Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Simple sadism !!


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Simple sadism !! Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 7:52:03 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
'By rendering his partner helpless, the sadist is creating a situation in which he feels free to do anything he likes.... In other words, the sadist has no conception that his partner might invite or welcome his sexual activities. He cannot believe that anyone can really accept him sexually, and thus has to obtain by force what other more confident men expect to be given freely. It is only when he has established complete ascendancy over his partner that the sadistic can hope for sexual fulfillment; for it is only then that the partner is no longer frightening.... His prime desire is not to hurt but to establish ascendancy, and the beatings and other cruelties are ritual devices to create a situation in which erotic fulfilment is possible, rather than the attacks which are designed to hurt.'
 
Quote from 'sexual deviation' by Anthony Storr.
 
'He cannot believe that anyone can really accept him sexually, and thus has to obtain by force what other more confident men expect to be given freely.'
*Is it really that simple?
*Is it even remotely true?
 
'His prime desire is not to hurt but establish ascendancy..'
*If you are a sadist is the prime desire ascendancy or causing pain?
 
'beatings and other cruelties are ritual devices...'
*True?
 
A true account of sadism?

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 7:54:25 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
I think at the very beginning many of us would say----

I can't fuckin' believe she is letting me do this---

then it sorts itself out pretty quickly.



_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 7:58:56 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
This is a true account for many sadists.

By swapping out a few words however, it is a true account for a lot of any group.

A lot of people use coping mechanisms in order to feel what they want without feeling comfortable just experiencing it directly.

It's not what I would call 'sadism' however, simply sadists who are also insecure.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 8:03:41 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
Personally, it sounds a lot like rape and how psychologists might classify rapists.

When one person is made 'less frightening' because of their exposed position doesn't seem quite right.

I have never 'quite' classified myself as a sadist.  I can certainly play as hard and rough as one, and I can say I enjoy it when I do, but I still believe that the overriding thought that goes through my mind is more to create intensity and pleasure (albeit nasty) for my partner than what it directly does for myself.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 8:12:35 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
As we've seen come up before, there's more than one type of sadist.  This article doesn't address the consent mechanism, for example which would have a huge emotional impact on the dynamics of a S&M interaction.  It also addresses sadism in a sexual context - many sadists have no sexual componant to their activities (consensual or otherwise.)  The only statement that strikes a chord in me, is the one that says 'his prime desire is not to hurt but to establish ascendancy.'  At least for me, that's true; my own type of sadism is grounded more in a desire to create an intense exchange.  The same line could be used for someone who plays football - when I tackle someone at full speed, I'm not 'trying' to hurt him, but rather establish ascendancy, both in terms of the play and in terms of the score.  My opponent's pain is simply a byproduct of that desire.  Grins.

The problem with psychologists analyzing BDSM is that most do it in a clinical fashion, looking for aberrations and deviations in human behavior.  I'm sure there are scientists who study the most efficient method for a 220 lbs corner-back to tackle a 350 lbs running back; that doesn't mean he's ever actually worn shoulder pads himself.

Stephan




_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 8:24:10 AM   
tade


Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline
I was thinking the same rapist thought myself mstrjx.

For myself (and only myself, a disclaimer that shouldn't have to be mentioned but I have been taken wrong before) My sadism comes from the simple fact that I have always gotten a kick out of hurting people. Not the "chop a limb off" hurting that Hollywood loved to dwell on but anything from flipping your friends in the ear, snapping someone with a towel exc to just laughing my ass of when someone falls walking down the street. Once I discovered that there was a sexual side to it (again at least for me there is) and others who enjoyed recieving pain as much as I enjoyed dishing it out I was in heaven.

I have always had a very loving relationship with anyone who I have been lucky enough to practice wiitwd to. You have to, without masochists us sadists would have no one to play with but each other , and that would just get messy real fast. So then (again for me) it becomes a game of just what can I come up with that puts them where they want to be that they haven't experienced before, which elevates my experience even more. Kind of like raising your game due to the competition... Again this is my opinion and not a reflection of anyone who may get thier feelings hurt or panties in a unch over said opinion.

I am Tade and I approved this messege.

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 8:33:59 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
When one person is made 'less frightening' because of their exposed position doesn't seem quite right.

I must not have taken the same meaning from the quote 'for it is only then that the partner is no longer frightening...' as you must have done. I had it down as something along the lines of i find it less frightening at the dentist if someone holds my hand.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 8:41:25 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
This article doesn't address the consent mechanism, for example which would have a huge emotional impact on the dynamics of a S&M interaction.
 
