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From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 10:56:52 AM

Knight0Errant

Posts: 32
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

Advice for the day: If you encounter a Dominant and he/she does not show respect for your current (and previous) relationship(s). Best to stay away.

I find myself mortified at the tactics some 'Dominants' use when encountering a sub that they know is already taken by another Dominant.

Some people are very selfish. They do not think about others nor consider the price others must pay for them to get what they want.

It is sad that this selfishness is misconstrued as a dominant trait by people on both the dom and the sub sides. It isn't. It's just being an ass.

One of the foundations of the community is respect. Someone who does not show this is not worthy of it. And in all likelyhood won't end up showing it to YOU as his/her sub either.

Post #: 1

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 10:59:15 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I don't expect others to show respect for my relationship. It's my relationship and I make of it what I will.

This community is based on many people feeling a sense of belonging- I can assure you that every person in that community has been considered disrespectful by someone at some point.

Enjoy what there is to enjoy, and leave the rest.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Knight0Errant)

Post #: 2

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 10:59:39 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

If your sub is faithful to you why are you concerned? Are you worried that someone more Domly may steal her affections? I think it's funny when Doms whine about such things, it makes you appear insecure.

argh spelling edit

< Message edited by KatyLied -- 2/13/2007 11:00:33 AM >

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Knight0Errant)

Post #: 3

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 11:15:19 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

A- holes are like opionons........... everyones got one

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 4

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 11:22:18 AM

Knight0Errant

Posts: 32
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I didn't say I was concerned. I'm not. I said I was mortified. Annoyed. In both of the communties I am involved in, this sort of predatory behavior would get the offender removed from the group. The internet being a wilderness largely free of responsibility and consequences as it is, I see how this sort of behavior thrives.

However, I do think you missed the point of my post. Certain behaviors can be reliable indications of similar behaviors in other areas. Will the dominant who does not respect your relationship then not respect your limits when you are helpless in his/her power?

My purpose was to note a 'red-flag' indicator. Noticing these is vital online. It's a safety issue, is it not?

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

If your sub is faithful to you why are you concerned? Are you worried that someone more Domly may steal her affections? I think it's funny when Doms whine about such things, it makes you appear insecure.

argh spelling edit

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 5

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 11:24:17 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I have the same feelings about people who make a play or proposition those wearing wedding rings. You know there are disrespectful people everywhere and they have been so throughout time. Best thing is, ignore it like you would some drunken jerk telling you how beautiful you are...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Knight0Errant)

Post #: 6

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 11:29:59 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Knight0Errant

My purpose was to note a 'red-flag' indicator. Noticing these is vital online. It's a safety issue, is it not?

No, not really. One needs simply to utilize the off button on their computer and viola, completely safe with a click of a switch. Alternatively, there's this wonderful little X button in the corner of IM windows and emails which is just as good at ridding oneself of harmful online interaction.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Knight0Errant)

Post #: 7

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 11:34:51 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I don't find the behavior mortifying. Not everyone is going to conform to your moral code. Nor should they. Hopefully a sub is faithful in her relationship. If she isn't you have more problems than Doms chasing her.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 8

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 12:30:35 PM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

It becomes a fine line that when considering cyber world makes it almost impossible to consider. On the whole I do agree that people not accepting what is mentioned in a profile is as a red flag, but I also do not believe that a gross generalization is a good thing as well.

There is an eye of the beholder to it. What one might think is disrespectful another might think as harmless communication. Sometimes it might also be a simple misunderstanding or poor/lazy communication skills.

I really despise how people most often use the word respect. It is usually used in terms of someone not treating me like I wanted them to treat me and that is just too fine of a definition for my tastes. In this example a person writing and not taking the words in a profile as facts and instead pushing their views, assumptions or need to feel superior is not about “respect” but the person showing either a mental deficiency and/or just being stupid. I am guessing these people are ones that are always in perpetual search mode as well.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 9

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 12:42:32 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

I understand your annoyance but this happens in all lifestyles. Are you going to be mortified to be a man because some guys can't keep in it their pants? I'm certainly not going to be ashamed to be a ?woman because some woman are teases or bitches.

