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pet peeve rant, and a question about profiles - 3/13/2007 8:18:07 AM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

everybody else gets to rant, now it's my turn :P my pet peeve is people who spend their entire profile, instead of talking about themselves, talking about how they're sick of how this site is full of fakes.

maybe it's just me, but for every 10 or so profiles i read, there are at least a few that come off as genuine, and quite often i run into a gem...a person who appears, from their profile and their posts, to be undeniably real, someone who's interesting and engaging, someone i would want to get to know.

putting "where are all the REAL subs, this site is full of fakes," in your profile just makes you look bitter. if you're pissed about the number of "fakes" on the site, deactivate your profile and go somewhere else, seriously. if you're going to make a profile, talk about YOURSELF. tell us what should attract us to you!

i have a question...do you like it or does it piss you off when people message you to tell you that they like your profile, or offer constructive criticism on it? often i will message people just to say i enjoyed reading their profile or their posts. occasionally i'll message people to suggest they spend more time talking about them on their profile, rather than bitching about the site, as they seem pretty interesting to me. i just did this with floridasubwanted (whose profile's now been deactivated) and received in return one of the nastiest letters i've gotten since being a member...and i can't respond because they deactivated their profile.

anyway, i'm curious to hear others' opinions on this, and also to see how many people enjoy/hate getting messages -about- their profile.

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RE: pet peeve rant, and a question about profiles - 3/13/2007 8:34:35 AM

Cefoxitin

Posts: 16
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

I see no harm in learning how to improve oneself or learn of percieved flaws. It is good to hear how you are thought of by others. I see diseingenuine folks all the time and wonder about them but nothing elce.

But it is a good point, i think more information of that person is appreciated more than the disgruntled banter.

good luck

(in reply to hisannabelle)

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RE: pet peeve rant, and a question about profiles - 3/13/2007 8:36:26 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I have noticed these sorts of profiles and I invariably think that we see the world how we are. We create our own reality, we miss all the good stuff when we focus on the bad.

I have had messages about my posts that were positive, and I try to thank them. I have less commentary about my profile, although some seem to dislike my journal for some reason. It is nice to get compliments, but the comments that I most like are the ones that have told me that some information that I have put here on the forum was helpful to them, whether it was an experience I shared or a link I dropped, that is very gratifying to me.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to hisannabelle)

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RE: pet peeve rant, and a question about profiles - 3/13/2007 8:39:37 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

I would not call that a pet peeve of mind but I must say when I use to stumble on profiles like that let alone messages to me like that it pretty much got a big laugh out of me.

Negative repels and positive attracts. Filling a profile full of negatives, especially the “fake” type comments is a self fulfilling prophecy because the only ones that might actually correspond with someone with a profile like that are probably “fakes”.

There is a lot of ego on the other side and it always amazes me on the one hand dominants know women get a ton of messages but when writing a profile and message they still live in a cyber vacuum and think they will not get compared to the others on the site or think gross generalizations of others being not real and sincere will make them real, sincere and special by those words alone.

There is competition everywhere in life. You have to deal with it and not rationalize it away as you are alone and typing on a computer. People who do this in their profiles have to understand, yes we get it you do not want to waste your time with people who are not sincere but you have to show sincere people why we would want to spend time with you and there are others like you and we cannot start up communication with every "real" and "sincere" dominant who writes us.

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(in reply to hisannabelle)

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RE: pet peeve rant, and a question about profiles - 3/13/2007 8:40:34 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

i just posted this somewhere else ... hmmm... forget where... but i said i get a msg about once a week from some older couple or another and theyre alway sayin how they like my profile, that i am traditional, or that my posts show me to be old fashioned or whatnot. i try to get into specifics, not because i am fishing but i dont really see how the fact that i am live-in LTR makes me better than this girl who is online loong distance... well i guess i do, but that girl can [theoretically] just as easiy hold herself to the same standards i do.

as for helping others with their profiles, i have only sent out 2 notes on the matter and only if its painfully obvious the girl is honestly here to find "the One" but just doesnt know how to ...... advertise/market herself well. LOL

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(in reply to juliaoceania)

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RE: pet peeve rant, and a question about profiles - 3/13/2007 11:43:03 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

It's like walking into a party. If you frown, go straight to the corner and sulk, it's not likely that the other partyguests will bother socializing with you. Maybe you get some attention from other partymood impaired people but it doesn't take a scientist to figure out the fun in that, or lack thereof...

(in reply to mixielicous)

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RE: pet peeve rant, and a question about profiles - 3/14/2007 1:22:30 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

I would not be tempted to contact or reply to a person that has a very negative or whiney profile. I prefer being around 'glass half full' people.

I always reply to people who have read my post and then taken the time to email me - complimentary or otherwise. I figure that by having a public profile or posting on the forums I am opening myself up both for compliments and criticisms and either is fine by me.

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(in reply to hisannabelle)

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