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RE: Growing pains? - 3/8/2007 4:17:28 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I think many people have that fear. That if somehow we do not meet other's ideals of who we are not only are we failing but are also unloveable. It is not an easy fear to overcome.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Growing pains? - 3/8/2007 4:17:43 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		One of the clues that I am shedding negative thoughts or beliefs is that I start having bad dreams and even nightmares.  When my fears are no longer in control of my waking hours, they start trying to control me in my sleep.  The other night, I dreamed that I got shot and that the government took me away from my Lord and alandra.  So... I think I am on the right path for now *ss*

Like catize, I wish I could just shut off my brain and stop thinking and I like her term "primal mindlessness"

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Growing pains? - 3/8/2007 4:33:54 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth



This slave came to a point where she was convinced that she would travel solo on whatever path she was on, embraced it, befriended it and used it as an opportunity to dig down into the layers of what made up this slave.  praying fervently for an OBVIOUS sign, if indeed a sign would ever come, to involve a specific other…to seek another’s guiding hand, to trust another enough to accept this slave emotionally naked.
 


beth,
 thankyou so much for sharing this... the above portion of your message is where i am, what i know i need to do, and what i already pray for when i wake every morning...

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Growing pains? - 3/8/2007 4:37:37 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists


Like catize, I wish I could just shut off my brain and stop thinking and I like her term "primal mindlessness"

Knight's kyra


Yes, i like this term very much :-)

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Growing pains? - 3/8/2007 4:40:19 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I think many people have that fear. That if somehow we do not meet other's ideals of who we are not only are we failing but are also unloveable. It is not an easy fear to overcome.


i agree - we are taught to please others to be accepted  from childhood - it is not easy to unlearn...

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Growing pains? - 3/8/2007 4:47:10 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		(ramble alert!  proceed further at your own risk)

sometimes, it feels like growing=pain, and inescapably so.  this past week has been long and hard (thank you very much, Mercury, lol), and with it has come a tremendous amount of pain.  I have yet to see the growth, or see the pain manifested as such, but experience tells me that with time I will.

forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness...that is my lesson to learn this week.  someone said to me, it's a gift I can give myself by forgiving another person.  in letting go of all the pain, the fear and the hurt, I give myself the gift of peace.  I let it go and set myself free. 

easier said than done...I'm sure you will agree.

becoming self-aware has become my task of the past 5 years, and it has involved a detailed and often painful examination of who I perceived myself to be and the person the rest of the world perceived me to be.  without the growing pains of the past, I couldn't be who I am today, the person I've worked very hard to become.  peeling back the layers was just the beginning for me.  taking what I've found inside, changing, allowing myself to change, forgiving myself...that has been where the real work has happened.

I look at photos of myself from the past and sometimes think, thank God I'm not her anymore.  She was a girl who was terrified to be who she really wanted to be, terrified to say or do the wrong thing, heck, scared of her own shadow even.  and then I think:  I've cried for that girl, I've grieved for her, I've laughed for her, I've hoped for her...that girl, she deserves to be loved.  so, I'm working on trying to love her too

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"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Growing pains? - 3/8/2007 5:06:46 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted


I look at photos of myself from the past and sometimes think, thank God I'm not her anymore.  She was a girl who was terrified to be who she really wanted to be, terrified to say or do the wrong thing, heck, scared of her own shadow even.  and then I think:  I've cried for that girl, I've grieved for her, I've laughed for her, I've hoped for her...that girl, she deserves to be loved.  so, I'm working on trying to love her too


Thankyou for sharing this...might not be such a bad idea for me to do...

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to lighthearted)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Growing pains? - 3/8/2007 5:10:52 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted


I look at photos of myself from the past and sometimes think, thank God I'm not her anymore.  She was a girl who was terrified to be who she really wanted to be, terrified to say or do the wrong thing, heck, scared of her own shadow even.  and then I think:  I've cried for that girl, I've grieved for her, I've laughed for her, I've hoped for her...that girl, she deserves to be loved.  so, I'm working on trying to love her too


Thankyou for sharing this...might not be such a bad idea for me to do...


I look at photos from my past and say, thank god mom wouldn't let me get the nehru jacket and why the fuck did I let somebody take a picture of me in disco shoes.

Bobby Kennedy


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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Growing pains? - 3/8/2007 5:23:57 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail


I look at photos from my past and say, thank god mom wouldn't let me get the nehru jacket and why the fuck did I let somebody take a picture of me in disco shoes.

Bobby Kennedy



Ron, thanks for the humor! i have a few of those type pictures...the ones only a mother could love - or did she... because somehow i have them!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Growing pains? - 3/8/2007 8:30:55 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Yeah, the disco shoes photo exists only in memory now.  Just remember when the WyldStallions rule the earth your pictures you are saving may be on the concert poster
I feel ya, babe.

Bob


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Growing pains? - 3/9/2007 3:29:22 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		i was advised to post this thread by someone far wiser than myself and this has turned out to be wonderful advice. All the thoughts, experiences and advice i have recieved have been not only thought provoking but quite enlightening...i feel much more at peace and less alone than i did at the conception of this thread. Thankyou to all who responded and to all who merely read it and the little pearls of wisdom embedded in the subsequent replies- i hope that it might have been as helpful to others as it was to me :-) 

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Growing pains? - 3/9/2007 5:45:16 AM   
StellaByStarlite


Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline 		Hello. =)

There are growing pains and there are growing pains. There's also acquiring the wisdom to put things in perspective. In other words, what causes us pain now might not 10 years from now.

Making a list of all the "life lessons" I've had in the past 17 years would probably take up 3 pages. Did I learn from all of them? Too soon to tell, lol. All I know is that I've had enough pain in my life, and yet at age 35, it's not done yet. That's where wisdom and perspective come in. I feel growing pains can only help if there is time to reflect, be still, contemplate for a time.

My life recently suffered an major emotional upheaval. it really doesn't seem like a lesson or a chance to grow right now, it's more like a senseless nightmare, lol.

Cheers,
Stella

< Message edited by StellaByStarlite -- 3/9/2007 5:46:00 AM >

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Growing pains? - 3/9/2007 6:00:44 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StellaByStarlite

I feel growing pains can only help if there is time to reflect, be still, contemplate for a time.

Stella


Thankyou for this pearl :-) Very, very wise advice and i am doing that very thing!
 
btw... i absolutely love your screen name! Stella is one of my favorite names and the personal nic i have given to my niece... StellaByStarlite just sounds so glamorous :-)

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Growing pains? - 3/9/2007 8:31:07 AM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		I wanna see!!!


_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Growing pains? - 3/9/2007 8:39:14 AM   
StellaByStarlite


Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline 		Awww, thank you so much, DawnTreader. =) There's a song called StellabyStarlite that's one of my favorite ambience-type crooner love songs. I think Frankie wrote it, but don't quote me on it. =)

Stella. =))

By the way.. is your screen name in reference to the Narnia book?

< Message edited by StellaByStarlite -- 3/9/2007 8:40:35 AM >

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Growing pains? - 3/9/2007 11:42:26 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StellaByStarlite

Awww, thank you so much, DawnTreader. =) There's a song called StellabyStarlite that's one of my favorite ambience-type crooner love songs. I think Frankie wrote it, but don't quote me on it. =)

Stella. =))

By the way.. is your screen name in reference to the Narnia book?


Yes! :-) Prince Caspian and the Voyage of the DawnTreader - the name actually has many references...1 to the book and the spiritual journey within the story and 2 for my love of "treading at dawn"  or morning hiking :-)

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)
Profile   Post #: 56
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