Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (Full Version)

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PantyhoseSlave4U -> Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 10:09:35 AM)

Ok, I've only sent this to two dommes so far. One was interested but she long since relocated from the area I live. The other one has read my message but not gotten back to me yet. Now, bare in mind, I'm not looking for a 24/7 live-in type in situation with this arrangement that I have in mind. It's only for once a week for a considerable length of time and the Mistress will be compensated on whichever rate she charges. So I don't see why any Mistress would pass up this opportunity, that is unless they express a certain disinterest in one of or all of the fetishes mentioned. But tell me what you think and if there's a different way I could write this:

Dear Mistress ______,

Hello, how are you? I'm a sub male who lives in NYC and am searching for a pro-domme who is interested in a mutually beneficial chastity arrangement. You'll come to find that my strengths are in my obedience and loyalness, I'm a pure submissive who believes totally in female supremacy.

I have a rather special short-long term chastity agreement that is mutually beneficial and I'd like to purpose it to you. But before I get into that, I think it is only fair I'd let you know my interests/fetishes ahead of time:

Pantyhose fetish, pantyhose bondage and encasement, blindfolds, mummification, latex, spandex, teasing and denial, orgasm control, chastity/abstinence, body worship, leg worship, ass worship, stocking/foot worship, western bondage, japanese bondage, facesitting, smothering, abandonment, and spanking. I'm not looking to get into anything very painful or intense, however if you have anything you'd like to incorporate, I'm very open-minded to hearing. Please let me know if you are uncomfortable with any of the above I mentioned, I'm willing to work with you.

So here's the idea: First I would like to book a regular session with you, one that lasts an hour and 30 min. The agenda of this initial session is for you to put me in pantyhose bondage and make sure I stay in it until the session is over. If all goes as planned and I'm still trapped by the time is over, you leave me restrained as you put me in chastity and you don't release me until you're done hiding the key. From there on, once every week (usually for an hour), we'll session again and this will be the only time I'm released from chastity -- in your presence. However, I will be restrained whenever the device is off, so therefore there will be no escape from it and I really want there to be no escape. The session(s) will mostly consist of the fetishes I mentioned above. Here is the catch: Your goal is to keep me from cumming, period. You're making sure I don't experience any sexual satisfaction whatsoever. You may bring me to the point then stop or you just may tease and deny me as you please.

But that is only IF I'm not able to escape your bondage. You have the right, at any time you see me escaping or attempting to escape, to redo my restraints and stop me. If I do escape though, it will be a one-time session, for now at least.

If you're interested in doing this, I would like to create a 3 month contract (to start with) and show it to you for your approval first. Once the 3 months is over, we could talk about extending it. I guess you can say it is, in a way, a form of financial domination mixed with chastity since I'll be seeing you every week and you would be receiving a weekly residual from myself.

Nevertheless, please write me back at your earliest convenience. I'm looking forward. Thank you.


S.B.

So what does everyone think? Maybe it's not the idea, but the way that I write it that may turn a domme off? I mean which domme would not love something like this: 1) Mutually beneficial; 2) Once a week (aka receiving a weekly residual from myself); 3) Not asking for sex; 4) No 24/7 or live-in situation. Not to mention, it is, in a way, a form of financial domination. Sort of.



thetammyjo -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 10:12:45 AM)

Since you mention prodommes in the letter I hope you are sending it only to professionals.

Also you say that you'll create a contract... I think this would turn off both pros and us regular dominant folks. People in the dom role tend to either have their own contracts or will want to work on one together.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 10:30:14 AM)

i dont see anything wrong except the fact that you sound awfully in control....and fettishitic...which is not a bad thing, but it often spells out a lot of work fro the professional because she would much rather do things her way, also for your concideration: i personally dont like escape artists...to me it puts both people on opposite sides, and does not foster intimate union of body's and minds....

and you dont put much in to what you will do for her besides money...nothing wrong with that either...but you appear to be needy and demanding instead offering ways for her to make her life better.

she is a pro, so yes money factors into it, but she is also inundated with applicants most likely and she will choose the ones that seem like the least amount of work, and are there to serve her...to make her life better.

i would rewrite the letter...offering your self as some one who can make her life better..and .who asks her to draw the contracts if there are to be any...the escape stuff other folks might like so i have no input there....but i will say shorten the letter...no one likes to read big letters from strangers.



mythi -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 10:32:21 AM)

That seems like quite a specific list of 'demands' for someone who's "a pure submissive who believes totally in female supremacy"...

