RE: Self Inflicted Pain VS Pain Inflicted By Others

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RE: Self Inflicted Pain VS Pain Inflicted By Others - 3/16/2007 10:18:43 PM

sublizzie

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I used self-cutting or something like it for a long time, especially while in my marriage. Since leaving my ex, that kind of behavior has almost completely disappeared since it was based, mostly, on his treatment of me. My self-esteem is 500% better now so I don't have the same *need* for that kind of behavior anymore.

I have been in a BDSM scene where a knife was used on me. It did not conjure up the same feelings as when I used a chef's knife across my abdomen, mostly because my mind set was totally different. I am not a masochist so I don't self-inflict pain because I enjoy it. I did so because I hated myself and needed to lance the "wound" in my soul. The cutting behaviors just vented the self-hatred I was feeling.

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RE: Self Inflicted Pain VS Pain Inflicted By Others - 3/16/2007 10:51:17 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

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i am not with the Domme who use to cut me and that banned that from me however i still speak with her as a friend and some other friends who are Doms and DOmmes help me when i do have a stress realeas time that i need
i have found that in place of self cutting
floggings help alot .

ross.g

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RE: Self Inflicted Pain VS Pain Inflicted By Others - 3/17/2007 4:54:51 AM

MadRabbit

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Once again, wonderful replies. Very insightful and interesting speculation.

Thanks to all who are sharing their personal experiences. While I cant say I have ever cut, my own past has similar stories, just with "cutting" replaced with "substance abuse".

The examples stated here are much like the difference between recreational drug users and substance abusers.

In fact, with my experiences, I find a lot of similarities between SM players and recreational drugs users. I consider it one of the ironies of the lifestyle given the huge focus on zero tolerance.

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RE: Self Inflicted Pain VS Pain Inflicted By Others - 3/17/2007 8:14:37 AM

savannasub

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Alot of masochists torment themselves, here and in other places to achieve release in their way. CBT, cockrings, nipple clamps, and so on. Self inflicted pain to me is like masterbation when horney, It's a tempory quick-fix and that's about it. But you can not safely monitor your own well being in this area. If it's a problem to stop, try torture deprivation as a discipline until you get a Dom/me and let Her/Him teach you and watch for circulation and so on.

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RE: Self Inflicted Pain VS Pain Inflicted By Others - 3/17/2007 8:55:14 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
In fact, with my experiences, I find a lot of similarities between SM players and recreational drugs users. I consider it one of the ironies of the lifestyle given the huge focus on zero tolerance.

Ditto :)

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RE: Self Inflicted Pain VS Pain Inflicted By Others - 3/17/2007 10:07:29 AM

brightspot

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{FR}

For what it's worth, cutting and self inflicted pain is not considered unheathy
in many cultures outside of the European white bloodlines.

Many Native cultures here in America and many other in and out of the "mainstream" tribes throughout the world use voluntary self and other inflicted mutilation as yearly or seasonal rituals, also as rights of passage.

No, I am not speaking of clitoral removal which I think is in a whole other league and a permanent mutilation, which is used to control women.

I am talking it is a very common thing with-in these tribes to use cutting or mutlation in spiritual rites and rites of passage. I'm sure most of you recall the ritual piece in "A Man Called Horse", the acts are not considered unhealthy or sick but a natural way of life.
There is something gained in the personal letting of blood, too release the "bad" from the body that retains the spirit. Also the scars left behind are something of honor and respect.

Missy.

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RE: Self Inflicted Pain VS Pain Inflicted By Others - 3/17/2007 10:46:26 AM

Missokyst

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Yeah, that is a difference. I have been a cutter in times of extreme stress. But I am very control oriented. I know how to cut, and not to scar. I can cut and know that those jagged marks will only leave a faint trail visible after a few months. I am not a fan of scarring, as I am prone to keltoids. In my case, I am glad that the fact I must either have control, or let someone else have my control, serves me well. I am able to cap the amount of cutting, and the depth to just enough to satiate my inner pain.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonlyrossInNeed
The difrence is
when i would cut myself
I would somtimes not stop and it would be realy unheathy then becouse you somtimes could not stop yourself
where if someone els is cutting you then they have the power to stop it

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RE: Self Inflicted Pain VS Pain Inflicted By Others - 3/17/2007 10:52:09 AM

Missokyst

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Holey smokes. I was just thinking of that. I do have native american bloodlines running through my many colors. I am in a bad place of mind right now. It does seem to be beyond cutting. So I thought of that. Being skewered to lines, tied to a pole where you are forced to break free. It is traditionally more of a male practice, but right now it's looking very appealling. If it were not for that tendency to develop keltoids!
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: brightspot

Many Native cultures here in America and many other in and out of the "mainstream" tribes throughout the world use voluntary self and other inflicted mutilation as yearly or seasonal rituals, also as rights of passage.

I am talking it is a very common thing with-in these tribes to use cutting or mutlation in spiritual rites and rites of passage. I'm sure most of you recall the ritual piece in "A Man Called Horse", the acts are not considered unhealthy or sick but a natural way of life.
There is something gained in the personal letting of blood, too release the "bad" from the body that retains the spirit. Also the scars left behind are something of honor and respect.

Missy.

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 3/17/2007 10:53:10 AM >

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

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RE: Self Inflicted Pain VS Pain Inflicted By Others - 3/17/2007 11:14:30 AM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

When one cannot stop self-cutting
When one does not even remember self-cutting
When one searches high and low for cutting implements to self-cut
When one will not admit to self-cutting

That's when it has become unhealthy

(and yes, I am a 'cutter'..of sorts)

When I was raising my unmentionables and I had the discussion about drug abuse with them, I pointed out that the problem with almost any of them is that there is a line that gets crossed from the person being in control of the drug to the drug being in control of the person.

Self-cutters are viewed by the psychiatric community as being mentally ill. I view people who self cut as ones who may or may not have mental illness, but it manifests itself by self-cutting. From what I have read about mental illness, if I remember correctly, a self cutter inflicts harm on themselves as a means of quieting what would be called the Monkey Mind in Buddhism. From a psychological standpoint, a person uses these means to quiet negative thoughts in their mind. Going back to the original post, I imagine being the bottom in a BDSM scene does very much the same thing.

I imagine it is a situation where the practice of WIITWD and self-cutting both do the same thing, and there are people who do both who have a mental illness. For those people, self-cutting or BDSM might be the way their mental illness manifests itself.

Not to hijack the thread, but it reminds me of the similarity to that quote "The most dangerous part of a weapon is the nut behind the trigger."

Sinergy

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RE: Self Inflicted Pain VS Pain Inflicted By Others - 3/17/2007 11:23:42 AM

brightspot

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Holey smokes. I was just thinking of that. I do have native american bloodlines running through my many colors. I am in a bad place of mind right now. It does seem to be beyond cutting. So I thought of that. Being skewered to lines, tied to a pole where you are forced to break free. It is traditionally more of a male practice, but right now it's looking very appealling. If it were not for that tendency to develop keltoids!
Kyst

Actually in this day, I know many Native American women who do the "letting of blood" ceremony at the yearly at Sundance, a Summer dancing and Pow Wow celebration.

Missy.

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