How do you go about finding your first sub?

How do you go about finding your first sub? (Full Version)

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KaineD -> How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 11:28:11 AM)
Hey everyone, hows it going? So I was wondering what advice there is on going about finding your first sub. I have no real life experience of the lifestyle and I am 22. I recently joined a messageboard for people in Belfast and will be going to my first "munch", but I don't think there are any single girls on the site around my age. But if there are, how would I approach them? I mean, do I take a regular approach, and just make normal conversation? Or since its a "munch" thing, would I be expected to take a different approach? Maybe "stake my claim" so to speak? Outside of munches, how else can I find a girl to be my sub?

LaTigresse -> RE: How do you go about finging your first sub? (3/27/2007 11:30:53 AM)
you may want to change the spelling on the title before you catch all sorts of holy hell.....

Arpig -> RE: How do you go about finging your first sub? (3/27/2007 11:33:31 AM)
Pretty much the same way you go about finding your first girlfriend, just with whips and chains thrown into the mix

PONYSEEKER -> RE: How do you go about finging your first sub? (3/27/2007 11:33:44 AM)
LOL I was expecting a compleatly different topic and I was thinking for a new sub thats a little on the extream side...lol Anywho, subs are people too! You can treat them just like you would any other person and after you get to know them a little bit better you then see how well there kinks match yours.

Thadius -> RE: How do you go about finging your first sub? (3/27/2007 11:33:56 AM)
Afternoon Kaine, In my opinion you have taken the first step. Meeting people. Attending the munch in your area is a great step as well, even if there are no single folks besides yourself attending. As people get to know you and your character, they may know somebody, or even run into somebody that they will think "Hmmm, you know Kaine is a decent person, perhaps the 2 of them would be worth introducing". Other than that, I can only say BE YOURSELF. Do not try to portray yourself as something that you are not. Just like any other type of relationship (romantic or just friendship) it takes time to find somebody that you are compatible with, and usually happens when you least expect it. I wish you well, Thadius P.S. Good luck in your search

LaTigresse -> RE: How do you go about FLINGING your first sub? (3/27/2007 11:35:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PONYSEEKER LOL I was expecting a compleatly different topic and I was thinking for a new sub thats a little on the extream side...lol Anywho, subs are people too! You can treat them just like you would any other person and after you get to know them a little bit better you then see how well there kinks match yours. kinda like that?[:D]

jauntyone -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 11:39:35 AM)
Greetings KaineD the advice already given to you has been excellent. Munches, clubs; are all great ways of meeting others who share in your interests. Get to know some people close to you and most important; don't be in such a rush to find someone. Take your time and enjoy the journey. I wish you well melissa

darkinshadows -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:07:17 PM)
I highly recommend going to a munch or group and if you are able, try to attend outside your area also. Join some other good sites like InformedConsent and get involved in the local and county events. Go to markets. These are all places you are likely to meet someone with similar kinks, but the reality is you might actually bump into her/him in your local supermarket. Do not attend with the specific idea of getting your first s-type but attend the events and meet people and just enjoy the atmosphere. When you stop looking, it will come to you without you even thinking about it. Just be honest and open about who and what you are and don't compromise unless you choose to.

imtempting -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:09:55 PM)
I think you should try some sonar and see if it finds anything otherwise just throw depth chargers all over the place. Eventually you will hit a sub well one hopes anyway.

darkinshadows -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:11:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: imtempting I think you should try some sonar and see if it finds anything otherwise just throw depth chargers all over the place. Eventually you will hit a sub well one hopes anyway. oooo. you sunk my battleship...[;)]

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:18:14 PM)
First your going to need the right tools. A shovel, tarp and chocolate chip cookies........

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:19:54 PM)
You asked this question back in November http://www.collarchat.com/m_661360/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#661360 I'm having trouble just finding a girl

FukinTroll -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:21:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross You asked this question back in November http://www.collarchat.com/m_661360/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#661360 I'm having trouble just finding a girl Todays informative post was sponserd by CSI: Collarme and the easy button.

Thadius -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:23:21 PM)
Not bad advice, but the digging of the hole can be tiring. I prefer the cookies as bait, and a tranquilizer gun for the actual capture. Alot less mess and not as tiring. Thadius

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:24:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Thadius Not bad advice, but the digging of the hole can be tiring. I prefer the cookies as bait, and a tranquilizer gun for the actual capture. Alot less mess and not as tiring. Thadius ROFL it's so wrong how excited your post made me.

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:30:30 PM)
True, true. One could also build a good snare trap as well. Just need a bit of rope. Or a tiger trap if you have the right cage. hehehe

KaineD -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:40:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross You asked this question back in November http://www.collarchat.com/m_661360/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#661360 I'm having trouble just finding a girl Oh dear. I forgot all about that. Well, the advice is good!

Mercnbeth -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:43:06 PM)
quote: So I was wondering what advice there is on going about finding your first sub. First figure out a few things about yourself and what you seek. What is a "sub"? What are you? Why do you want a sub? What you would do if you actually encounter one? What to you bring into the relationship? How will you establish trust? Why should she pick you as her "Dom"? There are more, but start with those. If you're just trying to get laid, its much easier to stick with 'vanilla' flavoring and get in a few spanks while in the 'doggy position'. Keep in mind many "subs" are in reality dominant in what they want to feel and what they want to happen. Your first decision, if you determine you are Dominant, is if you want to facilitate their needs or your own. Facilitating their's is not necessarily a bad thing, its a good way to gain experience and training. Just read the profiles. Many 'doms' suggest and ask; many subs demand. Don't let the labels fool you, listen and read the narratives. Exclude the sensation and who's giving and getting and you'll notice quite a bit of mislabeling. Good luck!

KaineD -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:51:15 PM)
I can assure you, Mercnbeth, I'm not looking for a quick lay.

WhiplashSmile -> RE: How do you go about finding your first sub? (3/27/2007 12:56:20 PM)
My first true sub/slave relationship happened because one of my friends warned a girl that was interested in me, that I was into some really kinky things. I think he was trying to warn her what she was getting into. Anyways, he actually did us both a big favor. So social networking can be a big help, I still have yet to vouch for this online dating game. It's a bit crazy at times, I'll tell you that much.

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