Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Talent vs. Training


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Talent vs. Training Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Talent vs. Training - 3/3/2007 1:09:33 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		I was reading the cock-size thread and it lead me to ponder this question...

Have you found that you've been with a sexual partner who seemed to have natural talent when it came to satisfying you? Or has your best lover been one that started off average (or even horrible!) and you had to put a lot of training into?

My answer:
My best is my current (thank goodness!) and it has amazed me since our first night together how he just seems to know what drives me wild. There is always room for communication and improvement and he's very open to being taught what I like but I have never experienced anything like this before, just natural talent, I guess.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/3/2007 1:19:25 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I know not everyone will agree with this for themselves, but my satisfaction comes from his enjoyment.  So if I perform in such a way that pleases him, I am thrilled.  I work very hard to do so, and the result is often both of us feeling quite gratified.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/3/2007 1:21:45 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		My best lover has an intuitive ability. I've been able to explore and open myself in spiritual ways through this.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/3/2007 1:59:43 PM   
sabis


Posts: 136
Joined: 6/29/2005
From: Midwest, USA
Status: offline 		Before I met my Owner and husband, I'd been told by previous lovers that I was pretty darned good in the sack. So I met him with a very high level of confidence in my abilities. I loved oral, I was horny and eager, and figured that's all I really needed.
 
Boy, was I wrong. 
 
No one I'd ever had sex with, had experienced the breadth and depth and range that Cumulus had.  So, compared to the other horny teenagers/twentysomethings they'd had, yep, I was darned good.  Compared to some of the trained subs and courtesans he'd had... I was sadly lacking.  But he saw potential and willingness, and was pleased by that.
 
It was humbling.  It felt like being the valedictorian - of the 8th grade -  realizing I was going up against a PhD in a debate.
 
I guess it's hard to measure yourself with the yardstick of your own life experiences. I'm just glad he's kept me around long enough for me to show that earnest desire to learn counts for something, too.  :)
 
In His service,
 
~sabis,
Owned by Cumulus

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/3/2007 4:31:22 PM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		It has been my experience that the best lovers do not need to be taught.

_____________________________

Staci

The drop of rain makes a hole in a stone not by violence, but by often falling.



(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/3/2007 5:18:58 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

My best lover has an intuitive ability. I've been able to explore and open myself in spiritual ways through this.

Master Fire



I couldnt agree more.  Intuitive, spiritual almost a sort of healing. 


_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/3/2007 5:29:09 PM   
ArgoGeorgia


Posts: 256
Joined: 2/9/2007
From: Atlanta, Georgia
Status: offline 		I've found that experience and natural talent are all good things, but in the end, it is "fit" between the two people that really makes for explosive sex.  No matter what sorta mad skills you both possess, if the fit isn't there, it will always be lacking something.  It might be good, even really good, but probably not mind-blowingly incredible.

_____________________________

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. No, seriously. They have t-shirts for everything nowadays.

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/3/2007 10:07:39 PM   
kate


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/10/2004
Status: offline 		the best lover is usually the one that you are sleeping with right now......according to a cosmo article i read something like 80% of women thing there current partner is the best they have ever had....but don't qute me on that, i am jsut remembering, i just know it was a very high......and it is sooo true

_____________________________

Katherine of the East

(in reply to ArgoGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/3/2007 10:30:51 PM   
mewmew


Posts: 37
Joined: 6/25/2006
Status: offline 		according to a cosmo article i read something like 80% of women thing there current partner is the best they have ever had....but don't qute me on that, i am jsut remembering, i just know it was a very high

This makes sense. For me, it's not really about sex mechanics or physical appearance (although all that contributes, particularly early on)...it's mostly mental. Whether I'm just totally into the idea of someone, or experiencing some serious, far-reaching mindcommunion, my current headspace is going to dictate how I feel about him. And if he makes me loopy, then heck yes, he's the best ever! :)

_____________________________

~ aka lostkitty ~

(in reply to kate)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/3/2007 11:29:02 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I've had varied experiences of this nature. One dominant thought I did everything right and did very little training to me. Several years later, the dominant who took charge of me couldn't stand ANYTHING I did, so it was several years of really hard training. So, I really don't know what it's going to lead to these days, although finding out seems like 100 percent of the fun!

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/4/2007 9:26:03 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		He thinks it's some sort of innate talent for me. (or rather, He's hinted a few times that i must be more sexually experienced than i claim to be.) really, it's just a matter of experimenting to see what causes good reactions. i guess it's some sort of intuition :)

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/4/2007 9:51:57 AM   
boltaction


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kate

the best lover is usually the one that you are sleeping with right now......according to a cosmo article i read something like 80% of women thing there current partner is the best they have ever had....but don't qute me on that, i am jsut remembering, i just know it was a very high......and it is sooo true


Yeah, that makes sense.

(in reply to kate)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/4/2007 4:32:49 PM   
blushingflower


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		I think that sometimes what happens is that the things person A likes to do to a lover and the things person B likes to have done to them simply match up.
Of course, I was always told that I was a great cock-sucker, doesn't mean Daddy didn't have to teach me how to be better.  And he says I'm the best lover he's ever had, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/4/2007 7:07:29 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kate

the best lover is usually the one that you are sleeping with right now......according to a cosmo article i read something like 80% of women thing there current partner is the best they have ever had....but don't qute me on that, i am jsut remembering, i just know it was a very high......and it is sooo true


I find that interesting but not true for myself or any of the people I talk about this kind of stuff with. I have had a couple of really bad ones and a couple of pretty good ones but no one with the instant "oh my god, how did you know how to make me feel that way???" quality of my current. I also know a good number of guys and girls who remenisce about "the best they ever had." But then again it's cosmo. The poll was probably based on cosmo readers. Need I say more?

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to kate)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/4/2007 7:16:58 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 Have you found that you've been with a sexual partner who seemed to have natural talent when it came to satisfying you?  

Yes.
quote:

   Or has your best lover been one that started off average (or even horrible!) and you had to put a lot of training into?

I find nothing wrong with giving positive feed back for what is working well and that usually leads to improvement! A few times I found it necessary to show a lover the right spots and they were always thrilled to learn.  Willingness is always a major plus!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/4/2007 7:44:06 PM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

Have you found that you've been with a sexual partner who seemed to have natural talent when it came to satisfying you? Or has your best lover been one that started off average (or even horrible!) and you had to put a lot of training into?


As happy as Sir says he is with my "talents" -- I get the distinct impression, at times, that I could be better.  Though, I have always known that there is room for improvement in every relationship -- especially in the sex department -- I often wish that I was completely perfect from the get-go and didn't have to worry about training.  I know that is unrealistic and silly -- especially coming from someone my age -- but it's a desire that I think many people (women especially) can relate to.

I know I have shortcomings, but Sir is patient, kind and loving and I am *sure* that one day I will overwhelm him with my abilities and training.  :)

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Talent vs. Training - 3/4/2007 7:45:43 PM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

He thinks it's some sort of innate talent for me. (or rather, He's hinted a few times that i must be more sexually experienced than i claim to be.) really, it's just a matter of experimenting to see what causes good reactions. i guess it's some sort of intuition :)


That is more true that most people realize.  Those that seem to have "talent" are really just paying attention and going with what appears to work for the person they are with -- that's how I have always been, and probably why many men have felt that I have a natural "gift."

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 17
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Talent vs. Training Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.156