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Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 4:30:23 AM

FatDomDaddy

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I am curious on how the poster perceive themselves and their connection to "the scene" whether it be cyber, RT or a combination of both. Is WIITWD an escape, a go to place where one can live out or enjoy or dream their fantasies experience? Or, is this a real life 24 hour, 7 day existence?

For the 24/7 folks, where do your live out or dream fantasies take? Without breaking the rules, do the go to deeper and darker into BDSM or do you go the other direction and instead of escaping into, do you escape out of BDSM?

< Message edited by FatDomDaddy -- 2/1/2007 4:34:01 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 4:55:30 AM

julietsierra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

I am curious on how the poster perceive themselves and their connection to "the scene" whether it be cyber, RT or a combination of both. Is WIITWD an escape, a go to place where one can live out or enjoy or dream their fantasies experience? Or, is this a real life 24 hour, 7 day existence?

For the 24/7 folks, where do your live out or dream fantasies take? Without breaking the rules, do the go to deeper and darker into BDSM or do you go the other direction and instead of escaping into, do you escape out of BDSM?

By "the scene," are you using that to be synonymous with "the community?" If so, I used to be very involved. I think I went to everything I could afford to go to. It was my social time - not to mention that at that time, I was by myself, so was "on the hunt" so to speak. But nonetheless, I had a great time associating with the people that I did, and still count many as my friends - even if we don't see each other as often as we used to.

When I met my Master, my involvement in all of that waned significantly. He did not consistently attend events and well, if the choice was to spend time with him or go to the events, I knew where I was going to be - in the company of one. So, I stopped attending.

Beyond that, even though I don't live with him, this is real life for me. I've often said that the role playing I'm doing - if I'm doing any at all - is when I go to work and maintain a vanilla facade. The times we're together is when I'm "me" and I don't have to pretend a thing. Other than that, he has a hand in virtually everything I do. Over the years, he's even become someone I consult with when the task of raising munchkins throws me for a loop - and I have NEVER ever relied on anyone for that before.

As for escaping into or out of bdsm - I'd have to say I'm driving steadily into it. He moves me - us - slowly through our explorations, and this isn't a game we're playing. I look back and see significant change from when I first began seeing him, and it is definitely INTO all the deeper convolutions of D/s and SM. If you mean, do I take breaks from bdsm, then I'd have to say other than those I'm required to take by virtue of my career, absolutely not. Eight years ago, I walked into this life and at no other time in my life have I felt more like I was "home." Since meeting my Master, I can say I've become quite the "homebody" although I don't think of myself as domesticated at all.

I"m not sure I've answered your question, but that's it in a nutshell for me.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 2/1/2007 5:02:53 AM >

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 2

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 5:23:49 AM

twicehappy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

For the 24/7 folks, where do your live out or dream fantasies take? Without breaking the rules, do the go to deeper and darker into BDSM or do you go the other direction and instead of escaping into, do you escape out of BDSM?

I am the slave in a 24/7 M/M/s poly family.

Where do i live out what fantasy? Do you mean where do we play?

The M/s life is our daily reality, i am always here, they are always here. It is who we are and how we live. Anybody who comes to this house is well aware of our lifestyle, it is never hidden.

Without breaking what rules? Whose rules? I think you need to clarify here.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 3

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 5:27:36 AM

julietsierra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

Without breaking what rules? Whose rules? I think you need to clarify here.

nod... I didn't understand that either. I THINK he meant "breaking the rules of your relationship" but I don't really understand that either. Course, this isn't something we do just because it's a Saturday night and we are looking for something fun to do, so that may be why it's confusing

juliet

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 4

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 5:40:18 AM

agirl

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Living under someone else's authority; it's part of everything. It's not an escape, it's how my life is lived; blended and woven into every aspect.

Dreams and fantasies are into, not out of, the way I chose to live and how.

It's a pretty consuming roller-coaster ride and certainly NEVER, ever dull. I need no escape from it.

agirl

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 5

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 5:46:51 AM

justheather

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Joined: 10/4/2005
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I fantasize about getting a massage while lying on a beach of pink sand.
That, and having a kajira whose only purpose is to apply body lotion to my back. Oh, and she would do dishes, too.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 6

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 5:47:02 AM

agirl

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I thought he meant literally *dreams and fantasies*; the thoughts, and the places your mind takes you, without concious direction, maybe day-dreams and dreams had during slumber.

