RE: How To

RE: How To (Full Version)

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DommeChains -> RE: How To (4/9/2007 9:36:04 PM)
Two routes to deal with this seemingly seething mixture of frustration, anxiety, horniness and wanting of your Master's lust (if I am reading this correctly lol) Physical distraction: whatever your current health state will allow: exercise that gets your pulse higher, pacing (mixed with nice ranting can be a marvelous way to vent...seriously), cleaning.....etc. Or something that engages your mind so fully that you will not be able to dwell on your frustration. For me an intricate puzzle game or writing or a movie either so absurd I have to laugh or so sad I have to cry. After I have done one of the above then I can deal internally with the emotional pain without wanting to claw my eyes-or his-out. Hope this helps.

TigressFL -> RE: How To (4/9/2007 9:36:09 PM)
Your arrogance and belittling of others simply shows that you have much worse problems than not having sex. I suggest you seek a mental health professional and fast before you alienate everyone that encounters you.

Elorin -> RE: How To (4/10/2007 5:05:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister Elorin - i've tried abit as it is. i ended up just seperating myself off from everyone and doing laundry. He actually uses the controlled breathing thing with me.. mostly for when i'm upset and holding my breath or bawling and unable to stop. i'll take the suggestions i have here.. thanks for the advice. Yeah, i'd of not brought it here, except writing in a journal about it wouldnt give me any ideas. Guess there isnt any cure all like in the movie Far and Away eh? I'll have to try the various ideas presented. No cure all for hormones on the rage, no cure all for sexual frustration. However, if lashing out feels like it'd help, go in the bedroom, close the door, and beat the hell out of a stuffed animal or pillow. Throttle something. Get a can of tennis balls and throw them at something safe over and over again (the thud is pretty satisfying). I know when my hormones were fucked up and I had uncontrollable anger (not sexual frustration) I got at LOT of satisfaction out of breaking glass, but there aren't that many places you can just throw glasses and mugs safely, not to mention having to clean it up when you get done. Plus the cost of buying glassware (though if this appeals and you have a place to break them, glassware is cheap at GoodWill). There was no intention of criticizing a forum post, just saying that a journal that no one reads you can express everything you are feeling clearly and unambiguously...at length if necessary, and safely. This post is great, getting suggestions...and one of them is to probe the emotional pain with pen/pencil tip in writing. (Bad metaphor for the net, I know.) I use livejournal.com - which also gives you the choice to share with others that you trust, who can read and leave supportive comments, letting you know you aren't alone. ~E

bigdaninwi -> RE: How To (4/10/2007 6:04:14 AM)
First of all thank you Devilslilsister for the thoughtful post, while I have enjoyed the thoughtful posts I also noticed how little Eastern Philosophy has crept into our thoughts on this subject. A core principle of Tantra and some enlighten paths of Eastern Religions is that sexual tension and energy can be channeled an used to heal various parts of the body. Many Eastern Philosophies and Religions hold that men should not ejaculate but rather take that precious healing fluid and move it to other parts of their body and ultimately to their mind. Having read many of Lucky Albatross's posts in the past, I know that she is very enlighten in this matters...So Lilsister I encourage you to use this time to refresh and cleanse your inner self. Take these feelings and excited periods an channel them to areas that need attention. Learn about your body, run your inner mind over these feelings. Welcome them and understand them what areas do they naturally influence? What areas can you send them so that your body becomes alive with sensation. It is only by understanding these feelings can you learn what turns you on, what new places can be touched and give you heightened sensations of euphoria. Embrace the wonderful gift of a body orgasm and feel every cell in your body awaken. When I met Amuzingtoyou, she was coming off a bad relationship. I vowed not to have sex until we had sex together. We played..we teased..we enjoyed each other..yes, I would masturbate like hell and stop. I showed her the joys of actual physical control! When the time is right we will re-engage in these practices because the body becomes soft when it is fed too much of anything.

LotusSong -> RE: How To (4/10/2007 7:24:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister Any other suggestions? Chocolate.