I think it does.
 
 'In other words, the sadist has no conception that his partner might invite or welcome his sexual activities. '
 
If the sadist has no idea whether she consents or not, consent cannot have been given or even asked for.
 
The problem with psychologists analyzing BDSM is that most do it in a clinical fashion, looking for aberrations and deviations in human behavior. 
 
Anthony Storr is a psychiatrist not a psychologist. He hasnt actually studied human behaviour per se but goes on what psychologists studies present.
 
I'm sure there are scientists who study the most efficient method for a 220 lbs corner-back to tackle a 350 lbs running back; that doesn't mean he's ever actually worn shoulder pads himself.

With respect the purpose of this thread was not to pull apart the credentials or experience of sadism of the author, just to gain a little insight into whether sadism could be so simply defined.
 

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 8:41:28 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

'By rendering his partner helpless, the sadist is creating a situation in which he feels free to do anything he likes.... In other words, the sadist has no conception that his partner might invite or welcome his sexual activities. He cannot believe that anyone can really accept him sexually, and thus has to obtain by force what other more confident men expect to be given freely. It is only when he has established complete ascendancy over his partner that the sadistic can hope for sexual fulfillment; for it is only then that the partner is no longer frightening.... His prime desire is not to hurt but to establish ascendancy, and the beatings and other cruelties are ritual devices to create a situation in which erotic fulfilment is possible, rather than the attacks which are designed to hurt.'
 
Quote from 'sexual deviation' by Anthony Storr.
 
'He cannot believe that anyone can really accept him sexually, and thus has to obtain by force what other more confident men expect to be given freely.'
*Is it really that simple?
*Is it even remotely true?
 
'His prime desire is not to hurt but establish ascendancy..'
*If you are a sadist is the prime desire ascendancy or causing pain?
 
'beatings and other cruelties are ritual devices...'
*True?
 
A true account of sadism?


Yes! It is! 'cause then it doesn't apply to me, being female and all.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 8:43:47 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
Dammit i did consider doing the he/she thing but thought nahhhhhh. Maybe i should have gone with yeah lol.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 8:48:48 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
With respect i have read most of the 'definition of a sadist' threads and wasnt really looking for peoples definitions. Just looking for some insight to the questions i asked.
So i presume from your post that the giving of pain is your main desire rather than the ascendancy?
Do you believe you may have the slight belief that what other men are given freely you need to forcefully take?
I am rather surprised that two people have cried rape, no sexual penetration is mentioned in the quote. Where did you see rape in this?

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to tade)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 8:54:19 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
With respect i have read most of the 'definition of a sadist' threads and wasnt really looking for peoples definitions. Just looking for some insight to the questions i asked.
So i presume from your post that the giving of pain is your main desire rather than the ascendancy?
Do you believe you may have the slight belief that what other men are given freely you need to forcefully take?
I am rather surprised that two people have cried rape, no sexual penetration is mentioned in the quote. Where did you see rape in this?

Rape isn't about sex.  It's about one's inability to engage in healthy consensual act, feeling out of control, and then using force to overtake someone and get satisfaction from it.

Pretty much exactly what it sounds like in your first post.

My point was more that plenty of people feel insecure about getting what they want, so they resort to other measures to get it, or other measures to cover up their insecurities and still get what they want.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 9:00:22 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
Whilst rape may not be about sex per se it is the act of forcing someone to submit to sexual penetration which is not mentioned in the quote. Rape certainly wouldnt have sprung to my mind in reading and in fact it didnt. None consensual abuse - yes. Rape no. But that is just my opinion.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 9:37:21 AM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
'He cannot believe that anyone can really accept him sexually, and thus has to obtain by force what other more confident men expect to be given freely.'
*Is it really that simple?
*Is it even remotely true?

Not for me, any partner has to accept me as me for all the other things that make me who I am long before it gets to the infliction of pain
quote:

 
'His prime desire is not to hurt but establish ascendancy..'
*If you are a sadist is the prime desire ascendancy or causing pain?
 

Yes, I mean no, I mean yes and no. As any partner would have to accept me as the sadist/top/dom/more equal in the relationship prior to getting on to the pain issues for me it is about creating pain for its own sake and to reinforce ascendancy/primacy
quote:


'beatings and other cruelties are ritual devices...'
*True?
 

Nope, I can gain sexual fulfillment without feeling the need (or even desire sometimes) to create pain.
quote:


A true account of sadism?