That's how I took it when I replied, anyhow.

agirl

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 7

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 5:48:09 AM

valeca

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Loraith and I are 24/7.

We don't escape 'in' or 'out' of it.

It's simply 'life' All of it. Who we are encompasses much more than one single facet of us.

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 8

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 6:34:55 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

I am curious on how the poster perceive themselves and their connection to "the scene" whether it be cyber, RT or a combination of both. Is WIITWD an escape, a go to place where one can live out or enjoy or dream their fantasies experience? Or, is this a real life 24 hour, 7 day existence?

For the 24/7 folks, where do your live out or dream fantasies take? Without breaking the rules, do the go to deeper and darker into BDSM or do you go the other direction and instead of escaping into, do you escape out of BDSM?

I'm not really sure what you are asking above about those of us who live Ds 24/7.

If you are asking if we set aside time for SM or bondage or other things, of course, how else does one do these things that require time and space and sometimes equipment and supplies?

If you are asking about "fantasies" we might have I do two things. We might role play -- I'm a wild panther and he's an almost helpless fox, I'm a spoiled princess and he's my 16th birthday gift, etc. Mostly, I turn those things into my fiction.

Mostly I'm really happy with reality. Knowing that I have someone I can exercise authority over when I choose and how, knowing that there is someone who has built his life around me, and knowing someone is there who foresees how best to ease my life and serve me is far superior to the fantasies I can come up with.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 9

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 6:45:03 AM

mstrjx

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Even without a partner, which might make some things difficult to describe (such as, how can I life a BDSM lifestyle alone), I can honestly say that I'm not wistful for any other sort of existence.

I have the availability to live what one might call a 'fantasy' life, because I don't have family or friends to intrude, not even on a potential level.

Other than work and responsibilities (paying the bills, the occasional trip to the store for food or whatnot), I don't have a need for the rest of the 'real world'. Even at work, I do what I can to keep my headspace where I wish it.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 10

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 7:21:11 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy
I am curious on how the poster perceive themselves and their connection to "the scene" whether it be cyber, RT or a combination of both. Is WIITWD an escape, a go to place where one can live out or enjoy or dream their fantasies experience? Or, is this a real life 24 hour, 7 day existence?

Well the KINK for me is a hobby.

The RELATIONSHIP is an integral part of my life.

The SCENE is a social circle I involve myself in.

quote:

For the 24/7 folks, where do your live out or dream fantasies take? Without breaking the rules, do the go to deeper and darker into BDSM or do you go the other direction and instead of escaping into, do you escape out of BDSM?

I don't escape at all- I come closer to myself.

I go where the energy takes me.

As for where- usually in my bedroom, but they've been known to come out in shoe stores on occasion.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 11

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 7:41:14 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

This is who I am and is a part of my identity just as much as being a scientist, a teacher or a writer. BDSM is simply what I do, just like playing the piano, playing with science toys or writing on the board.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 12

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 8:47:54 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

I am curious on how the poster perceive themselves and their connection to "the scene" whether it be cyber, RT or a combination of both. Is WIITWD an escape, a go to place where one can live out or enjoy or dream their fantasies experience? Or, is this a real life 24 hour, 7 day existence?

We were never into cyber even though we hooked up over the internet. We do our "thang" in the real world. Being submissive is not an escape for me, but my Daddy has expressed the desire to take me to the dungeon near where he lives, we just have not taken the time from "us" when we do spend time together to do that yet. We both love to socialize, but that is separate from "us".

I am a submissive all the time. He is who he is all the time. Whenever we talk on the phone, type in a message box, when I go down there, or he comes up here... we are the same people to each other. He speaks to me in a way that subtly reminds me of our place within the dynamic. He does not have a bunch of "rules", although I do as I am told whenever he tells me.

Now we do not live together yet, so I hesitate to call it 24/7, but I am his submissive all the time... there is no "off switch" on my back

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 2/1/2007 8:49:11 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 13

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 8:50:58 AM

gandalf0297

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It's just us.Seem's to be the natural order of things.Sure life intrudes every now and again.But that's ok. You just integrate it into your life. I really cannot say I'm living a fantasy; It's just who we are.

_____________________________

"The best things cannot be said. The second best are misunderstood." (Joseph Campbell.)

