Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore!


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/12/2007 12:21:07 PM   
sexyone4you


Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		I wasn't always a pain slut - I became one.  I used to hit subspace easily with a simple spanking.  Then it came to a beating.  I can't hit subspace anymore from that.  I still enjoy the stimulation, but it's like sex without orgasm.  Good, but not great. 

Any ideas on where to go from here?  I have limits of breath, blood, and potty play, along with plenty some others.  Has anyone run into this?  What types of play did you try to help you get back to floating?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/12/2007 12:24:36 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I tried not to be so goal oriented and I found that has helped when my sub space went AWOL. If I just enjoy the ride, and stop trying to find subspace...it finds me.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/12/2007 12:26:17 PM   
sexy2sum


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/14/2006
Status: offline 		You're focused too deeply on the physical aspect of your play.  There is an energy within you that must be harnessed in order to reach the states that you are reffering to.  Incorporating meditation before and after our encounters has helped a lot. 

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/12/2007 12:31:27 PM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		ohohoh,
I can totally identify. I wont bore anyone with the details of why, but I cant hit subspace with impact at all anymore. My pain tolerance in this area is gone. Bang! Boom! Dead!

At one time I floated almost instantly, safe words were impossible, and I could take a beating for hours. To say that sexual stimulation was apart of it, well that is an understatement. Now there aint a blessed thing.

I can attain subspace while engaging in various forms of edge play sexy, but it sounds like you arent that intrigued in those areas.

Thank you for starting this thread I will most definitely be keeping an eye on it.

lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/12/2007 12:36:42 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you
Any ideas on where to go from here?  I have limits of breath, blood, and potty play, along with plenty some others.  Has anyone run into this?  What types of play did you try to help you get back to floating?


What was it that got you there in the first place?  Physical pain, or some sort of concept behind it?  The physical reaction it caused?

So easy to become jaded, isn't it?  Grow used to one stimulation, one requires it to a more profound degree or in a more profound manner.  If it was a concept, though, some ideal you lost along the way while floating, perhaps you can reclaim that in realizing it.

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/12/2007 1:28:58 PM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

What was it that got you there in the first place?  Physical pain, or some sort of concept behind it?  The physical reaction it caused?



I am definately NOT into attaining subspace and where or how one finds it, is beyond me.
I focus on my service, not on my reactions to it.
I have experienced, twice now, the ability to orgasm that I never thought possible.  He initiates it, carries me through it and I deliver it for his pleasure.  Today he called it a mind fucking orgasm.
I dont consider this subspace tho.
So my suggestion might be, if you are in it for the service, focus on that and not any physical reaction.
I really dont know much about masochists, unless they are also submissive masochists, then I call it, doing the pain for  him, thus focusing on his pleasure in recieving pain.  Maybe then? 

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/12/2007 1:40:01 PM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I find if I take a break from scening for about a month my tolerances go way down.
Maybe take a break for a month and the heavier play won't have to be so heavy for you to get to floating again once you start again.
LOL if not Midori just bloged the other day she cut a sub with paper cuts between her toes and then poured lemon juice in them.
That definately sounds ouchy.
suzanne

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/12/2007 2:14:13 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

Midori just bloged the other day she cut a sub with paper cuts between her toes and then poured lemon juice in them.


Oh my, that made me cringe.


_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/13/2007 12:48:52 AM   
sexyone4you


Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you, onestandingstill, but I tend to lump paper cuts with "bad" pain. Yikes!

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/13/2007 12:52:10 AM   
sexyone4you


Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		I hear what you are saying, my obedience, but part of my service for him involves enjoying the pain & riding it into subspace.  I have taken shorter breaks, but that wouldn't please Him either if I desired to take a long break.  I am stuck between a rock & a whip & not seeing a solution here.  He and I do share the same limits with blood play.  

Has any other pain sluts run out of non-blood play to try? 

(in reply to myobedience)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/13/2007 1:04:50 AM   
Nikolette


Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline 		sexyone4you:

Have you TRIED being open to a mild form of blood play?

My newest slave had blood play as a limit... We talked about it, he okayed trying it and we did it- and he loves it. He's had a LOT of limits turn into favorites in this manner. And he is the very nervous, limited type. Through working on the trust and bond and intimacy he was at least willing to TRY things and found some he really really enjoyed.

Just a thought.

_____________________________

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/13/2007 1:08:52 AM   
sexyone4you


Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Well, I have experienced the same things in terms of limits turning to favorites.  I haven't tried needles, but I have always had a big fear of them.  The Master I serve has a hard limit here also.  He considers it damage to His property. 

