RE: Easy Submissives...

RE: Easy Submissives... (Full Version)

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slaveish -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/27/2007 6:13:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx (not by my request or instruction, but simply on sheer desire) wearing a butt plug while at work for 8 hours at a time a couple of days a week. Don't you think this was a source of great pride for me? Jeff (redux) This is actually quite sweet. ~smiling~ I am not an easy sub, although I do know my place and manage to stay in it most of the time; however, there are things that trouble me and I can become rather heated and disrespectful. My Master works with me to keep me mindful of what my place is and the rewards for me when I remain there but he also kinda gets a charge out of soothing me and letting me come go back to my place myself from the sheer desire to be there and to be pleasing.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/27/2007 7:25:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: losttreasure If you are a dominant who finds excitement in "making" your submissive do what you wish... who enjoys the power of pushing your sub beyond previous boundaries, knowing that he/she is uncomfortable in doing so, would a sub who "lays down" and submits willingly, without complaint or trouble, take some of the thrill out of it, for you? ok..let me see if I understand this question correctly..basically you are asking, when a Dom./sub are finally comfortable with one another and boundaries are essentially no longer there..will the Dominant one become bored of the compliant submissive, the submissive that is no longer nervous,hesitant,mildly reluctant...that in effect the "challenge" is gone?....I suppose as a submissive, I would hope there would continue to be further depths to explore, for if you are not in essence absorbing and learning and striving to become better in every aspect of your life..then you stagnate and die...as far as how Dominants view this question as I understand it...I know not..maybe you are thinking simply the physicial?...I continue to hope not for it would seem they would prefer what they created to putting it away and looking for another creation....ach my head...round and round we go.....[:o]...Tempting

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/27/2007 7:38:05 PM)
Maybe it is kinder to do the physical domination thing. I’m not out to do some Manchurian Candidate, voodoo crap on a sub and turn her brain into a 40 ouncer in a brown bottle, but I do get what you are saying. I’m out for both of us to have fun in a way where she pleases me, takes my safe whippings in a way she will ultimately desire and be content and happy. Nothing dramatic and I don’t want to be cruel even though I enjoy causing pain…ha. The thing is that it is around a scene, play or whatever when I use physical domination. If she balks at something, I may grab her or whatever, say, yes, you will and force her. She told me on the computer tonight how she feels so submissive when I stand behind her and put my arm around her neck. So that is physical, but because she knows I do it and I know it makes her helplessly submissive, it is far less cruel than a psychological assault. So it is all a humane blend even if it looks positively and completely physical and cruel. Make sense?

DoctorDubious -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/27/2007 7:53:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: losttreasure If you are a dominant who finds excitement in "making" your submissive do what you wish... who enjoys the power of pushing your sub beyond previous boundaries, knowing that he/she is uncomfortable in doing so, would a sub who "lays down" and submits willingly, without complaint or trouble, take some of the thrill out of it, for you? Dear lost -- umm---foundtreasure... and all... First, congrats on "being found"... Now, on to this interesting question.... Yeah, I suspect many enjoy this whole pushing boundaries thing, I know I do.... >>would a sub who "lays down" and submits willingly, without complaint or trouble, take some of the thrill out of it, for you? To answer most in the most direct fashion, yes, if she was just a "pure doormat" without brains or discretion or will or the self esteem to say "NO" to anything at all, then that would totally put a damper on the experience. But isn't "this thing that we do" also about a spirit of exploring not just the exchange of power, but discovering and expanding the outer limits of trust, as we play on edges of experiences that society tries to forbid to us? DD, an occasionally transgressive old goat. PS... and what's a hard limit anyways? I had a magical experience with a divinely submissive masochist this summer. She, gorgeous and experienced in the "lifestyle" told me she hadn't cried in 20 years, and so I took it on myself to play covertly there, betwizt and between ass-whuppin's and other more obviously dommish acts. We have limits on what our body will take, and those limits can be tested. We have limits on what our hearts dare risk, and those limits surely MUST be expanded. I'm not sure, but I suspect she'll remember her crystal tears a lot more significantly than the welts on her ass... or the control I took over what went in and out of her mouth.... I know I surely will.

moki1984 -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/27/2007 9:30:55 PM)
although willing to submit completely without objection...before that i need him to "force" me on all 4's...i suppose if they dont then to me their not strong enough. thru talking with different doms some seemed to find that defiant streak irritating , others found it a challenge

mnottertail -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 6:13:08 AM)
I did, right under MsKatHouston's post. Ron

losttreasure -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 7:06:56 AM)
Oh. I didn't realize. Probably because I have no idea what "grapeing" is supposed to be. There's a slang term where if someone has been grabbed and raped, they are said to have been "graped". Do you typically get involved with submissives who go around grabbing and raping people? [;)] I'm wondering if you might have meant "griping"? Do you mean that if you've a submissive who submits willingly, without complaint or trouble, you make a point of purposely finding ways to make her uncomfortable and complain? If so, does it concern you that continually pushing her beyond her comfort levels in order to satisfy your need will erode trust and ultimately damage the relationship?

