RE: New Paradigm Relating / Domination (Full Version)

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WhiplashSmile -> RE: New Paradigm Relating / Domination (4/16/2007 7:22:21 PM)

SusanofO...  I have found that thinking in terms of inside/outside the BDSM scene play box most helpful.  Clearly defines the differences in what real abuse/use and fantasy abuse/use is.  I find it important that my partner knows if we are in/out of the box.  Makes a big difference in how she mentally processes the whole deal.

Now in regards to Switching.  You may find you enjoy being a switch only inside the box.   In terms of outside the box you may wish to be either sub/swicth/domme..   In relationships there are Dom/Domme couples, and deferment works with logical debates and tossing around ideas until compromise is reached.   If you are with somebody else whos a switch outside the box, you may find yourself taking turns in who's in charge of the relationship from time to time.  You will need to know how to deal when you both are in DOM mode, and when each is in D/s mode or both you and your partner are in submissive mode at the same time.   In short 4 modes of relationship operation outside the box!!

D/D
D/s
s/D
s/s

Where as each side of the slash in you and your partner...  A pair of true switch personalities can be rather challenging at times.   So it's best that you and them stay in touch with one General mode.   Also be important to indentify with your partner what mode you are in...  Honey.. I'm in DOM mode right now!  Honey, I'm in sub mode.   This should be a two way street.. where both people will have to simply express what state they are in, so the other can make adjustments for it.   Whew.....



SusanofO -> RE: New Paradigm Relating / Domination (4/16/2007 7:26:34 PM)

WhiplashSmile: Your post here has been extremely helpful to me. Thanks so much - so many great thoughts for further reflection for me, as far as how to handle what may lie ahead  - Especially re: the "being a Switch" part, and letting your partner know whether you consider you both to be "in or out" of any "scene box", at any particular time. That strikes me as very helpful, and much less potentially confusing for submissives than the alternative, especially . 

I appreciate it, especially since I'm brand new, as a Domme, too.

- Susan



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