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Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 12:58:44 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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Just been having a convo with a friend in msn about whether a post i had made was a little harsh!! The conclusion was that people on these threads tend to be too soft or too harsh but i also feel there are those who sit on the fence a little.
I've never really been one to pull punches and tend to say it how i see it. I know sometimes this makes me come across as a heartless bitch but it really isn't the case. I just believe that sugar coating things doesn't help anyone in the long run.
So my question is which way do you go in the threads?
Do you tell it how you see it, do you sit on the fence or do you tend to be over nice?
Also are you different in your r/l behaviour with these things?

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

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RE: Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 1:01:54 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
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In both real life and on the Net I try to find a balance between
between direct and blunt vs polite and helpful.

Some people work well with one methodolgy,
others need just the opposite.

YMMV,

Vendaval

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 2

RE: Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 1:30:06 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

I'm pretty much the same in real life..but then you can see my face and know how I mean something. I have been working on the skill of tact all my life and seem to not get the grasp of it :)

Ever since I learned that the quickest way to go between one point and another is a straight line, that's pretty much how I handle life in general. If I say green..someone will squeak.. "How come you didn't say blue"? So I just say what I wish to say in a condensed version. "a straight line" approach without all the fluff of "IMHO, JK, YMMV".

My attitude is "like it or lump it" , discuss it or not.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

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Post #: 3

RE: Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 1:36:46 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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When I was but a young Domiboy my father,Dom Corleone, sat me down and said, "Son, you are going to meet many stupid people in your life."...He then went on to say, "it is impolite to fart."...I haven't farted in over 30 years.

I hope this answers your question.

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Post #: 4

RE: Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 1:40:01 PM

Darias

Posts: 1757
Joined: 1/17/2006
From: midlands ireland
Status: offline

i know from My real life that i can and will Be brutally honest in response to most topics . I hate Liverpool FC and tell people so . I automatically dislike anyone who does not adore Buffy the vampire slayer and more specifically Sarah Michelle Gellar , and When someone is doing something I consider stupid I tend to tell them

for example i in one post dogged the OP of a certain * door mat submissive * related thread . one post then i carried on taking the piss .. why ? because to be honest people like that , who are obviously out here giving the rest of their ameoba family a bad name , are simply not worthy of my blood pressure

but Darias Yall are gonna say ... You dont really post serious posts so how can you say your always honest

Simple is my answer . im here for fun not to razz on ignorant people . oh sure if i see someone who hasnt got a clue ill call him or her on it but other than that ... pffft they aint my sub/dom so it isnt my job to educate them

anyway ... i do try when im not being a smart ass to be as honest and crtical of stupidity on here as i am in RL

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RE: Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 1:42:42 PM

missturbation

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My attitude is "like it or lump it" , discuss it or not.

Mine too but i have found a lot of people here who are way too sensitive for that kind of approach and wonder sometimes if i should water down my say it how i see it approach.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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Post #: 6

RE: Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 1:42:48 PM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Just been having a convo with a friend in msn about whether a post i had made was a little harsh!! The conclusion was that people on these threads tend to be too soft or too harsh but i also feel there are those who sit on the fence a little.
I've never really been one to pull punches and tend to say it how i see it. I know sometimes this makes me come across as a heartless bitch but it really isn't the case. I just believe that sugar coating things doesn't help anyone in the long run.
So my question is which way do you go in the threads?
Do you tell it how you see it, do you sit on the fence or do you tend to be over nice?
Also are you different in your r/l behaviour with these things?

I won't lie to the folks here.....if its business related, I'm selective and a tad bit more politically correct. But at the end of the day after all that political correctness.....I like to ''call them as I see them '' on a message board. And again I can't lie.....I love platitudes and rhetoric.

- R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 3/30/2007 1:48:06 PM >

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-General George S. Patton

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Post #: 7

RE: Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 1:43:50 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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Some people work well with one methodolgy,
others need just the opposite.

Hard to tell who needs what though sometimes lol.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 8

RE: Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 1:45:30 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

I automatically dislike anyone who does not adore Buffy the vampire slayer and more specifically Sarah Michelle Gellar ,
Awwwwww you dislike me - shame !!
She had the audacity to touch my david, she is a strumpet.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Darias)

Post #: 9

RE: Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 1:46:31 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

I like to ''call them as I see them '' on a message board.

I always thought of you as pretty diplomatic in the boards !!

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

Post #: 10

RE: Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 9:59:51 PM

NeedToUseYou

Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline

I either ignore the message, if I don't have the energy, time to reply, or just think the person is shit stirring. Or say what I want to say.

whoops forgot to answer the real life part.

Um, I find it nearly impossible if someone is talking to me in real life, not to give a direct honest answer. Some people like that, some think it makes me an asshole. Probably more think I'm an asshole. That's okay.., though. It's better than the alternative.