chrissyslave -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 7:48:41 AM)
I appreciate this question in terms of the match-up aspects of submissive to master from mostly a sub viewpoint. For example, I have very little actual BDSM experience but my fantasies begin with being forced to submit and struggling against being placed in a vulnerable position, say in a spread position, or wearing a mask and ball gag. I imagine that if I either "got into costume" or initially willingly started to "role act" in a dungeon scene completely voluntarily that would seem unexciting to me, compared to the hot aspect of forced submission. Probably why I prefer a taller man and bigger body than mine so he could overpower me, or feel he could if wanted/needed to do so. But in the larger M/s relationship I'm not so sure it goes very far to that extent, however early on my not being as quick to respond, or lack of proper focus, might be a sign that he will need to exercise some discipline to encourage that more fully. But that is not at least consciously my desire (but sub-consciously maybe, and yes a wittle pun). I do have what I call soft limits (someone called "quasi" limits) and am open to those being pushed in the right conditions, and have some hard limits that would be much tougher to do so with. By nature I won't be an easy submissive no matter how good my intent, but my desire will allow me to submit and with His help and pushing I will comply and grow into my fuller submissiveness. But the question to me is how does that compared to the style preference of my mentor/Sir? Or to consider when first discussing this with a potential new Master? Do subs/slave ask these kind of useful questions up front? And how that fits in with my nature to resist (even if I do so regardless), and then be overcome by either superior physical or mental force? And combined with whether either type fits in better with a 24/7 r-t relationship or would work with a mostly on-line one? For now these are questions I need to ponder and check with Sir about as the answers for our relationship are important. But what is for certain is my mentor/sir is physically strong and strong mentally as well so that is a positive thing, and he says he does not look for the easy fixers slave cases. Yahhhh! Finally, are we supposed to be easy to be considered a "good" submissive? chrissyslave

vield -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 8:09:45 AM)
There are times a challenge is fun, there are times an eager and very willing partner is fun. I have found that for me, the latter situation is most likely to generate the intensely magical levels of joy and bliss that I have only found in BD/SM. When one is fighting with the challenges, the play always remains more superficial for me whether I am the dom or the sub in that situation. I KNOW this is not true for everyone, but we are all different.

mnottertail -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 9:10:17 AM)
grapeing: To bend over, peel and just generally have your way with them. (a car salesmans term). Ron as in a grape I know what dominates are and what griping has so not a misspelling

losttreasure -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 9:22:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail grapeing: To bend over, peel and just generally have your way with them. (a car salesmans term). Ron as in a grape I know what dominates are and what griping has so not a misspelling Oh well... now I'm just confused. [:o] I asked (essentially) if a compliant sub takes away your thrill of conquest, and you answered: quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail nope, cause they are still grapeing, and I can find something to give them pause. Ron So... your submissive is bending you over, peeling and just generally having their way with you... so you find ways to stop them?

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 9:24:21 AM)
I like a slave with fire however she must know where the line in the sand has been drawn,She steps over she is in deep doddo smiles...I don't want her to become just tooooooooo comfortable in this relationship always keeping them on their toes ,,,bounty

mnottertail -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 9:55:35 AM)
nope, they are the grape. There is always something that will cause a momentary reluctance in even the most depraved human. I would search that out. So --- but you are simply testing me. Ron

