hard limits-how did you arrive at yours?

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hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/2/2007 9:51:22 PM

touchthesky

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I am just wondering if CM members arrived at their hard limits through trial and error, or just imagining what is beyond the beyond. Would ou ever let anyone change your hard limits and why ?

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/2/2007 10:00:31 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: touchthesky
I am just wondering if CM members arrived at their hard limits through trial and error, or just imagining what is beyond the beyond. Would ou ever let anyone change your hard limits and why ?

Well, my normal caveat is that I don't distinguish between "hard" and "soft" limits- there are things I won't do, and there are things which I'm open to doing.

I arrived at my limits based on health risk issues and emotional understanding of myself- I've learned what I need to do and not do in order to stay true to myself and fulfilled. For me that's what it's all about- finding that balance for you.

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/2/2007 10:04:28 PM

DiurnalVampire

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My limits are based on two things. My comfort level and my past. There are a few thngs I cannot do without being forced to relive very bad memories, and so I avoid them. There are others that simpy make me highly uncomfortable and likewise, I avoid them. That said, aside from the usual limits most people state on here, I dont really have many limits. Most things i will not do util I know someone extremely well, but once that trust is there I am wiling to try far more than I advertise intialy.

DV

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/2/2007 10:05:01 PM

domiguy

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I have found that for most of the women that I have met their "hard" limit is choking down the last couple of inches of the DomiDong.

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/2/2007 10:13:59 PM

bearincuffs

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For myself, I believe many of the hard limits I have and had, I set for myself largely from inexperience and from what I believe I could never engage in. Many were learned behavior I got from reading, watching different videos and from discussions with friends. As I gained knowledge and experience, many of my hard limits were discarded either from actually pushing that limit or they just simply became a non limit.
Obviously there are going to be a few absolute hard limits I won't allow anyone to change. But I think that a couple will be slowly changed in time. The only way I can comfortablely allow anyone to do this is that person will have to be someone who I fully trust.

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/2/2007 10:20:03 PM

MzMia

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My hard limits were created when I became interested in this lifestyle 4 years ago.
They are lines I am not willing to cross and/or activities I am not engaging in.
Funny thing is, they still have not changed nor do I think they ever will.
I did not become interested in this lifestyle to participate in every single activity possible.
I do not plan to participate in activities that go against my personal comfort level or internal moral code.
But then, I am a Dominant......I always wonder why we don't hear more about the Dominant's "limits".
Because Dominant's also have limits!

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/2/2007 10:21:24 PM

justplainjava

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that is an easy one, my hard limits came into being either one i tried something with a dom and it went dreadfully wrong
or two it is moral wrong or i have a mental block to it
some of my hard limits are in place due to pesoanl health issues such as my asthma

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/2/2007 10:35:35 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

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due to circumstanses beyond my control, i cannot answer this question in open forum.

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/2/2007 10:55:34 PM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

due to circumstanses beyond my control, i cannot answer this question in open forum.

Don't be shy Michael, you can share with us. What happened? Did you wake up one morning to find someone's balls slapping against your chin?

~stef

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/2/2007 11:27:02 PM

canupleaseme

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I think my limits when i started out in all this were also based upon inexperience. Some of them have changed over time.
When i first started out in bdsm my only limits were the usual skat /blood/childrens etc Ive since added adult babyism. Each to their own but after going to a friends house and being introduced to her 'baby' (which is fine no problem with that ) and then feeling really really uncomfortable while she breastfed him then changed his shitty arse in front of me

I just found it hard to deal with so thats now a limit for me.

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/2/2007 11:29:33 PM

WhiplashSmile

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Through Deep Mental Exploration while sitting on the toliet!

Now to answer the question....

A cross between trying and thinking about things, along with good old fashioned communication to exchange thoughts and ideas with my partners in crime.

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/2/2007 11:55:10 PM

azzmaster

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i suppose things that disgust me r a hard limit. what is disgusting 2 me might be exciting to someone else of course.
case in point the diaper incident described above

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 12:15:24 AM

WhiplashSmile

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Adult babyism is a hard limit of mine as well... It does nothing for me.. actually it totally turns me off... thinking of a sexy lady wearing a diaper and taking a poo poo for daddy to change is........ Gawd, I'm going to have nightmares when I go to bed tonight...

I should update my Checkoff list on my profile to include... MUST BE ALREADY POTTY TRAINED!!!

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 1:06:51 AM

mons

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greetings

i arrive at my hard limits from many slave or submissive asking me to do thing i find so bad it did make me ill the hardest limit is being a slave toilet eat shit that is something that right away i could not stand and i do understand many pratice this alot that is their kink i do not fault anyone but it is not for me and i do hate when someone asks me to please let them be my slave in that manner another is young 18 years and under hate it so strong. animals, i like someone who name is not fuck me fast that is a turn off sending me gross nude pics is another just not something i want to see. i come to my hard limit by hearing and having be asked so there are more but those are the most iimportant to me many hear never mention littles one so it is not needed to mention. many are pretty safe and sane which is so good

take care and wow you will find many things as you go along

warm wishes
mons

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 1:15:24 AM

mons

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greetings again

i just remember why that one hard limit was so bad for me ( the shit eating ) as a child i had a father who was crazy he said and did things that made me sick to this day. we he told us a story and was 10 years old. he told this story without care that it would just make all of us mental sick. so the story was a man had cook dinner for friend and oh this is a true story. so he cook this dinner and come to find out he had put shit and the recipe and serve it to his friend no one know but somehow it was found out and i donot know how to find out more i was to young to remember the man name or which it was. then my mother had a friend she was i guess a domme ion day and this is why i tell kids not to listen to what your not to hear. she had a male friend and she would stand on the table and poop inot a plate and she would make him eat it. so my hard limit came from way back my mother would say she was sick. i should not had heard this tales at all but i heard them and it has changed what i would do to anyone slave or sumbissive

thanks for listening
warm wishes
mons

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 1:33:36 AM

WhiplashSmile

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OMFG... anything dealing with Poopy, I want no part of it! Sorry to all you human toilets out there! HARD LIMIT! STOP! My mind can't go past go!!

I'm a bit of a Masochist.. and these stories are too painful to my brain!!

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 2:33:18 AM

canupleaseme

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lol I used to have a profile that said must be potty trained on the requirements !!!
My friends nan ( who is really cool) is in a nursing home and she says she feels like its a creche! everyone has a nappy on and they all dribble bless maybe we all become adult babies !!!

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 3:31:29 AM

adaddysgirl

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i had no hard limits in mind when i first got into D/s because i didn't even know what that meant (i was introduced to D/s by a guy i dated off a vanilla site and i had never even heard of 'the lifestyle'). Anyhoo, i learned my hard limits as i went along and i was very lucky that with each partner, they 'experimented' and when i discovered a hard limit, they respected that.

i personally would not change my hard limits because i know exactly how they make me feel and i am not willing to 'go there'.

Oh i might add too that the only limit i had when i first started was monogamy but that was just a relationship requirement and wouldn't change, D/s or not.

Daddysgirl

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 4:40:47 AM

onestandingstill

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Some were trial and error, and others I just knew I would not participate in that aspect of things before I got started.
Trial and error has actually removed some of the hard limits I came into the life with two years ago.
Bruises, needles and caning were things in the beginning that were hard limits that once I tried them became some of my favorite things.
I'd also like to say limits I had with one person were not necessarily the same limits I held with another.
Over all my limits change and vary over time and trials.
suzanne

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 4:42:37 AM

mnottertail

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I took a wrong turn out of my driveway and hit them on a dead end road on the way to pick up groceries.

Ron

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