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Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 7:46:05 AM

Dnomyar

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Question. It seems that a lot of people on here are seeking a relationship that leads to marriage. I thought this was a place to meet like minded people not a finding a mate site. I would like to hear other opinions about this.

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 7:50:56 AM

thetammyjo

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Personally even if I were not all ready married I would not seek a husband or wife on a site about BDSM because I would be looking for a sub who might become a future slave.

I do not believe that the role of spouse and slave are interchangeable at all.

Since historical models are so valuable to me and what I partly base my household on, I do not see any examples where a slave who is married remained a slave either socially, religiously, or legally. He or she might remain submissive in personality or even by expectation depending on gender dynamics in that society, but they were certainly never considered slaves after the marriage.

However most peope do not model their lives like I do and do not have the same philosophies. As long as one is upfront about what one is looking for, I see no reason to complain about that. Just don't try out relationships with folks who do not agree with your own philosphies on these matters.

I think the world would run a lot more smoothly and happily if we all just stopped trying to bend others to our way of thinking and spent the time to find likeminded people to form relationships with.

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 7:51:24 AM

juliaoceania

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The name of the site is "Collar Me". I would think that implies a long term commitment... but suppose that would depend on your view of a collar.

I see nothing wrong for using this site to find all the things a person is seeking within the law, and I have no problem with those who want to seek marriage, anal sex, infantilism, suspension play, or like me, seek friendship only.

I am not here seeking anything at all here but conversation.

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 7:51:55 AM

BlkTallFullfig

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No offense, but I'm here to learn, share (give back what I've learned if you will) and possibly find a long term mate. No offense, but I can very easily live without the opinion of 5000 people on the web who may or may not think like me.

P.S. I agree with Julia that the biggest initial attraction to Collarme from my end was the insinuated long term collaring potential within the name. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 2/2/2007 7:54:30 AM >

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 7:53:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Colllarme is a personals site.

Collarchat is a discussion forum.

Since the two are interlinked, you're going to get mostly collarme people looking for relationships in the collarchat forums.

As has been noted on many whiny threads before- lots of people NOT looking will alsp hang out here, too.

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 8:01:10 AM

adaddysgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Question. It seems that a lot of people on here are seeking a relationship that leads to marriage. I thought this was a place to meet like minded people not a finding a mate site. I would like to hear other opinions about this.

Some people here are looking for LT partners (which could include marriage, or not)....some for casual play partners....some for friends only....and some for something in between. i'm really not sure what gives you the impression CM was 'not a finding a mate site'. It is a BDSM personals site....don't people on these types of sites often meet and enter into some type of relationship? *scratches head*

DG

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 8:07:48 AM

mstrjx

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People have the ability to come here for many purposes.

If you want a play partner, I suppose there are some here, although it seems from the boards and profiles most people are looking for something more enduring.

I believe if it weren't for some sort of 'finding a mate' site, many wouldn't be here. I know I wouldn't. Yahoo Groups seems more a place for sharing mindless discussion.

Oh, did I just say that?

Jeff

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 8:11:50 AM

toservez

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People are on these sites for all different reasons including casual, long term and just being a part of the message boards.

In terms of marriage being part of a long term part of living this life. On the whole you are talking about to each their own as well but the simple fact society has vast amounts of benefits and legal securities for being married and also social mores. While personally I do not need marriage in my relationship unless unmentionables happen, I do not see anything wrong with people of any gender or role wanting their relationship recognized on a more public front and/or with the benefits that go along with it.

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 8:40:22 AM

MasterFireMaam

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Sooooo....likeminded people aren't supposed to want to get married if they wanna?

Master Fire

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 8:47:15 AM

Dnomyar

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This is a personals site but not a e-harmony site.

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 8:49:54 AM

LaTigresse

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This site is whatever a person wants it to be for them. As long as they are honest about what they want I have no problem with it.

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 8:51:35 AM

DiurnalVampire

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Most people seeking a serious relationship are eventually going to be seeking marriage.
Why get involved with someone long term, if you know you do wat that commitment, and not put it out there right off that t is a consideration?
I know personally, I was seeking a slave boyfriend, who would have real life potential to grow in the relationship as well as in his slavery. The end result of that growth should be marriage, or at the very least domestic partnership.

There are plenty of others who are not looking for anything that commited. But anywhere you have people looking for real interpersonal relationships, there are going to be ones looking to move as far as marraige, while ther are others that stop planning beyond a weekend.

DV

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 8:52:58 AM

Dnomyar

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Not saying that likeminded people should not want to marry. But there are women on here who throw themselves at any man that they think is avaliable. There are a large amount of velcro collars on here. Guess I wrongly assumed that the site was to meet people with the same interest. Mabey they should put a check off box in the interest collum for Interested in marriage and one for not Interested in marriage. Would save a lot of BS.

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 8:58:55 AM

DiurnalVampire

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I think I see where you are coming from now. The ones who are wiling to jump head first into the commitment without actually takingthe time to find out if they are even like minded before they are wearing a ring or collar. That seems to be bigger here than anywhere ese, but I am somewhat convinced a lot of those are fantasies and they wouldnt even go as far as to meet face to face much less marry right off. Like anything ese, some people cant function without a commitment right away. If they dont get that interest form the getgo, they start looking for wat they have done wrong, rather than the posiblity that they just need time.
I do agree, though, that maybe a search criteria of looking for relationship vs looking for fun might change things. Other sites have things similiar, so that if you are looking for something serious, you can skip all the ads for someone ooking for a wild time and nothing deeper.

DV

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VampiresLair

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 9:09:09 AM

Dnomyar

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I agree that some seek a commitment to fast. I know several woman on her who did that and ended up pregnant and alone. I always try to encourage someone to take their time and try to get to know the person. There is no reason to hurry .

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 9:16:04 AM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Not saying that likeminded people should not want to marry. But there are women on here who throw themselves at any man that they think is avaliable. There are a large amount of velcro collars on here. Guess I wrongly assumed that the site was to meet people with the same interest. Mabey they should put a check off box in the interest collum for Interested in marriage and one for not Interested in marriage. Would save a lot of BS.

Well, seeing that you are married your post from the marriage thread:

quote:

Dnomyar
Do I cheat? Yes. Do I feel remorse over it. Hell no. The woman I have affairs with all come to me. I dont seek them out. They know im married up front. Some are married some arent.

Would seem you should stick with what has been working for you in the past...But it is always fun to try new ventures...

I did notice you didn't mention this "little" fact in your profile and since there is no box to "check off" seems like something you might want to have acknowledged. (just to make sure the people in search of a l.t.r. would stay clear.)

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 9:33:45 AM

Dnomyar

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My profile has been redone many times the fact that im married was in it. Gave up trying to redo the profile. Seemed someone always thought it should be different. My wife is friends with some of the people I have met on here. Im upfront with what I do with her. She knows Im not into this for sex.

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 9:37:19 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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How does seeking to be married equate to not having any other possible common interests?

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RE: Friendship/Marriage - 2/2/2007 9:47:56 AM

starshineowned

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Greetings..~smiles~

The marriage part of it doesn't really bug me. For us though as a slave and what that means..slaves just don't marry their Owners, but thats just Us.

I do see alot more of the e-harmony type of profiles on here though that ones..(mostly females) are purely seeking mates for matrimony alone, and have no interest really in alternative. I guess just more of a influx of vanilla type dating leading to marriage sort of thing.

Weed em and move on or in Master case..get a kick out of them.

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

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