Getting Older

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LotusSong -> Getting Older (4/15/2007 7:14:21 PM)
Last week I turned 54. "Gad" I thought... "That's getting up there". So what did I do? I cut my hair. This is a big thing for women- but I wanted a drastic change. I've been wearing my hair as my husband or my slave or my old boyfriends liked it- which was long. I decided to wear it the way "I" wanted to. I had a style in mind for a couple years now and switched to a hairdresser that wasn't afraid to cut hair! Then I stood in front of the mirror for my annual self-assessment and a miraculous thing happened. I looked at myself, not as I want to be and maybe haven’t achieved yet (yet? Probably never will)...but I looked at myself as I am. A 54 yr old woman. I’ve seen better and I’ve seen worse. So what if I'm fluffy around the middle. Shit happens. I’m not going to get any younger, so I decided to accept who and what I am. I’m not perfect. I’ll never be perfect but I can be happy. So, I gave myself a present. I gave myself permission to be happy just as I am. My husband doesn’t criticize me...or my friends ... or my slave. I’m fine. I’m loved by my husband, worshiped by my slave and my friends, well “bless ‘em”...they kick my ass when I need it, usually about my self-criticism. (Hell, you think I’m rough on the boards sometimes... you should be “in here”) What a neat gift... after 54 yrs... “Self Acceptance”! (What I’m saying is... don’t wait 54 years- enjoy being you as you are. You may as well, I’m sure there are those out there that enjoy you in spite of yourself :) Be happy. .. NOW. [I am- therefore, I edit] P.S. I'll be putting up new pictures soon.

minnetar -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 7:18:43 PM)
Congrats!! minnetar

SusanofO -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 7:22:20 PM)
Well based on your most recent avatar pic (ffrom a few weeks ago), you look darn good, as you are at your age, IMO, LotusSong. And there is obviously way more to evaluating someone, than simply their looks anyway. You are obviously making those closest in your life contented with you. Congrats and happy birthday! - Susan

asubmissiveheart -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 7:30:03 PM)
Happy Birthday LotusSong, what a wonderful post.

HisSongstress -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 7:35:06 PM)
Happy Birthday Lotus Song, Though it is your birthday, you gave us a wonderful gift. Thank you. best! ...song...

MzMia -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 8:26:03 PM)
Happy Birthday Lotus Song! You are not getting older, you are getting better!![:D] WoooHoo on cutting your hair, good for you! I bet it looks lovely![;)] What a wonderful outlook and attitude you have...... I can "hear" the joy in your post! Enjoy and celebrate often![:)]

Sinergy -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 8:28:59 PM)
I used to worry about getting older and letting women kick me as hard as they could in the groin repeatedly. Thought "gee, all these people say I should slow down." Our old senior instructor had his first child (13 years as a mock assailant) when he was 54. Just me, could be wrong, etc. Sinergy

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 8:46:32 PM)
I missed your Birthday! Well Happy Birthday a bit late! And I want to see that new haircut! Yes, folks, she looks just as beyooooootiful in person!

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 8:58:14 PM)
I'm dreading the next 4 years ONLY because as I approach 30, EVERYONE is going to ask "Oh, how does it feel to turn 30?" and act like it's some big deal. I find it interesting to be approaching 30 and doing some reflection...but really, cmon. It means I'll get worse rates on life insurance and better rates on car insurance. It's everyone ELSE's expectations on changing ages and making me listen to all their "Trauma of Turning 30" stories that I will be upset about.

UtopianRanger -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 9:05:20 PM)
quote: Last week I turned 54. "Gad" I thought... "That's getting up there". So what did I do? I cut my hair. This is a big thing for women- but I wanted a drastic change. I've been wearing my hair as my husband or my slave or my old boyfriends liked it- which was long. With your blond hair and those strong, penetrating blue eyes, I woulda never guessed you were a day over 46. And remember what I told you about the reading glasses? ; } - R

pahunkboy -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 9:05:50 PM)
the alternative to aging is -- the grave. i want to be the cheerful type when i get up there. i find myself too bitter. time marches on. -measure by quality of life. i know of a 2 yr old w cancer. he never had a chance. the poor guy. the poor mom. i sort rebelled on the age thing. it would be 2k to fix my teeth- well- my vanity has long since passed. so- 2k is mattress money. i took it hard at 1st. everyone can see my now bad teeth. well the heck with it. im leanring to smile nturally- if someone is turned off- well- the aging process happens...... its a natural part of life.

LotusSong -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 9:45:01 PM)
First.. thank you all for your well wishes :) pahunkboy: There is an idealist stage I see in the 20's when we all are starting out. Then the 30's is where disenchantment comes in. You can either get past it, learn from it or become bitter.. then in the 40's.. you try to grasp what you missed in the prior decades before you hit the dreaded 50's. In the 50's.. I call it my "oh, what the fuck" phase. Hopefully one learns acceptance.. I'll find out about the 60's when get here :) Here's my "WTF" moment of late: Tomorrow I am checking out a 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan SXT (30K mi) Ramp-van with all the options. I've been holding back on investing in this because of the cost. Well, I happened upon a connection that will take my trade in.. and I can get this for $25K. (fully outfitted like this is $54K) I used to feel kind of sad about the gradual diminishing of my walking and balance (due to MS). The good ne-ws is I am a gadget freak. Because of this disease..I get to have a mega GADGET. My god this thing is like the Star Treck Enterprise. Everything is remotely run. The truck "kneels" (I mean.. what Domme doesn't like things that kneel), the passenger side door of the van slides back and a ramp deploys from the floor..I drive my power chair up the ram and spin it around and voila! I'm ready to go. I've got hand controls! The streets of Phoenix are now safe. I've been driving without feeling in my feet. The back hatch is remotely operated. What I have now is a camper cap on my Dakota quad-cab with a power lift winch kinda set up that consists of a metal bar docking device which gets hot as hell in the summer out here. I have to put on gloves first to handle it. This new setup means way less time in the heat. A lighted vanity mirror :) And visors that have a slideout that fills in the little space in the window where the sun usually keeps glaring in. I plan on having a remote start installed. This way I can have it running and the AC cooling down the van before I get in. My father's second wife is now in a nursing home and not expected to come home. I hope my father move in with us if not, at lest a long visit. This truck will be a godsend for him also. UR: My eyes are actually a very light hazel. But I guess they do change color :) Dusty: aww shucks :) LA: 30 will come and go- don't worry about it. You'll survive fine. :)