I realize you're looking for a pro to pay for these services, but if I had any advice I'd suggest trying to make your letter a little less self-focusing and more of a sales pitch as to why she'd want to take your money in particular.  Show her how and why she would enjoy spending time with you.  We all want to enjoy our work after all. [;)]



AAkasha -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 10:32:33 AM)

You are approaching professionals with this request which is the correct thing to do. However, you are expecting them to work out a contract with you and get into all this detail before they see a dollar.  So many subs are very into thinking about, fantasizing, jerking off about things and will drag it out for days, weeks and never show up for a session.

Just book a session and use the time of the session to discuss your idea. If she likes you, you go from there. You prove you are not wasting her time on drawing up an elaborate fantasy. A lot of guys are all talk.
Akasha



onestandingstill -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 10:33:46 AM)

I'm not a Domme but I just have to say that letter would totally turn me off if I was.
You state I want I want I want, and this is how I want you to do what I want.
I'd suggest you saving that letter as getting it up front would exclude you from someone who'd seem submissive to me at all.

If you want to see a pro Domme I'm thinking keeping you in chastity for a week out of every month would be an expensive venture.
Good luck finding what you seek, I just don't think the letter's much of a benefit other than seeing your kinks.
suzanne



Najakcharmer -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 10:37:09 AM)

Back when I did the pro thing, I would consider that a reasonable and straightforward (if physically somewhat complex and demanding) request for a professional transaction.  I would have agreed to this scenario, with the caveat that pantyhose bondage alone is likely to be unsafely constricting around parts that shouldn't be constricted (eg, your wrists, your neck, etc) and for your safety I would need to use a different material in those areas.  Second caveat being no direct sexual contact in a pro session.

You're definitely going to need to visit a pro and pay her well, because what you want is complicated and difficult and takes a lot of setup time and material.  I can't speak for every single domme, but I personally would not be willing to play with you on a non-pro basis, because your fantasy is so demanding and specific that it leaves no room for me to relax and enjoy myself, or even to be particularly dominant.  What you're hiring here is an actress who can perform to your specification, and while the technical challenge would be professionally interesting enough to keep me mildly amused while meeting it, it is not a particularly dominant/submissive interaction.  You're not submitting, you're getting a laundry list of specific things done to you at your request.  There is nothing wrong with that in a pro session, but you're going to have a hard time getting a date with a non-pro I suspect.



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 10:41:00 AM)

well first off if you're simply pasting that to every pro you contact, I certaintly wouldn't find it sincere or original, and second not every domme believes in female supremacy.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 10:41:02 AM)

If you sent this to me, as a non-Pro, I'd be offended at being asked to cater to you and your fetishes, especially with the offer of "compensation". While I whole heartedly agree that there is a place for Pros, I personally I find it offensive that you think I can be bought. I want service because you find it meaningful to serve me, not because you can pay me. I wouldn't like that you went on and on about all your fetishes...and said or knew nothing about mine or even gave any indication that you cared about such. The letter is all about you and want you want and you don't give a damn about me.

If I were Pro, I'd be totally confused by what it is, exactly, that you want. You first say that you want a chastity arrangement, then you say you want regular sessions with pantyhose bondage. Pick one or state that you have two. Make sure they understand that you appreciate them as a professional and as a woman. Indicate why I was interested in a session with her, as a person (i.e. READ her profile and indicate that you have done such). Be brief about the kind of session you're looking for initially then simply ask what their going rates are for different kinds of sessions.

In all honesty, you might do better simply looking up and calling the Pros in your area. Be professional yourself and ask about the business side before you spout off your fantasies. Even a Pro can think its creepy (and annoying) that some stranger guy is contacting her and beginning with "I want you to do X to me." http://www.maxfisch.com/ is an excellent place to start.

Master Fire



MsKatHouston -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 10:41:33 AM)

quote:

Your goal is to keep me from cumming, period. You're making sure I don't experience any sexual satisfaction whatsoever. You may bring me to the point then stop or you just may tease and deny me as you please.


Aside from what has already been mentioned, I would be careful about the part in bold.  Most pro dommes will not partake in sexual activity so depending on what you consider "bring to the point"...this may not be possible with reputable pros.



