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RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/2/2007 3:01:56 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

i've seen some slaves, self-identified and otherwise, who are not service oriented in the least and some submissives who are extremely service oriented, but i see your point agirl. Thanks for the response.

Ditto your comment.

In fact, the whole *assumption* thing has made me drop both terms. M calls me his slave.......and I fulfill HIS criteria for that term...........but I don't for most others.

agirl

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RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/2/2007 3:49:51 PM

MasterFireMaam

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From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

But this lets me share a story- at the last party, my partner and I hung out afterwards to do clean-up. I suggested he do some vacuuming as we had done a wax play scene and everyone knows that no matter how careful or spread out your cloth is, wax bits get everywhere. So we asked one of the people where the vacuum was, they pulled it out for him and he went to town working on the whole area.

About a half hour AFTER he starts, this girl (who is a well known owned local slave) comes over and meekly tells him that he doesn't need to do this because the owners of the establishment have their own service do that. And she's been there the WHOLE TIME watching him do the vacuuming and just now thinks to come over to tell him.

If she said it meekly, perhaps she was extremely shy and it took that long to build up courage enough to share her opinion? I've seen people like that.

Master Fire

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RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/2/2007 3:57:22 PM

juliaoceania

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Service oriented submissive here

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Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 23

RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/2/2007 4:16:21 PM

heartfeltsub

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That is also how i identify myself, but i have had others, not only the person at the party, but also a former and current Dominant who say that i am more slave-like. i was trying to figure out if that identification by others was due to my being heavily service oriented. From the answers, i think it may be for some other reason.

heartfelt

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Post #: 24

RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/2/2007 4:22:28 PM

Stephann

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From: Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

i have been debating posting this thread for a while because i did not want to spark another endless debate on what is the difference between a slave and a submissive, but a situation has arisen to which i would like some opinions.

Recently at a BDSM party, i was cleaning in the kitchen during and after the party and another attendee commented as he went past that i was a good house slave. Although i do not identify as a slave, but rather as a submissive (for personal trust reasons alone), i did not correct him. But the comment got me to thinking.

The question that arose is if someone is service oriented are they more likely to either self identify or be identified by others as a slave? i am asking this question not only of those who are service-oriented, whether they identify as a slave or not, but also of Doms/Tops etc who when You see someone who is service-oriented, do You mentally put them in the slave "category" so to speak.

Thank you in advance for your responses.

heartfelt

I feel almost cheated, that LA hit the answer almost immediately ;)

But yep. The hang up isn't about the label, or what it means. I can look at a painting, and say 'wow, look at how he used the brown.' A woman next to me will laugh, and say 'silly man, that's mauve not brown!' Gee, my bad.

Really, it matters less what people call me and far more what I believe their intentions are. Bull made an offhand comment in another thread about how he can't really speak for submissives but for slaves.....etc etc. The fact is, some people don't see a difference between a submissive or slave. Some people prefer to associate only with a certain 'style' of play. The symbols behind the word may be very important, but it's easier if we match those symbols up instead of hanging on the words.

Stephan
Desperate for a kitchen slave.

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RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/2/2007 4:28:55 PM

heartfeltsub

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As i already have a gig as a housegirl and you live a realllllly long way away, sorry that i can't help you out.

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Post #: 26

RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/2/2007 5:58:57 PM

littlesarbonn

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From: Stockton, California
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These days, I really don't give that much thought to nomenclature such as slave or submissive. I'm both. I've been both. Sometimes, I'm one or the other. It really doesn't matter to me anymore. However, since the advent of the Internet, it seems to matter more and more to people who seem to see real world experiences through the eyes of a digitally written media. I remember when I was living a TPE relationship with a dominatrix. Once the Internet came along, no small amount of people had to chime in and explain why, according to Webster's, American Heritage, Al Qaeda's Reference Library, or whatever source they felt necessary to bring up, that it wasn't a TPE by someone else's definition. That's really important because that's where the problem comes with the whole "am I a submissive or a slave" dichotomy. There is no one definition for either lifestyle dispositions, yet everyone has a set response as to what it means or does not mean (this of course does not include those who agree that there is no common definition).

This would be fine, but there are people out there who take their jollies by actually deconstructing the lifestyles of other people. I know people say this all the time, but if you feel you are a submissive, be a submissive. If you feel you are a slave, be a slave. If you feel you are a cheese sandwich, ...um, I'm kind of hungry now, but that's not important right now.

Back to the original question: If someone comes up to you at a party and says you are a very good house slave, I don't see why being thankful for a kind comment isn't the natural reaction. As long as someone you don't know hasn't come up to you and called you HIS or HER slave, then it sounds very much like a compliment waged towards someone who is cleaning up. Anyhoos.

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Post #: 27

RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/2/2007 7:19:02 PM

WhiplashSmile

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I would have thought Hostess, unless somebody said or mentioned otherwise. Perhaps he got the idea from conversation with others...

I would not have known if you were sub/slave/switch/Domme or otherwise...

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RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/2/2007 7:31:15 PM

ExSteelAgain

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Depends, as June Allyson, used to say in the commercial. If I go to a Dom’s house and he has a couple of subs that he is obviously close to and one or both are getting drinks, serving and sitting on the floor in various stages of undress, I tend to think of them as his slaves. I mean, I could ask if I really wanted to know.

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RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/2/2007 7:52:34 PM

gooddogbenji

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Service oriented sub, but essentially see it as my goal to ultimately become a slave.

I can't really explain what it means in this medium, but I figure I will find the right woman to explain it to one day.

Yours,

benji

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RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/3/2007 2:58:53 AM

heartfeltsub

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And that is exactly what i did, i just thanked him. It just got me wondering is all, because other people in the past have also said i was more "slave-like" . So i was wondering if that description came in part because i am heavily service-oriented. Just wanted some other opinions and view points. Thank you for your response.

heartfelt

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Post #: 31

RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/3/2007 3:00:21 AM

heartfeltsub

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i can understand that, thank you for your response.

heartfelt

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RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/3/2007 3:02:22 AM

heartfeltsub

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At this party most of the s types were in various stages of undress (grinning) so i guess that give a certain impression. Thank you for your response.

heartfelt

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Post #: 33

RE: Not looking for another debate - 3/3/2007 3:05:32 AM

heartfeltsub

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Thank you for your response, another service oriented sub. The part of your response about ultimately becoming a slave is very interesting, that thought process. Good dog like you Benji deserves a good home (grinning). Thanks again.

heartfelt

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Post #: 34