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Termyn8or -> RE: How we do it (3/9/2007 11:58:24 AM)
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It's because people have changed. My family has had a 50 year wedding anniversery every generation since coming to this country, and I suspect the last one was the last.
That means I might be the last generation to go see Grandma AND Grampa at the same house. Looking around at what passes off as a family these days I have learned to cherish those memories. Like Chris Rock said "If Grandmama is Mama and Mama is Pam, you ain't saving college money, you are saving bail money".
Nice to hear that some people still do stick it out. Kink notwithstanding, I mean the idea of marriage.
I think part of the problem is the lack of obstacles. In the past people had to work together to survive, and as a result grew up fast, intellectually and emotionally. Nowadays I think the average age that people are ready, that is willing and cognizant of what a LIFETIME commitment means, occurs around age 45.
That is because life's hurdles generally do not include finding enough food, it's more like whether to pay the cable or phone bill late. People have become materialistic, and that costs alot of precious developmental time, time when children should have been interacting and therefore learning from their elders. Now they get a nintendo and in a few months you start to forget their names.
Most people (probably excepting many in this forum) at marrying age, which to me should be 20-25, have the mentality of a child. I don't care if they can solve a Rubik's cube, build a house or design a spaceship, those are not signs of maturity. It took me about 40 years to figure it out.
Generally at what I consider to be primetime to get married, people have no empathy for their partners, or the human race in general. Materialism eats them from the inside, and a Wife might be a status symbol or a possesion, not a partner.
This might be hard for some to understand. Lotus, I really do think that you understand this but I am going to iterate it for others. Speaking generally.
People today please their partner because they are selfish. They please their partner to induce them to return the favor. This is like putting gas in your car, you do it because you know if you don't the car will stop serving your needs.
The difference between that and a real relationship is that in a real relationship you please your partner because it is your desire for them to be pleased. Nothing more.
I'm sure there are some scratching their head going "Huh?" about now. This is a hard concept to explain.
Perhaps one way to put it is that true love is very rare these days.
If someone can word it better, please do. Those who know what I am talking about might lend a hand by rephrasing it.
Best of luck, and if "till death do us part" means anything, I hope that time comes in the very distant future. You have something enjoyed (and understood) by very few people these days.
T
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