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ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

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ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

I think from what you said you've used your safe word when indeed you were taking your submission back due to not wanting to continue with that Dom.
How do you find that's faking it?
It may not have been you were at a physical safe word point, but there's also mental safe word points.
I think weather it's mental or physical to use your safe word when you feel things are just not right is not a bad thing or fake.
I too have had Dom's tell me if I safe word in things they'll never talk to me again.
I think if you basically have a proposed agreement you're allowed one, but only a terminal one it is just a sign of insecurity and control in incorrect avenues of the Dom IMO any way and drops my respect level down toward them a fair bit.
I mean how egocentric and overbearing would they have to be?

I fortunately have not safe worded yet, but most of my play is in the Crucible our public dungeon here, lol when I do play.
LOL I've begged & pleaded with the best of them though.
I think lots of things are safer and more toned down there in the dungeon. I'm not really pushed to the edge of my limits in public out of respect for the crowd not being well adapted to more edgy stuff.

There indeed are subs who safe word because they use it as a control mechanism when they don't feel like playing or for leverage.
I think that's wrong and a perversion of the supposed submission.

I think being you were ending the relationship your mentality was not one of play manipulation or control, rather your decision to walk away.
Good Luck,
suzanne

Thankyou Suzanne- you always seem to be the voice of reason here...so the full 'scene' that I first safe-worded out of was with a ltr dom that I knew was ending...I agreed to see him and talk about it in person and the talk turned into a stern scolding, then the 'spanking' after the scolding for my emotional distance...I was a good little follower until then, but when he started more intense play, I knew I didn't trust him enough to let him go any further...the second time was at a public dungeon, I arranged for a 'closed session' , I paid the dungeon fee etc..and he kept making comments about me being his 'sugar mamma' etc...any respect I had for him was lost . . . and I could not proceed with the session...neither time was I trying to manipulate or top from the bottom...I thought I could have that one last endorphins rush (my crack)...but ultimately, I couldn't follow through with it