Slavery/Contribution to care

Slavery/Contribution to care (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

hereyesruponyou -> Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 5:04:36 AM)
I seem to find myself in somewhat unsure territory here. I see some Dominants who require tribute and demand payment in order to take over the care of another. Mostly I see alot of "slaves" who want to give up the responsibilities of the real world and just be taken care of forever, with the trade being service or even extreme restraint and punishment. I wish i had the money to be able to add another person to my household, but as a single mom I am making just enough to keep us comfortable. When I ask a perspective slave about his ability to contribute to his own care, they seem to often become somewhat offended. Not sure how to show I am not one of those people who are out there to take advantage of others. I don't need or want my slave to support me (however if there are any independently weathy slaves who want to, i guess i could let you, lol). Just curious how others feel about this. It seems so contradictory at times

KatyLied -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 6:05:34 AM)
I think you are being honest about your circumstances. If prospective slaves can't deal with it, too bad. I would have difficulty respecting anyone who wasn't willing to pull his own weight. (people can contribute different things, it doesn't always have to be about money, but in a partnership people should be willing to contribute, yes, both people).

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 6:44:21 AM)
quote: I wish i had the money to be able to add another person to my household, but as a single mom I am making just enough to keep us comfortable. When I ask a perspective slave about his ability to contribute to his own care, they seem to often become somewhat offended. Not sure how to show I am not one of those people who are out there to take advantage of others. I don't need or want my slave to support me (however if there are any independently weathy slaves who want to, i guess i could let you, lol). There is no middle ground... that's the one thing I've discovered. If you say you want them to contribute to the household finance then you're in it for the money and to the opposite extreme... if you tell them that you don't need their money they'll run just as quickly. I don't know that there is a way to show that you are not one that is looking for the almighty dollar other then time, patience and communication. *Good luck.* *Jewel*

JohnWarren -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 6:53:43 AM)
Just remember you don't need to meet everyone's expectations; you only need to meet the right one's. Rather than looking at these reactions as something negative, look at them as a quick indication that the person isn't right for you. You have the right to outline any limitations and requirements. If someone doesn't want to meet them, that person wouldn't work out anyway.

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 7:00:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou Not sure how to show I am not one of those people who are out there to take advantage of others. One thing I do is have my slaves keep the money they make in an account under their name but I have access to. I also ensure that anything I use that account for, I have a receipt for. This way if they want to walk away they can but they can't come back and say I took their money. I do agree with katy and Jewel. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't so to hell with them. If they can't deal with the fact that you aren't growing money trees in your back yard then you know they would not be the right fit for you and your home. A slave should add to a household, not drain from it.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 7:11:01 AM)
You have to remember that a lot of people are stuck in their fantasies. I'm betting that a lot of people haven't even thought about how much it costs to take over someone's life. I couldn't afford another car payment, for example. And, I'm totally betting that people haven't thought about medical power of attorneys or wills or even how they want to be buried should they die in the care of another person. You're looking for relationships...they're looking for fun. Your choices are to play with them and have fun, wait for someone who'd looking for an adult, healthy relationship that contains a transfer of authority in a structured relationship, or do the former while always looking for the latter (what most of us do). Master Fire

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 7:23:50 AM)
Yeah- do what I did and find a mature, responsible, sane, adult with a secure job and financially stable life on their own and start to have a relationship with them. I know that's actually a lot harder than it sounds, but for me it was the only option I was willing to entertain.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 7:26:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou I seem to find myself in somewhat unsure territory here. I see some Dominants who require tribute and demand payment in order to take over the care of another. Mostly I see alot of "slaves" who want to give up the responsibilities of the real world and just be taken care of forever, with the trade being service or even extreme restraint and punishment. I wish i had the money to be able to add another person to my household, but as a single mom I am making just enough to keep us comfortable. When I ask a perspective slave about his ability to contribute to his own care, they seem to often become somewhat offended. Not sure how to show I am not one of those people who are out there to take advantage of others. I don't need or want my slave to support me (however if there are any independently weathy slaves who want to, i guess i could let you, lol). Just curious how others feel about this. It seems so contradictory at times I see no problem with requiring someone to pay towards their own way. I've made it clear that I expect any submissive that wants to be with me to plan to keep on working unless they are: 1) disabled to the extent that they cannot work but still have a means of contributing financially to the household. I admit this would be a tricky one...not to be callous or cruel but I have no desire to take on someone that is going to require all my spare energy to take care of all of their needs, physical as well as mental and emotional and spiritual. 2) they are independently wealthy and don't have to work to contribute financially to the household. Here again, I feel somewhat "wierded" by this. I understand wealth...would not mind it myself...but I know that even were I to win a 200 million Lotto tomorrow, I would still work. I find those who do not want to work at something....be it arts, crafts, volunteering at a daycare center, etc....to be poor prospects for working at meeting my needs as the dominant *The above are MY views only and are not meant to be taken as any sort of "universal" statement about how things should be. If you disagree with the above viewpoint and wish to state that you do, please bring something to the argument other than emotions or platitudes. Void where prohibited. Not applicable to anyone under the age of 21.*

