RE: Sub Drop turning to full blown depretion

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RE: Sub Drop turning to full blown depretion - 2/9/2007 8:04:22 AM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
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I can see why you reacted the way you did, it wasn't childish, just being depressed. A lot of times when I was in the worst parts of my depression, I stayed in, turned my phone off, and wouldn't talk to anyone..not even the ones that tried to "help". In the end it didn't do me any good, but sometimes it was the best way to cope for a few days.

I need aftercare, so I understand your need for it as well. I am not sure why he wouldn't provide it and personally if its something you need, then I wouldn't play in front of anyone either until it was agreed to be given. He sounds more like the childish one, not wanting his friends to see him show affection to his slave.

Since you didn't have the closer with the aftercare, the emotional state you were in stayed there and got worse. I think that sometimes that is what ends it and sets you up for life back in the "real world". You weren't being clingy, your mind was still there so you needed the same type of care you needed back when the scene ended.

You are collared, and a slave, but you still have needs and its your Masters job to fill those needs. (I am not talking wants here people, I am talking needs)

The day that I was collared, I became his, but I also became his to care for..if that need cannot be met in the way you need, then I would evaluate the way things are.

Maybe he doesn't realize how much it means to you, keep the communication lines open, and try not to shut down again, even if your mind wants to.

Best wishes to you and your Master.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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RE: Sub Drop turning to full blown depretion - 2/9/2007 8:44:57 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Sir before you worry about why he is not holding, kissing,hugging, getting all cuddly wuddly because you have had an intense scene and got pissy

i dont know about others, but i know if i'm just left to "drop" after an intense scene, i really drop. Not sub drop, but completely withdrawl, utter sadness, and i am just lost with in me. Not saying one should expect anything, i just know what happens if nothing is given. Its not an expectation, but consequences. Like if he wants me to smile the next day, then he needs to re establish some semblence of balance after taking me to the hell he took me to. If he doesnt care how i am the next day, then he can leave me to work my way out of it.

quote:

Aftercare is a great thing but i don't understand where and when it became "expected, required and demanded and if i don't get it i will act out until i get my way the next time".

Its not about expectations, requirements, or demands. Its about for every action there is a REACTION. If they dont want a specific reaction, then it is their job to create one they want (or to take steps from letting the reaction affect them) The only responsibility on the subs part is to manage whatever reaction comes the best they can. If her Dom didnt want the reaction he got, he should of taken steps to prevent it. He should of had the knowledge of her to know that not giving her aftercare would create a reaction within her. Doing X creates Z.

I was in a similar situation Majikslave. Different type of scene. Heavy scene, alot of pain, really Fing miserable, i hurt, i cried, i screamed, i bit on something to help handle it better. At the end - there was no aftercare. Master simply went to bed. He knows that "hurt" can leave me in a bad place mentally. Which is why usually his aftercare is to hug me, love me, and whisper to me over and over that i am okay. He always establishes that the pain is not a bad thing. He knows how pain is processed in my mind. So he takes steps to change that reaction. The scene i am talking about, he knew how i was going to process it and left me to process it. He simply took steps to prevent me from dropping it on him.

Its not that your Master didnt give aftercare. Its that he wasnt wise about your reaction and he didnt mold and deal with it to what suited him.

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