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cum on command - 3/20/2007 5:43:33 PM

mixielicous

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what are some techniques used/used on you to teach you to come on command? i understand it takes a long training, but what i dont understand is what that training is. where do you start? for me, i feel like this is something i could never accomplish even with prolonged training devotion from D and patience.

how long did it take you?

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RE: cum on command - 3/20/2007 5:57:36 PM

outlier

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mixielicous,

There are 47 replies to this question in this thread, which is still open
in Ask a Master.

Cumming on Command Techniques

http://www.collarchat.com/m_867995/tm.htm

Outlier

< Message edited by outlier -- 3/20/2007 6:06:07 PM >

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RE: cum on command - 3/20/2007 5:59:47 PM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

what are some techniques used/used on you to teach you to come on command? i understand it takes a long training, but what i dont understand is what that training is. where do you start? for me, i feel like this is something i could never accomplish even with prolonged training devotion from D and patience.

how long did it take you?

First off...for you...he should suggest you get "rimming" him out of your mind when he wants to train you for this.

Seriously, it can be done. My first submissive was a squirter who learned to cum on command so it was difficult for her to fake it. In her case, it took a lot of time and a lot of patience and, what seemed to her at the time, a constant preoccupation with sexual images and thoughts mixed with a certain amount of denial.

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RE: cum on command - 3/20/2007 7:28:25 PM

Missokyst

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I can cum on command, but it wasn't something some guy taught me. I taught myself. Couldn't begin to tell you how or why, other than it made my life easier all around. I CAN do it, but it doesn't mean I want to. On my own, it is a quick release from frustration. If a dominant wanted this from me I would probably think he was just interested in getting that pesky little (or big) O out of me so his job would be done. Seems a little uncaring to me, but that's my opinion.
I much prefer to spend the time, indulging in sensuality for both of us, rather than want to rush through just to get it done. And that's not to say either or both of us MUST orgasm every time. I don't always find it necessary. I truly enjoy the closeness of being together sensually for hours on end.
Kyst

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RE: cum on command - 3/20/2007 7:29:54 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

what are some techniques used/used on you to teach you to come on command? i understand it takes a long training, but what i dont understand is what that training is. where do you start? for me, i feel like this is something i could never accomplish even with prolonged training devotion from D and patience.

how long did it take you?

i think this is a mere fantasy and is not possible.

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RE: cum on command - 3/20/2007 8:36:44 PM

slaveish

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CoC training is a Pavlovian, meditative, and transcendental process; and, for me, does not work every time. I have to be in a complete altered state of mind (natural, not induced by drugs or alcohol) and if a stray thought floated through my mind, I could forget C'ing o C. It took months and months of reinforcement. For others, I am certain CoC is different.

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RE: cum on command - 3/20/2007 9:35:06 PM

Elorin

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First, I agreed not to orgasm unless he was around.
Second, when I was close to orgasm and he could tell that I was, he would say "Cum...cum for me" in a strong tone. I started to associate that voice, that word in that tone of voice, with orgasms.
After a while (I don't know how long anymore), I agreed not to cum without his permission. I would hold off, getting more and more aroused, sometimes requesting "Please" just once, sometimes being made to say "Please may I cum Sir?" (which can be hard when you are pretty aroused), sometimes just being left to beg "please please please please pleasepleasepleaseplease" until he said "CUM" in that voice. At the beginning, as soon as I asked he would say "CUM". Then he started waiting. Or saying "not yet". Or just saying no. He did not just say no a very high percentage of the time (thankfully he enjoys watching my orgasms!), but just enough to make sure that I was actually controlling myself and not just cumming as soon as I asked (making him a rubber stamp).

Finally, he waited until I started to get turned on once and gave me the "CUM" order in that voice...and I went from "starting to get turned on" to "cumming and whimpering on the floor" in nothing flat.

Is that the kind of detail you wanted?
~E

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RE: cum on command - 3/20/2007 10:48:53 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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In addition to Outliers link;

http://www.collarchat.com/m_588912/mpage_2/key_orgasm%252Ccontrol/tm.htm#592158
orgasm on command?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_412753/mpage_1/key_cum%252Ccommand/tm.htm#412758
cum control

http://www.collarchat.com/m_313958/mpage_4/key_orgasm%252Ccommand/tm.htm#318568
cum on command

http://www.collarchat.com/m_400934/mpage_1/key_cum%252Ccommand/tm.htm#400996
orgasm on demand

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RE: cum on command - 3/21/2007 7:14:46 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I can cum on command, but it wasn't something some guy taught me. I taught myself. Couldn't begin to tell you how or why, other than it made my life easier all around. I CAN do it, but it doesn't mean I want to. On my own, it is a quick release from frustration. If a dominant wanted this from me I would probably think he was just interested in getting that pesky little (or big) O out of me so his job would be done. Seems a little uncaring to me, but that's my opinion.

