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RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 10:17:56 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Interesting question, as he and I communicate a lot during these times, but rarely with words.  He might tell me where or how to move, and I might cry out to him in lust, laughter, love, desperation, etc...but we rarely carry conversation; I think that would be too distracting for both of us.  Sometimes we joke around.  Sometimes he says extremely demeaning things to me which launch me into another world.  But for the most part, we connect non-verbally.

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 10:25:22 AM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		The Voice is an instrument, and One can tell sooooo much about a man by what escapes from his lips when One suddenly whispers in his ear, 'Good dog...'  One never shouts or expresses anger, just a low, firm voice, and disapproval at most, followed by swift correction and explanation. 

I also  prefer a pup be verbal, as well as oral:   SOOOoooOO good, Mistress, so hard, so soft, so wet, so warm, please THERE, Mistress ;-) 

But one of My best pups was an extremely fit police officer who was a martial arts expert and runner, and had a very low heart rate and breathing rate.  He had been trained by his vanilla ex-wife to never make a sound during missionary-only intercourse, and until Released thought this was 'the norm'.  Except for his obvious and long-lasting erection, I had no idea how he felt, and it took U/us two more tries for Me to understand and Release his response and for him to understand what was expected of him and to Release.
So there I had been, doing increasingly exotic things to him to get a response, and he had been doing everything he could to keep his breathing regular and his mouth shut so I wouldn't stop.  Cross purposes until discussed in afterplay, but as I said, he became one of My best pups ever.
But still, what excited him the most was the nip of the neck, the merest touch in the dark and the whisper in his ear . . . 'Kneel...good dog!' 

(in reply to Hissltviolet)
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RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 11:13:48 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		i love being talked to during a scene, it brings me deeper into subspace but i don't like to have to talk i find it very distracting and it pulls me out of subspace. 

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to Tantriqu)
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RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 11:42:15 AM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam
This doesn't have anything to do with lifestyle and everything to do with simple, fundamental differences in how men and women communitcate and use language. Read Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars. Women, on average, just use more verbal words.

Master Fire



While i haven't read the book, i'm familiar with the concept... and that's actually what i was trying to address, roundabout-wise, as applies to the lifestyle (particularly the physical side)... i found it a somewhat amusing reinforcement of that theory that, when a woman is in charge of the scene, she will continue to use words as an outlet*, whereas a man will not... but what the posts on this thread seem to indicate is that subs of both genders often prefer not to communicate verbally during a scene.

There have been some very interesting and thoughtful responses here... thank you all


...dave

*Ha ha! You are my captive, and now you have no choice but to listen to me!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 11:53:08 AM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		i love it when He speaks words of love and ownership as He gives me pain. Always quietly, always gently.The sound of His voice takes me deeper and thus takes us deeper. He knows i am often unable to talk at this time and sometimes He takes great delight in making me respond verbally. Last night He told me that the single tail doesn't hurt, it was just helping me release the energy he wanted!!! Did i mention His sense of humour????? lol
hugs
c

(in reply to petdave)
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RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 11:55:58 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I rarely say much when doing a scene with my sub. I'm too busy concentrating on what I am doing and in my own domspace.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to petdave)
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RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 12:11:56 PM   
MasterHyde


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

Women, on average, just use more verbal words.


Just for clarification, what are verbal words? I read this as sort of redundant, but maybe there's another meaning I'm not aware of?

_____________________________

Master Hyde
A self-righteous, poly, dominant, possessive control freak with strong paternal tendencies and a sadistic inner child

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 12:16:28 PM   
DocTSH


Posts: 109
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		I'm not one for public scening myself, however kyra, I'd love to have been a fly on the wall there!  I was in tears reading what you wrote!
 
I remeber the night when I was just playing with my crop ( Colonel Klink style ) and having a conversation with some friends...the damn crop just snapped!  I'd never even used it that night.  From what I've been told, the look on my face was mastercard.

_____________________________

Doc

At times like these, I think of Socrates who said, " I drank what?" -Real Genius

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 12:18:24 PM   
CruelMistrezz


Posts: 26
Joined: 11/28/2006
Status: offline 		Within My scenes it just really depends on My mood and what is happening. Some experiences can be so passionate and erotic that I am just swimming in the activity. Taking in all the little noises and enjoying them. While at other times whispers escape My lips to taunt or to order My male.  My warm breath hitting his flesh adding to the sensations he is already experiencing. Perhaps even purposely jerking him out of sub space to push him further.  MsPatty

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 12:29:01 PM   
DocTSH


Posts: 109
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		Now that I have settled down from my chuckle...
I rarely talk to my little girl during a scene, except to ensure she is alright.  There are times  when I will to push her limits by telling her what might happen, and thats for me, simply for the pleasure I get out of her reaction.
 
