Bi Polar Submissives

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FatDomDaddy -> Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 2:04:40 PM)
I have run across quite a few submissive/slave/bottom women (I have taken more notice recently from postings on another thread) who have indicated they suffer from Bipolar Disorder. I do not see it so much among the women who identify themselves as Domme/Top/Mistress' . Is it possible that the things that make a woman more of a Top (generic sense) stave off the disorder while the things that make a woman a bottom contribute to it? Or are the D/T/W hiding it as not to appear weak? (I phrased this toward women because I cannot recall seeing men post they are Bipolar, nor do I read male profiles, so I honestly cannot speak to that.) My late wife suffered from this but that was over 18 years ago and I am sure leaps have been made it its treatment. Still, unless one lives with the mania and depression, it is difficult to understand or comprehend it. Personally, I always had the most difficult time with the manic runs, as I imagine most partners do for they are the bright flames that are so attractive. Still.... I wonder how it plays out in WIITWD. Especially the sexual parts for I remember how the medications would zap her of any libido. I would also be interested in posters who have felt that their disorder has made them a targeted and feel they have been exploited.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 2:09:36 PM)
I'll give the same answer I give when people ask if subs experience more abuse than non-sub: There's always the question of whether people in ds actually experience sexual abuse more than other social groups OR whether they are just more willing to talk about it as this is an alternate lifestyle social group, OR whether certain orientations somehow lead to people being vulnerable and more likely to experience abuse even at a very young age. Until we really have a clear answer to that, we really can't discuss a correllation or causation with much certainty. ** On this issue, I'll say I think it's simply more likely openly discussed and accepted for fem subs to experience bi-polar than it is for dominants, female or male.

CrazyC -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 2:34:10 PM)
Oh i was just mentioning to someone else that there needs to be a study on something like this, and is one of the reasons psychology is so interesting. Mental health is one of the newest sciences, and the most changing with new studies coming in continually. Hence, my love of this science...if just my memory was better for it. Yes, medication has made leaps and abounds compared to what they use to perscribe 20 yrs ago. In fact, it has changed alot since just a few years ago. That and many doctors (mostly those straight out of school) have learned many other alternatives to medication. I have found those who haven't been stuck in the system are the best doctors. My father is from the "old" school of counciling, and i find myself amazed at how much he thinks the victim attitude is ok. I do see some "victim" patterns in myself and others as i read. I personally have met enough BiPolar people here to know that there is a variaty, and we all have our quarkes. I have been told i wouldn't be a good sub, because i was BiPolar. I got upset for maybe two seconds and then let it go. He was obviously ignorant about mental disabilities. When someone with a disability has gotten treatment, medically and through counciling, and have worked on any patterns they have in their life, others wouldn't even know there was a problem. I still have my falls, but still able to function in the everyday world.

gypsygrl -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 2:35:47 PM)
I can't answer your question, but there seems to be a perception that there's some correlation between being a submissive and being bi-polar. (and lots of other bad things to) Shortly after I began to identify as submissive, and began posting on a community yahoo group thing, someone pulled me aside at a party and suggested I might be bi-polar based on a single posting I made. It was explained to me that lots of subs were bi-polar and I had nothing to be ashamed about. I had been way hyper after a scene, and was trying to get ideas about how to calm down because my energy surge was outstripping my ability to use it. At the time, I was brand new to the internet (I think the internet itself encourages a kind of mania), and approached it quite naively without censoring my emotional tone and without realizing the kind of judgements people come to on the basis of very scanty evidence. Since then, I've learned how to write for the net, and stopped asking the sorts of questions that encourage people to jump in with their diagnoses. I see a therapist/counselor and so far she hasn't mentioned any diagnosis save things related to post traumatic stress but I don't consider that a disorder and neither does she. To be honest, I get a little impatient with these kinds of questions because they carry the implication that there's something wrong with being submissive, and that submitting is a symptom. I'm pretty self aware, and can draw connections between things that happened in my life and my preference for submitting, but, for the most part, that's irrelevant to who I am now and my individual pursuit of happiness. I guess my thinking is that if you go through life with a bunch of diagnostic categories, you're going to find people to fit them. If you just stay focused on people, the stories they tell and how they act and wish to be treated, the categories cease to matter. I'm way hyper right now. :)

