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R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/5/2007 1:54:45 PM   
maybemaybenot


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Status: offline 		http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7006961330

I became a New England Patriots fan in the mid 70's when I moved here from Phila. I watched Darryl's short rise and promising future end suddenly. I actually met him a few times before his injury. He  had a great personality and an even better sense of humor. He and Russ Francis used to frequent a saloon that I also went to and they were quite the pair. I was a student nurse back then and they were very cool to us. The saloon I mentioned was a local hangout for we student nurses and interns, and also the Patriot players. The two of them met us in Boston the night before our state boards and had a little celebration/good luck shin dig for us at Fanuel Hall.
I have followed his post injury life, and have stood in awe of a man who had every right to be bitter and hold grudges, but instead turned everything that happened to him into a positive and gave soo much more of himself to the community and the world.
I heard the news today on my way to work and cried. The world and more specifically Chicago's West Side has lost a great human being. He didn't get the notariety that Christopher Reeves got for spinal chord injury, but he queitly gave gave more of himself than he needed to.

God Bless you, Darryl Stingley, may you rest in peace.

                            mbmbn



_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.
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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/5/2007 2:18:58 PM   
wfsubseeking1


Posts: 88
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		Such sad news.  He was an awesome athlete whose career was cut far too short.

seeking

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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/5/2007 3:22:29 PM   
Level


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Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Well said, the both of you. He was a good player, and more importantly, seemed to be a good man.



_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/5/2007 7:17:44 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		I was at the game, endzone seats, and saw him turn into a rag doll mid-air. I will never forget it.

May he rest in peace.

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~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/5/2007 7:42:16 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

I was at the game, endzone seats, and saw him turn into a rag doll mid-air. I will never forget it.

May he rest in peace.



Watched it on television.....One of the few Raider home games I didn't make that season. Stingley was indeed a great receiver, and stand-up guy with lots of heart.

Conversely, the dude that unloaded on him, Jack Tatum, is probably my favorite all-time NFL player next to LT.

In my honest opinion.....while the level of athleticism in the NFL continues to seem boundless, you just don't see players with the heart and soul of Stingley and Tatum anymore.Those boys came out to play.


- R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 4/5/2007 7:43:48 PM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/5/2007 7:50:41 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

I was at the game, endzone seats, and saw him turn into a rag doll mid-air. I will never forget it.

May he rest in peace.


They played it on Cold Pizza today and I had to turn my head away. I wasn't there, but remember it well and have not been able to watch the replays when they are shown.
Ron Borges < local Sportswriter> did an interview with Darryl at the time Tatum lost his leg to diabetes. Here is a little excerpt from it, I stand in awe of people who truely can fully forgive such indecencies commited against them. I would like to believe I could be " that person"  if I experienced a similar thing, but I really don't know if I could be.


I want everyone who reads your column to know, I still very much love the game of football," said Stingley. "I love everything about it except what's sometimes inevitable. Football never did anything to me in a negative way. It just happened to be an individual within the game who did something to me.
"One person deliberately hurt another person. That's the way the story was written by some. I respect anybody's point of view on it. I'm not in denial about it. There was an incident between us and he did write a book ['They Call Me Assassin'] and in it he said he went out there to hurt and maim people. He said that and it hurt to read it.
"But for me to go on and adapt to a new way of life, I had to forgive him. I couldn't be productive if my mind was clouded by revenge or animosity. Early on there were a lot of questions in my mind. Questions about life in general. Questions if I would even live. But I have such a strong faith in God.

It's hard to articulate. It was a test of my faith. The entire story. In who, and how much, do you believe, Darryl? In my heart and in my mind I forgave Jack Tatum a long time ago. I take no pleasure in what has happened to him now. How could anyone feel pleasure in another man's pain?"

http://www.boston.com/sports/football/patriots/articles/2003/08/12/no_sting_of_bitterness/?page=3

                           mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/5/2007 8:09:16 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

[

Watched it on television.....One of the few Raider home games I didn't make that season. Stingley was indeed a great receiver, and stand-up guy with lots of heart.

Conversely, the dude that unloaded on him, Jack Tatum, is probably my favorite all-time NFL player next to LT.

In my honest opinion.....while the level of athleticism in the NFL continues to seem boundless, you just don't see players with the heart and soul of Stingley and Tatum anymore.Those boys came out to play.


- R


UR:

I would argue that Jack tatum has no heart and certainly no soul. For the sake of arguement lets say we wash away all the contoversy about illegal hit, legal hit etc and let's just agree that it was a horrific injury as a result of two passionate football players doing their job. A man with a heart and a soul at some point in 30 years would feel badly, perhaps even apologize, that he indirectly, accidently, incidently caused another man to be a quadriplegic.
Here is Tatums public statement, years later, about his hit/paralyzation of Darryl:

"I thought it was a good football play," Tatum once said. "I hit him with my head shoulder. I was just trying to do my job. It's unfortunate but it happens."

Add to that that he wanted to appear on a variety of news show to promote his book: Final Confessions of NFL Assasin Jack Tatum and he wanted to have Darryl be present on the show with him:  The man would agree to go on television as a self proclaimed assasin and wanted his victim to help him promote himself, but he couldn't find a simple phrase such as " I'm sorry this happened to you" in his vocabulary. I'm sorry, I see no heart, nor a soul in that man.

                         mbmbn

< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 4/5/2007 8:12:28 PM >

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/5/2007 8:14:03 PM   
KatyLied


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quote:

"But for me to go on and adapt to a new way of life, I had to forgive him. I couldn't be productive if my mind was clouded by revenge or animosity.