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 10:43:31 AM)

plus outlinine everything you will do and want to do is not submission. Please learn the difference between submissive submission and calling the shots with a pro going along with your every desire. And as someone else already mentioned pro's won't usualy engage clients in sex acts. so you're whole keep me from jacking off fantasy is just that a fantasy. Their not going to play w/ith your dick and give you blue balls.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 10:43:43 AM)

*hopes pantyslave comes back to this thread*



OhBeMyMind -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 12:32:44 PM)

~Fast Reply~
Someone please correct me if I am wrong......but if he is paying for it, shouldn't he get what he is paying for....what he wants????
ProDominants are providing a service, correct?
I just sit here thinking...irrelevant to some I am sure.....but, if I go to a restaurant and order steak, I do not expect to be served chicken....and I would expect that steak to be prepared to my specification....rare, medium, well done whatever...because I am paying for it.
I, personally, see nothing wrong with the letter, and if he were to send it to someone that was not advertised as Pro, I see nothing wrong with that either, some non-pro could be sparked by interest and see it as an opportunity to make some toy money....if that non pro is not interested then they will not reply or can simply say not interested.
It is highly possible that I am out of bounds here, but that is just how I see it.  I look forward to reading other opinions on this topic.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 12:41:06 PM)

i hear you obe, but he is asking for advice on how to get his needs met....he is asking for an elaborate fantasy that is a lot of work...i am sure in his fantasy she is loving doing this and having a great old time following his instructions to the letter....but in real life doms would rather do stuff that is fun for them too and not so much work....he is young and may not realize that he is compromising his efforts severely and so we are pointing out the flaws so that he has the best shot at getting his needs met.

plus there are folks who he could find to do this for him for a price and they will do it to the letter...but they most likely wont have the years of understanding and skill to make his experience enjoyable or safe....what he wants is pretty advanced, i would not trust it to just anyone who needs some extra cash.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 12:43:29 PM)

Of course he should get what he wants. But, if you went to a restaurant and didn't follow the normal procedure of waiting to be seated, meeting the waiter, ordering your drink and appetizer, then ordering your steak, they'd be highly offended. You don't just march in, grab the first waitress you see and demand steak. People in the service industry deserve respect and quality treatment, no matter what service is being provided.

Master Fire



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 12:46:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

quote:

Your goal is to keep me from cumming, period. You're making sure I don't experience any sexual satisfaction whatsoever. You may bring me to the point then stop or you just may tease and deny me as you please.


Aside from what has already been mentioned, I would be careful about the part in bold.  Most pro dommes will not partake in sexual activity so depending on what you consider "bring to the point"...this may not be possible with reputable pros.



That caught my eye, Kat, especially because he later says:

 
quote:



3) Not asking for sex;

 



I think he's a little unclear on what sexual contact actually is.

I'm not a pro - and yes, such a request needs to be filtered through prodommes - but I'd find this extremely off-putting, because it has nothing to do with Dominance and submission, but rather acting out a specific script.  You might find some pros willing to do this.   But I'm going to guess that you'll end up finding that neither one of you will get much out of it because it's so contrived.



PantyhoseSlave4U -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 12:58:51 PM)

Ok, how is this:

Dear Mistress _______,

(I'm going to skip over the introductory part, because that will be based on the domme and what I read in her profile)

I will tell you straight out that I am not looking to engage in any sexual activities and that I understand the boundaries of a Domme and a Slave.

I don't want to write you a very long letter so I will try my best to be as brief as possible for now. I was wondering if perhaps you would be interested in a mutually beneficial, short to long-term, arrangement that basically involves chastity, teasing and denial, and pantyhose bondage.

If it suits your fancy, I would like to book a session with you just to discuss this arrangement in more detail. However, if you wish to discuss it online instead, I completely understand. Either way, if all goes well and this sounds good to you after we've discussed it, I would like to help work on a contract with you.

I am also interested in seeing in what other ways I could help benefit you in this arrangement outside of my compensation (i.e. be it through housework, etc.). Please contact me at your earliest convenience. I'm looking forward to speaking with you. Thank you.

S.B.

P.S. By the way, what are your typical rates for sessions?



MsKatHouston -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 1:01:36 PM)

Fast reply

The pros I know also tend to work without a script.  They certainly ask about preferences and fantasies but do not go with a specific script such as what you have in mind.  Perhaps you would have more luck if you were a bit less rigid in your expectations of the particular scene.  I think there are some points that are important to make but to require precisely the scenario as scripted might be off putting to some pros.

I would contact some of the local pros and ask them point blank how they prefer to do things.  I am sure where you are there are publications where you can find pro doms.  Also, if involved in your local scene, you can get recommendations. 



MsKatHouston -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 1:02:58 PM)

oops posted that prior to reading your last one.  That letter sounds much better IMO.  Have you tried picking up the phone too and calling some of the locals?



onestandingstill -> RE: Do you see anything wrong with this particular arrangement? (4/3/2007 1:26:27 PM)

Much better and less demanding.
Good Job.
I think compared to the other one it's a much better introductory letter.
suzanne



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