toservez -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 2:39:52 PM)
Pretty much with what LA said. The nature of this life tends to bring more frank talk and so people might be more open to talk about such things as past abuses and mental diseases that someone might not talk about in the regular world. I also strongly do not believe we are talking about female and submissive when talking about these things in this life. I would bet all my money that the percentage is similar with males and/or dominants that suffered abuse or has mental issues. It is just something a male and/or dominant are not going to admit for the usual reasons. Do I think that this life has a higher percentage of these things compared to the general population, yes I do. Do I think it is a great percentage difference, no I do not. Abusers and co-dependents/enablers will find each other, probably because no one else will put up with them. Non abusers certainly do not target people with these issues as the truth is that path is a slippery slope and has bad odds.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 3:00:21 PM)
The chemical treatment of bipolar has made leaps and bounds since your ex-wife. Most mood disorder drugs are now in a class of drugs that were actually created to treat epilepsy. In small doses, they seem to offer mood stabilization. I agree with LA...it's much more accepted for submissives and slaves to have a mental disorder. Our society has a stigma attached to those who have a mental illness, one that doesn't seem to match the "idea" of being dominant. The perception I've noted, as wrong as it is, is the classic "Poor thing...she/he just simply needs a Dominant in their life to straighten them out." It's ok for them to be a little off balance because they need help anyway. On the flip side, a Dominant is supposed to be all together and basically "the rock". Being an off balance Dominant is unsightly as best and dangerous at worse, in this perception, but the same doesn't apply to subs/slaves. These perceptions of both come from old beliefs about mental health and the perception of people with disorders. Granted, there are people who fit the stereotype (or else we wouldn't have it) and there were many more in days gone by. But, the advancement in mental health care treatments in this area has been huge. What does us the most damage as a whole are those who don't care for themselves properly. And, I can understand where that comes from. It hasn't been until the last few years that I've been able to seperate alcoholics from social drinkers. I'd never seen any other form of drinking other than an alcoholic...therefore all drinkers were bad. Since unstalbe bipolar people are much more likely to draw attention to themselves, people will assume that this must be how ALL bipolar people behave. Not true; not all Astronauts are jealous revenge killers. With all that, I've made no bones on the boards or in my life about admitting I'm bipolar. I've had subs and slaves decline the pursuit of relationships because of it. I have ups and downs just like all normal people, I simply need a chemical (actually two) to help make those swings to be less dramatic. I take my meds religiously and see my 'chiatrist on a regular basis. I'm not opposed to seeing a 'chologist when I need one. It all works for me. Master Fire

MagiksSlave -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 3:46:01 PM)
Ok beeing bi poler has nothing to do with my choice to be a slave.. I was diagnosed as Bipoler at the age of 13 in that time I have been in many groups and met many many girls and boys my own age group that suffer from the disorder and I can safely say of all the friends I made through those groups many of wich I am still friends with I am the only one I know that is into this life style.. And while I dont know about Mistresses and Bipoler I do know that my Master suffers from the symptoms as well so it doesnt only strike those with submissive perssonalities... its just like anything els if there is enough of it going on to be represented in the world you will find it represented in BDSM too Magik's slave

FatDomDaddy -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 4:53:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrazyC Oh i was just mentioning to someone else that there needs to be a study on something like this, Great minds thinking alike perhaps...lol I would add this however, I'm guessing there are quite a few self-diagnosed folks on here. For the same reasons LA and other's later mentioned (D/T/M hiding it as to not show weakness) there are probably quite a few s/b/s who use it or pretend the have it for the sympathy factor a I know from my own experiences with the illness. I still remember vividly when one doctor explained the "White Knight Syndrome" to me.

Sirandlittle1 -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 5:36:07 PM)
Im a mental health clinician. I have many clients with this diagnosis. I see no correlation between BPAD and BDSM. What i do see, is the person, so eaten up with their particular dilema, that they have no resources to fix, and when it squeezes them too tightly, they get themselves the hell outta there. With a manic defense. Statistically, there's about a equal number of folks who have BPAD with excellent control on the illness, as there are those that dont. As most countries have bdsm in the DSM 4 diagnosis of deviant, it would be near on impossible to complete random trials to find an answer. My own observation of the group that have poor control is this, there are usually reasons for the poor symptom control, such as drugs, alcohol, psychosocial issues, non compliance for either good or bad reasons to meds. My other observation, is that people are wrongly diagnosed by the following, in order of prevalance: 1st - self diagnosis 2nd - Private Psychiatrists my tuppence worth