Not for me, guess I must be a part-timer or wannabe by that definition


quote:

'In other words, the sadist has no conception that his partner might invite or welcome his sexual activities. '

No inivitation, welcome or desire from the sub means no pain, even if it comes from consentual non-consent


quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Whilst rape may not be about sex per se it is the act of forcing someone to submit to sexual penetration which is not mentioned in the quote. Rape certainly wouldnt have sprung to my mind in reading and in fact it didnt. None consensual abuse - yes. Rape no. But that is just my opinion.

Rape (to use it in its widest vanilla sense) does not involve consent, and is abusive, therefore to me rape comes under the umbrella of non-consentual abuse. It is just a specific kind much like hitting a random stranger over the head with a pry-bar, or picking a random gal in a bar and caning her for an hour wihtout asking first.

_____________________________

Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 9:46:28 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
Rape (to use it in its widest vanilla sense) does not involve consent, and is abusive, 
therefore to me rape comes under the umbrella of non-consentual abuse.
Yes.
It is just a specific kind 
This is my point, i find 'rape' too specific a word to use to describe the quote.  By lawful standards the quote would not be classed as rape unless sexual penetration had taken place. Since no mention of sexual penetration is made i find it falls more under the general non-consensual abuse.



_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to sleazy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 10:15:23 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

'By rendering his partner helpless, the sadist is creating a situation in which he feels free to do anything he likes.... In other words, the sadist has no conception that his partner might invite or welcome his sexual activities.

 
I read this as he can't believe that what he wants, what he does is acceptable even to him.. it's wrong, unnatural so how can anyone else invite him to take the actions he takes. This, to me, speaks about sadism being 'sick', which is how sadistics are usually viewed by society at large. Of course, what it doesn't address are those of us who are perfectly comfortable within our skins and set about to seek out those who would welcome our sadism and embrace their own masochism. Today, we don't 'need' to force anything on anyone. By the way, do you know when this was written?
 
quote:

He cannot believe that anyone can really accept him sexually, and thus has to obtain by force what other more confident men expect to be given freely.

 
Insecurity can certainly be one of the reasons that someone might indulge in S/m but it's not the only reason. A shame that wasn't addressed by Dr. Storr, at least in the small piece you presented to us. Perhaps elsewhere he does so.. at least I would hope, in the name of scientific accuracy, he makes the attempt.
 
quote:

It is only when he has established complete ascendancy over his partner that the sadistic can hope for sexual fulfillment; for it is only then that the partner is no longer frightening....

 
This parts speaks loud and clearly on insecurity. I don't believe that today's modern sadist is quite that insecure about his preferences and abilities to find what he seeks in a partner. Oh, some, sure, but I wouldn't say most.
 
quote:

His prime desire is not to hurt but to establish ascendancy, and the beatings and other cruelties are ritual devices to create a situation in which erotic fulfilment is possible, rather than the attacks which are designed to hurt.'

 
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. For me, I do things that are designed to hurt and the 'cruelties' are designed to be pleasing to my artists eye (so a form of pleasure, but not sexual pleasure) and I don't get an erotic thrill from that although I have gotten total energy highs from it which leave me feeling giddy. It really takes all kinds and the focus of Dr. Storr seems to be awfully narrow in my view.

 

quote:

A true account of sadism?



Oh, no doubt. But not the only true account of sadism. :)

Celeste

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 2/2/2007 10:17:35 AM >


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 1:16:07 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
Yes it is taken from the book 'sexual deviation' by Anthony Storr  written in 1964. It does say that he is trying to explain the motives behind uncomplicated sexual sadism.
According to wikipedia he is a psychiatrist who specialises in the psychoanalytical portraits of historical figures. I would presume that in 1964 bdsm was stilled classed as a 'mental disorder' as it still is by some in the medical profession. 

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 2:37:07 PM   
aSlavesLife


Posts: 347
Joined: 12/1/2006
Status: offline
It sounds as though Dr. Storr were describing a rapist, not a sadist. I would be inclined to think that he viewed it too subjectively. Many people have dim, narrow views of sadism, and a doctorate does not offer immunity to personal bias and preconceived notions.

I identify with being a sadist in that I gain no sexual arousal without it. Nevertheless, I do seek partners that willingly accomodate my sadism rather than subjecting the unwilling to it. My objective is causing pain, and I find no ritual to it as were it ritualized, I would behave in the same manner repeatedly. I delight in creating new forms of causing pain, which is quite unritualistic.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 7:06:39 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

This article doesn't address the consent mechanism, for example which would have a huge emotional impact on the dynamics of a S&M interaction.
 