< Message edited by NeedToUseYou -- 3/30/2007 10:19:46 PM >

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Post #: 11

RE: Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 10:03:08 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Just been having a convo with a friend in msn about whether a post i had made was a little harsh!! The conclusion was that people on these threads tend to be too soft or too harsh but i also feel there are those who sit on the fence a little.
I've never really been one to pull punches and tend to say it how i see it. I know sometimes this makes me come across as a heartless bitch but it really isn't the case. I just believe that sugar coating things doesn't help anyone in the long run.
So my question is which way do you go in the threads?
Do you tell it how you see it, do you sit on the fence or do you tend to be over nice?
Also are you different in your r/l behaviour with these things?

Take that you!

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Greedy Groupie!

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Post #: 12

RE: Pulling punches!! - 3/30/2007 10:10:59 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

So my question is which way do you go in the threads?
Do you tell it how you see it, do you sit on the fence or do you tend to be over nice?
Also are you different in your r/l behaviour with these things?

That would depend on the topic and my mood. I am sure some think me harsh, some think me too empathetic, some think I am on the fence. I do not care what others think for the most part. I try to be helpful most of the time no matter how it comes off.

I do not know if I come off on here the way I am in life. I know that the sting would be taken out of some of what I say if people could see me and hear me when I say things. I love to laugh and will readily laugh at myself. I think that body language tells a lot about people and their intentions. I have never been called passive aggressive in the real world because basically I am a very honest emotionally speaking, and people sense this about me. All a person has to do is look at my body language to see this...I realize people reading my posts read them from their own particular vantage point, and their interpretation can at times have very little to do with my actual wording.. I guess this is why I do not take forums too seriously. I realize that people see the world and me based upon who they are, not who I am.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 13

RE: Pulling punches!! - 4/2/2007 11:33:50 PM

soultoshare

Posts: 519
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

I too am one of those who need to work on their tact.....I tend to call a spade a spade, and have sometimes inadvertantly stepped on a person's feelings. But watering down responses just isn't me. I'm getting better at taking the "SLAP!" factor out of them, but sometimes, a person just needs to hear it like it is. With me, I'm pretty much "what you see is what you get" type, and don't play games w ith people. However, I am also the first to apologize if I overstep any boundaries. Also, in the medium of the electronic age, it's tough to discern what a person's meaning is sometimes....what is meant to be a joke can backfire in a NY minute, and cause some problems simply through misunderstanding someone's intent. That's why I tend to look closely at the whole sentiment and not pick out a few words or a phrase when I make a judgement about something in a response.

just my .02.

m

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Post #: 14

RE: Pulling punches!! - 4/3/2007 7:43:15 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Miss I think most would say you're a fluffy bunny compared to me most of the time :) I get charged on a very regular basis on being too harsh, too mean, to evil, and scaring away the soft tenderfoots.

I will use my partner occasionally as my 'empathy checker' if I think I've really just gone too far, but for the most part I just post. The really great thing is that I'm holding back and being extremely controlled in a great majority of my posts.

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Post #: 15

RE: Pulling punches!! - 4/3/2007 8:19:48 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

I'm diplomatic. I embrace that as a virtue. I know that most confrontations in a virtual setting will halt the free flow of constructive thought. I'm also human, and occasionally I will swing the Big Stick. I almost always regret it the next day or even with the hour (I've been known to edit my posts in remorse even.) It's not a real issue, since I know within a few days, any spat I am involved in will slide by the side of the road.

Stream of Consciousness

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Post #: 16

RE: Pulling punches!! - 4/3/2007 8:27:57 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
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soultoshare, when you mention a "New York minute" I am
reminded of the differences that exist in communication styles
around the country.

I live in California and know some transplants from
NYC, they had real culture shock when dealing with
the "Cali-vibe" after the hectic pace of The Big Apple.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to soultoshare)

Post #: 17

RE: Pulling punches!! - 4/3/2007 10:45:52 AM

soultoshare

Posts: 519
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

i'm actually from upstate NY, where we take it pretty easy too......I think it's a NYC thing to hurry everywhere. It took me about 3 seconds to adjust to California, and about as long to adjust to Europe, mainly Germany. LOVED IT! But, I don't want to hijack, and the whole communication difference by country would be an interesting topic too.

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Post #: 18

RE: Pulling punches!! - 4/3/2007 10:48:38 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

Greetings

I try to tell it as I see it, but always with a tone of respect. If I lose respect for the person on the other side, then I am in a way, demeaning myself. Master would never stand for me being disrespectful in any way.

I wish you well

melissa

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RE: Pulling punches!! - 4/3/2007 11:08:52 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

I can be a total bitch when responding to threads here. A really BAD BAD habit that I am trying hard to overcome. Unfortunatly, in real life, I am pretty much the same

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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