adaddysgirl -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 6:33:39 PM)
i have to admit...it does seem like a lot of subs have some type of depression or bipolar disorder. But like others, i don't know if it's just because they talk about it more freely or what. Something else i noticed as well. When a dom would contact me and i would ask how/why his prior D/s relationship ended, the two top answers were : she died of cancer, or in an automobile accident. i pretty much came to doubt that only because how could that be possible 99% of the time? i often thought someone ought to do some kind of study between sub deaths and cancer/auto accidents. Could it really be that prevalent? Or are most of the guys just saying that? DG

bludemonn -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 7:14:42 PM)
Wicked posts! I do think you need to isolate any form of 'depression' aside from things mentioned already such as self-diagnosis and people on the internet judging you by your posts and ofcourse you must dissociate Bi-polar from BDSM altogether in order to get clarity as regards your symptoms, I think its fair to say any form of BDSM activity will produce elation and even come-down which will always either be mis-diagnosed for depression or indeed elation for mania. The talking sciences are not as new as people would have you believe, there have always been counsellors in the forms of sages, witches and healers, it's only considered new to the world of research and science because old school psychiatry, in the form of prescribed medicine for 'thinking' problems, has run its course and so many people are going back to older ways in order to get some answers. I wouldn't personally confuse Bi-polar Depression with the moods that many submissives find themselves in because sometimes any form of deep intense relationship is going to have a draining or enhancing effect, Clinical Depression is severe as is Bi-polar and it's so easy with doctors websites to self-diagnose that so many people can end up thinking they have it.

SCDommie -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 8:04:18 PM)
Greetings: I am a Domme who suffers from bipolar disorder. I was not diagnosed until last year. It started giving me problems at the early stages of menopause. I am 47 now, and had my hsytrectomy. I have noticed more submissives are more likely to admit they are bipolar. It could be because Dominant women may not want their reputation to seem weak. I don't see mental illness as a weakness, but rather an expensive challenge. This disesese is very expensive to maintain. Sometimes, I don't feel quite up to speed. Fortunately, I have a mature slave that helps me keep my focus. I don't have to proove myself all of the time. For example, after my hystrectomy, my moods went crazy. I had to add something else to what I already take. You asked about the side effects sexually? There are times when most women are not as sexy as they wish to be. Some medicines cause side effect. I have not experienced anything like that with my meds. The main thing being bipolar is get to a pshyce. Don't waste your money on threapy, when a pshyce will figure it out in about 30 minutes. SCD

FatDomDaddy -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 10:04:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sirandlittle1 My other observation, is that people are wrongly diagnosed by the following, in order of prevalance: 1st - self diagnosis I think there is far more of this than actual people with the disorder

michaels4evr -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 10:28:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SCDommie Don't waste your money on threapy, when a pshyce will figure it out in about 30 minutes. SCD Best practice is usually a combination of psychotropic medication and some type of talk therapy, especially when first diagnosed. There are many issues a 15-30 min appointment with a psychiatrist won't cover. Many people with mental health diagnoses need support while they become educated about their particular diagnosis. Talk therapy helps to sort out feelings associated with the stigma of mental illness, helps them explore their relationship issues (bi-polar has a way of devestating relationships), and also set in action a plan for managing the disorder. Group therapy is sometimes very helpful as it reassures folk that they aren't alone and also gives them insight into how things can improve.

hisannabelle -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/10/2007 10:58:22 PM)
i don't really think there's any correlation. among other things, i have suffered from major depression in the past, and currently deal with mild depression and bouts of hypomania. my psychiatrist is wary that i might be bipolar, so she monitors any meds i'm on really carefully (since i'm on anti-depressants for fibromyalgia pain and those can be horrible for bipolar), but she's not comfy enough with it to make that diagnosis. for me, i don't really see any relation to it and bdsm other than how it affects my everyday life, which is also affected by my d/s lifestyle.

CrazyC -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/11/2007 12:39:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy Great minds thinking alike perhaps...lol I would add this however, I'm guessing there are quite a few self-diagnosed folks on here. For the same reasons LA and other's later mentioned (D/T/M hiding it as to not show weakness) there are probably quite a few s/b/s who use it or pretend the have it for the sympathy factor a I know from my own experiences with the illness. I still remember vividly when one doctor explained the "White Knight Syndrome" to me. Hmmm and then you wonder why you are only finding subs who seem to have a disability ex. bipolar?? Dude, you have a pattern, and might need to step back and figure out what you are doing to attract these type of women in your life. If a Doctor is telling you about being a "white knight"....he/she forgot to add the words Victim complex! But to be honest, I don't think this should be a general assumption, since I know for myself the "victim" hasn't ever really been an issue.

