request then expect do a less than nice reply.

marylynn -> RE: Unappreciated Dominants (4/18/2007 5:06:32 PM)
I won't answer every email or message I get.. I've been here for two days, and the only ones I will not answer are the ones that say "Picture, now slut" excuse me? I don't think so - they get no reply by me.. sorry if that rattles nerves, but ~shrug~ whatever - if you can't respect me for who/what I am - then you're not going to receive any respect for what/who you are

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