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samboct -> RE: Guys...don't be scammed...How to tell? (3/31/2007 7:36:59 PM)
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This is my first post here, but since I think I was the victim of a scam- hopefully someone else can learn from my misfortune. Plus, I've just had one of those days- you know, like visiting my bro and his family in Brooklyn and coming out to find that somebody had tried to remove my poor beat up car's stereo (insult to injury)- amazingly all they got was the faceplate and they didn't make too much of a mess otherwise...OK enough digression.
A couple of points in general- although Hollywood and writers love to have scammers operate by taking advantage of peoples greed (The Sting, Hustle, The Saint..etc.) the reality is that most scams (certainly here) take advantage of some of the better characteristics of human beings, such as our desire to help those in difficulty. This leaves us with a conundrum- do we help someone in distress or are we so cynical that we always keep our wallet tightly tucked in our pants? (or in our handbag as case may be.) Look at the number of charities that operate deceptively where most of the money donated goes to the organizers rather than the individuals in need. Does this mean that we shouldn't give money to charity at all?
From my perspective- I don't want to be so hard bitten that I can't be scammed, because then I can't do my part in the world (and yes, I guess I've still got a bit of that idealism left in me, although after having the rug jerked out from under me for so long, it's a bloody miracle.)
So let me tell you how I was taken (I think-I give it better than 9 out of 10, but because it's not a certainty, the person shall remain anonymous-if I'm wrong, it would be an unpleasant violation of privacy.)
Woman on this board, no picture, but a description that sounded attractive to me- was only looking for men, and not youngsters. (question- if a scam-why limit it?) claimed that in order to weed out the wannabee's she wanted a one time tribute. Made sense to me- I know that mistresses on these boards get a lot of responses, many of them more rooted in fantasy than reality, but hey, a lot of BDSM IS fantasy, so that comes with the turf. So I responded to her- gave a description of who I was, said she was interested, next step was sending a tribute. She had it doped out- send an Amazon giftcard to her Yahoo address. I had been curious about this step- seemed to me that this was a weak link. Hell, I'll write somebody a check or even show up with cash to a meeting if that's what it takes to convince somebody that I'm for real and not a jerk- but this was pretty anonymous.
Note- the amount of tribute was unspecified- but it had to look respectable. (I don't remember her exact words.) So I threw in a C-note and got a very nicely written thank you. A week goes by, and not a peep, so I'm figuring scam. Then came a request for more info and the comment that her pop was in the hospital. At this point, I make the suggestion that with this going on in her life, perhaps my interest in her should be discarded, because she's clearly got a lot on her plate. In terms of the tribute- either send it back or donate it to charity- don't care which. She writes back and informs me her pop is doing OK, and she'd like to continue. Our email conversation is thoughtful and insightful, for the few exchanges that took place. That was 2 months ago and my last email (or three) has gone unresponded. Then I see that the moderators on this board have posted the suggestion that scams also took the form of asking for money for Amazon.com gift cards, never mind Western Union. Had they posted that a month earlier, I'd still have an extra $100 in my bank account.
So was she a scam? It certainly looks that way based on the fact that I'm out $$ and I've never even met this woman. Conversely, why the responses when she had the money in her account? Plus, it was a fair amount of effort to go through for a lousy $100. One part of me says- hey, at least she tried to earn it.
And the possibility that she's telling the truth- her pop was in the hospital, didn't make it, and she's not responding to anybody at this point. Losing a parent is tough, people react differently. Yes, in her shoes I would be trying to let people know that's what's going on, but again, people react differently under that stress, and hey, she's never met me- so how much does she owe me?
So I guess according to MsKatHouston- I'm the horrible warning.....(ROTFLMAO when I read that one....)
Regards,
Sam
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