RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? (Full Version)

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Rumtiger -> RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? (4/1/2007 5:24:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

An item of curiosity for those with more varied experience than my own...

i view a fair amount of BDSM porn (okay, more than fair). And one thing i've noticed is that more Female Dominants than not tend to keep up almost a running monologue during a scene- what they're doing, what they're going to do next, how does the bottom feel, sometimes verbal abuse, etc.


I've seen that stuff too, personally if I had a mistress who talked like that I would begin laughing my ass off in her face, and if it was stupid enough I would begin my own dialouge as well.

Her: You cant reach? YOU CANT REACH!?
Me: uh...well no shit, your the one who chained me to the wall.

This isent to say i'm disobedient or a rebel or any such thing, but if something just seems so damn corny or stupid you can bet i'm gonna say or do something about it.

Any dialouge we have is actually suprisingly casual, which to me is just out there enough (while i'm getting roped up mind you) to balance out the world, when things get more active theres some teasing like if I growl in pain or something, and of course the typical long string of curses I throw when I get hit in a particular weak spot hard, none toward her of course.



SweetAndInnocent -> RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? (4/1/2007 5:53:19 PM)

I couldn't have said this better velvet.  The only form of communication that works for me is the forced, yes sir, of course sir.  However, I LOVE the sound of his voice growling in my ear, telling me what he is going to do, and how much what he is doing excites him.  I do believe my favorite words in the English language are now, "You're such a good slut".



DominaSmartass -> RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? (4/1/2007 6:11:56 PM)

Well that's porn for you! Think who the audience is. If it's femme dom then they are most likely catering to straight males and the sub males who watch that stuff tend to LOVE the verbal abuse that goes along with it.

Me personally? I am rather quiet during a scene unless something needs to be said. And then again it depends on what kind of scene. Sometimes they can get really loud and rambunctious but those are more rare than the ones where I am quiet. My main reason for prefering to keep quiet is that I don't like sounding like the dom in a porn flick. Ironic, huh?



Smythe -> RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? (4/1/2007 7:31:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Well that's porn for you! Think who the audience is. If it's femme dom then they are most likely catering to straight males and the sub males who watch that stuff tend to LOVE the verbal abuse that goes along with it.

Me personally? I am rather quiet during a scene unless something needs to be said. And then again it depends on what kind of scene. Sometimes they can get really loud and rambunctious but those are more rare than the ones where I am quiet. My main reason for prefering to keep quiet is that I don't like sounding like the dom in a porn flick. Ironic, huh?




I agree with this. I am pretty quiet unless I am giving instructions, mainly because I like to concentrate on what I am doing. What I generally dislike are the rhetorical questions that seem to occur in FemDom "scenes". I think there is a place for questions like that (Do you want it, baby? What does Mistress always tell you about that?") but they can be so overused.

Smythe






LadyHugs -> RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? (4/1/2007 9:12:26 PM)

Dear petdave, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In my mind's eyes I see, that there is no difference in communication levels between the gender/sex of male and female.
 
In my mind's eyes -- the communication can be most silent, letting the body language 'speak' as well as how the body temperatures change in stages of going up into sub-space/flying just as much as they change coming down from flight/sub-space.  Communication can be felt by touch as well as moans, groans or a hum? or hum! by a dominant.  Communication can go entirely into a dialog back and forth, such as interrogation scenes.
 
It really comes down to the dialog the Dominant and submissive have.  Those new to each other will be more vocal (unless its an interrogation scene where words are required to make it work) and a salad bar of choices when words are the aids a dominant uses, as tools to support the direction of the submissive's focus and or redirection.  Additionally, those who might be communicating a lot; maybe be a new partnership and until the comfort and trust is there, the familiar is there; to which requires less oral conversations back and forth--It would be again, unfair to judge as it would lead to the assumption of what is taking place and or in what level.
 
It would be unfair, in my mind's eyes to pigeon hole the differences of communication just on gender/sex alone.  I rather see it on a case by case basis.  In addition, having scened with those with hearing and speach loss--sign language is language with words but, using the hands.
It could be in such cases I would speak volumes and yet, in the hearing world --nothing.
 
You also have personalities involved.  I've known some male dominants that really don't have a moment of silence in or out of the scene and can be quite the chatter box.  Women can be the same way. 
 
If talking to the scene aids a Dominant and or submissive, as to carry from beginning to end a safe scene--I am all for it.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 
 
 



Lordandmaster -> RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? (4/1/2007 9:20:02 PM)

Interesting.  True to form, I'm not much of a talker.  Every once in a while I might say something devastating in a soft tone of voice, but generally I avoid excess verbiage.

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

Male-dominated scenes, by comparison, usually have little to no speaking on the part of the Dom.



MaamJay -> RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? (4/2/2007 12:57:40 AM)

I'm with LadyHugs, it varies from scene to scene. As a Domme, I can be chillingly silent or incredibly chatty ... it depends on what I want to achieve and the sort of scene that it is. With a newbie, I tend to be talkative at the beginning, as I get their reactions and feedback, and get quieter as things progress. But I don't play-act, it's whatever comes naturally out of My mouth. And for all those subs who hate being made to talk when in subspace ... well for Me, it depends on what I want. I rather enjoy seeing them struggle to string two words together (or to count paddle strokes) when they are slip-sliding away. That's the sadistic part of Me coming out to play! And it also tells Me what's working for them, so it's then My decision where to take them. However, there are also times when I want My sub to go in really deep and then I will be quiet and let them slip away.

As a sub, i really don't mind. Master tends to be fairly quiet, but He does check on me regularly. And i love hearing Him speak softly to me, that can take me deeper. He has now got used to my subspace stages, and knows when i break up giggling He's onto a good thing LOL! Sometimes He's deliberately mean and starts firing questions at me when He knows i am so convulsed with laughter i can't speak. Other times, He just smiles and pursues what He was doing, knowing that soon the giggles will cease and i will become silent and spacy. Depends on His mood and i accept it is His right to do as He pleases, not necessarily what i might prefer at that time. (Isn't that the whole point of being sub or slave??)

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



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