daddysprop247 -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 10:00:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: losttreasure Okay... allow me to ramble on here with a train of thought and maybe clarify my question just a bit. There's been some discussions on the boards here recently that have demonstrated some aspects of domination that I hadn't really considered and in essence, my curiosity has been piqued. To a degree, I've discussed those things with FirmHandKY as they relate to him and me, but I'd really like to get a broader feel and perhaps gain some additional perspective. What I'd like to know is if the "turn on" for you (or your significant other) is the exercise of power in a voluntary or involuntary manner. I'm not really talking about consent here... leaving aside the vehicles we use to establish and maintain relationships, I'm asking about the base pleasure you feel in dominating. What turns you on... gets your motor running... floats your boat? Is it the power of having someone trust you to the point of turning all control over to you... of simply being in the position to say what and how things are done (voluntary submission or submission that is willingly given)? Or is it the power of being able to exert control and overcome any obstacles (involuntary submission or making someone submit)? And to clarify, I'm not referring to "bratty" or argumentative behavior... but genuine reluctance to the point of refusal. I suppose an example would be rape. Many have talked of rape fantasies, but there's also an acknowledgement that they can seem somehow less because in a BDSM relationship, there is always (hopefully) underlying consent. So they aren't really rape but merely role playing a rape. If there were no social, moral or legal ramifications, does the idea of being able to select someone off the street that attracted you and do with them what you wanted, with no regard to what they wanted or whether they liked it or not, would that be the kind of dominance that turns you on most? And if so, does having a submissive who willingly and happily agrees to submit to you... perhaps one who pledges you no limits and never gives you the opportunity to flex your "control" muscles... would that somehow diminish the "turn-on" for you? sighs edited to correct poor grammar every Dominant is different....some "get off" from the challenge of bending a reluctant or strong-willed submissive to their will, and some need total obedience and compliance in order to get their motors running, although you don't seem to hear about this sort of Dominant often. my Master is the latter type....he can't stand a willful, difficult, "make me" sort of submissive. however he also does not require that a submissive be happily, complacently submitting to his every whim either. He demands unquestioned obedience, without any hesitation....but a submissive need not be happy about it or do so without emotional struggle. in fact, knowing that a submissive is indeed struggling or suffering, yet still obeys instinctively, always, is part of the rush for him. the first night we met in person, after a few hours of being very casual and "vanilla" together, with absolutely nothing of an erotic nature planned or anticipated by either of us, all of a sudden his "Dom horns" as he calls 'em came out, and he says "get over here and suck my dick"....now of course i was shocked/confused/surprised/etc., wondered what the heck was happening, yet as these thoughts raced through my mind, my body immediately moved to do as i was told. He points to this moment in our history as the first sign that he knew i was something special, and something he had to have. because despite the authoritative, even arrogant way in which he told me to suck his dick, in reality he was not expecting me to do it, or at least not without some questions/discussion about it first. instead he gave the order, i instantly moved to obey. no challenge. the epitome of the "easy submissive"....and for a Dominant like him, such a submissive is a treasure beyond value. for a different type of Dominant, a submissive like myself would be worthless. they would say things like, if she always submits so easily, what would be so special about her submission to me? or where would the challenge lie in bending a fiesty strong sub to my will? that is why i am so grateful that there is someone out there for us all, even in this "alternative" lifestyle.

losttreasure -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 10:07:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail nope, they are the grape. There is always something that will cause a momentary reluctance in even the most depraved human. I would search that out. So --- but you are simply testing me. Ron I'm simply trying to understand. With you it seems as if I'm having to challenge in order to prompt a straight answer. As I asked you above and as would apply to anyone else who has responded thus far, would it concern you that continually pushing her beyond her comfort levels in order to satisfy your need might erode trust and ultimately damage the relationship? Tempting also touched on a part of my thoughts above... can there be ultimately a point where you've expanded your sub to your own limits, and there is no longer any challenges to thrill you?

mnottertail -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 10:33:52 AM)
no.

losttreasure -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 4:49:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail no. lol... a straight answer, at least.

mnottertail -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 5:26:49 PM)
but losttreasure, it is exactly what I said the first time, with less flourish. Ron

CreativeDominant -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 6:12:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: losttreasure If you are a dominant who finds excitement in "making" your submissive do what you wish... who enjoys the power of pushing your sub beyond previous boundaries, knowing that he/she is uncomfortable in doing so, would a sub who "lays down" and submits willingly, without complaint or trouble, take some of the thrill out of it, for you? I think there can be a sometimes-fine and sometimes-blurry line between wanting one or the other. I've always said I do not want a doormat submissive. On the other hand, I do not want a brat submissive. Like MSTRJX, I was involved with a submissive who had never had anal sex and, unlike his friend, wanted nothing but fingers. But...she was curious about it and so had it listed as a soft-hard limit between us. I told her that someday it would not be...and then I set about doing what I could to ensure that. There were some struggles along the way but at the end of it all (great pun MSTRJX), she wound up loving it to the point of asking for it at the end of almost every scene that also involved sexual play. It then became another means of controlling her sexuality. I felt great joy in being able to do that...having the patience and finding the skills within myself as a partner and as a dominant to help her get to that point. I don't want to struggle over each and every thing. That is one reason I spend as much time getting to know a submissive as I can and learning her likes, dislikes, thoughts...not just about D/s but about the world we live in. Sometimes, her thoughts about the world and the way she interacts in it and with other people in her closer sphere give some valuable insight, even if it is just to show you that she does act completely different with others than with you, her dominant...it can still show you that a differing person exists within this submissive. It is also why I am clear upfront about what I like and don't like and what I want and don't want and what I will do and won't do to achieve it. I won't start each day fresh, having to earn every bit of submission I get from her that day. Been there, done that in a vanilla relationship. But...I don't want her to say "Yes Sir...right away Sir" when I tell her to hand over her paycheck when we have never discussed her turning her money over to me.

novicecourtesan -> RE: Easy Submissives... (2/28/2007 6:58:24 PM)
this is a tough question, because I'm not sure what it means to be an easy submissive. To be challenging, playful, occasionally disobedient, craving some punishment--all this is different than being hardheaded and stubborn in a situation. That said, it's best if submissives were not too easy before being sure of their doms....

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