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long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 12:15:55 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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has anyone here ever had a long lost relative, and successfully found them?

i am trying to locate my bio dad but without his last name, man oh man has it been trying. everyone in my family either conveniently forgets or is 6 feet under.. anywho i have managed to patch some facts together and luckily my aunt works in city hall so she is going to try and help too but i was just wondering .....

will i be able to do this on my own or have you sought professional help for it? blah blah

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RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 1:00:21 PM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

you can look his name up in the Social security death index.

i had found a lost best friend.

we both left chicago for opposite coasts- leaving no forwarding addy. one day a paper fell out of my junk- it was her stoic parents. i took a chance and called. i said- pls relay my phone number. her dad said she is married to a new guy and has a new life in CA. i said- i know i met him.

well- just by chance he relayed the messsage- and she called an hour later

BUT now we lost touch again

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 2

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 1:14:01 PM

KenDckey

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Joined: 5/31/2006
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I found some long lost relatives once by pure accident. Hubby (a retired member of the Army) had died and his wife's maiden name was the same as mine. The Army assigned me to assist her throught the paperwork maze. I called and made an appointment to go to her to start the process. When I arrived she had her children and grandchildren there to greet and meet me. She had a book published by someone in TN that had the geneology of the family there back to the one that came over first. I found my great grand father in it. We decided we were umteenth cousins of somekind.

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 3

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 1:20:24 PM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
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I have so many cousins, 2nd, 3rd cousins, and relatives I havent seen in years. I would not know them if I seen them on the street.

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Post #: 4

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 1:25:48 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
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Not a long lost relative.. but long lost friends. i usually try and track them down by the ppl they know. Do you know where he's from? What town? If its a small town, you could always go and ask around. Know any of his family members?

i'm going to be going through this when my wee one is 18. Its going to be hard and honestly i've already figured i'd hire a private investigator. I did go to the man's house to speak to him, but he moved and there was just no way to track him after that. Plus, i wasnt sure i wanted to track him. For her and her history, other side of her - i do........ but for safety reasons i dont.

What do you know about him? Have you a first or middle name? Place of birth? Time of birth? Anything about family members? Have you, your birth certificate (that might have his name on it?). A wedding certificate to your mother (that might has his name on it?) Anything that might?

Sounds tough = ( If you need any help, let me know and i'll put my best effort forward

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My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to pahunkboy)

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RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 1:44:24 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

Not a long lost relative.. but long lost friends. i usually try and track them down by the ppl they know. Do you know where he's from? What town? If its a small town, you could always go and ask around. Know any of his family members?

i'm going to be going through this when my wee one is 18. Its going to be hard and honestly i've already figured i'd hire a private investigator. I did go to the man's house to speak to him, but he moved and there was just no way to track him after that. Plus, i wasnt sure i wanted to track him. For her and her history, other side of her - i do........ but for safety reasons i dont.

What do you know about him? Have you a first or middle name? Place of birth? Time of birth? Anything about family members? Have you, your birth certificate (that might have his name on it?). A wedding certificate to your mother (that might has his name on it?) Anything that might?

Sounds tough = ( If you need any help, let me know and i'll put my best effort forward

well for many years, before i was 18 my family would say "dont you think theres a reason none of us know how to find him" apparently... he wasnt a very plesent man... but all plesentries aside, all my siblings have blue eyes, and i have green. it drives me mad. my motivation is mostly to see his green eyes - which i hear are vivid

anywho

i know his first name, where he lived when he met my mother [how ironically, the same place i am currently living , but its sooo big ... and its been 23 years]
i know how they met, which might work to my advantage, it was in group therapy in cambridge and like i said my aunt works in city hall, she said she will try to figure out what the therapy was for etc.

uhm lets see, theres no name on my birth certificate and they werent married... as far as i know .. he doesnt even know OF me - my mother left him 3 months pregnant.

yup, so first name - donald. he's italian and maybe jewish. has green eyes. thats all my aunt [the last living/vocal relative who knew ANYTHING of him] could remember. i think she blocked it coz she didnt like him. oh and he lived in somerville.

sigh

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

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Post #: 6

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 1:46:25 PM

Rule

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Two of my in-laws had an adult contact them at the end of 2006. One by telephone and one by email. They had documents or verbal information that pointed them the way. One was a complete surprise, even to the parent. The other was a complete surprise to nearly everyone - and awkward. Sometimes there is a valid reason for separation and it is better not to drag old cows out of the swamp.

(in reply to Devilslilsister)

Post #: 7

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 1:46:33 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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I'm adopted and did consider tracing my real parents for a while. I got all the paper work from the general registry office but found that i would need to attend a councilling session before they would give me access to my birth parents details. Now whilst i can understand why this is necessary i didnt want to sit and justify my decision to trace them.
Also on thinking about my options i decided i already have the best set of parents ever and it really doesnt matter one jot that they are not my biological parents. They brought me up and gave me everything i needed and i dont need anything or anyone else.

