Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (others will be more kind...hopefully)

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (others will be more kind...hopefully)

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Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (other... - 2/4/2007 4:02:16 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

What's wrong with being a little "off sub"?

I've been told I'm "a little off sub".

Okay...a lot off sub.

Is that so bad?

So I know what I want. That ain't sub?

For the right woman, I'll grovel. For the wrong one...with the wrong approach...(I surely won't).

10 posts....9 from men... (of course) "Why can't I...?" "Why won't they...?"

I know the laws of average leave (male) subs wanting...but, what's so wrong with subs saying...."ya know what...it ain't enough" ?

I know you have the averages in your favor.

(Just curious).

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 2/4/2007 4:17:43 PM >

_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

Post #: 1

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 4:11:59 PM

SeveredNeuron

Posts: 57
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline

Hello :)

You have to remember that not everyone on CM thinks like you do, BDSM and D/s (whichever you prefer) has many different perspectives and opinions possible, none are 'right' or 'wrong'.

Just follow your gut, if they aren't good enough for you then don't advance forward.

Also, who is saying your 'a little off sub', they might have some personal vendetta against you because you wouldn't accept their advances and got angry.

Be careful in your search.

--Ania

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 2

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 4:12:29 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

What's wrong with being a little "off sub"?

I've been told I'm "a little off sub".

Okay...a lot off sub.

Is that so bad?

So I know what I want. That ain't sub?

For the right woman, I'll grovel. For the wrong one...with the wrong approach...(I surely won't).

10 posts....9 from men... (of course) "Why can't I...?" "Why won't they...?"

I know the laws of average leave (male) subs wanting...buts what's so wrong with subs saying...."ya know what...it ain't enough" ?

I know you have the averages in your favor.

(Just curious).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being "a little off sub". You are who you are! If there are specific things you require from the dominant you decide to serve, then I why should you for settle for less?

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 3

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 4:46:55 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

We're SO takin' away your sub card!

Honest reply: be who you are and who you feel led to be. Live with intergrity about it. Then, when you find someone who respects that, you'll have something to work with.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 4

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 5:14:01 PM

givemyall

Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

Yep - Im always hearing it .... "are you sure you are a sub blah blah blah". Like you, im sub to the person with the right attitude, someone thats right for me - whats the point in being something that you aren't just so you attract a Dominant that is completely wrong for you... it doesnt make sense really!

Just be you and be happy - and enjoy being 'off'... its very attractive to some people

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 5

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 5:18:53 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

I think in the end, it all just comes down to compatability and percentages...

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to givemyall)

Post #: 6

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 5:38:25 PM

KeirasSecret

Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline

Your not "not", you just haven't me the one who "is" (for you)

Be well,

_____________________________

It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 7

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 5:52:51 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

We're SO takin' away your sub card!

Master Fire

(I knew I shouldn't have said anything...I've had my sub card for well over 7 years....(son of a fuckin ....) I'm holding on to my card....and ain't none of you bastards takin it away from me....hey...wait a minute....STOP!!!!....

Gawdammit...)

Come back here!!!!!

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 2/4/2007 5:55:51 PM >

_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 8

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 6:38:49 PM

moonspirit43

Posts: 25
Joined: 1/21/2005
Status: offline

I was chatting to someone last night who seemed very interesting and all was going well. Then when I told him I wouldn't meet him in a motel for the first meet he said, "What kind of submissive are you? I'm the dominant here and you'll do what I fucking say!" He got ignored real quick.

People who try to guilt you into things by saying you're not "good enough" in any way are not worth the time. You have to stick to your guns. Don't settle for less than what you wish for. There is someone out there who will think your "off" is exactly what they're seeking.

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 9

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 6:45:37 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

[Ooops].

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 2/4/2007 7:36:31 PM >

_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

(in reply to moonspirit43)

Post #: 10

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 7:07:59 PM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

i have been told i am not submissive, that i am a subbie princess, that i am a true slave, and so on and so on, depending on whatever the proson i have been talking to like me or not and what he or she acording to this will consider a compliment or a insult. Truth is, i can only be who i am, pepole can judge what they see, but i am who i am and i think it is inportant to be who one is and not worry so over what other might call you.

