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RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 3:35:50 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
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To clarify what you are tying to say is that Dominants consider themselves superior to others of the same gender. i.e a dominant man considers himself to be superior to other men and dominant woman considers herself to be superior to other women?

There are plenty of people on this site that I would say are superior to me in intellect and in the way they live their lives, some of them are dominant some are submissive, some are male, some female, some bisexual, some switch oh and one in particular is a troll. Their "superiority" comes from their actions and they way they conduct themselves.

Just because you call yourself a Dom or a Master or a Domme does not make you one.

(in reply to fusion)

Post #: 21

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 3:37:22 AM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fusion

To clearify when I say dominants consider themselfs superior, I mean to their others; that would for myself how I compare myself to other men. I do not consider the submissive nature as inferior in the least I have said before. What is easier to be bound to the whipping post or to do the binding. Takes more courage to stand in a room bound naked and helpless waiting for who knows what to begin? Or to wear a black leather vest and humilate your slut? LOL In the aggreagate I would say the very quality of the submissives I have meet here and in real life is probably three times that of the dominants I have known, most seem like what I call non competitor run away men. Sort of like the women who live in Big Sur a rural place of unreal beauty, close to where I live brave selfsufficent women who have had to settle for the outcasts of life for men. I am not being judgemental I am shinning light on dark corners of this world. Fusion

I have great difficulty understanding Your posts. I wanted to respond but I am not sure how since the post makes no sense to me.

(in reply to fusion)

Post #: 22

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 4:42:39 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

i had a female contact me once and wanted to get to know me because my Dom had asked her to do so. Her contacting me was the first clue that He was even looking for a third and the female He had been talking to didn't know anything about poly and was totally shocked when i explained to her what He was doing. When she confronted Him about His relationship with me, she bolted...didn't want to be in a triad... which, neither did i. Ended up with her never meeting Him and me leaving Him and like the Aesops Fable about the dog and the bone my Dom allowed His sexual greed to result in having none at all.

All that being said, i think it's a lot more honest for the Master to let His sub/slave know His desire and need for poly and to allow her to find someone she likes and who she believes would also be suitable for the household. i'm sorry to say this but sometimes even Masters do tend to think with the smaller head.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to Squeakers)

Post #: 23

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 6:05:39 AM

Caitriona

Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

When seeking a third for our relationship, both My Lord and I searched. He was far more involved than I was in the online looking, but we both realized it was imperative that I "click" with the girl that we brought in. So he would email/chat with someone and if he felt we might be well suited, initiate contact between myself and the girl. All of this was done with the understanding that anyone coming into this relationship is expected to have a relationship with both of us - not just Him.

We've met people at munches, presentation and a local dungeon but nothing sparked the way we wanted it to. We didn't put a time limit on the process - we tried to let it happen as naturally as possible while being upfront with our desires/abilities.

As it turned out, a friend of mine, whom I met through CM, begged release after finding out (again) that her former Master was lying to her. We decided to see if the chemistry between all of us worked offline as well as it did on. I am happy to say that she's now in consideration to join our family. It was certainly the last thing I expected when I became friends with her, but I am grateful that we have this opportunity.

_____________________________

Property of Shadowraven
Serving alongside ciarra

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 24

RE: Pimping for your Dom? - 2/25/2007 6:34:11 AM

SimplySubmissive

Posts: 216
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fusion

I have been baffled by the numbers of submissives on collarme who have been given the task of recruiting new women for their so called masters. If a person claims to be dominant, or a master, that would imply they consider themselves superior to their others. More attractive by their self confidence and charisma. So how is the most dominant of jobs given to the submissive? I consider that to be a SHAMEFUL THING BEYOND WORDS! How does one given that job still see her master as anything but lower than the lowest cheating husband they at least don't ask their wifes to help them out!
Fusion, who does his own hunting,,,

well, i was once told that if i chose the new girl then i couldn't complain later if it didn't work out.. amazing what some of these "Doms" come up with.
It can help for the girl to be involved in the search, though, because it is a couple that is searching.. not a single Dom. Best to do it together though, or better yet, stop worryng so much about that elusive second bi poly sub/slave and enjoy the relationship you have. If another comes along great, if not, well great too. I just think so many spend a lot of time and energy looking for that second. I don't believe it's healthy to focus on this. Just my opinion, before i get slammed.

(in reply to fusion)

Post #: 25

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 6:35:07 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

I am shinning light on dark corners of this world.

heh, that would make a great sigline for you.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to fusion)

Post #: 26

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 6:46:07 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fusion

If a person claims to be dominant, or a master, that would imply they consider themselfs superior to their others. More attractive by their self confidance and charisma.

This assumption is wrong so your argument is flawed.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to fusion)

Post #: 27

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 7:01:03 AM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

Master is more having me keep an open mind about it, than really look. He knows that anyone we bring in our home will have to mesh well with both of us. Since it would be someone as a sister to me, he allows me a lot of say-so into who it will be (if anyone). This is something we have talked about a bit, but aren't really on a search for..if it happens, great, if not, it just doesn't.

I agree we need to just enjoy being with who we are, and not so much out there searching for the perfect third to add to it. I think if we project out there what type of relationship we have, it will attract others that would fit in well.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 28

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 7:04:23 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

There is a silly theme that runs through your post. You are superior to other Doms. The women who live near you settle for less than stellar men, presumably because they don’t mess with you and I suspect that is the problem here.

