RE: money

RE: money (Full Version)

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AquaticSub -> RE: money (2/27/2007 5:13:09 PM)
Ummm... Valyraen contributes to the groceries and he's promised to buy us a new vibrator when he gets a job. Does that count as support?

SusanofO -> RE: money (2/27/2007 5:23:56 PM)
Oops, I think I posted on the wrong thread before (sorry, I am a bit tired). But anyway, I think whatever is workable is what people want to work out between themselves, there are no hard and fast rules. Submissives can work, not work, and I think ditto for Dominants. Maybe some arrangements are more common, but on the whole, I don't think it's probably that different from "vanilla" relationships. - Susan

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: money (2/27/2007 5:25:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: simplewhispers do you support your sub financially if they are 24/7 with you Yes I would if he belonged to me, I'd feel responsible for what he has and doesn't have. quote: how about online with of couse with meetings, do you help support them if they are in need ? Hell NO! But than again you can't serve me or be my slave from online, so this would never become an issue with me. M

sloki -> RE: money (2/27/2007 5:45:56 PM)
I dont let anyone near my money either. I had a bad experience with a (vanilla) ex. She took her new gf shopping with my bank card and ran it over 600.00 in the red. Took me over six months to get out of that hole. During our relationship, I made twice the money she did so while I was supporting her the whole time, she had control of all the money. This relationship btw sent me running back to the leather scene. Its more honest. I will never do that again, Today I operate on a fair trade policy. If a top wants me to stay home as a service submissive ( I am not a slave and never will be), I not only expect to be supported, but I want a savings account in my name only with enough cash put aside for me to move on if needed. I like to work and would prefer to do so, but because I work in the service (bar) industry, it makes no difference. I could be convinced to stay home full time, or only work part time as long as my skills are used at home. I have no patience (or respect) for a top who does not work. She can make less than me, but I need someone with a working and social life. There is no way in hell I would pay a top for my services, that would be like paying your boss to go to work. More power = more responsibility.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: money (2/27/2007 5:49:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: simplewhispers do you support your sub financially if they are 24/7 with you , how about online with of couse with meetings, do you help support them if they are in need ? My partner and I keep our finances separate and pay our own bills- but we also pay for stuff for eachother all the time and I know that if either of us needed help, we'd provide it. I've been used to provide financially for my owner before, and I've been spoiled financially before. http://www.collarchat.com/m_73308/mpage_1/key_money/tm.htm#73308 Where does money come into it? http://www.collarchat.com/m_85402/mpage_1/key_money/tm.htm#85402 Money Matters http://www.collarchat.com/m_86294/mpage_1/key_money/tm.htm#86294 The control of money http://www.collarchat.com/m_140655/mpage_1/key_money/tm.htm#140655 Money and sexism in bdsm http://www.collarchat.com/m_276420/mpage_1/key_money/tm.htm#276420 financial decisions http://www.collarchat.com/m_472811/mpage_1/key_money/tm.htm#472811 In the beginning, money issues

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: money (2/27/2007 5:51:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Why would I be attracted to a women who is not employable? I don't understand why someone would not want to work or be incapable of doing so? Why anyone would want to pay someone's way? says much about the shortcomings of both parties....If someone were going for an education that would be the only exception outside of an illness. Hmm if I could, I'd HAPPILY not go into the workforce. It really doesn't suit me much and I find a huge ton of happiness at keeping the home, running errands, doing volunteer work. Practicalities of life, however, intrude.

SingleRarity -> RE: money (2/27/2007 6:08:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: simplewhispers do you support your sub financially if they are 24/7 with you , how about online with of couse with meetings, do you help support them if they are in need ? It would depend on the person and the nature of our relationship, but in certain cases I would be willing to support my sub financially. I would not do so with someone that was not living with me, online or not, and I do not think I would help support them financially either unless our relationship was already very much established in the real world.

azzmaster -> RE: money (2/27/2007 6:14:01 PM)
i work and there would not be enuff for them to do to justify not working. if i settle down and the mother of my children wants to take a couple years off for childraising i would consider supporting her, but someone who was just around the house all day would be BORING to talk to. what r they gonna talk to me about? the laundry? hell nah

WhiplashSmile -> RE: money (2/27/2007 6:14:43 PM)
Personally, this is something which should be negotiated between the Dom and sub before entering into a 24/7 relationship. Who's in control of what, to what level and everything else. Is that not part of what attracts people to BDSM, that they can lay all the cards out on the table, negotiate and come to clear expectations and terms?

simplewhispers -> RE: money (2/27/2007 6:18:40 PM)
let me say this differently ....... I wondered if most slaves/submissives work outside the home, or is this considered part of Dom's responsiblity ? When I asked if you gave money to an online sub,I wanted to know if she/he needed money to lets say pay an elec bill and asked you for the money , would you do this all in the name of ownership?