I think it does.
 
 'In other words, the sadist has no conception that his partner might invite or welcome his sexual activities. '
 
If the sadist has no idea whether she consents or not, consent cannot have been given or even asked for.


Your reading of Stephann's comment strikes me as extremely narrow. I took him to be offering the insight that nowhere in the snippet is any effort shown to explore the difference between the sadist who operates only with consent from the sadist who ignores it.

In the narrowest possible sense, you're right, in that the word consent surfaced briefly. Rather than discount Staphann's point you might take a moment to consider it more deeply.
 
quote:

The problem with psychologists analyzing BDSM is that most do it in a clinical fashion, looking for aberrations and deviations in human behavior. 
 
Anthony Storr is a psychiatrist not a psychologist. He hasnt actually studied human behaviour per se but goes on what psychologists studies present.


Is your point anything but to be pissy here?  You asked for insights, they are offerred, and you just seem to jump on the first trivial, technical or semantic excuse to disqualify what is offerred.

To stick with your sort of approach one could point out that your respondent didn't say in what you snipped from him that Storr was a Psychologist, but only made a general comment about Psychologists.

In the same mood one could point out that a person who is a Psychiatrist can be a Pyschologist as well, and a Geologist and an Ecdysiast. You haven't established that Storr's sole credential was that of a Psychiatrist.

"He (Storr) hasnt actually studied human behaviour per se but goes on what psychologists studies present. 

I rather think that somewhere along the road to a credential in Psychiatry one will more than likely study human behavior. In fact I'll wager that he studied it in some depth in both his undergradyuate and his graduate courses and seminars.

Now perhaps you mean that as a Psychiatrist Storr has not conducted experiments.  Of course we don't know whether this is true or false in his case, but let's pretend that it is true.

If he is a clinician in practice, hearing from patients, advising them, and then hearing from his patients again subsequently, do you really feel that he is nevertheless prohibitted by his circumstances from learning anything about human behavior, "per se"?  That he is not very much engaged in studying the behavior of his human patients? I think it would be difficult to hold that any responsible clinician is a person who does not study human behavior.

But let's say that you want to stick to your extremely narrow view.  Even at that, Stephann's comment was directly on point for just the reason you cite, that the Psychiatrist relies upon the Psychologist-- about whom Stephann is complaining.
quote:


I'm sure there are scientists who study the most efficient method for a 220 lbs corner-back to tackle a 350 lbs running back; that doesn't mean he's ever actually worn shoulder pads himself.

With respect the purpose of this thread was not to pull apart the credentials or experience of sadism of the author, just to gain a little insight into whether sadism could be so simply defined.


Your respondent was, by analogy, offering an insight regarding the snippet you posted. He, just as well as you, obviously sees the treatment in the snippet as deficient. I wonder why you didn't choose to accept his comments graciously?

In any event, two things seem to want saying.  The first is that sadism, as well as anything else, can be defined as simply as you please. So the answer to that question is yes.

But what an odd question for you to offer, since the snippet include  no definition of sadism. The snippet might have been more useful if a definition had been offerred, but none was.  Definitions apply to terms. The snippet described behaviors and along the way used the word sadism in a way that was slightly ambiguous--though of course taken in context the ambiguity may resolve or not even arise. We of course lack the full context but that's fine in that no one can resonably expect you to post pages or chapters worth of Storr.

Given that the snippet spoke of someone who disregards consent, I will suggest, following stephann's lead, that it should be taken to be straightforwardly an account of what we might call pathological sadism, even today. That being the case it will be seen to reflect on consensual, BDSM sadism obliquely at best.
 

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Simple sadism !! - 2/2/2007 9:33:23 PM   
tade


Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
So i presume from your post that the giving of pain is your main desire rather than the ascendancy?

 
I get most of my sadistic pleasure from seeing how much sensation rather than strictly pain my submissive can take and how if at all I can get them to take more. It may be a session with a cane or the sensation overload that comes from your clit being played with right after orgasm.

quote:

Original: missturbation
Do you believe you may have the slight belief that what other men are given freely you need to forcefully take?


Not at all. I don't forcefully take. I don't have to. The submissive gives themself up for me to do whatever I want. Nothing could be more freely given than that. But that line was the one in the OP that struck me with the "rape" overtones.

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Simple sadism !! Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094