Being Dom does not mean that you view yourself better than other Doms. Everyone is an individual and you will find many smarter, better looking, tougher and better tacticians than you are, just as I do. It doesn’t mean you are inferior except if you choose to think that way. So relax, take your time and get out of the newbie Dom frenzy which is what I think this is all about.

Now, that I have gotten that out of the way, I will say it can be tiring to come up against those seeking a second or third sub when you are looking for one. Heh. I can recall when I was between women and hanging out in the old AOL chatroom, Southern Submissives, looking for someone to develop a friendship with, about 75% of the subs there were looking for a sister sub, while about that percentage of the Doms were looking for second subs. The few of us who were just looking to find a sub or a Dom friend came together like magnets turned the right way.

Seeing Kyra’s post right about mine, I am reminded that many people prefer poly as many of my friends on CM do. You will learn to be far less judgmental as times goes on.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to fusion)

Post #: 29

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 7:41:36 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

pimping for your dom...if you are activly helping in the aquiring others then you are pimping I believe you are pimping for him.Just because you have that "dom master or domme" in your handle doesn't make you one...A MASTER must master himself after all theses years I am still serching and learning yes I am a master because others deem it so and I have come very close to the mastering of myself..For this reason I smile when I see a profile master john master, roy or master of you for theses people are very insecure with them selfs and stating the are master dom or mistress in their own mind makes them so...OF courses just the views of this ol" master......bounty

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 30

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 7:55:38 AM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

when Master needs more than me , it makes me feel like a failure, I am aware that its not the right way to view ...... but I am being honest...... surely I am not the only one ..

(in reply to susie)

Post #: 31

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 8:05:59 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

That is why i make sure potential Masters know up front that i am not suitable for a poly relationship.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 32

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 8:10:04 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

How is everyone defining poly?An owner with more then one slave or entering into a relationship with a dom couple.I believe the two are entirely different...bounty

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 33

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 8:17:29 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I find it comically when someone comes along with the self-inflated ego and has all this lifestyle wisdom.

Unfortunately.... their Wisdom is at the elementary level.... and many are well beyond that.

This reminds thread reminds me of a saying ....

"Better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt"

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to fusion)

Post #: 34

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 8:21:09 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BOUNTYHUNTER

How is everyone defining poly?An owner with more then one slave or entering into a relationship with a dom couple.I believe the two are entirely different...bounty

I see both of these as poly. They have a different authority structure but still poly.

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)

Post #: 35

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 8:26:45 AM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

simplewhisper, do not let others tell you your feelings are wrong because you do not wish to 'share'. i am monogamous, i will not be part of a harem. If a Master approaches me that is one of the first things i make clear. For me, it is non-negotiable. If he decided at some point down the road to bring in a third, he would be looking for two as i would be out the door in a NY minute.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 36

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 8:38:45 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

Feeling oneself superior to anyone, let alone on the whole of some category is not confidence but some made up mixture of low self esteem, arrogance and narcissism. That being said you do see this and a lot with dominants on some level especially online. I often compare it to a misguided peacock, a way to show off their feathers not realizing it is a big turn off. I often noticed dominants that go out of their way to tell people how much better they are then others is almost always without anyone.

People can have plenty of reasons for who takes the lead in making contact with a new person. The fact though is if both people are not putting in the effort and communicating with the third then they are asking for failure. People see people through their own eyes and too much of my Master is this and this or my slave is this and this will probably drive people away. Takes all people equal effort from the start for the best chance of success.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to angelic)

Post #: 37

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 8:38:51 AM

CMastersen

Posts: 63
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

for Me this brings up a more basic question about these Alternate Life Styles:
Are there Rules?
When I think of 'Alternate' I think that would sugest doing things outside of the norm, outside of the rules, not they way Everyone wants it to be done...
And yet some (some days it seems like many) people get their virtual panties in a bunch if anyone else is doing the Alternate not in a way they percive everyone should be doing it.
Has the Alternate become regulated? and (outside of local laws) who regualtes Alternate Life Styles?

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Fusion, it is the girl, afterall, that has to be the most comfortable with the new girl. That said, I feel it should be the responsablity of both, or all, to screen the new girl. Which may be the case, you just aren't privy to the dynamic.

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 38

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 8:45:01 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BOUNTYHUNTER

How is everyone defining poly?An owner with more then one slave or entering into a relationship with a dom couple.I believe the two are entirely different...bounty

Perhaps I am wrong but I do not see what we are looking for as poly. The idea is to find a woman to join us for a scene and not a relationship as such.

As for pimping for him that is certainly not the description I would use. I need to feel comfortable with the whole situation so he has tasked me with making the initial contact. He is perfectly capable of finding his own female company when he wishes to do so and as I am not involved in his meetings with those people I have nothing to do with his search for those women.

As for people using Master or Dom in their names, I do not see you saying the same thing about those that have sub or slave in their names. I have found that usually those that use these titles online do so because of the convenience it affords them when using chatrooms etc. It seems to be a fairly common enough convention in most places online. Personally, I find the person behind the name far more important than any title used on here and that comes across in their profile and their postings far more than they choice of nickname.

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)

Post #: 39

RE: Pimping for your dom? - 2/25/2007 9:14:15 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

I often noticed dominants that go out of their way to tell people how much better they are then others is almost always without anyone.

This is an interesting observation... one that I happen to see some truth to. A line that I ask to myself and sometimes to them is

"So how is that working for you in finding someone?" The usual response is that they are looking for a needle in a haystack and it takes time. Well the haystack is not that big.. and magnets work wonders to find a needle. Some attract.. and some repel.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 40

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