I can understand why this would work, and while I have both tattoos and piercings, there is just something about needle play that makes me queasy.

(in reply to Nikolette)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/13/2007 1:39:46 AM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

I wasn't always a pain slut - I became one.  I used to hit subspace easily with a simple spanking.  Then it came to a beating.  I can't hit subspace anymore from that.  I still enjoy the stimulation, but it's like sex without orgasm.  Good, but not great. 

Any ideas on where to go from here?  I have limits of breath, blood, and potty play, along with plenty some others.  Has anyone run into this?  What types of play did you try to help you get back to floating?


I think, perhaps, you lost touch with the moment. Many people do. Like with a spring/summer sprinkle, people cover up and duck for cover. How often do you see people stop, feel the rain on their faces, and relish the pleasure of it all? They are so far removed from the moment they cannot feel the pleasure of the simple things.
 
Slurp!

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/15/2007 9:58:35 PM   
jayded34


Posts: 293
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

I find if I take a break from scening for about a month my tolerances go way down.
Maybe take a break for a month and the heavier play won't have to be so heavy for you to get to floating again once you start again.
LOL if not Midori just bloged the other day she cut a sub with paper cuts between her toes and then poured lemon juice in them.
That definately sounds ouchy.
suzanne



Yikes!

_____________________________

You don't love a woman because she's beautiful,
She is beautiful because you love her.
~ by Anonymous ~

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
~ by Lao Tzu ~

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/15/2007 10:06:31 PM   
malvakai


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/15/2007
Status: offline 		Try this, it works for me:

"I am not allowed to get to subspace." (or orgasm, or whatever)

It's all about creating the right resistance. Don't say "I can't get to ___" because you will make that come true.


(in reply to jayded34)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/15/2007 10:49:31 PM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		Subspace can be intentionally invoked, independent of external stimuli.

Subspace is a form of transcendence. Thruought history, there have been two basic approaches towards achieving the experience -- extroverted and introverted, or shamanic and meditative. BDSM is simply another path to creating a particular state of brain chemistry. Many consider that to be a spiritual quest.

If you find fulfillment in the experience, rather than in the process of pain, look within where the state is experienced.

(in reply to malvakai)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/15/2007 11:02:36 PM   
santalia


Posts: 142
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings

i once had a hard time achieving subspace. i kept getting caught up in how whatever the Top was doing hurt or tickled and was not able to move on to float. He stopped and got on one knee before me (i was on the spanking bench) and began stroking my arms and talked in a soft soothing voice, telling me to close my eyes and envision a place that was somewhere i enjoyed being, such as the beach. He told me to hear the waves, feel the wind and water and keep ahold of this as he continued with the scene. It worked. It calmed my physical reactions and i was able to slip towards subspace. i didn't float very long or very deeply as it was near the close of the playspace we were in and the friend i'd driven down with and i would need to head home soon after.

Perhaps if you try something like this, you might be able to achieve subspace again?

Well wishes

-santalia{JR}t

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/16/2007 2:34:47 AM   
sexyone4you


Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you for all of your suggestions.  I have lots to try over the next few sessions. 

(in reply to santalia)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/16/2007 2:47:52 AM   
UntamedStar


Posts: 42
Joined: 5/3/2006
Status: offline 		*Looks forward to finding 'subspace'..one day*

< Message edited by UntamedStar -- 4/16/2007 2:48:20 AM >

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! - 4/16/2007 5:15:07 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I’m going to point out the obvious here. You are reaching a pain tolerance. I suppose you are going to talk with your Dom about not being able to reach subspace and are only throwing it out here for ideas. (Exactly what subspace is can be debated, but I have a heavy scientific background and have researched the subject because I have an interest being a Dom, obviously. The following explanation works for me until I’m shown a better one.)

You have to let the catecholamines build enough to produce a sympathetic nervous system fight of flight reaction and the resulting vagal response (spacing) after your body can’t withstand the continued sympathetic stimulation. It is common for submissives to reach a tolerance for pain with a certain activity and to need more or a longer endured pain. There have been more than a few posts of subs explaining how their tolerance grew and they required more.

If you both love flogging/spanking and want to stick with those, I would suggest a longer buildup with crescendo type rhythms. You build the endorphins higher and higher until you finally reach the desired level. The other option is to introduce “harder” toys that elicit more or a response. In any case, I hope you two find your solution because it really is something you have to work on together.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Hitting subspace - I can't get there anymore! Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.156