MaryT -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 7:36:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou Mostly I see alot of "slaves" who want to give up the responsibilities of the real world and just be taken care of forever That's a nice little fantasy, isn't it? A return to the simplicity of childhood, back to the womb, back to the swamps from which we came. Nothing about devolution seems sexy to me. I hope you hold out for someone worthy of you and, as MFM said, have a lot of fun in the meantime.

sublizzie -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 7:45:14 AM)
If someone wants to be 24/7 in your household, then why wouldn't they be expected to contribute to the household finances? That doesn't make sense to me. Whether the D or the s in the relationship, there needs to be some accountability for ensuring the financial health of the family.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 7:53:35 AM)
quote: I expect gifts to win my pleasure, however a single rose (thorns attached of course) would be more appreciated than something expensive with no other purpose. With a line like that in your profile and the wanting to start play on IM, you sound more like a porn site than a real person. This isn't an attack, simply an observation.

SirDominic -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 8:01:37 AM)
The reality is that few of us are independently wealthy and can afford to take on all the financial responsibilities of another, even if we wanted to. I think LA has the right idea, connect with someone who is already responsible for themselves, and make it clear they are to continue to do so, even as a 24/7 slave. That is the relationship I have with my slave. The only exception would be if the Dominant requires the sub/slave to stay at home and have no contact with the outside world without his presence or say so. That Dominant, in my mind, must be financially responsible under these circumstances, for all the slave's financial needs, including medical care, long term care, etc. To require a slave to be a 24/7 live-in while leaving them no financial safety net is grossly irresponsible, as far as I am concerned. Namaste, Sir Dominic

toservez -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 8:09:06 AM)
It is about people’s motivations. There are some people from both roles and genders who are looking mainly for economical and social gain through a relationship of this nature. When this goes to the more extreme ends and you have dominants only caring what the other brings to the economical part of the relationship and submissive people looking primarily for free room and board and not having to work then for me you have to then you have to question the health and sincerity of the actual relationship. This life does not prevent normal life from filtering in. Just like any other relationship, money issues and how two people want to live in terms of house, cars and vacations and how they get accomplished s not something to avoid or pretend are not big issues. As a submissive who loves my job, I am bias as I feel that there is nothing wrong with a person like me contributing toward the finances and that it has no effect on the power exchange in the relationship.

twicehappy -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 9:42:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirDominic The only exception would be if the Dominant requires the sub/slave to stay at home and have no contact with the outside world without his presence or say so. I really do not quite get this statement. I am a 24/7 live in. I do not work because this is what my owners required. Yet i IM with my kids almost daily, the rest of my family and friends often, i have a cell phone provided at their expense. There is always a vehicle with gas at my disposal. All my normal living expenses, clothes, personal items, computer, etc, plus a great deal of what i want (like flowers, seeds, craft items, hobby supplies) are provided. While i do have my own retirement there is a security net set up on my behalf should the unthinkable occur. Up to and including me having lifetime rights to occupy the house. The part i do not get or agree with is the "no out side contact". Big red flag comes to mind for any dominant stating this as a requirement! quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel *There is no middle ground... that's the one thing I've discovered. ... if you tell them that you don't need their money they'll run just as quickly.* *Jewel* No fair!!!! I argued that i'd rather work but i did not run.....lmao....race you to the door...it is snowing!!!!!

