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Maybe this is the answer? - 3/2/2007 8:41:14 PM   
Nosathro


Posts: 3319
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Orange County, California
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There have been a few discussion here in CM on the number of people in this Lifestyle who also are active in Renaissance Faires, SCA, Adira etc.  I think I found a reason for this.  Recently I was attending a BDSM Munch and a person there was talking about how Vanilla people always ask him about what he is going to do and him trying to not reply with the fact he is going to a Dungeon Party or something related to this Lifestyle, yet they continue to ask for details.   In my work if those who work with me found out about my BDSM Lifestyle I would be fired.  The Co-workers are aware of my participation in Renaissance Faires, so when I am asked what my weekend plans are (one which includes a BDSM activity)  I simple reply it has to do with my Medieval/Renaissance activities.  I get this strange look and an "Oh" then they walk away.  End of conversation.
 
I wish you well
 
Nosathro

_____________________________

"The love of a slave girl is the deepest and most profound love that any woman can give a man. Love makes a woman a man's slave, and the wholeness of that love requires that she be, in truth, his slave." Magicians of Gor, page 31
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RE: Maybe this is the answer? - 3/2/2007 8:45:50 PM   
sharainks


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I had this kind of question from a man in one of my college classes once.  He asked what I was doing for the weekend and I told him that I was going to a pervert's convention.  He then asked again and got the same response.  He asked a 3rd time and said "no really what are you doing?"  He got the same response.  Its amazing how people don't believe the truth when you tell them something like that.

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RE: Maybe this is the answer? - 3/3/2007 8:40:05 AM   
Termyn8or


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It's hard for me to imagine the kind of job that discovery of a kinky lifestyle could get one fired. I'm trying to fathom it right now. Schoolteacher, orderly at a mental institution, can't think of much else. Of course any job where you deal with kids would be in jeopardy because the fuddy-duddies don't realize the we are probably the farthest thing from pedophiles around.

Indeed, if I had kids I would do my damndest to avoid exposing them to kink, if they find the lifestyle, let them find it on their own. Kink is sort of like being gay. Might not have to be hidden from everyone, but certainly needs to be hidden from some.

Perhaps I am lucky in the fact that my job is as secure as the company itself. I could imagine it now, in the boss'es office "You apparently have an enemy", "What ?", "Some guy called here and told me you like to tie girls up, even get tied up yourself and you actually have a chastity belt". "Really". And then, "So is it true ?" I would laugh and say "Hell yeah it's true, it is fun as all hell, you should try it". But that's me.

Society has gotten to the point where they can't fire you for being gay, now it's our turn. Actually if you got fired simply from being discovered as a kinkster, I think you would have a pretty good case for wrongful dismissal as long as there was never any impropriety on the job and your performance was adequate. I mean they can't even fire you for drug abuse now without the risk of you knowing the law.

That's right, if you got a good five years or so on the job and an otherwise work record, if a random drug test gets you fired, go see a lawyer immediately. They can no more fire you for that then for getting the flu. There are exceptions. If you drive a company vehicle forget it. There are probably specific jobs also, where any deviant behaviour can get you canned, but not all that many.

I don't know about everybody else, but I have had the kink bone since I was 8 years old. Alot of gays say that they would never choose to be gay, but I reject that. They did choose, but what impelled them to choose ? A desire that will not go away. I say they chose, but I understand. Having a part of one's life which needs to be hidden from the public is no fun. The activities may be fun, but dealing with the rest of life is not.

I have reached a point in my life where I could damnear tell anyone anything, but not everybody can say that. And of course the fact that I could doesn't mean I want to.

I am curious, Nosathro, as to what kind of job you have. Actually I thought of a few more jobs that would benefit from not revealing kinkiness. Anyone in the public eye, TV/radio personalities, but I mean serious ones. For example Howard Stern could get away with damnear anything, whereas Howard Cosell wouldn't be so lucky. Public officials could be blackmailed, and that is not just an opinion. I remember a certain governor not too long ago who got discovered as being gay. Actually anyone in a position of authority should be careful.

But why ? Someone could portray themselves as a family man and get elected, later to be discovered to be gay. Well that person lied. On the other hand, if, during the campaign they just came out with it, saying "Yes I am a flaming faggot, I puke when I see a naked Woman, and I like big boys", well, I would have to see what their position is on the issues. To be that honest would be a breath of fresh air these days. Even though I am not gay at all, they might just get my vote.

So what job, what type of organisation would eject someone summarily just for being kinky ? Simple discovery of facts, never a problem related to the job.

T

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RE: Maybe this is the answer? - 3/3/2007 10:40:15 AM   
Nosathro


Posts: 3319
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Orange County, California
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Tal Termyn8or
 
To answer your question I work in Social Services.  I find I am one of the few males in this line of work and I am now working on getting out of it.  California has a so called "Right to Work" Law but it is actually "Work at Employers Will"  meaning you can be fired at anytime, no reason given.  In this occupation I have experienced many conflicts, one not being Christain another is my choice in music (I listen to Celtic Music).  I had one Supervisior openly state he did not like me, reason..not Christain.  I had Co-Worker and a Supervisior of another department constantly report me for something to the Director, much was false.  I file a grivenes which went as far as my supervisior desk.  Many Co-Workers openly have told people I am werid because I paticpate in Renaissance Faires.  Believe me, if they knew I was Gorean and in the BDSM Lifestyle many women would run to the Supervisior to complain..and I would get fired.
 