Celeste43 -> RE: How To (4/10/2007 11:16:57 AM)
I'm sorry, I didn't put it all together because your first post wasn't clear. All I can say is ouch. And that telling a pregnant woman that you don't want her physically had better be done with tact and kindness, such as "I know the doctor said it's safe but I don't feel like it can be". Because anything else gets interpreted as him telling you that you're fat and ugly and that hurts. D/s or not, he needs to do some reading of how women react in pregnancy. Unless of course he wants you to feel worthless and unloved.

Devilslilsister -> RE: How To (4/10/2007 1:30:11 PM)
LOL Lotus, since it just being Easter i have an amazing supply of it now = ) Domme - i'll try the exercise the next time it occurs. I did the ranting abit and it did help, but ultimetly i seperated myself off and just cleaned. Dont know if i'd be ablet o engage the mind fully into something else, but i appreciate the suggestions and will try it. Elorin - i appreciate the suggestions too. Technically i'm not allowed to "lash out" and i'm definetly not allowed to go around breaking glass. Used to do that when i was younger actually, but i get alittle carried away and tend to smash it with my own fists. He definetly would NOT allow that. ::smiles:: if it was allowed - i'd of been RIGHT on it. Hence the wanting to hit walls, which of course, is also not allowed. I understand about the journal thing. I do have live journal, but alot of my friends from all over happen to read it... and well... inner frustrations like this i dont discuss with friends. I know there's a private button too.... and i have used it. About 4/5 of my journal is private, but anywho. bigdani - thanks for the suggestion, i'll have to work on making that work as well. Celeste - no worries. i understand about what he "should" say, but honestly i'd rather hear the truth. Plus, lying to me is a really hard thing to do and if he had lied, i'd of caught it. On top of that, i already knew. i could sense it - when people feel/believe a certian way its pretty easy to watch their actions and their off handed words and put the pieces together. His only option was to lie straight to my face. The truth hurts, but lies hurt more. i'm okay about it. We have already discussed it and i'm not hurt, just trying to deal with the facts. He did the right thing. Atleast, he did the right thing by me. Thank you all for the suggestions - i will employ them. For the rest of you - blah blah blah blah

CandleInTheWind -> RE: How To (4/10/2007 3:03:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister One - i'm actually allowed to masterbate. DOESNT fricken help. Master suggested i do that and i promptly notified him that if it would have worked... i'd of been right on it. Unfortunetly its not the whole orgasm thing, i think, its that like my body is literally screaming for him. ::sigh:: i ran a list down to him about what excatly it was screaming for. Can YOU believe that he was going to call a FRIEND to fix my "problem". Humilation 101 - call your friends and let them know the state of your girl. Evil.. wicked... mean... not that he said anything, but still. ::sigh:: it was terrible. i was even reduced to telling him that i was going to have to start raping random men on the street. He thought that funny as well. Celeste, i've been trying to get to where you get. Been working hard on it and i was doing a damn good job of it. Then he touched me. evil... wicked... Gawd, if only i could completely shut it off like it used to be. ::sigh:: all it does is make me angry. Michael, i understand what you think of her advise and i'm glad that works for you. In my circumstance, she doesnt have all the facts so all that she is doing is assuming. The facts arent important here as i asked a question. i asked "how do.........." Unfortunetly half of you want to read in and are reading in wrong, because most of you cant figure out how to answer a simple question. Thats all there was too it. i suppose, i expected too much of this place. My bad. i'll try the breathing and doing pushups - thanks for the suggestions My dear ittle sister.....hormones in the delicate condition you are in wreck havok upon our physical needs. I honestly understand completely about "dancing with myself" not doing the job...in my case Im a multi girl and well by the time i run out of batteries im just gettting going...It is for me ot about the action it is abotu the INTERACTION! Im assuming you feel as though your body litereally aches to be touched and that is a condition that only some of us can relate to. You are in a hormonally enhanced way, you are in an emotionally charged state, you have a major life's change coming and believe it or not......I have actually been the happiest and felt the most emotiaonally and physically relaxed and satisfied state with a man that had profound "ED" he was unable to have an erection and quite frankly we never consumated our relationship...but we were physically ad emotionally intimate. It was a relationship that i thoroughly enjoyed and savored...it was the one point in my life that i was chaste for more than 6 months and didn't twitch. Of course there are days now that I do twitch wishing to be touched and caressed. I just figured I would let you know that there is at least one person that understands the feeling. red