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 14

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 3:18:50 PM

FatDomDaddy

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Joined: 1/31/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

Without breaking what rules? Whose rules? I think you need to clarify here.

nod... I didn't understand that either. I THINK he meant "breaking the rules of your relationship" but I don't really understand that either. Course, this isn't something we do just because it's a Saturday night and we are looking for something fun to do, so that may be why it's confusing

juliet

I meant not breaking the fourm rules. (I cannot seem to edit the OP even though I wrote it) It should read:

"For the 24/7 folks, where do your live-out or dream fantasies take you? Without breaking the fourm rules, do you go to deeper and darker into the more taboo aspects of BDSM, or do you go the other direction and instead of escaping into, do you escape out of BDSM?

Yes, juliet, what is the BDSM equilvent of "...it's Saturday and we are looking for something fun to do?"

twicehappy indicated that she live in an open family and that there lifestyle is open to anyone that would come into the house but there are others who want to keep this very personal. It is a special escape for themselves and they want to keep it that way.

One other note, I think that there are people who cyber only with in "the community" (Yes, a better option than "scene") who would tell you that it is every bit as real for them cyberwise as it would be in RT. I am not sure I would agree but nonetheless, it is their take.

< Message edited by FatDomDaddy -- 2/1/2007 3:26:34 PM >

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 15

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 3:24:26 PM

aSlavesLife

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I am unsure as to how my life can be seen as an escape from reality. I escape from reality when I am engrossed in a novel. I escape from reality when I daydream. I escape from reality when I sit down to a game of D & D. But my life? My life is reality.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 16

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 4:01:14 PM

julietsierra

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Joined: 9/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

"For the 24/7 folks, where do your live-out or dream fantasies take you? Without breaking the fourm rules, do you go to deeper and darker into the more taboo aspects of BDSM, or do you go the other direction and instead of escaping into, do you escape out of BDSM?

Yes, juliet, what is the BDSM equilvent of "...it's Saturday and we are looking for something fun to do?"

twicehappy indicated that she live in an open family and that there lifestyle is open to anyone that would come into the house but there are others who want to keep this very personal. It is a special escape for themselves and they want to keep it that way.

One other note, I think that there are people who cyber only with in "the community" (Yes, a better option than "scene") who would tell you that it is every bit as real for them cyberwise as it would be in RT. I am not sure I would agree but nonetheless, it is their take.

ok.. well, I guess to answer your question, when I was married, I never really contemplated life not being married - until not being married was something that became more and more a necessity - for safety reasons, not just because I was somehow dissatisfied. I was a married woman and conducted myself as such.

Now that I'm not married but am collared to the person I call my Master, it's not that much different. I conduct myself, regardless of where I am or who I'm with, in a manner that he would approve of. I don't see myself as collared only when I see him. I don't imagine other ways of life. This is where I am happiest and stepping out of this mode is something I don't even really know how to do anymore - nor would I want to.

But on Saturday nights, if he's unable to make it over, I go to the movies, spend time with my kids, visit my parents during the summer. If there's a munch going on and he's given permission to attend, I go there and visit with my friends. If that's not enough, I volunteer for the charities and groups of my choice. And if THAT'S not enough - I read.

What we do IS very private and special to us, but that doesn't mean we don't live this life of ours in the way that fits for us along the way. I don't know, or presume to make assumptions about anyone else.

juliet

juliet

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 17

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 4:08:40 PM

Missokyst

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Even though I run a group, I don't consider myself part of "the scene". I facillitate rather than participate in anything beyond a superficial level. Now, if you mean the scene as in engaging in BDSM.. That I do, and have done all of my sexual life. It isn't a fantasy, its.. activity, much like any other.
How much into the dark recesses I get depends on who I am with, or what is going on in my life at the time.
Escaping? Nah. This is as much me as my artistic ability is me.
I neither have to escape it, nor go deeper, it is just normal life. And like normal life, it ebbs and flows with different currents.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 18

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 4:12:20 PM

MaryT

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Joined: 12/8/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

I am curious on how the poster perceive themselves.

I am curious on how you perceive yourself ...

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

Post #: 19

RE: Fantasy Life or Reality Life? - 2/1/2007 4:27:16 PM

FatDomDaddy

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Joined: 1/31/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

I am curious on how the poster perceive themselves.

I am curious on how you perceive yourself ...

You and me both Mary.

I can tell you this...

I hate the way many in the "community" insist on labeling everything. I am also not too fond of the way vanilla gets used as a pejorative by a lot of the same people who insist on the above mentioned labels.

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 20

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