proudsub -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 9:45:10 PM)
quote: So, I gave myself a present. I gave myself permission to be happy just as I am. My husband doesn’t criticize me...or my friends ... or my slave. I’m fine. I’m loved by my husband, worshiped by my slave and my friends, well “bless ‘em”...they kick my ass when I need it, usually about my self-criticism. (Hell, you think I’m rough on the boards sometimes... you should be “in here”) What a neat gift... after 54 yrs... “Self Acceptance”! Good for you!! Happy Birthday!! I kinda did the same thing at 60.[:)]

LotusSong -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 10:04:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: proudsub quote: So, I gave myself a present. I gave myself permission to be happy just as I am. My husband doesn’t criticize me...or my friends ... or my slave. I’m fine. I’m loved by my husband, worshiped by my slave and my friends, well “bless ‘em”...they kick my ass when I need it, usually about my self-criticism. (Hell, you think I’m rough on the boards sometimes... you should be “in here”) What a neat gift... after 54 yrs... “Self Acceptance”! Good for you!! Happy Birthday!! I kinda did the same thing at 60.[:)] Wonderful feeling.. isn't it!

Sinergy -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 10:09:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I'm dreading the next 4 years ONLY because as I approach 30, EVERYONE is going to ask "Oh, how does it feel to turn 30?" and act like it's some big deal. I find it interesting to be approaching 30 and doing some reflection...but really, cmon. It means I'll get worse rates on life insurance and better rates on car insurance. It's everyone ELSE's expectations on changing ages and making me listen to all their "Trauma of Turning 30" stories that I will be upset about. Astrologically speaking, assuming you believe hurling rocks in space control your every action... Saturn has a 30 year orbit. Saturn was in a certain place when you were born, it is there again when you are 30. Saturn is considered the planet of limitation since it has rings around it. So when your "Saturn returns" you are faced with the lesson of learning what your limiting factor is in life. I am not going to post what my lesson was, but it was pure hell for me psychologically. You will be fine. Be open to what lesson your Saturn returning gives you, because it will be important to you. Sinergy

haysup -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 10:10:31 PM)
I hope I can grow older as gracefully as you have.

LeMis -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 10:17:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong Last week I turned 54. "Gad" I thought... "That's getting up there". So what did I do? I cut my hair. This is a big thing for women- but I wanted a drastic change. I've been wearing my hair as my husband or my slave or my old boyfriends liked it- which was long. I decided to wear it the way "I" wanted to. I had a style in mind for a couple years now and switched to a hairdresser that wasn't afraid to cut hair! Then I stood in front of the mirror for my annual self-assessment and a miraculous thing happened. I looked at myself, not as I want to be and maybe haven’t achieved yet (yet? Probably never will)...but I looked at myself as I am. A 54 yr old woman. I’ve seen better and I’ve seen worse. So what if I'm fluffy around the middle. Shit happens. I’m not going to get any younger, so I decided to accept who and what I am. I’m not perfect. I’ll never be perfect but I can be happy. So, I gave myself a present. I gave myself permission to be happy just as I am. My husband doesn’t criticize me...or my friends ... or my slave. I’m fine. I’m loved by my husband, worshiped by my slave and my friends, well “bless ‘em”...they kick my ass when I need it, usually about my self-criticism. (Hell, you think I’m rough on the boards sometimes... you should be “in here”) What a neat gift... after 54 yrs... “Self Acceptance”! (What I’m saying is... don’t wait 54 years- enjoy being you as you are. You may as well, I’m sure there are those out there that enjoy you in spite of yourself :) Be happy. .. NOW. [I am- therefore, I edit] P.S. I'll be putting up new pictures soon. Sounds like you had an awesome birthday!!! [:)] Hope it was as awesome as it sounded! The new vans have the neatest "toys", my dad has a 2006 TOYota Sienna fully equipped to load up mom's red "rascal", she has MS too. It's great fun to drive, hehe... [;)] Thanks for the terrific advice!

thompsonx -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 10:23:05 PM)
LotusSong: I was 54 once....a long time ago[;)] Happy birthday and I wanna see that new haircut and the van (who knew you could get a car to bow or kneel). thompson

corsetgirl -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 10:31:23 PM)
Happy Birthday! I went through a bit of crises when I turned 45, feeling old and useless but I am 48 now and in two years, I will hit 50. However, I feel a lot stronger and more confident than I did when I was younger. I am also able to be in my own driver's seat in taking control of my life goals. For the first time, I am at a very good place. I wish you well and hope you will find the best in life!

SusanofO -> RE: Getting Older (4/15/2007 10:36:39 PM)
A friend of mine, at a Holiday party this past year, told me that she thinks that "60 is the new 40" (she is 59) - and considering medical advances, and how much better people really can look than they used to, and well into and past "middle age" due to them these days (plus having good genes), I think she's probaby right. Not to mention, one's attitude has more than a little to do with "aging gracefully", IMO. - Susan

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