CrazyC -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/11/2007 12:44:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl Something else i noticed as well. When a dom would contact me and i would ask how/why his prior D/s relationship ended, the two top answers were : she died of cancer, or in an automobile accident. i pretty much came to doubt that only because how could that be possible 99% of the time? i often thought someone ought to do some kind of study between sub deaths and cancer/auto accidents. Could it really be that prevalent? Or are most of the guys just saying that? DG Your right we should get right on this. LMAO

paynestar -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/12/2007 2:27:35 AM)
<I have been told i wouldn't be a good sub, because i was BiPolar. A good retort would be to tell the person that they wouldn't be a good Dom/me because they were an a******.

BuxomGoddess321 -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/12/2007 3:48:28 AM)
I do not know about "most" BPs but I logged in to share my story with you; thought it may interest you. I was diagnosed BiPolar about a year ago; had been treated for major depression for decades. Like someone else said, hormones brought the BiPolar symptoms to extreme light but in hindsite, I've always had it. I identified as a "SWITCH" which seems very appropriate for a BP patient. Had been deeply involved in BDSM since highschool, before there was a "scene". I am 46. I had never had a vanilla date or relationship until this year. Since I have been in treatment (meds, therapy 3 times a week, group support, meditation, nutrition counseling, Native American philosophy, studying quantum physics, my hereditary tendency) I have removed myself from BDSM relationships. Not by anyone's advice. They became nonsense to me. My depression and mania have been under control, and my need to submit to and dominate others in a "lifestyle" relationship went away. Here is the surprise. As I got stable, for the first time in my life, I started being attracted to and attracting "normies" and people with varied interests and no labels. Guess what? They are kinky too. They just aren't obsessed with it. It isn't their "lifestyle". They have lot of other things going on. Lots of interests. But they will spank me, let me tie them up, have sex twice a day, drive around naked, whatever. They LIKE that I have a lot of experience and ideas, they are game and UP for it. We got a hundred other things going on tho, and they dont wear labels. They arent on the internet every day, either. I do not let people abuse me any more. I don't abuse people. I am not in one sided or lopsided relationships (Domme or sub). I have removed a lot of people from my life who are in the lifestyle who were just platonic friends because our FRIENDSHIP was even unbalanced; either I was rescuing them or they were resuing me. My meds have NO sexual side effects. I love to fuck and play, twice a day, just like before. It's just not a Manic drive where I'll make stupid choices about who I am doing it with now. I love the kink. But I need balance now.... and will not tolerate drama, abuse, nonsense, obsessive relationships or dysfunction. If someone today called me a slut, whore, cunt or bitch I wouldn't cry OR spank them. I'd walk away because it would sound stupid and sick to me now. That was about depression and childhood abuse I am working out in a different place. I spent 30 years feeling depressed and submisive, or manic and Dominant. I will ALWAYS be BiPolar. But with all the treatment I am in a totally different head space and I know it sounds really weird but I just can't think of what I do with my collar and cuffs as a "lifestyle" any more because I am about 100 other things that are more important. My life is so much more balanced and rich now. I'd invite you to message me to discuss, but I pulled my profiles off all extreme sites many months ago. It became boring to me and I got messaged by too many dishonest people. I just pop in to see what you all are talking about once in a while. Usually same stuff, different day. This was a very interesting topic with some people who sounded a little more balanced. I think BDSM is cool and not everyone is in it for the reasons I was. This was just MY experience as a BiPolar who is now stable. Thought I'd tell you about my experience...... I have an uncle who is a psychiatrist (was head of the California State Mental facilities) and one who is a psychologist (Professor Emeritus and former Director of Psychology at a college here) married to a MFCC. They help me a lot and tell me BiPolar treatment has made leaps and bounds even in just the past year or two, so I am probably getting very different treatment programs then what your wife got or what past history/experience people are basing their opinions on. I'm lucky and blessed. I hope you get a study done. I'll talk to them about it ;o) Thank you for the thought provoking topic. Be blessed.

bandit25 -> RE: Bi Polar Submissives (2/12/2007 3:51:02 AM)
Are you kidding? They tell you that? Whew, I'm going to start looking more carefully when I cross the street!

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