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RE: If YOU say humiliation - 3/13/2007 9:35:16 PM

mythi

Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
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When the topic comes up I generally say that I love humbling play...to help distinguish what I like from more generally degrading words/activities. I'm also rather difficult to humilitate, embarass, or degrade and on the off chance it happens I tend to laugh or shrug it off rather than become either aroused or offended. Probably because A.) I'm a lifelong klutz and used to doing stupid dorky things in public & B.) Yeah, sometimes I am a [bitch/slut/cunt/whore/whatever]...and??? lol

But humbling...ahh, humbling! *wistful sigh*
As to definition I'd say anything that makes me more acutely aware of my submission, reinforces it, &/or really makes me FEEL it. The examples that come immediately to mind are all really simple things, but which can have a profound effect: having to sit lower than my dom - ie-sitting on the floor to watch tv while he sits on the sofa, having to keep the angle of my chin lower than his (harder than it may sound!), being fed by him from his plate or having to wait til he grants permission to begin eating (control over my nourishment + forced patience), having to wait for him to let me in and out of the car (more pesky patience), & always losing a fair wrasslin' match

. Hey, you laugh but it works on me! ...altho not sure if it falls into the category of "simple things". *weg*

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RE: If YOU say humiliation - 3/13/2007 9:51:26 PM

mythi

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From: Naples, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

Those moments he takes my pride from me I am so humbled and small and closely connected to him. It's asdflkj;alskdf amazing. And that closeness would be one of the reasons I enjoy humiliation.

Very well put.

And I think, for me anyway, there's also this bit of awe that someone can do it in the first place, and more to the point can earn enough trust that I feel safe letting them. That's where I find the intimacy and closeness originating...that not only can you strip me down, but you actually like me better when I'm (psychologically) naked.

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RE: If YOU say humiliation - 3/13/2007 10:09:35 PM

slavegirljoy

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Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverShadows

If YOU say humiliation

If YOU say you like humiliation in your profile, I would like to know what YOU mean by it. It’s not really relevant to me what others think YOU mean. I want to understand what YOU are trying to communicate.

In a BDSM/D/s context, I view humiliation and degradation as two separate areas. To me, degradation is making a person feel worthless and, as you called it, like a piece of trash. There generally tends to be no good progress or growth or sexual excitement that comes out of it. Humiliation does bring on sexual excitement and a feeling of being humbled through techniques such as name calling or exhibition of your submissive in public or private, etc.. They are usually difficult for the submissive to do and yet, exciting and embarrassing and arousing to her.

i view humiliation in the same way.

my Master doesn't use humiliation to degrade me or shame me. He doesn't humiliate me to punish me.

He uses humiliation to strip away the exterior facade of my prideful nature and expose my humility and vulnerability. He uses humiliation to allow me to see myself more honestly.

He knows what humiliates me and what doesn't. He knows that calling me names doesn't humiliate me. i like Him calling me names. He knows that putting me on display, for all to see, does humiliate me. He knows that i hate and fear the attention of being in the spotlight, but it excites me, too.

Honestly, i am something of an exhibitionist, but i am too shy and embarrassed to put myself on display. i need to be put there by another, who has control over me. He puts me in situations that will draw attention to me. He does this is different ways, such as making me sit for a caricature portrait at a large arts festival, where a crowd of people gathered around to watch, looking at me sitting there, with nowhere to hide. He has also made me take off my prosthetic leg and ride an electric wheelchair shopping cart through a large store, which always causes people to look at me, seeing the stump of my leg hanging there and asking me if i need help. He sees just how uncomfortable i am and my obvious feelings of humiliation immediately and He loves it. i just want to crawl under something and get out of there, but i have to sit and endure it and, then i always find myself feeling very sexually excited, at the same time.

i love humiliation, not stupid, pointless degradation, but thoughtful ways of humiliating me and keeping my ego in check.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

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RE: If YOU say humiliation - 3/13/2007 10:11:58 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverShadows

And your definition is close to mine. I also note you list humilation as a hate.

the latter i described actually happened to me.

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RE: If YOU say humiliation - 3/13/2007 10:36:50 PM

SilverShadows

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I noted that it happened to you and as such I appreciated your comments. A touch of reality amid theoreticals.

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RE: If YOU say humiliation - 3/22/2007 6:14:26 PM

fortifiedsqual

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My favorite way to be humiliated is actually pretty simple... It's part degrading and humiliating at the same time.

When i am in an argument with my Domme or W/we are just having normal conversation, She will tell me to do something that reminds me of my place, such as kissing Her feet or in the case of an argument shutting up and apologizing even if i dont want to, to show that i am still much lower than Her.

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RE: If YOU say humiliation - 3/22/2007 6:40:25 PM

Mustardseed

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From: Seattle, WA
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Hrm. I have a few different definitions going on:

Humiliation is something that makes me feel humility: something that knocks me off of my high horse and shows me that, no, I am indeed not all that. Being called on being a hypocrite, for instance, something I would find humiliating. The more witnesses, the stronger the emotion.

Humiliation play, for me, plays with taboos and general things that might embarass me, cause me to blush, or remind me of my place within a scene or a D/S relationship. The top who started talking in a Foghorn Leghorn voice while getting me to suck his cock caused me to blush and laugh wth my mouth full -- he was trying for a spontaneous comedic plantation scene and nearly choked me to death on my own activity and stunned reaction. I was highly amused, somewhat appalled, and began having bizarre childhood flashbacks to Saturday morning cartoons all at once. Having my Daddy call me his "Good Little Cocksucker" or find reason to discipline me at the club for borderline cheekiness (he seems to go for the cheeky ones) doesn't make me feel humble, but it does severely trip up my personal dignity meter.

Degredation play is something I consider to involve more physical than verbal actions. To be difficult, I think I'd consider degredation to be the humilation play that I don't like or recover from well -- the play that could lead to resentment and/or that I wouldn't want other people to know about either then or possibly ever. If someone ever took a shit on me in a D/S context, I'd consider that degredation play.

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RE: If YOU say humiliation - 3/22/2007 7:06:52 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

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to me humiliation would be verbal abuse
and feminzation in front of others and being used infront of others .

ross.g

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RE: If YOU say humiliation - 3/22/2007 7:47:36 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Personally, I could never wish for humiliation nor degredation.Of course with saying this, such could change only in so far as, you say what is YOUR definition of it, and that definiton may be ok with me..But for the most part, my ego is too fragile and my feelings too easily hurt for me to be able to handle such, in any way, shape, or form.Deliberate humiliation and degredation would not inspire closeness from within me..it would only inspire distance, hurt,and complete lack of trust...Tempting

edited to add..this is a response to the OP..:0)

< Message edited by TemptingNviceSub -- 3/22/2007 7:48:59 PM >

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My Epiphany - 3/22/2007 10:27:50 PM

Hime

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Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Vegas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverShadows

Thank-you. I have some understanding of what you mean by humble. I feel humble when listening to a great teacher, or reading the sutra. They do not make me feel less than, but the free me of the weight of my ego. They lift one up at the same time making one realize how small one is.

Does this come close to what you are trying to describe to me.

I have always had a difficult time wrapping my mind around the concept of Humiliation, mainly because of my own interpretation and meaning of the word. To me, humiliation meant to Demoralize and Degrade.

And for the first time, there is a concept within Humiliation Play that I can grasp, which is to Humble. Chaste, Unpretentious, and Humility are all things that I can inherently and morally comprehend. With that in mind, there is much to explore!!!

~ xoxo

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