Celeste43 -> RE: How To (4/10/2007 3:54:46 PM)
My ex found my heavily pregnant state a turn off. He was as careful as possible to say it was him and not me, but it still hurt. What I'm not hearing from you and what would have been the best solution to my mind, is for him to offer, or you to ask, for him to use his hand and/or a toy on you. Hell, he could just hold you while you got yourself off which would still give you the closeness you need. How about tossing around other solutions like those with him?

Devilslilsister -> RE: How To (4/10/2007 5:43:18 PM)
Thank you Red for putting it into words. That is excatly it. It is the interaction. When i was in the state of utter.. uhhh... loss of dignity.. and i ran down a list to Master of excatly what i wanted... pretty much thats what was on the list. ::smiles:: and i even told hiim excatly how each area of my body needed to be touched. Yet intercourse wasnt really on my list. There were/are many things i'd like to touch on him... heh heh heh..... but GAHHHHHHHH. Yeah. ::smiles:: you are totally right in your assumption. i appreciate you putting it into words and understanding... i didnt quite get it myself. Never been down this road before. i can imagine how a relationship like that would work. Gawd. ::smiles:: i even spoke to Master about opening up our relationship - because i oddly know a few guys that would have no problem with the above. Alas, its not for me. But i'll make it through - its only hormones and its only for a short while. i tend to be very quiet about my "issues" in real life and i dont think that Master realised how difficult it was for me and my reaction this weekend suprised him alittle. Poor man. I dont think he'll start me up like that again unless he plans on going through with it....... but ya never can tell. They do what they want. Good to be prepared... very good idea to be prepared.... Celeste - the toy idea wouldnt work. Read what Red said. i'm sure we'll work it out, but in the mean time..... its good to do my own research. For the record, i was initially very hurt, but we worked it out. And now i'm okay = ) Wala!

bondageneko -> RE: How To (4/13/2007 6:43:54 AM)
Well Devilslilsister..this one can relate two rough pregnancies..rageing hormones that this one thought would drive her insane..odd when this one was pregnant she craved more intimacy than usual. Is hard to concentrate on reading when Your mind and body screams to be caressed..when all You think of is release..talking helps OMG it helps sweety..and laying it out in a forum or any other means that assists you then do it! Have learned it takes focus..which this one has some issues with still..a careing Master makes all the difference hun..and open communication is a must. This ones Master delights in teaseing her not allowing release..and watching her frustration her reactions..granted He is a loving Master as well and doesnt allow prolonged periods of abstinance..a day at most..no release just teaseing torment which at times is a welcomed addition and thought provoking when You focus on the events to come..other times omg this one needs to scream pull her hair throw things..get her mind off her Masters body His touch etc. that lilsister is a fete that even with years of experience is still darn difficult to pull off graciously..when Your soul has no other thought than to scream out "take me Master, pleaseeeee!" can be very overwhelming. If this one strayed "spank my evil ass please?"

Driver1961 -> RE: How To (4/13/2007 7:26:11 AM)
He dips His lid to all... Just a look in to the boards while I have a coupla days Easter beak... Firstly-Chocolate at room temperature. Secondly- communication with those that do not understand you promotes understanding. Thirdly- If you fail to communicate properly because of your 'lop-sided' cognitive state, DO NOT ABUSE THEM but reflect upon your own inadequacies then attempt better communication. (Excellent comments by L/A, KOM, Michael, BigDan and others that you refer to as "For the rest of you - blah blah blah blah") Fourthly- If all of this fails (which it appears your bleating infers) the suggestion that you see a Professional Health Worker is worthy. Lastly- Thankyou for this thread. I eagerly await the next (slow n' somewhat predictable) episoide. from a female public toilet wall, Like shit from a shanghai (Australia, New Zealand to shoot something with a slingshot) So are the days of our Sisters' lives! Smiles to all from an Aussie Blah blah blah...

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