I know Dommes that are very much into talking while in a scene.  I'm not sure if that is the sensual nature of a woman or just the ones I have known.

_____________________________

Doc

At times like these, I think of Socrates who said, " I drank what?" -Real Genius

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 12:30:57 PM   
Feliw


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: Panama
Status: offline 		well, i feel kinda bad cuz i cant comment too much for the lack of experiences, but if i was in a scene i would love to be verbaly abused and humilated, some movies have no monologues or dialoges at all, those movies are monotone and boring for me. sometime is good to keep a conversation with the mistress during the scene, you can even make some mistakes and she will give you an extra punishment, this is funny(in a submisive way)

(in reply to CruelMistrezz)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 1:28:19 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I had never really given it much consideration until I read along this thread, but yes, I guess I would be considered somewhat chatty, at least in certain parts of the scene.  I don't run a non-stop monolouge, but I do tend to talk more in the beginning, especially if it is directly related to punishment or humiliation.  As I progress, I get quieter and quieter as the senses are heightened.  The goes to both the volume of My voice as well as how much I speak.  I do know that when doing a public scene, I will speak more, as the viewers aren't getting the same sensations as those participating.

(in reply to Feliw)
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RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 2:06:25 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		Some verbal communication is usually necessary, and often a little more than the bare minimum can actually enhance the experience, if it's done in a natural-feeling way. Unfortunately, in my experience, a domme trying to maintain a monologue tends to detract from the experience by making it seem artificial. Think of really bad acting. It can be really bad if they attempt to use a really stern or seductive tone, and can't pull it off. Using common catch phrases just to fill the void also makes it feel really fake. I'd prefer the domme to use whatever comes naturally to her.

(in reply to Hissltviolet)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 2:12:19 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I can't shut up in a scene either.  Hell, I have done scenes where talking was almost the only interaction, well whispering actually.

(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 2:17:43 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		it depends on the scene.  Sometimes I am perfectly quite.  Other times I'm chatty as all get out.  Most of the time I am somewhere in between with some silence and some whispers in the ear.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 2:23:13 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		  As a male sub, I prefer not to talk during a scene. When I am in subspace, I’m really, really in subspace. I don’t communicate very well, and can’t form complete sentences. It’s embarrassing and frustrating to me to sound moronic and foolish.  

I do love the sound of my Domme’s voice while in submission. Whether taunting or reassuring, caring or cruel, I love to hear the voice of the person wo owns me. 

There is something to be said about being hooded and not hearing what’s coming or where she is though. Fear and the mental aspect of submission is an amazing thing.  

So I guess to recap, I don’t like talking, and love her talking or silent. :)


< Message edited by SlaveBlutarsky -- 4/1/2007 2:24:07 PM >

(in reply to Hissltviolet)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 3:39:33 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I can't shut up in a scene either.  Hell, I have done scenes where talking was almost the only interaction, well whispering actually.

Mmmm..  That pretty much does it for me!

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 4:26:07 PM   
BabyNyla


Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline
Hmmm ... when I dommed a few years ago I hardly ever spoke during a scene ... other than to ask them if they were doing okay or to give a command, such as to lower a leg, etc.
 
My husband is similar, in that when we scene he rarely talkes to me either.  Although he will sometimes say degrading things or make a few comments here and there.  I think for both of us the silence adds to the suspense of not knowing what's going on and creating a sense of *fear* (for lack of better word) in the sub's head (I know that's how it is for me anyways).


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My Journal

(in reply to Hissltviolet)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 4:53:54 PM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		Just remember the sexes have more similarities than differences, and Venus/Mars was written by a motivational speaker with no credentials except living with the Beatles' guru and another pop psychologist.  But from his narrow traditional vanilla precepts, he'd probably think Dommes are from the Martian side of Earth.  

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Talking during a scene? Male vs. Female Dominants? - 4/1/2007 5:11:48 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		Interesting thoughts.

I prefer to talk.  I have seen more women in public play than men.  I know they really tend to get into verbal scene as well as the physical.
The one male Dom I saw preform, was all about mouth and sex.   I cannot form an opinion on Male Dom scenes until I see a few in progress.
I know back when I was training online (4 years ago), the males could really dominante your mind.  I don't seem to have that ability. 
I think we all have good qualities and different qualities from each other.  It just basically depends upon the individual.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 40
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