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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

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(in reply to mixielicous)

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RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 1:51:03 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule
Sometimes there is a valid reason for separation and it is better not to drag old cows out of the swamp.

i have had to ponder this statement a lot - being told it myself ... but there are under lying factors i suppose the biggest one being my *dad* didnt adopt me until he found out he could get money for having me - when i was 16. while i am over that now, theres no denying the *youre not my bio dad* vibe that presents itself at times.. its just hard for me to be so different from the rest of my siblings, and not knowing, truely - WHY.

since my mom got sick, the idea of looking into a pair of green eyes has been haunting - i have tried to put it aside but it bears great feelings of incomplete-ness

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

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Post #: 9

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 1:56:25 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
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Well go for it. Just remember, what you find may not be good. Any chance you know of where he worked... ever? Cos if you have any clue, you could alwasy go to the job and try and speak to them. With the counseling - have you thought about going and seeing if anyone still works from back then and see if they have any memory/paperwork?

Keep asking the family questions... some one might give up a good piece of info AND if your lucky with all the questions you'll annoy them all enough to finally give you information so you stop asking.

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 10

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 1:59:01 PM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline

Not relatives, but part of me wants to try and find a girlfriend who dropped off the face of the earth a couple years ago. Usually talked to her online every day, and then she stopped talking. Called her house, but nobody answered. And I've been wondering what happened ever since.

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Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 11

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 2:00:41 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

quote:

has anyone here ever had a long lost relative, and successfully found them?

no, and i'm not looking for them either...LOL

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Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 12

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 2:02:40 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

mmm work - thats a good idea.

unfortunately on the cousoling front no one knows who/what/where/when besides what i posted..

wow who is blasting that friggn latin music outside my house they SUCK lol

_____________________________

"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to Devilslilsister)

Post #: 13

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 2:54:24 PM

bettie1959

Posts: 34
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

Wow, how to find someone without knowing the last name is going to be difficult. Is his name on your birth certificate? I was able to find my dad's brother by searching the last name. Unfortunately, dad had died just weeks prior to getting in contact.
Otherwise, pick a family member/or friend that was close to your mom at the time of your birth and explain to them how important this is to you to learn more about your father. If you are willing to learn good and bad news make sure they know that as well. It's always possible that he wasn't a great guy and they are trying to protect you.
There is a website for background checks too. For a small fee, you can find out info...but again, you need to know his last name. Good luck in your search.

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 14

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 2:59:01 PM

bettie1959

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Joined: 11/16/2005
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P.S. I am sorry to hear that your mother is ill. I lost mine when I was 7, then lost my stepdad shortly after that. (i thought he was my real dad). If you need someone to talk to, bitch at, cry to...you can always e-mail me.

(in reply to bettie1959)

Post #: 15

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 3:31:06 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

bettie- yea i know i have a tough task in front of me .. my mom has been sick since i was in 7th grade so i am used to not having her around, i just wish *He* would let her go, ya know? its been, what almost 10 years

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

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RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 3:34:20 PM

WyrdRich

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Joined: 1/3/2005
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Not yet, but in another couple of years, my youthful unprotected sperm donations start coming of age. I've met one of them, and she'll be told the truth of things by her mother after she graduates. Going to make for some interesting conversations.

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 17

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 3:54:50 PM

ShiftedJewel

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Joined: 12/2/2004
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Mixie... I searched for years for my biological dad.. I looked up some cousins when I moved back to Indiana and they had a full name for me. I found him... I asked him all the questions that I had floating around in my head and I no longer speak to him.. Long story short... I found out that so many people were right about him. I don't regret it... I found out where I got my allergy to penicillin and my non-allergy to poison ivy... And I don't regret not keeping him in my life.

Jewel

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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 18

RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 5:52:37 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

I've done alot of reuniting Birth parents and adopted children over the years. Some places to try searching are....

High school yearbooks for the time they would have been in HS. These can be found in any library. You have a first name and an idea of age so, while tedious, you may be able to narrow down who he is to a last name.

Try Classmates.com as well.

Once you have the last name you can search SS registers or Property tax and deeds for locations and to get a possible address. There is also intellius to search for someone once a last name, area and age are available.

Many things you can do on your own that will be FAR cheaper than hiring a PI.

If you need any other ideas feel free to email me on the other side.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to mixielicous)

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RE: long lost relatives - have you found them? - 2/2/2007 6:19:32 PM

mstrjx

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Joined: 11/27/2005
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My parents were each married to other people prior to their marriage. My father had a daughter from his prior marriage. I'm thinking she was like 8 or 9 years older than I. I met her, possibly on several occasions when I was a child, but the last time I saw her was when I was around 8 or 9. (Counting on fingers and toes a couple of times, that would have been around 1970.)

A couple of years ago I received a letter from the daughter of my half-sister. She JUST found out she had an uncle she never knew about (me). She lives 500 miles away, but wants to have a relationship with me.

So, I guess you could say I got found.

Unwanted, really. I didn't take her up on it.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to mixielicous)

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