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Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:11:28 PM   
myservicetoyou


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/18/2007
Status: offline 		How important to you is consistancy? Personally I find it very important that a potential be consistant in that they call when they say they will, do what they say they will and mean what they say and  say what they mean, this also tells me a lot about a person in general.  Someone who does not call when they say they will (repeatedly), someone who says one thing over and over yet has no follow through, to me this is part of trust and without that I can not submit or give myself to someone who is not consistant in both word and deed.  I understand that there are times that things happen, I am not talking about that, I am talking about being consistantly inconsistant.
Perhaps I am being a bit of a nit pick here but I would like to hear what others think and feel about consistancy and the role it plays in relationships.

Sorry if this has been posted before, but when I did a search I did not come up with anything, though I am  sure LA will post what I may have missed, she is good and a  wonderful resource too!!
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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:15:36 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Status: offline 		It's important to have a consistency of character.

My last owner loved to say he was consistent in his inconsistency- and this was very true.  It's simply who he was, he made no appeals about it, he laid it out openly and fully, so everyone knew what they were getting into beforehand.

The fact was there was so much other stuff that was so great, that his inconsistencies in everything else weren't too big a deal really.

That being said, generally I PREFER consistency, I simply learned how to deal without it so much.

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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:18:24 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		His consistency was one of the key things about him that captured and held my attention.  He did not waver from who he was, what he said, or the direction he gave.  Because of this, I could count on him.  I had never had a stable foundation in my life prior to knowing him.  His consistency - in who he is, in how he guided me - was a key element in creating the foundation of our relationship.  Without it, I could not have continued with him.  He took away the guess work, so all I had to do to submit to him was to overcome my own hurdles.  Those were hard enough!  Had he been inconsistent like previous doms had been, I would not have succeeded with him.  To this day, I count on it...it's like an undercurrent, always there, whether times are easy or difficult.  It's critical to our dynamic.

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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:19:01 PM   
MasterHyde


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		It seems to me the problems you are describing are more than just a lack of consistency. It's dishonest, even if it's not intentional, to say you're going to do something and not follow through. If you're involved with who doesn't call when he says he will, doesn't keep his promises, and doesn't do the things he told you he would do, then you have someone who is unreliable and untrustworthy. Perhaps even consistently so.

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A self-righteous, poly, dominant, possessive control freak with strong paternal tendencies and a sadistic inner child

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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:20:37 PM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It's important to have a consistency of character.


This was a great point.  One can be consistent yet still flexible to surrounding circumstancese.  Consistent does not equal rigid.  One can bend to adapt to a situation without bending one's integrity, character, principles and values. 

Clear as mud?

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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:22:38 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		um that is not nit picking....if some one breaks his word then his word means precious little to him....and it should mean even less to you.

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"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:23:58 PM   
crouchingtigress


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From: Maui
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quote:

If you're involved with who doesn't call when he says he will, doesn't keep his promises, and doesn't do the things he told you he would do, then you have someone who is unreliable and untrustworthy. Perhaps even consistently so.


boom goes the dynomite.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:24:02 PM   
FukinTroll


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

um that is not nit picking....if some one breaks his word then his word means precious little to him....and it should mean even less to you.


Which is why I always say: Insert lie here ______________ that will get you naked.

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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:25:04 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		or her...............

when it comes to milestones like this, lets keep it gender neutral.

Bubba


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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:31:38 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I think consistency is important, but at the same time I sometimes suffer from a lack thereof. But my reasoning is that I'm somewhat of a scattered intellectual academic. I really feel that I think in a different way than most other people, and as a result, my mind wanders in different directions, and I'm sometimes driven by distraction, but not in the typical, stereotypical ADHD fashion, but in a sense of thinking deeply about some things so that the here and now is sometimes put aside as I'm tackling a problem that in my head needs to be solved, even if coming up with a theoretical foundation for a solution.

In daily life, I try very hard to maintain consistency, but people who know me also know to account for consistency with a bit of a top spin to it. In values, morals and beliefs, I'm very consistent, but when it comes to daily things, sometimes I'm solid as a rock; other times, let's just say that I manage to get things done.


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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:33:53 PM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

um that is not nit picking....if some one breaks his word then his word means precious little to him....and it should mean even less to you.


Yet I don't see this as an absolute.  There are times when life changes and circumstances change and ones word must change to fit the circumstance.  Mind you, if this was a bit of a habit, that's a different story.  But due to some of my own experiences, I hesitate to rush into immediate judgment if something changes.  I've seen that happen with people, and the result was not good.

Of course "communicate, communicate, communicate" goes a long way here. :)

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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:34:29 PM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		I believe consistancy is essential, IMO it'd be extremely difficult to trust a person who isn't consistant.

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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:36:11 PM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		My partner is probably the most inconsistent man I know and sometimes it drives me crazy but I forgive him because love is always strong enough to forgive. I don’t look at it as being dishonest because he has such a crazy lifestyle that sometimes its almost impossible for him to carry out what he has previously said he will.
He also has aspergers which means he can become very focused on one thing and unintentionally disregard everything else.
So long as he remains to have a good heart and good intentions then I will put up with his inconsistencies for as long as I have to!

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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:47:33 PM   
wfsubseeking1


Posts: 88
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		i definitely need consistancy because if They aren't consistant i question Their honesty.

seeking

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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 12:49:02 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie Yet I don't see this as an absolute.  


me neither, and to ad insult to injury although i know the above to be true, the whole "if his word means so little to him then it should mean even less to you" it did not stop me from falling really really hard for a guy this month who always did the i am going to call you and never did when he said...as we speak right now he is texting me...trying to hang out....but even though i like him, and this island has like mabey on a good day 5 kinksters, and he likes pony play, after about the 6th time of no shows/no calls, i have learned to not text back because its just going to make me feel stupid and desperate if i allow him back when hurts me again....

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 1:11:50 PM   
ownedgirlie


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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress
after about the 6th time of no shows/no calls, 


That's different than changing an understanding based on life's circumstances.  That's consistently unreliable, which would cause my interest to fade rather quickly, particularly in the beginnings of communications with someone.

Consistency is a tricky thing.  It establishes credibility, confidence and trust.  While there are understandable exceptions to consistency, I believe that should be a rare occurance, and not the norm.

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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 1:13:28 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I LOVE the new picture.

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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 1:14:01 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		nope, that is consistant, he ain't showing.

Ron


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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 1:14:36 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		yeah it is not my finest hour.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Consistancy? - 4/8/2007 1:15:58 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		*perks back up*....thanks bandit.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to crouchingtigress)
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