Wow.  Thanks for sharing this.  May he rest in peace.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/5/2007 11:55:22 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:


UR:

I would argue that Jack tatum has no heart and certainly no soul. For the sake of arguement lets say we wash away all the contoversy about illegal hit, legal hit etc and let's just agree that it was a horrific injury as a result of two passionate football players doing their job. A man with a heart and a soul at some point in 30 years would feel badly, perhaps even apologize, that he indirectly, accidently, incidently caused another man to be a quadriplegic.
Here is Tatums public statement, years later, about his hit/paralyzation of Darryl:

"I thought it was a good football play," Tatum once said. "I hit him with my head shoulder. I was just trying to do my job. It's unfortunate but it happens."

Add to that that he wanted to appear on a variety of news show to promote his book: Final Confessions of NFL Assasin Jack Tatum and he wanted to have Darryl be present on the show with him:  The man would agree to go on television as a self proclaimed assasin and wanted his victim to help him promote himself, but he couldn't find a simple phrase such as " I'm sorry this happened to you" in his vocabulary. I'm sorry, I see no heart, nor a soul in that man.

                         mbmbn


Although I partially agree with you, I don’t think you understand the ''Raider stigma'' for that time period.  

None of the players apologized for anything. They were brash like no other team in the history of the NFL. Didn’t matter if they knocked out some poor soul who picked a fight with one of them for the sake of notoriety during a night out on the town - they didn’t care, they didn't apologize. And the owner, Al Davis, with his motto  ''Just win baby'', didn’t apologize either. They were on a mission to intimidate.

Was it wrong of Tatum to act as though he did?  Without a doubt.....but he was a Raider.





- R

Edited to add :  John Madden was an exception to many of the Raiders and was deeply affected by the Stingly tragedy - It's probably one of the main reasons he retired.



< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 4/6/2007 12:36:47 AM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/6/2007 6:08:03 AM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
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I agree with you about Madden. He is and was a stand up guy. I think Darryl's injury changed Madden's life too and made him a better person, just as it did Darryl. There is a story Darryl told about Madden where he credits Madden for saving his life. I guess Madden was visiting him in the hospital and something went wrong with one of the machines  he was hooked up to. Darryl said Madden called for the nurses and that if he hadn't noticed or done that he would have died from choking. < I am paraphrasing, because I can't find a direct link. But Darryl told that story often about his friendship with Madden > The general consensus has always been that Madden left the Raiders as a direct result of the effect the incident had on him.

As for the " Raider stigma ", I suppose if I really tried I could accept that. BUT I would accept it based on youth and ignorance towards the human condition. But in almost 30 years to continually refuse to apologize or to see that perhaps it was not the intention, but it was the result of his actions and not feel one iota of sympathy or saddness that he had a part in it... well that isn't a Raiders Stigma < IMO>, it is a huge character flaw. And that is being polite.
Tatum was asked more than once about why he never apologized. I gave one example above, here are two others:

I'm not going to beg forgiveness. ... That was football. I was sorry that he got hurt. But to go out and apologize for the way I played football? That is never going to happen."

and from his book: "When the reality of Stingley's injury hit me with its full impact, I was shattered. To think that my tackle broke another man's neck and killed his future ... well, I know it hurts Darryl, but it hurts me too."

He wasn't shattered enough to make amends with his own demons however. It was all about himself. Therein lies the difference. Madden became a better human being for having experienced this and Tatum remains a self absorbed ** edit**.

I went a little off my own topic in these two posts and after having a day to absorb it, Stingleys death leaves me sadder than yesterday. Not because he was a football star, but because of  how he handled his life, the things he did to make his small part of the world a better place and because of his great spirit for living. And he never took the limelight about it, he just lived it every day. He created a foundation  to service at risk youth and underprivilidged youth in Chicago and he worked with other quads to help them accept their injury and learn to

I have read interviews with his children and I believe his spirit will be kept alive thru them and his works will continue thru them.

                                mbmbn

                                             mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/6/2007 9:11:51 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Here's a story on the Tatum/Stingley relationship, from Fox Sports:

"Raiders safety Jack Tatum never visited Darryl Stingley in the hospital. He never picked up the telephone, simply to talk. He forever believed that another of his hard hits — nothing dirty intended — paralyzed Stingley from the chest down in a meaningless preseason game in 1978. With Stingley's passing, Tatum has lost all chance to make peace with the man."

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/6648544

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/6/2007 12:50:07 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		Nice article, Level.  Thanx for sharing. 

                          mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/6/2007 2:37:20 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

Nice article, Level.  Thanx for sharing. 

                         mbmbn


You're welcome, my friend. Hope you (and everyone) has a good Easter weekend.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/6/2007 7:21:08 PM   
wfsubseeking1


Posts: 88
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		thank You for the link.  Jack Tatum and the whole "Raider mystique" are a totally different subject.

seeking

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RE: R.I.P. Darryl Stingley - 4/7/2007 3:47:37 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		One more Tatum/Stingley link, this one from a "don't fault Tatum" vantage point:

"Nearly 29 years after the fact and NFL fans are still missing the point.

It wasn't Jack Tatum who owed Darryl Stingley an apology. It was the football-crazed world that owed Stingley.
Stingley's death this week at age 55 is another reminder of that inconvenient truth. During an exhibition game in 1978, Tatum, then a safety with the Oakland Raiders, hit New England Patriots wide receiver Stingley. The hit left Stingley paralyzed for the remainder of his life. "

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=jc-tatum040607&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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