Mercnbeth -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 10:52:12 AM)
Always love when this topic comes up. I put on my asbestos suit and get to say again. Don't consider owning a slave until you can afford one. I also belief that a slave should only serve one Master, and define "one-Master" as having no job 'master' served. This was my goal and desire going back to the day I first wanted to immerse myself into this lifestyle. My slave serves me and takes care of me and mine. she is the most valuable of all my possessions and if circumstances changed impacting my financial status, her status wouldn't change and I would sacrifice every other "asset" and expense to maintain adherence to my belief. I hope you read "I", "my" and "mine" and not "this is the only way you are a 'real' slave or Master. Finding a slave who would agree to such a relationship wasn't easy. In fact it was damn near impossible as the 20+ years of prior attempt illustrates. First, mental ability and intelligence was necessary. Usually someone with those traits is also ambitious concerning career. It is a tremendous sacrifice to give up that part of life to surrender to a M/s dynamic 24/7. Laziness or a person wanting retire from 'work' to a life provided by a "sugar daddy/mommy" are easy to expose after a few days. There is no one universal way, but their is one right way - it's the "way" you should create for yourself. Use other people's examples and every other resource at your disposal, but when it comes to deciding what is best for you, only rely on you. Once you do - expect to be challenged, in fact solicit challenge. Defending your beliefs will help with confidence. Confidence, consistency, and the avoidance of hypocrisy, are personal traits for both sides of the flogger necessary to have as assets to draw upon in order to give and get trust. Good luck!

Missokyst -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 2:02:24 PM)
That's why choosing carefully is the worth the effort. If I should flip over to the other side, I could not stand having someone around who didn't expect to work outside our relationship. It would drive me insane. I don't care for people who don't have the same work ethic as I. I do know that people work in homes, providing care for families, but for ME, it's not the same. I have done it, and done it differently as a working divorced mother. Finding a job can be a challenge if you have been out of the workforce for a few years. I would worry that is something happened to me as the primary breadwinner if they would survive, and thrive if I was gone. I know that a lot of people would choose to have a stay at home slave. But for many people it is not only impractical, it is also irksome. I hope the OP finds what works for her. You were very fortunate to find what suited your needs. Kyst

hereyesruponyou -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 2:13:39 PM)
The one thing I DON'T want to to start play online at all. I just want to get to know them. I find online play rather unsatifying and I have enough experience to understand that when you do that you open yourself up to the ones who only want someone to watch them wank off. Actually demanding that it start with im is a way for me to weed out some of the married or in a relationship and not serious and the ones who are not able to write a complete sentence. Maybe intelligence doesn't matter, but for me it comes right after sense of humor in attractiveness. Thanks for your comment though, seriously

LadyKimberly33 -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 2:20:16 PM)
HI A big part of Me agrees with Mercnbeth, You must be able to afford your slave. Playmates are different, enjoy them along the way if You desire, but as far as a slave goes I believe You must be able to provide for them. My situation is a bit different because I have a husband and am searching for a slave, but I waiting until My life was stable and the time right to add another to the household. My needs and wants are always first and foremost. If he can do all that I ask and require and still have timeto have a small job that is fine, but it had not interfere with My time or wants. ( I had one request this as he wanted to have some "play money" he had access to to buy Me small gifts) I have talked with an attorney who is comfortable with the lifestyle who is willing to help draw upi the leagal documents that are necessary if You are to be in control of Your slave's welfare. While I understand where You are comming from, I say be patient too and the right slave will come along and it will just click perfectly, and all will fall into place. Lady Kimberly

LadyOunce -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 2:26:23 PM)
I admit, this is a pet peeve. As a dominant, I'm not looking to pay someone else's way in this world. It's one thing to expect gifts but when a submissive, especially a live in one, isn't willing to even pay their own bills because they're the "slave", this irks me to no end. If I wanted another mouth to feed that would clean the house, I'd have another 12 yo.

slavemaia -> RE: Slavery/Contribution to care (1/31/2007 6:29:43 PM)
It's a very individual thing. There are Dominants who don't mind taking care of their slave's needs and even some of their desires, and there are Dominants who want it the other way around. As with anything in this life, it's what works well for those involved. At present Master and i don't live together, W/we both work fulltime and i go to school one night a week. W/we've discussed the kind of life W/we want and are working toward making that O/our reality. i'm serving Him just as much by working fulltime now as i'll be once i'm in His home and taking care of His every need. This is because this is what Master needs me to be doing at this time. No matter how hard W/we try, the world and all its foibles always find a way to intrude into O/our dreams. So the best thing is to learn how to bring the 2 together.

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

4.882813E-02