And since we've had threads the last several days regarding communication and threads in the past about misunderstandings due to the failure to ask or just plain non-communication, then in the case of at least one dominant...me...you would be wrong.
I didn't do it for the purpose of getting that "pesky" orgasm out of her with the only work having to be stating the command (we'll forget all the work that went into that word in the months beforehand)...I did it so that she could learn what it meant to yield her control over an aspect of her life that had always been hers to do with what she wished, use in any way she wanted, and the way she had chosen to use it was fairly selfish and she knew that and wanted to discard it. I cared about her so I wanted to help her with that and, as already noted, I wanted the yielding of control. So...not a matter of laziness but a matter of care and of one more facet of the D/s dynamic of yielding/taking what is given.

quote:

I much prefer to spend the time, indulging in sensuality for both of us, rather than want to rush through just to get it done. And that's not to say either or both of us MUST orgasm every time. I don't always find it necessary. I truly enjoy the closeness of being together sensually for hours on end.
Kyst

This last comes down to something else that has been addressed lately...needs vs. wants. While you might prefer it that way and you might be lucky enough to find a dominant that prefers it that way also...you might also find a dominant who goes along with that 75% of the time and yet, reserves the right to do it the other way also. And because he does it that way doesn't mean that he is lazy or doesn't care...it just means that he is exerting his right as the dominant to consider what you prefer over what he wants and choosing what he wants at that particular point in time.

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RE: cum on command - 3/21/2007 7:42:33 AM

mixielicous

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quote:

ORIGINAL: outlier

mixielicous,

There are 47 replies to this question in this thread, which is still open
in Ask a Master.

Cumming on Command Techniques

http://www.collarchat.com/m_867995/tm.htm

Outlier

oh poop, i was there before i posted this too. wonder how i over looked it?

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RE: cum on command - 3/21/2007 9:37:14 AM

Missokyst

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Thats where finding a compatible partner matters. I love sex, sensuality, and could spend a few days napping and playing. LOL.. Sucks to be me sometimes. I have been fortunate to find men who share the desire, but have gone long periods without a man because they don't match.
Thats ok too.
As for the him having control over something which was always mine. Well its kind of a moot point since I already know I can cum on command, if it came down to it. I can bring one on, or he can move me enough to let my body bring it on. Or, it can be a quick, boom bang boom and we are done. And I get satisfaction from that too to a certain extent. There is nothing wrong with a quickie if that's what my partner wants. <g> kinda fun to be taken just because.

Kyst

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RE: cum on command - 3/21/2007 9:53:44 AM

curiouslyseeking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

what are some techniques used/used on you to teach you to come on command? i understand it takes a long training, but what i dont understand is what that training is. where do you start? for me, i feel like this is something i could never accomplish even with prolonged training devotion from D and patience.

how long did it take you?

For the ones that do not believe..it is possible...I was "skeptical sally" too, until one day words were spoken and I felt my body quaking without touch.

The first time this happened...I remember being outside and I leaned my back against a tree, and slid down to sit on the ground in utter amazement.

The thing I would like to add to this thread is during this training process (which I was oblvious to what he was really doing except for the fact he would say the same things over and over to me...*grin*)

But what intrigued me is he would always whisper..in my ear..whisper, this word association..

At first, I'm like ...speak up, man! ..

However;.... later on I learned that you really have to listen hard, concentrate on a whisper....he was getting inside of my subconscious and conscious mind for a long period of time.

So, the moral of the story, He whispered: I screamed..

Sounds like the makings of a good movie...
the whore-whisperer...

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RE: cum on command - 3/21/2007 11:08:48 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

So, the moral of the story, He whispered: I screamed..

Sounds like the makings of a good movie...
the whore-whisperer...

I am sooooooooooooooo glad I read this at noon instead of over my morning coffee; not sure the coffeeshop owner would've appreciated the coffee on his screen