CreativeDominant -> RE: money (2/27/2007 6:20:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: simplewhispers do you support your sub financially if they are 24/7 with you , how about online with of couse with meetings, do you help support them if they are in need ? I would not. I grew up in a household with two professionals as parents. My ex worked as a nurse and I have always worked. I've stated on here before that I believe that two people need to contribute to a household, especially when the submissive is used to having certain things and I know I am used to having certain things. I also do not care whether she makes more than me or not, I would not ask her to support me. I like what I do for a living and I would not want to give it up. As for whether or not the fact that she made more made her decide...on her own, with no influence from me...to contribute more to the household and other areas, again I would not care. I have no desire to get into my submissive's financial dealings except in the following ways: She must work She must contribute to the house that we BOTH live in She must not steal from me If she asks for advice as to how to spend her money, then she must be willing to listen to the financial professional that I would advise her to seek out

ownedgirlie -> RE: money (2/27/2007 6:29:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: simplewhispers let me say this differently ....... I wondered if most slaves/submissives work outside the home, or is this considered part of Dom's responsiblity ? When I asked if you gave money to an online sub,I wanted to know if she/he needed money to lets say pay an elec bill and asked you for the money , would you do this all in the name of ownership? I do not live with my Master. I am not only expected to work and go to school, but to excel at both. When I have struggled financially, he required me to manage my money better, saying he would rather not have to take it over himself. When I am unsure about something financially, I ask for his input and he will advise/direct me as he sees fit. He is not one to bail me out; rather he teaches me to bail myself out. Not always easy, but necessary.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: money (2/27/2007 6:29:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: simplewhispers let me say this differently ....... I wondered if most slaves/submissives work outside the home, or is this considered part of Dom's responsiblity ? Most work out of the home and you could never tell they were any different from any other vanilla couple 90% of the time. But plenty do not have regular paying outside jobs as well.. quote: When I asked if you gave money to an online sub,I wanted to know if she/he needed money to lets say pay an elec bill and asked you for the money , would you do this all in the name of ownership? Some masters order their slaves to be keepers of the finances and actually have to ask the slaves to make purchases and whether it would be a good idea to buy something. And some masters keep it to themselves and never let the slave have any finances of their own without express permission. The majority of relationships out there, however, function as more vanilla dual income families do.

behindmirrors -> RE: money (2/27/2007 6:34:40 PM)
I am not supported financially by my Dom- we both work, and both contribute to the funds of our living situation, bills, etc. Personally, it would frustrate me to not be allowed to work, whereas to him, it sounds like a godsend. I cannot cope without having time out of the house, and feeling like I have something to do. Working outside of the house makes me feel productive, makes me feel like I have something of merit to offer the world, which I am compensated for, and makes me that much happier to be at home when I get back. In no way do I think that people who do just work in their home are any less of any of these things- I'm just saying that it's how I feel. Plus, I simply enjoy getting that paycheck with my name on it, and like what I do. Would I support him? Absolutely, and hope I'm someday able to support both of us, so he can pursue something more fulfilling by working for himself doing art, music, and writing. Will I give out a loan if he's in need? Absolutely, if I can, and I have- and he has done the same for me, and we both make sure the other gets back what we borrowed. Would he do these things for me? I think so, if the situation warranted it or that's what he wanted- and what I wanted. For now, I don't. Just my small contribution- behindmirrors.

domiguy -> RE: money (2/27/2007 6:37:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Why would I be attracted to a women who is not employable? I don't understand why someone would not want to work or be incapable of doing so? Why anyone would want to pay someone's way? says much about the shortcomings of both parties....If someone were going for an education that would be the only exception outside of an illness. Hmm if I could, I'd HAPPILY not go into the workforce. It really doesn't suit me much and I find a huge ton of happiness at keeping the home, running errands, doing volunteer work. Practicalities of life, however, intrude. Shit. I hear ya' sister...to express a little clearer that I think it is cool to have as many interests as possible...But in the same breath, I don't live for my work, but there is a feeling of satisfaction of getting out and doing your thing...Work supplies me the ability to pursue my other interests and I think most people to get some sort of feeling of accomplishment from doing something to provide for themselves or others. Ideally it is wonderful if you can make your hobbies or pleasures into an income producing vehicle. It's understandable if someone lived on a farm or had a large spread that there might be a great deal of work required to keep everything in order...But a regular old household w/o kids doesn't require all that much to keep things up. rambling...got to go.

SilverShadows -> RE: money (2/27/2007 6:45:32 PM)
I have no idea what most other people do, so that part of your question is beyond my capacity to answer. Would I give an online slave/sub money? No, unless I wanted to buy them something. I might send gifts. As for paying for an electrical bill, I wouldn't be getting my money's worth online. Anything online for me is friendship, fantasy, or moving towards real life LTR. If we had meet in real life and they needed the money to join me or settle things so they could I would consider it. I’m no-one’s sugar mama.

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