I wish you well
 
Nosathro

_____________________________

"The love of a slave girl is the deepest and most profound love that any woman can give a man. Love makes a woman a man's slave, and the wholeness of that love requires that she be, in truth, his slave." Magicians of Gor, page 31

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RE: Maybe this is the answer? - 3/3/2007 12:56:10 PM   
Thadius


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Hello Nosathro,

Just curious about whether you believe that lying about your plans for the weekend is better than just keeping it private?  Also, where does lying fall into your understanding of the Gorean philosophy?

I wish you well,
Thadius

P.S. I would understand if you would prefer to have this talk in private, so feel free to email me.

_____________________________

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends." ~ Japanese Proverb

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RE: Maybe this is the answer? - 3/3/2007 4:17:47 PM   
Nosathro


Posts: 3319
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Orange County, California
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Tal Thadius
 
Lying..perhaps.  But there are issues of privacy..and who wants to be unemployed?  It does keep those a bit too curious away.  Personally I do not see any conflict.
 
I wish you well
 
Nosathro
quote:

ORIGINAL: Thadius

Hello Nosathro,

Just curious about whether you believe that lying about your plans for the weekend is better than just keeping it private?  Also, where does lying fall into your understanding of the Gorean philosophy?

I wish you well,
Thadius

P.S. I would understand if you would prefer to have this talk in private, so feel free to email me.


_____________________________

"The love of a slave girl is the deepest and most profound love that any woman can give a man. Love makes a woman a man's slave, and the wholeness of that love requires that she be, in truth, his slave." Magicians of Gor, page 31

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RE: Maybe this is the answer? - 3/4/2007 6:35:10 AM   
Termyn8or


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Brother, you would have a pretty good case if they canned you. If that ever happens, while it is a "right to get fired" state, they still have the same federal laws. If they ever fired me under those circumstances I would say "Are you REALLY sure ?" after the "Yes" I would say, "Thank you, and my lawyer thanks you".

I would do whatever I could to get out of there though. Spending a third of your life in a hostile environment is not good. Or, if your qualifications are really good you could seek to get promoted to a position above those who make the problem. When you get higher on the food chain you'll meet a whole different kind of people. You might not like them, but they are different.

Once you have another job lined up and are about to give notice, perhaps you need to put a plaque on your desk with the nine charges of Odinism, and wear a Tshirt with a rune on it. (the rune was adopted by the National Alliance, a pro-White racist group).

I have worked for Christians who tried to shove it down my throat. The stupid shit used to thank God for every dollar he made, not me, the guy who made it for him. I am so glad to be out of there, even at three dollars less per hour. I can still make it. These Christians I used to work for were very adamant about making sure I kept my nose to the grindstone, this place now is more lay back. They look at the end of the day and see how much work is done. For years I never knew the joy of standing around the water cooler listening to a good joke from a co-worker. The heathen I work for now is something else.

I like it in the private sector, in small business. I am the same size fish but it is a smaller pond. What I do affects company profits directly and profoundly. In a way it is a responsibility, but it has it's benefits. When you give a reason for missing a day as "I was up partying all night" or "I got laid", you may have found your niche.

I have been at my new job for a little over two years now, and I wouldn't trade it for almost anything, they can stick their 401K where the sun don't shine, I want my money now, while it is still worth something. Yup, the corporate/institutional environment is not for me, not any more. I remember the corporate environment, it was like being in jail.

A buddy of mine works at a large university, after a tour of the place I know I could never thrive in that environment. And I don't think anyone does.

In a way people move to the suburbs to get where there are less people around them, I think we should apply the same thing to work, where most people spend about ΒΌ of their total time in life.

I have changed, my last job I quit about 6 times, now when I get aggravated I just look at the clock. When the second hand goes all the way around I made 33 cents. When they jam me up, slow me down, do not give sufficient cooperation, I just look at the clock. I do not ask people to get out of my way, they should F______ know to stay out of doorways. They are learning. They are learning my look. If I am looking at them and glance at the clock, they are learning to instinctively know that they are in my way.

Of course my way does not work everywhere, but it will work here. I do not say please or thank you, nor do I expect it. I thought we were a team, does the quarterback thank the linesmen after every play ? Hell no. Not rude, just not polite. Business is not about polite unless dealing with a customer.

I have finally found a job where the people are not the problem, or at least they try not to be. I wish you luck in finding something like that.

And when you do, I would go to that supposed Christian and have a stern talk with him, and tell him that if he doesn't like you for not being a Christian, he certainly must not like himself because he is definitely NOT Christian. I am not Christian, but am probably a better one than most today. Christ taught humilitly, compassion and tolerance. Some didn't learn.

T

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RE: Maybe this is the answer? - 4/19/2007 5:48:40 AM   
favesclava


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Joined: 2/15/2007
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last friday at shift change one of the grls leaving asked if she i was going to be home in the am so she could pick up a bottle of Bacardi i had. i told her no that i was going to be tied up all weekend. the night staff behind me broke out in laughter and all at the same time said Literally! this is an upscale religious nursing home. i also wear my pentagram, actually wear 3 visibly. i wore them in them when i worked in am too.
ps. i'm the units charge nurse!

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