I've had dominants try to steal me away, I've had mistresses and I had vanilla men try to steal away. I'm not stealable and they find out very quickly that they just earned themselves a place on my "Even if I find myself single again, I will never be with you" list. It's their own problem really. Isn't this like being embarrassed to be human because some of us are drunks?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Knight0Errant)

Post #: 10

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 12:49:46 PM

sleazy

Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Knight0Errant
I didn't say I was concerned. I'm not. I said I was mortified. Annoyed. In both of the communties I am involved in, this sort of predatory behavior would get the offender removed from the group. The internet being a wilderness largely free of responsibility and consequences as it is, I see how this sort of behavior thrives.

Lucky you, almost every community I have ever been involved from the office to the golf club and the bar down the road I have witnessed lust, infidelity and every other human trait good or bad. Online or on the floorboards people are people and I expect nothing more than that.

On a personal note, if a dom tells me a sub is unavailable there is a damn good chance I will ignore it, if the sub says so herself then I will take heed of that.

_____________________________

Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

(in reply to Knight0Errant)

Post #: 11

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 12:56:32 PM

texancutie

Posts: 322
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

Their behavior does not mortify me, am used to it. I just have fun with them now. Am very successful at getting them to stop messaging me or emailing me after a few messages have been exchanged. All this stuff just goes with the territory, so I am never surprised anymore by anything. Have had to block very few people in my time here. I also know I can handle someone real life at a play party or munch. And usually it can be done with respect in real life. Online is another thing entirely. I take it for what it is worth.

(in reply to Knight0Errant)

Post #: 12

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 1:03:36 PM

valeca

Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline

Safety issue how?
Online, go with Bita's example. Click X.

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to sleazy)

Post #: 13

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 1:07:43 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

If you are only "annoyed" you don't take it seriously ENOUGH. It is people who only get annoyed that are the real problem.

Real dominates like myself carry knives and we gut these people and use their skin to make the collars for our slaves, that is how REAL dominates do it!

Nobody is bigger about protecting little subbies than SuperDomSimplyFantasticManlyMichael!!!!!!!!!

(in reply to Knight0Errant)

Post #: 14

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 1:11:38 PM

chrome

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/2/2006
Status: offline

Well as far as asshole Dominates, One would think they would show enough respect for themselves and for others to extend a reply to emails. I know this submissive garners all the courage I have to send a blind note. As if they can not take a min to show a modicum of ettiqute. If they can not carry themselves any better how do they intend to trian another to carry themselves well. And where do they think they weill get any respect, It is not granted because they call themselves Domme.
Now I know this may come under fire,I just needed to vent.
Thank you.

(in reply to Knight0Errant)

Post #: 15

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 1:14:46 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Chrome,

No offense but if you are too shy to send an email then you lack the self confidence to enter into a relationship.

(in reply to chrome)

Post #: 16

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 1:16:42 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I don't have anything like this in my journals----it may be some kind of site glitch...

Supportless

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 17

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 1:20:20 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Our community is no worse and no better than society as a whole. You will find assholes, cheaters, fakes and other negative people as well as heros, leaders and mentors and other positive people in all societies.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Knight0Errant)

Post #: 18

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 1:22:13 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

My journal just details the locations of where I buried the many mistakes I have made. You know the kind, like where you learn not to do slip knots and suspension bondage, don't use inflatable ball gags and nose plugs, or the one I keep forgetting about, not to do mummification over the face! One would that with all the trouble of dragging those limp bodies out to the desert, digging those deep goddamn holes, and then filling them back up again would drive those lessons home but it doesn't.

Of course, keeping a journal like that is risky but I just love risky play! Besides, submissives are a dime a dozen, just go online and post about how super safe, sensitive, and your high moral standards and BINGO! Hordes of Horny Hotties!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 19

RE: From my journal: Asshole Dominants - 2/13/2007 1:22:52 PM

SCDommie

Posts: 176
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline

Dodges the flames. SCD

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 20

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