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 11

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 7:19:12 PM

amuzingtoyou

Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline

oh if i had a dollar for every time someone told me they didn't think i was very submissive, i would be a very rich woman. What has always mattered to me was what my dominant thought. Not any tom dick or harry that called themselves a dominant. It has taken me many years to be able to stand up for myself, and im not about to let that go for the sake of submissiveness. I am submissive to my Dominant. He happens to like me as i am. So keep your chin up....there is someone out there that will appreciate all the fine qualities you bring into a relationship.

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 12

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 7:29:21 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

what do you mean by "off"?

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to amuzingtoyou)

Post #: 13

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/4/2007 10:03:00 PM

QuietDom

Posts: 255
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

We're SO takin' away your sub card!

Doesn't matter, now. Subway stopped honouring the cards sometime last year. It seems that too many were being turned in with forged stickers on them.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 14

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/5/2007 2:17:18 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDom

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

We're SO takin' away your sub card!

Doesn't matter, now. Subway stopped honouring the cards sometime last year. It seems that too many were being turned in with forged stickers on them.

Good one!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to QuietDom)

Post #: 15

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/5/2007 6:39:22 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

You're not a sub!!!!

lol ........... but who cares?

you are what you are - why's it got to be defined? N if they dont like it, guess what they can do??

Thats right!

Take a flying leap over a rolling donut

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee got a winner!

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 16

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/5/2007 6:54:47 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

Well, YOUR idea of *what you are* or your knowledge of *what you are* is the one you have to live with. In my book, that's the one that has the most significant effect.

It all becomes clear when people just get to know you as a person, not as a *potential* something-or-other. The moment someone is talking or interacting with you as a *potential*, their notion of what that IS infects it, as a rule.

agirl

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 17

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/5/2007 8:09:18 AM

WalterRego

Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline

Everyone is "off sub".

But submitting is when, even knowing that, you do it and accept anyway.

I think submission will be when I no longer consciously realize I am doing it.

_____________________________

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 18

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/5/2007 11:55:57 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

I'm only sub to one, and I am picky as hell which I believe is a good thing. Because I know what I needed, I asked about those points first off. Anyone who I wouldn't fit with didn't get a second chance to waste my time or for me to waste theirs. What good is a relationship built on lies, with needs unmet and resentments held? If you aren't compatible then the relationship doesn't stand a chance.

One of the things I needed was that the men I talked to knew their own needs. I got an email from somebody who said he could do anything I wanted, literally planning to ignore his own needs just to get a sub. What that meant was that either he would be unhappy or he would plan to change me totally. Neither outcome was acceptable.

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 19

RE: Now, some will consider me "Not sub!", (o... - 2/5/2007 12:16:29 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear LTRsubNW, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my mind's eyes I see, that each person as an individual is created with their unique recipe of experiences, wants and desires. There will be no immediate 'match' per se, as we're all so unique there aren't any duplicates out there.

Miss-match there won't be a correct fit. Nothing is perfect and indeed humans fit into that as well. I know I'll never be perfect and my views of what is perfect for me won't be seen the same way or in the same measure as you would see it.

In my mind's eyes I see-- submission is something that is inspired. I also feel when a submissive approaches and inspires me, I am inspired to Dominate them. Indeed, I have been told I am intimidating, or that I'm seemingly to kind and or gentle for them; and every degree in between. It is ok!

I want slaves to be inspired to submit to me. Not play as a game and or to make light of it. It should be an 'individual's mission.' Not follow the herd of what is popular. Our life's journey is to follow our quest of 'bliss.' The rapture of happiness, void of all the horse and pony tricks and honestly arrived, achieved and maintained.

Some cannot field rejection well and will respond unkindly. Many who are not open minded to entertain what others have to say; as they have to have the last word, humiliate and degrade others, control others and such--well, they aren't a good match and it is best to know that before emotionally and physically committed to them.

I've said to my students through the many years--You cannot control others but, you can control yourself and your space. By controlling yourself and your space, others who wish to enter it will have to change, thus submit to what is tolerated and agreeable to me as to enter "my" personal space.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 20

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